rSlash - r/Nuclearrevenge The Brazilian Punisher

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:08 Punisher 1:49 Best life 13:10 School Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. I recently had to cancel a few subscriptions. One of them was costing me $60 per month. God, it felt good to drop that one. I started wondering, what other subscriptions are whittling away at my wallet without my knowledge? So, I downloaded Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors are spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money helps you find monthly subscriptions so you can easily cancel them. Just think, you could have an active subscription right now that's been sucking money from you for the past five years, six years, who knows? Unless you spot the transactions, you'll keep paying forever and ever.

Rocket Money has the potential to save you thousands in unwanted subscription payments. You can use the app to cancel your subscriptions with just a few taps. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash r slash. That's RocketMoney.com slash R slash R slash. Welcome to R slash nuclear revenge, where a guy kills 50 people to get revenge. Our next Reddit story is from deleted. Today, I bring you a tale of a man called Chico Pedepato. Francisco Vitol de Salvia lived in Campo Allegre de Ludras before he decided to move to Sao Paulo to get better living conditions. He got a job as a bricklayer until he decided to open a bar in the early 80s, but it was constantly being robbed. One day, when he was filing a police report, five men broke into his house, stole a bunch of items, and assaulted his wife and daughter.

He returned to his hometown with his family to recover psychologically from all that mess. After two months, he returned to Sao Paulo without his wife and daughter. But this time, he was not after better life conditions. He was after blood. He killed more or less 50 criminals, including the ones who abused his family. And he would have kept killing more if he hadn't killed an undercover cop, which made him get arrested. He got six years in prison, and he would have gotten more. But thanks to the pressure of 2,000 people who went to court in his defense, he got a small sentence.

But their appeal was in vain, because in 1987, he was stabbed 91 times in jail, which led to his death. And that's the bloody revenge story of a man who just wanted a better life and ended up being the nightmare of every criminal in Sao Paulo. The top comment from sopping love nest. Stabbed 91 times which led to his death. Are you sure there wasn't an underlying health condition at play? The reply sure was the first 90 stab wounds. Our next Reddit posts is from Unlakely Win Revenge. This story is about a buddy of mine. the most decent guy you could ever be lucky enough to call a friend, and how he got nuclear revenge on his cheating ex-fiance

who dumped him for his best friend, all the while still being the most upstanding, greatest guy you can imagine. My friend's name is Buddy, and his ex-fiancee is Lisa. He had a best friend, Dick. As you read the story, you have to always remember that Buddy is literally the greatest guy on the planet. Dick is, well, kind of a dick.

annoying as hell. But Buddy says that he always means well, and his heart is in the right place. Lisa is a bit of a cheating, lying, self-centered narcissist as ever walked the face of the earth. Our story begins when Buddy, Dick, and Lisa were in middle school together at a typical suburban high school outside of a southern city. Football team, Friday Night Lights, etc. The three of them are all in marching band and inseparable friends. If you know band types, Buddy plays the French horn and Dick plays the tuba. I don't know what Lisa played, probably the flute because it's a cliche. Buddy and Lisa were boyfriend-girlfriend, and Dick was a happy third wheel. As they got older, Buddy and Lisa explored the physical side of their relationship,

like normal high school kids do, while Dick is happy to be a player. He's decent looking, so he has no problem getting action, and also occasionally makes use of the professional women in their town. This will be important later. Buddy and Lisa, being typical good students, go on to prestigious public university in Southern City. Dick drops out of high school, but a self-taught programmer winds up with a decent career in tech. Buddy graduates college early with honors and proposes to Lisa at his graduation dinner with a small diamond because he put himself through school and that's all he can afford. She accepts.

Buddy gets a job at a fancy consulting firm in a prestigious city. Lisa finishes college back home in Southern City. Come time for Lisa to graduate, Buddy helps his fiance also get a job at fancy consulting firm. During her last spring break, when she flies up to prestigious city to visit Buddy and interview for her job, she gets pregnant. She flies back home, tells Dick that she's in trouble, and Dick takes her to the abortion appointment. Neither of them tell Buddy, ever. I heard about this from Buddy's wife, who heard about it from Dick one night when he was drunk. As far as I know, Buddy's still doesn't know. Buddy, if you ever read this, sorry, dude, I should have told you, but it wasn't my place. Lisa realizes when she doesn't want to tell Buddy about her abortion, she can't marry him,

but she's not brave enough to break it off. Instead, she ghosts him, and he finds out through the HR department of a fancy consulting firm that she's turned down her job offer, and she won't be moving to prestigious city after all. Buddy calls Dick, and Dick says, Dude, I'm sorry, but it's worse. Lisa and I are now a couple. You can punch me in the face the next time we get together. Somehow, Buddy and Dick decide that Lisa isn't worth destroying their friendships. So they stay best friends, going hunting together on Dick's family place in the country, etc.

