rSlash - r/Niceguys vs r/Nicegirls My Boss Wants to Own My Body

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:12 Nice guy boss 17:19 Nice girls 17:23 Angry 18:20 Taken 19:00 Wants to steal 19:37 He cried Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tis the season to treat your family to the great taste of Popeyes. The festive family box is here to make your holidays brighter with all your Popeyes favorites. For just $25, you'll get four pieces of delicious Popeyes signature chicken, four tasty chicken tenders, four regular size and everybody's favorite, four buttermilk biscuits. Hurry up though, like the holiday season, Popeyes $ Festa Family Box Deal will be over before you know it! Love that chicken from Popeyes! Welcome to r slash nice guys vs r slash nice girls, where a nice guy slowly goes off the deep end into psychopath behavior.

Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationship advice. I'm a 32 year old man and my coworker slash friend is a 24 year old female. I've known her for one year. How do I let her know that she's in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend who's also 24? I work for a non-profit where I'm the supervisor of 10 people who work under me. Last fall, a young woman, Jennifer, started to work with us through an outside fellowship. Now she's the kind of person who just commands attention as soon as she walks in the room. She's very pretty, but she just has one of those

personalities that everyone likes, you know? I had to train her when we first started, but I was very surprised by how quickly she picked everything up. We do a lot of legal work, and it's not easy for people without previous experience to learn so quickly. So this should give you a good idea of the kind of person she is. I immediately took a liking to her because of her work, but also how easy she was to talk to. During our training, I would say we became pretty close. So much so that I would text her outside of work about non-work related stuff. Also she sends me snapchats a lot.

Random stuff like shows she watches. Like friends do. We even go to happy hour alone sometimes, and I think that I'm the closest to her at work. One time, she even had lunch with my mom when my mom was visiting town. So she's someone I consider a very good friend and want the best for her. Now here's the problem. About two months into her working with us, I found out that she has a boyfriend. To clarify, I do not have any romantic interest and I do not care that she has a boyfriend. I really don't care that she has a boyfriend, but I felt a little manipulated that she never

mentioned him before. I'm her supervisor. I've been training her for a few months. So we've been talking about a lot of stuff, so it just comes off as hiding something. People who work in small offices will know what I'm talking about. It was a little hard for me to trust her after that, but I kept it to myself. She was still a great employee, and her having a boyfriend didn't change anything because apparently she's been with this guy for five years now. He doesn't live in the same city, and they barely see each other from what I understand. So months go by and everything is going really well. So much so that I was even thinking about recommending her for a promotion. We became even closer during this time.

About two weeks ago, our parent group hosted a fundraising gala. I asked Jennifer if she would like to go with me and she said yes. I always have a great time with her, so I was really looking forward to it. The night of the gala, I called to see when I should pick her up, and she said her boyfriend was in town and he would drop her off so she would just meet me there. This is the first red flag I noticed. Is this guy really that insecure that he can't even let her date take her to this gala? Five years and this insecure? That's a problem. But I agree and say, okay, I'll meet her there. I get to the gala and start to mingle.

She eventually gets there, but I don't approach her. Honestly, I'm still pretty bothered by what happened earlier, so I wanted her to come to me and apologize. She came up to me and talked, but never apologized for what she did, but I ignored it. Soon, we were talking just like before and honestly really enjoying each other's company. Here's when I noticed the second red flag. Jennifer and I were talking to another couple when she excused herself because she had to take a call from her boyfriend. I thought it was pretty rude and she's never done something like this before.

A little later she comes back and says that her boyfriend is picking her up and she'll leave early. Third red flag. She was very much looking forward to this night, and suddenly she wants to leave early? You know when you can just tell someone isn't happy in their situation? Yeah, I definitely felt it right away. A little while later he gets there and I kid you not, this idiot walked into the gala wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I almost wanted to laugh but I didn't want to embarrass him. Jennifer introduces me to him and I make pleasantries but I do make a joke about how he must feel a little out of place.

