rSlash - r/Offmychest I Banged My Daughter's Hot Friend

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Daughters friend 1:34 Teen pregnancy 4:45 Comment 5:02 Not mine 7:30 Barter 9:08 Smell 10:53 Over my head 13:24 Arrested Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You hear that? Ugh, paid. And done. That's the sound of bills being paid on time. But with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card, paying your bills could sound like this. Yes! Earn rewards for paying your bill in full and on time each month.

Rise to rewards with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. Terms and conditions apply. Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease the 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Condition supply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Welcome to r slash off my chest, where OP bangs his daughter's best friend.

Our next Reddit post is from Affectionate T. My daughter has a very pretty 21 year old friend. Before all this happened, I remembered thinking to myself, if I was younger, I'd totally date her. She's my type. Blonde, tall, cute face, kind, etc. She's always been very nice to me, but suddenly she actually started teasing me. She started calling me daddy over text. She said, your daughter is so lucky. I wish you were my daddy.

She texted me at night to ask me a question. It was an excuse, of course. I replied to the question, but she kept the conversation going and said, I'm in bed right now, but can't sleep. Honestly, I totally wanna hug. To keep it short, I couldn't keep it in my pants. I'm really not a horny dude drooling over young girls.

My daughter has seven to eight close friends that I see regularly. She's the only one I find pretty, because she really is pretty, and I simply couldn't resist. I'm divorced, I started seeing someone else two months ago, but I wouldn't call that cheating since we aren't clearly a couple yet. I'm just anxious because I wouldn't want my daughter to find out. Yesterday, she suddenly said, we need to talk, and it scared the hell out of me. Because every time I see her, I'm like, I hope she hasn't found out.

I hope she hasn't found out. I hope she hasn't found out. OP, your daughter WILL find out. The only question now is how much damage it's going to cause. Our next reddit post is from No Pool. I'm a 30 year old woman and I have a 15 year old son. We'll call him Olly. Plus other children ages 2, 6, 9, and 11.

As you can tell by my own age, I was a teen parent. I was lucky and we married at 18. We're still married with a healthy relationship. And we worked our way out of a very dire situation. We graduated and started a trade, and we're comfortable, stable in all ways. This information is relevant. Ali's been friends with this girl, Bree, since she was 7 years old. Their family used to live in the same city as us and went to the same school, same friendship group.

We know her parents and are long distance friends ourselves. Not close friends, but say hello when the kids are on video chat. We've had drinks together before. Bree's family moved to a very small town three states away due to rental affordability, which is not a secret. We've all talked about the rising costs of everyday life. The cost of living in this city has risen, forcing many locals out. They moved because of that, and for better job opportunities 18 months ago. Since then, Oli's been begging for us to follow. Giving us a sales pitch on cheaper housing, better paying jobs, none of which fit either

of our professions. The whole works. We've said no because, well, no. But even if we wanted to, our other kids are still in school, sports, and have friends here. Selling and buying another house, finding work outside of our skill set, or having to learn new skills, any normal adult would understand this. He does not. Well, fast forward to Christmas. Bree's family came back to our city for a holiday, and the kids met up multiple times

with each other. It was my understanding that they were always with the other kids, but obviously not since Brie is pregnant and I'm certain that it was on purpose. My son had access to condoms. He's had sex education from me, my husband, and school. He knows damn well how babies are made and how not to have one. Ollie now wants me to move to be with her and the baby. It's confirmed. I've talked to her parents. And I said, no, I don't feel I need a reason, but he asked. You're 15. We don't have any proof it's your child yet. I'm not moving us away from our lives, and you aren't going alone until you're 18. We'll do a DNA test when we look at parenting plans and topped it off with a too bad, so sad.

You made your bid, now you have to sleep in it. He took that back to Bree, and now all communication between me and her parents has been cut, and I'm a terrible person. My comments about the DNA test are disgusting and it's fueling my son's hate for me. He says that I'm keeping him from the love of his life and future baby using my own successful relationship as proof that it'll work out. I actually don't even care if I'm right or not. I'm just really upset and feel like my life that I worked really hard for has been destroyed. Man, OP has a super manipulative kid here. OP can't really give in because

if OP does, then this behavior is going to be rewarded, then the kid's going to say, I need money for the baby and just expect OP to pull through. Ah, yeah, down in the comments, Bootyfubaka says pretty much what I was thinking. Reality is about to hit that kid like an effing train. Clearly, he's way too immature to have a kid, so I hope things work out for him, but realistically it sounds like he ruined his and Bree's lives. Our next reddit post is from throwaway famlife. My wife Kelly and I have known each other for over 20 years and have been married for 18 years.

