rSlash - r/Offmychest I Was VIOLATED By a Waterslide

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:08 Waterslide 6:31 Nudes 9:36 Fake disorder 13:57 Lavender Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19 speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Welcome to R-slash off my chest, where OP gets violated by a water slide. Our next Reddit post is from Zalmoxas. So me and my friends panicked one day that it's almost the end of August and we haven't already been to an aqua park this summer.

Hell, not even the pool. So we decided to get tickets to this awesome aqua park in our city that's also had some new slides at it. One particular slide caught our attention. You go into this coffin-looking thingy uprights, cross your hands over your chest, and then a trap under your feet opens with a countdown, and you get ejected into the pits of hell, basically. This thing goes straight down,

like it just drops you from up in the air like a poop falling down into the toilet. This sounded insane at first, but we are insane, so it seemed like a great idea to just effing fall into the abyss, like a dead person in a coffin. Our type of fun. We get to the line. Mind you, this thing is so tall that we had to climb like five sets of stairs to get to it. I decide I'll go first. My heart is racing. I've been on messed up rides and done free-falling attractions before, but you know they hit different when you're in thongs with your cheeks pressed against the plastic tube of death and sorrow that the slide is, and you're waiting for a stranger to basically attempt murder on you.

Naked and afraid much. I get in. I joke about famous last words. The guy operating this insists that I cross my legs tightly. I thought it's just the procedure. Didn't think much about it. Crossed my arms and legs superficially. Then, the trap that was literally all that separated me from five stories of height collapses.

I had like three seconds of, oh man, I shouldn't have done that. Followed by Jesus Christ, how is this? I must have gotten scared at the sound of the trap opening and I uncrossed everything. Before I could even process it, I was alone in the dark, free falling with the meanest wedge I've ever received in my life. Remember that I was wearing a thong? The literal type of underwear that's supposed to give you wedgies like just by putting them on? Well, that was a choice for an aquapark. My effing thong slid through my bits and oh my God,

my butthole too. Don't ever underestimate physics when water is involved. My thong unironically went up to my bra. I'm surprised my thong even held on. After being power washed by pure gravity for a while, I finally started to tilt and slow down. I swear to God, this wasn't even fun. It was just pain. I reached the end, and to my horror, my whole bathing suit is out of place. I quickly get up to fix it, trying to ignore the pain of that satanic wedge as best I can. And then something slimy starts sliding down my legs. I checked if it was blood, but all was clear, so I figured I'm good. I was headed to the bathroom to see if that demonic wedgey gave me what felt like anal fissures, and the stuff kept coming out of me as I walked. My boyfriend joked that I pissed myself from terror. I get to the bathroom, sit down,

and have a couple of minutes of what I can only describe as the chlorinated, most forced double enema of my dreams leaking out. Just butt water all over the place. Slimy discharge water that leaked all over my legs. Great, I feel like my bowels have never been this clean. But at what cost? And oh, the pain. I can't explain to you how having your butthole forced open by angry water feels. I managed to empty out what felt like 10% of my body mass and got back to my boyfriend who was getting rather concerned that just a checkup was starting to last a bit too long.

I figured I would just accept that I was feeling very violated by a water slide for the rest of the day. My butt felt like it should have looked like those baboons butts. Fat, red, swollen butts. Hours pass and I get up from my sunbed. Imagine my horror as I stand up and see stains of pure butt and. and hoo-ha water casually staining the sun bit I was in. I figured I've really gotten to an age if I didn't manage to feel water leaking out of both my holes. I hope that at least now that it was over.