He says something like, nah, I'm not really sticking around, so not a big deal. Okay, I don't really get what that has to do with anything. My point was that he was at a black tie event dressed like he was going to the gym. I don't care if you're here for 5 minutes or 5 hours. That's weird. So you can already see that he's getting an attitude with me for no reason. I follow up with, well, there are some really important people here. And his response was something like, I've met senators wearing flip-flops, I think I'll be okay. Oh my god, I'm getting angry writing this! But you see what I'm talking about, right? He completely rubbed me the wrong way. So anyways, as she's leaving, I tell her to let me know if she gets

home okay. It gets around midnight and she hasn't sent me a single message. So I send her a text and no reply. I send her another around 1am saying I'm worried and just to let me know if she's okay. No reply. I have a hard time sleeping that night because I'm genuinely concerned. It's just the kind of person I am. I need to know that my friends are okay or it bothers me."

I wake up the next morning after getting really bad sleep and she still hasn't responded. This makes me upset because I can see that she's uploaded pictures on Facebook but still hasn't responded to my text. The only explanation is that her boyfriend is the reason. She always responds to me at most a few hours later. So Sunday night, I finally send another message really detailing how upset I was with how she was treating me. Also how I think how much control I feel her boyfriend was exerting over her was really making me lose respect for her. I always thought that she was this strong independent woman and suddenly this guy is controlling who she can or can't

talk to. Of course, I get no reply. Monday, inevitably, we see each other at work and she confronts me first thing in the morning. Before I even get a chance to speak, she says I made her uncomfortable and she just wants to finish her last two months of fellowship without any contact that's not necessary for work. This was about two weeks ago. I was really upset at first, but honestly I've done a lot of reading. When you're in an abusive relationship, you stop seeing the world the way it is and

you only see it the way the abuser wants you to see it. It makes me really sad that I'm losing a good friend because her boyfriend has insecurity issues. I think over the past five years, he's done a good job gaslighting her. And it's to the point where it's affecting her relationship with other people, and it breaks my heart to see this happen to a good friend. My question is this, what's the best approach to let her know of these concerns that I have? How can you make someone who refuses to see reality to actually see what's happening?

I've spoken to my mother and we both agree that it would be best that she's also there when I approach Jennifer. What? However, do you think it should just be me alone or would it be better having a motherly figure there also to talk about something this serious? Also, if we have this conversation and she still refuses to break up with her abusive boyfriend, what are the final steps that I should take? To be frank, I'm not sure if I can remain friends with her if she continues to date him. I'm simply not the kind of person who will stick by someone who's willingly ruining their own life. Then OP starts making other posts and other subreddits and, as if it wasn't already unhinged enough, things really go downhill. OP posts to r slash LegalAdvice.

Let's just say I have a friend who's currently in an extremely abusive relationship to the point where it's affecting her work. I'm also her supervisor. Would it be possible for me to ask for a restraining order from her boyfriend? Let's say that she's in such a bad state that she can't ask herself that she's being forced not to. But me, along with a few other people, see how bad it is and want to get her out. Therefore, if we have several people that can attest to this, could this make a difference? Like can we make an argument that she's been abused so badly that she cannot make this decision for herself?

If this is not technically possible, what's my next best course of action? Then he makes a post to r slash off my chest which I think is meant to be just anonymous ranting. And you think you're better off now? Laughable. I tried to help you and you gave me a giant middle finger. Hope you enjoy the hell you got waiting for you in the future. But you probably think you're better off. This cracks me up. Just wait when you come running back asking for forgiveness and I'll just laugh at you as I'm doing now. Good luck you terrible excuse for a human being. Oh and F you. Then OP makes another update where he kinda rants about immigrants for a little bit and then says,

You're an effing liar. You may have tricked a lot of other people, but I see right through you. Karma's gonna hit you like a b-word. Don't come running back then. I'm only going to leave this door open for a little while longer. I hope you see the light soon because you're only effing up your own future. Then there's an Ask Reddit post where someone asks, what gets you hopping mad? And Opie says, When people ignore all the warning signs and then complain when things end up bad. Like, hey, everyone warned you but no, you don't want to listen. And then another Ask Reddit post,

Who's the most delusional person you've known? A friend whose delusion is slowly ruining her life. But at a certain point, there's only so much you can do. Then about a month later, OP made another post to r slash off my chest, which again, I think is supposed to be an anonymous ranting thing. Effing B-word. I've been in this profession a decade longer than you. I could have helped you move forward in your career. Now you're talking trash? You're really gonna try to ruin my reputation when all I did was try to help?