We have 17 year old twins, a boy and a girl, and I found out that they aren't mine two days ago. My kids got those ancestry tests for the family and we found out that I am NOT their father. Kelly and I met each other as co-workers at a job right out of college. We both were very ambitious, so after working for a couple of years, we decided to start our own business. We fell in love, and a year after starting our business, we got married. A couple of months into the marriage, we had a massive fight over the direction we wanted to take our business in, and I left our home. She came to me a couple of weeks later, and we compromised.

We've been inseparable ever since. Kelly got pregnant around that time. We've been through thick and thin. Our business has been through several hardships, but we weathered them together. We were always there for each other. We could always depend on each other. I loved her so much. She was a part of me, and I couldn't even imagine a life without her. I trusted her absolutely until this happened.

Kelly's been crying and apologizing constantly. She told me that during the time that we had that fight at the start of our marriage, she got drunk one night and slept with a random guy, and that she hasn't cheated on me since. The betrayal has left me disoriented. I told Kelly I needed time to process this, and I'm currently staying at a hotel. I don't know what I'm even doing anymore.

The last two days have been a blur. I don't know what I'm even doing anymore. The last two days have been a blur. I feel like a zombie, completely unable to feel or process anything. I don't intend to abandon my kids. I might not be their father, but I'm still their dad and I love them dearly. Right now I'm sitting on my hotel bed and I haven't eaten anything today. My thoughts are a mess, so I'm writing this down to help me process. Kelly's always been a great wife and an excellent business partner. I don't know if I'll be able to look at her the same again, or if I'll be the same person again. I don't know how to move forward." It's a shame how long it takes people to realize the truth, because the line,

Kelly has always been a great wife, is just objectively false. She cheated, unless you want to go with Ross's we were on a break line, and even if they were on a break she at least would have had an idea that the kids weren't his and never told him. But she was perfectly content keeping that lie for 17 years. That doesn't make her a good wife, that makes her a terrible person. Our next reddit post is from Deleted. When I was in university, I made enough money to buy an apartment by letting a rich Indian student give me oral. Thank god I found this place, it's been eating me alive for the longest time. There were only two girls in my class, engineering. And for five years, we let an extremely rich Indian exchange student go down on us.

He was rarely interested in anything else, and his only condition was to have us both at the same time lying next to each other, moaning softly. He was probably into light-skinned brown girls because he didn't want us to tan during summer break. And he was livid when my friend spent a weekend in Barcelona and got a bit darker. We would get 2,000 euros per visit and he would visit three to five times per week. Hold on. 2,000 euros times two people is 4k times five times a week.

That's 20,000 euros per week? What is that per year? 20,000? 20,000 euros per week times 52 weeks a year is a million euros. Almost exactly. It's a million 40k. If he wanted intercourse, he paid 10 times more. 20,000 euros? But we actually preferred it to just be the oral. When I graduated, I bought my apartment with a C-View and zero mortgage. My husband is so proud of me for being so young and having my life in order with a great job and place. I wonder what he would feel if I told him I paid in orgasms. That's a one followed by a lot

of zeros. No, that's a one followed by a lot of O's. I can smell when people are sick, and it's driving me insane. I'm not sure if this is my special gift, but it's actually disgusting. For as long as I can remember, me and my sister have been able to tell when people are sick or are getting sick because we can literally smell you. I don't have to be in your face. You don't have to be the person sitting directly next to me. But I will smell it. I will tell you that you're getting sick, and then you'll text me a few days later

and tell me I was right. I don't know how to explain the smell. The best way to describe it is a mixture of pine and a hint of garlic. It's not just your breath. Your pores literally radiate this smell. It's not limited to specific people either. I've told dozens and dozens of people this over the course of my life, and it's all the same smell. I guess it's helpful in a way because I can tell people in advance and maybe they can