Lisa is not happy about this. But Dick tells her that if she makes him choose, he'll choose Buddy. Buddy takes a year or so to get over it and starts dating again. Pretty soon he meets Jen and falls madly in love, crazy in love. And to make things better, Jen is just as crazy about him. In less than six months, they're engaged. Now, the thing you have to understand is that Lisa is drop-ded gorgeous. She's not tall enough to be a model, just average height, but she's got these intense, giant blue eyes and super long eyelashes, long, shiny, wavy, dark brown hair, an exquisite face, and a terrific figure. She's prettier than a movie star. She's prettier.

and being beautiful is really important to her. Jen is pretty enough, but regular, and she really and truly did not give enough. Dick travels to prestigious city, without Lisa, to meet Buddy's fiancé. Dick and Jen really get along. Jen gets along with everyone, and reports back to Lisa that Buddy is really happy, his fiancé Jen is awesome, etc.

Lisa gets jealous and pouty when she hears about Jen's Ivy League education, but then Dick makes a point of telling her that Jen is nowhere near as hot as Lisa, at least until she gets an invitation to the wedding. Lisa pitches a fit, refuses to go, and tries to prevent Dick from going. But there's no way in hell he'll miss his best friend's wedding, so he goes stack. No big deal, it's a super small, low-key wedding. At the wedding, Dick reconnects with other high school friends of theirs, a guy named Ray, whose date to the wedding was actually someone else's wife.

Ray has a thing for married women. This is important. Buddy and Jen go on living their best lives. At some point, Buddy gets an Ivy League NBA. His career takes off like gangbusters. They pop out a couple of kids. Jen quits her career to be a stay-at-home mom. They're rich as hell, still crazily in love and blissfully happy.

A couple of times a year, the guys get together and bring their wives along. At some point, Dick and Lisa get married. Buddy and Jen are not invited to the wedding, by the way. But the women get along okay. Jen gets along with everyone, and Lisa is happy, because she's thinner and prettier than Jen, especially after both women have been through pregnancy and childbirth. The years tick on. One day, around 2008, when Buddy, Jen, and Dick are all playing World of Workup together. Dick gets on TeamSpeak to tell a hell of a story. Dick and Lisa have continued to hang out with Ray, their high school friend who has a thing for married women.

He turned his eye on Lisa, who, even after three kids, is even hotter than she was in college. She leaned heavily into the milf role. Meanwhile, Dick has had enough of her nonsense. He's decided to divorce her three times, but each time when he tells her, she cries and gets all pouty. They have one last romp, she gets pregnant, and bam, Dick and Lisa have three kids. Ray goes in hard with his practiced seduction routine, and Lisa cries to Dick that she can't stand it,

and can she please passionately hug Ray? They do, Dick watches, then goes in for sloppy seconds, and Lisa and Dick's marriage enters its suburban swinger era. Dick gives Jen and Buddy every gory detail over the course of a two-hour conversation while they're all killing wolves on low-level alts in Elwyn Forest, and Lisa is upstairs with a bottle of wine. It's obvious that during their next visit, Dick wants to join in in sexy fun times with Buddy and Jen. But they're not into that. And after an awkward five minutes, things go back to normal. The kids all play together, the women make small talk, and Buddy and Dick hang out together doing the normal things that guys do.

Dick tells Buddy that the reason they're into swinging is that he gets off on watching Lisa being degraded, and Lisa gets off on making Dick feel like he isn't man enough for her. The marriage is not happy, but Dick wants to stay married because Lisa is hot as hell. She's got a solid career, and he's a good career. and he's a mid-level tech guy with a GED who works from home while he takes care of three kids, so he'll never be able to do better. Dick calls Buddy to chat. His marriage has gone to hell. Lisa has, in her words, met the love of her life. She's moved on from Ray and from the swinging scene and is now having an affair with a guy from the accounting department at her job.

She's staying out all night. She's ignoring the kids. Dick and Lisa take the kids on a swanky vacation to try to focus on their family and spends all their time crying because she misses her affair partner. And she doesn't want to be there. She doesn't want to divorce because she knows that she'll lose the kids. She's drunk all the time. And she doesn't want to have to pay Dick child support. She wants him to let her live whatever life she wants while he does all the cooking and cleaning and child care and still bring in 50% of household money. Lisa also will not shut up about how she could have married Buddy and been like Jen, a stay-at-home mom in a giant 5,000 square foot house with six bedrooms and a pool. I should mention that Buddy also had a Neville Long Bottom-style glow-up

and went from a nerdy band kid to a silver-haired super-confident high-level executive in a top-tier consulting firm, whereas Dick is still the guy working from his basement in sweatpants, covered in Dorito Crumbs. Dick's been working on himself, but there's no way. way he can compete in Lisa's eyes. Although both Buddy and Jen tell me about Dick's great qualities. Lisa is jealous, hopping mad, and she blames Dick. Dude, trust me, I know she's bad news. Leave her. Buddy tells Dick. It's the last conversation they'll ever have. Buddy gets a call at work one afternoon. It's Bob, Dick's dad. Dick got drunk, woke up Lisa at 3 a.m., told her that he never loved her, that she'd never been enough of a woman for him, that he'd been visiting prostitutes during most of their marriage,