Do you know the connections I have? You think when you leave in a month you'll just slide in easily to some new job? I'll effing ruin you and make sure everyone knows how terrible of an employee you are. Let the games begin you dumb b-word. Try to keep your effing legs closed for a few minutes while I fix the damage you caused. You really have no idea how non-profits work, do you? This is such a small world and you attacked the one person who's helped you from the beginning.

Oh, and thanks to not showing up to my boxing match. Even though we talked about it months ago and you said that you would come. This just confirms you were never a friend and just using me. We don't need users like you in the business. I've helped hundreds of people and will help hundreds more. Can't wait for you to go back into your cushy life where you don't know what real pain is. Leave the real work to people like me who genuinely care about helping. Yo, this guy's actually deranged. It just keeps going on. He made another post in r slash unsent letters,

which is specifically a subreddit that's all about like, venting anonymously. Dear friend, where do I even start? This Friday will mark a month since you left. Three weeks ago marks a year since we met. I wonder if you even think about any of that. Lul. Honestly, you probably do, but I know that he would never let you show it. Do you know that I haven't even had the strength to go on social media or reddit for a while now?

It reminds me too much of the memes that we shared on Snapchat. But I'm tired of holding back my happiness because you chose to be dense. I remember like yesterday when you first walked in. Nervous, unsure, but beautiful nonetheless. I immediately introduced myself. This is something I never do as I have to maintain a role of authority, but something about you was different. Well, I thought so anyways. I could see that just speaking to me changed your demeanor. I had an effect on you. You never really worked in an office before and didn't

realize how cold it would be. I offered you my blazer and you were so thankful. It put a smile on my face, but it was also when I first noticed that we would become good friends. Man, how things have changed, huh? To be honest, I probably never should have become such a good friend to you. There lies my biggest mistake. People always tell me I'm too trusting and friendly, and until now, I really didn't want to believe it, lol. But I took you under my wing. With my help, you picked things up so quickly, faster than anyone I saw in a decade of this business.

You had a future in this, you were promising. See how I said had, lol. I still get a smile when I think about that meeting that we had to present to Roger. You were so nervous, visibly shaking. Do you remember who gave you the encouraging words so you could go out there? Do you remember how delighted he was and all the compliments he gave you? You were ecstatic. You were made for this and I was the one to show you that you could do it.

On the way back from our presentation, I took you to the halal food truck. I still can't believe you never tried it. Haha, but you loved it. You would snapchat me every time you went. But you threw it all away because you were weak. It really isn't your fault, I know, but I can't help but be angry that you're so weak. You let him gaslight you, abuse you, control you. He decided who your friends were.

He decides who you text. He decides how long you stay out. But at the end of the day, you accepted it. You let him, and for that, I don't think I can ever forgive you. I tried so hard to get through to you, but instead, you turned on me. You almost ruined everything I worked for but alas, you came to your senses and at least dropped those ridiculous accusations against me. I guess I can at least respect that. Then OP just rants some more and continues.

We could have built an empire but I will now build it on my own. I was always going to, I just thought that I would help a friend along in the journey. But it'll be truly interesting when you're broke, lonely, and depressed in a few years because of this terrible mistake. When you come back to me looking for help and I will no longer be the guy who bends over backwards for you. I hope you remember that YOU made this decision. You chose him over your future. You chose him over your career. You chose him over your career. You chose him over your friends who really cared for you. It's sad.

Pathetic, really. I feel bad, but also amused and angry. Today's been hard because I found out the person we interviewed to replace you will start Monday. It just brought back a lot of memories and I had to vent. But you probably don't care. You were just acting to boost your own ego, not because you ever cared about the people we helped. You're a sad and broken person. You're pathetic and it disgusts me how you acted at the end.