take some measures before they're riddled with a full-blown flu, but you guys stink. This reminds me of something I think of every single time I see any sort of popular media like a show or a movie with someone with enhanced senses. Like Wolverine from Marvel can apparently track people through scent or any of the vampires or werewolves you'd see in Vampire Diaries or True Blood or anything like that. If your sense of smell is really that acute that you can track humans, then that means you're just smelling people's stinky butt holes 24x7. Like really, what are the stinkiest parts of a person? Their butthole, their ball sack, and their armpits. And all these movies tried to make vampires and werewolves seem all sexy with their enhanced senses, but really,

to them, the world would just be a parade of stinky butt holes and ball sacks. Our next reddit post is from Anxious Atmosphere. I applied for a job that I wasn't qualified for out of desperation. I'd been unemployed for four months, rent was due, and I was down to my last $300. The job posting was looking for someone with 2-3 years experience in a field that I had barely touched. I had no experience. So I googled some terminology, watched a few crash courses, and walked into the interview

like I belonged there. I threw around a few buzzwords I barely understood and smiled a lot. Somehow, it worked. They offered me the job the next day. Now I've been working here for three weeks and every day I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. I have 20 tabs open at all times. Chat GPT, Reddit, Stack Overflow, YouTube tutorials just to survive the day. What's crazy is no one has said anything. My manager compliments me. People come to me with questions. I'm scared they'll eventually realize I'm improvising everything. But at the same time, I'm learning. Fast. I've already automated part of my workflow. I fixed something yesterday that the team had been ignoring for months. I don't know if I'm still faking it or actually growing into it, but I've never been this

motivated or scared in my life. OP, my wife used to work with this person who had way more experience at the job than my wife did. And you'd think, of course, that 30 years on the job would make this woman quite experienced, but this woman would come to my wife with questions about how to do her job. As in, the coworker would ask questions about the coworker's job to my wife when it's not my wife's job. My wife had a completely different job.

They just worked in the same office. And so what my wife would do is just go to Google, type in the question verbatim, how do I do such and such, press enter and then look at the top result and say, have you tried this? And the coworker would be like, oh, I see, I'll go try that. So what I'm trying to say is,

coming into this job with zero experience might actually be more than what other people have, which appears to be negative experience, not even having experience of how to function as a human being in 2025, able to navigate Google and figure out basic problems? So you may actually be ahead of the curve here, OP. In fact, considering that OP is social, learns quickly, and is a great improviser, it seems

like OP is a perfect match for the job, actually. Our next Reddit post is from Radio Throwaway. My life will never be the same after this. We've been married for two weeks. My 27-year-old husband has been sleeping with my little sister behind my back. She's 17, legal age of consent, but she's still a baby. We just found out she's one month pregnant, but she refused to say who the father is. Yesterday, my parents asked me to come over. Apparently, they installed a monitoring app on her phone and that's how they found out

that my husband is the father. My sister is saying she's sorry over and over again. My husband also apologized, saying he made a mistake and wants us to go to counseling and stay married. I didn't say much. I told him I'm filing for divorce. I'm not changing my mind. I know for sure I'll never speak to him again after everything's over.

As for my sister, I don't know. I honestly don't know." Then one day later, OP posted an update. The day I posted, they took my sister to the police. She admitted that the relationship with my husband began when she was 15. She also said that things became physical when she was 16. They had exchanged inappropriate messages and images, and the content on her phone matched everything she told them. My soon-to-be ex knew that she was pregnant. He was arrested at his job

earlier today. Last night was the first time in a year that I went to bed and he wasn't there. It felt surreal. My dad, who's very religious, insists my sister keep the baby. My mom believes that my sister should have the choice to end the pregnancy. I've already contacted a lawyer for the annulment and emphasize that I want no more contact with my ex. There's nothing left to salvage. Even though my sister has apologized several times, she still believes she's in love with him. My family is planning to start family counseling soon. It'll be focused on figuring out how to move forward and what kind of relationship, if any, I want to have with my sister. There are no clear

answers right now. Double betrayal by your partner and by your own flesh and blood sister. I hope at minimum this guy ends up in prison for grooming a 16 year old. That was r slash off my chest and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.