and he hoped she would go to hell. Then he blew his brains out in such a way that the splatter went all over her and all over the bed. When the ambulance got there, she was hysterical, sitting on the curb outside the house, screaming over and over again, Kill me too! It's all my fault! It's all my fault! Later, Bob would call Buddy to tell him that Lisa's specific, specifically says that he's not welcome at the funeral. Dick's parents, Bob and Linda, step in to take care of the three little kids, who did nothing wrong and do not deserve this, while Lisa does nothing but work and drink. About a year later, Buddy flies to Southern City to put flowers on Dick's grave and visit with Dick's parents, Bob and Linda. Bob is still in shock, but he and Linda have taken Lisa in as a daughter to try and help her through this as much as they can. Bob asked Buddy,

why did Lisa say that it was all her fault? And why did she ban you from the funeral? What don't I know? What's the rest of the story? Why did Dick do it? The moment of ultimate revenge. Buddy thanks for a minute and decides that it'll help Bob and Linda understand the tragedy of what happened to their son if they know the full story. So he tells them everything. Bob and Linda have continued to do everything for the three kids and they continue to treat Lisa well because that's best for the children. But the clock is ticking. Lease has remarried now. When the kids are old enough, Bob and Linda will tell them the whole story. The youngest kid will be 18 soon. Buddy is still grieving over his friend. Proof that living well is indeed the best revenge. Sucks about Dick though. Buddy says that Dick was the kind of guy who would come to your house when all hell broke loose, clean your fridge, and make a five-star dinner with whatever he could find. Nuclear revenge wasn't worth the cost. I wish I'd known him. Yeah, a pretty wild story. It's not so much revenge, so much as it is one person living a really great life and then his kind of loser friends living really terrible lives. But at least the good guy gets his happy ending. Our next Reddit posts is from Our Ad. This happened over a decade ago in my senior year of high school. I'm from India and girls here are still afraid to tell others about harassment because of shame and society. I was enrolled in a big school.

There were more than 800 students in my school, so you can imagine the rush and crowd while leaving the school. It used to get so crowded and chaotic because there were parents' cars and auto rickshaws waiting to pick up the kids. Some kids rode their bicycles through the crowd, while others ran to nearby vendors for Panny Puri and Samosas. It was almost like an amusement park. One day, while walking hand in hand with my friend, I spotted this weird, straggling man looking through the bunch of kids. I thought he might be looking for someone specific, and I didn't think much about it, but I must admit, he was creepy. I saw him again a few more times daily.

But one day, while I was walking with my friend making our way through the crowd, that man crossed me. I was about to collide with him and tried to avoid him. But instead, he pushed me and grabbed and pinched my chest area so hard that it began to hurt a lot. He was so smooth with his actions that my first first, friend who was by my side, couldn't tell what happened. She kept asking me what was wrong, but I just walked mindlessly to my auto rickshaw and sat there and told her to go away.

She understood and walked away, as she used to live nearby. I was so shaken that when I got home and saw my parents, I burst into tears. Because I was an only child, I was never afraid to tell my parents anything, and I told them everything. My dad was pissed, and that's where our revenge started. I've never seen my dad so angry before. He drafted a plan to trap this sleaze ball with two of my other uncles. My dad was friends with our school principal. My dad visited the principal when he was attending my school the next day, as if nothing had happened, as they told me not to tell anyone. Our principal was great and assured us that even though it happened outside the school, they would fully cooperate and trap the sleaze ball. At lunch, they called me into the principal's office and told me that

Uncle 1 and Uncle 2 would be scattered in the crowd with my English teacher. The school gatekeeper would be near me, and my dad would be near the shop where I usually spot the man. They instructed me to walk normally with my friend and avoid them as if they were strangers, but to alert the nearest person as soon as I spotted this sleaze ball. My dad and the others were there the whole day, and at 5 p.m. it was time to execute the plan. As I was instructed, I was walking casually with my friend. She asked me several times what was going on because she knew something was odd, but I told her to shush and enjoy the show. And then I spotted the sleaze ball actually harassing my other classmate,

and I quickly alerted one of my uncles. Initially, the plan was to not hit him and just call the police, but he was caught in the act. So my uncle dragged the sleaze ball away and started beating him. Soon, my dad, my other uncle, and the gatekeeper joined him. Then my English teacher handled the situation and dragged the sleaze ball inside the school gates and ran to the principal's office. My classmates surrounded me with questions, and I gladly answered them and stayed outside the gates with them. After a few minutes, I was called to the principal's office, where I saw Sleesball.

I thought they might ask me some questions, but the principal gave me some apple juice and told me to relax. Sleesball was there crying, begging to let him go and that he would never do it again. He was badly bruised and his clothes were torn. After a few minutes, the police came and took the sleaze ball, and he was giving me such a deadly look that it still gives me chills. My father and everyone else in the room were so happy and smiling as if there was a celebration, and told me they were so proud of me as I'd saved multiple girls that day. I still don't know the details, but the school took full responsibility for our safety,

put the man in jail, and CCTV was installed within a week, even in a parking lot to cover the area outside the school. Gotta love a story with a happy ending. That was our slash nuclear revenge, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.