But you'll just be a smudge in my memories. Good luck kid, you're gonna need it. Then, you know, take this with a grain of salt, but another user claims to be the evil boyfriend and makes a reply. I actually had difficulty remembering the details because of how untrue and inconsistent OP's descriptions of the events were. Super eerie and surreal all around though. So my girlfriend went to HR and HR was pretty cool with her and let her transfer to a different part of the company. I don't really know the details, but she's working with a brand new team than her previous one. As for whether or not OP was disciplined, there was an official report about the incident, but no word on any actions after that. We haven't had any other

contact from Mr. Nice Guy either. Also, it wasn't a gala, it was just a normal fundraiser. Most people had button ups and slacks on. It was during the fundraiser that he started being really creepy towards her. He started by introducing her as his date and kept insisting they were more than friends. Eventually he became overly touchy, always trying to grab her lower back or always reaching to hold her hand. She finally had enough when he offered the two of them to go somewhere quiet together. She called me and told me to pick her up immediately.

It's interesting to note that his version included a conversation between us that never happened. I was just picking up some free food and drinks at the fundraiser when my girlfriend immediately grabbed me and introduced me to the guy. I said hello and he didn't say a word. He kinda glared at me and muttered something that I couldn't hear. Then he awkwardly tried to give my girlfriend a hug but she quickly turned away and he said to call him when she gets home. My girlfriend said that she almost threw up when he said that. This whole thing really caught her by surprise,

because she said that he was a really nice guy for the majority of the year. It was only around summer that he started acting strange. She only has a couple of weeks left with that company, and then she's going to be moving with me to a new place, so I really don't care what happens to that guy. I hope he finds Jesus or something though. Yo, imagine going to work one day and your creepy coworker and his mother

try to give you an intervention about your boyfriend. Oh my God! Even worse, imagine finding out that your coworker is trying to file a restraining order for you against your own partner. That was r slash nice guys, and this is r slash nice girls. Our next reddit post is from ProtoRacer. I'm not sure about seeing you again. Alright, goodnight.

Wow, that's it? Seriously? Okay. Now I realize this was a huge mistake. How rude, huh? Grow up. You just pissed me off and I never get mad. Then sometime later Sorry for being rude. I wasn't feeling good. Then sometime later. Don't be immature and ignore me I can get any guy I want to I don't need you My uncle is the old governor here and worked for the embassy. My family has power. You are nothing. Goodbye. So don't come back to my place.

Wow. It's been ages since I've heard someone use the My uncle works at Nintendo argument that you hear in elementary school. Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Well, well my dad is a ninja and could beat up your dad. And my uncle works at Nintendo and he could delete your save file if you wanted to. Our next Reddit post is from PME or Lawnchair. Hi, just hear me out, okay? Don't reply until I'm done, okay?

Okay, so like I think you're a smart guy and kinda cute and was wondering if you'd be willing to get a coffee or just hang out or whatever. I thought we really had a connection when we met. I'm honestly super flattered, but I have a girlfriend. Sorry, I hope I didn't give you the wrong idea at Cooper's. LOL WOW, you thought that I was effing serious? Like I'd ever date someone like you? I was totally effing kidding. I can't believe you fell for that. OMG, I'm sorry, but I can't even. Our next reddit post comes from r slash relationships. A guy on here just uploaded a video and I checked it out and he's really hot.

I realized he has a family, so I stalked his Instagram and I'm a lot hotter than his wife. Shall I message him? I know most of you will probably say that I shouldn't, but this guy is really hot and I think he deserves better. From stalking his insta, I can see that when he got with his wife he was overweight and didn't look that great. Now he's really into fitness, as am I, and looks really good. He seems like a good dad too and a cool person. I really want to message him telling him he can do better than his wife. Our next reddit post is from That F***ing Boy.

Hey, I still want to be a thing. I honestly think that we could make things work out. Listen, I don't think that we can be together. I really think we hit it off, but I'm just not looking for a committed relationship. What we had was temporary. I'm sorry. Really? So you're just going to effing toss me aside? I feel kind of let on, man. I mean, I was nothing but nice and supportive towards you. I listened to all your effing problems and I was there for you when you were crying about your mom's effing cancer. And what kind of dude cries? You're such a pussy.

I even paid for coffee that one time because you were running short on cash. Jerk broke too, LMAO! What kind of man? You're just a sad, insecure little boy. Whatever, I can do better. I'm waaaaay better than you could ever be. Honey, you were the temporary one. As if I'd stay with you!

I hope you go choke on giraffe dick. Anyways, don't effing ever text me again. Your number is blocked.