I don't know where the filthy pool water was hidden inside my body until then. The human body is truly a work of art. Oh, and my girlfriend had this happen too after that. Not both of her holes, bless her heart. I don't know what the lesson is here. Maybe cross your legs real tight when going down the plastic tube of hell, or you'll get the freshest pool water enema for free, don't wear thongs to an aqua park? You tell me. Then down in the comments, amazingly, we have a similar story from Bitsy Blackbird. Oh my God, you are not alone in this

shared experience. I was a teenager at the water park with my entire family. Mom, dad, brother, grandma, brother's girlfriend. I was the only one who went on the slide. so they're all spectating at the bottom for me. I stand up at the end to pick out the monster wedge and reorient myself, and I didn't realize the plastic clasp on the back of my bikini top had snapped. Suddenly, I'm topless in front of an entire crowd, burst into tears and go running for the bathroom, and accidentally ran into the men's restroom.

My mom came sprinting in right after me and threw a towel over me and led me out because I was out of it. absolutely beside myself. I legitimately haven't been to a water park since. That was enough. Okay, both of your stories trump mine, definitely. But when I was about, I don't know, 10 to 12, my mom took me and my little brother to Disney World in Florida. And my mom forgot where we parked our rental car. So when we were leaving around like 3 p.m., we just kind of wandered the parking lot for like, I don't know, two, three hours trying to remember where the hell mom parked this car. And I eventually got heat stroke and started puking my guts out all over the parking lots.

So yeah, Disney World was truly the most magical experience of my life. Our next Reddit post is from Throwaway So Confused, Bro. I'm a college girl, and I know this sounds odd, but sometimes I take kinky nudes to blow off steam, cope with stress, and express myself creatively. I never share them, but last summer, someone hacked my eyes. I-Cloud, stole my nudes and selfies, and then posted them to an adult website under a tag that signaled to the damn gooners that my picks were not consensually posted online. Exactly how they like it. I only found out because a few men used those pictures to blackmail me into sexual dom-slash-sub-relationships

with them, and they told me about it. I was so on top of things with damage control, I somehow managed to prevent anyone I knew from seeing them, got everything taken down, and even freed myself from the shackles of sextortion. But damn, that was traumatic. Unfortunately, they've reemerged a few times since then. The most recent time was last semester when somebody posted my nudes on the same site under the same tags, along with pictures of me from a private social media account that only people I know follow. I notified the police, and that was the only lead that we'd gotten for a while. Then, last night, I get a call from the police and they tell me that they're almost certain that the poster was my older sister's husband who posted my nudes online last time. They don't know if he was one of the people's sex-storting me was the one who hacked me in the first place,

or if he just saw them while gooning one day and decided to save the pictures and post them online, along with my Instagram photos months after I got them taken down. But at this point, anything's possible. Oh, also, my sister and him have a son together. I've known him for years, and he almost never looks at me or talks to me. He just ignores me, and I ignore him. That's it. I know he's cheated, but this is on another level. I'm so embarrassed that he's even seen my nudes, and I'm also so confused. I can't imagine why he would post them and with my name and face attached. Plus, I don't want my sister to end up as a single mom because of this. She's going to blame. me if she even breaks up with him. There's actually a good chance she won't, so I don't even know what kind of drama this is going to cause in my family if he does turn out to be the culprit. Do you guys think that I shouldn't press charges for the sake of my sister and her baby? And also, can anybody think of a reason as to why the F. He would want to do that to me? I can't wrap my hit around it. O.P., I can understand the desire to not want to ruin your sister's life,

but let's keep in mind, you're not the one ruining lives here. He is. is. So if the truth destroys his marriage, that's on him, man. Maybe he shouldn't post illegal revenge P-word content. Also, think about it. Would you want your sister to be married to someone who abuses women like this? She may not realize it at the time, but you'd be doing your sister a favor. And then on top of that, you just have a right to do it, man. This guy did something awful to you, so press charges and hopefully he goes to jail. Our next Reddit post is from Bong Pirates. I have a friend who most of the time is great to hang out with. Very funny and interesting.

But she also very clearly has a fake disorder, and I don't know how to deal with it without enabling her by pretending to go along with it, or making it clear that I don't believe her, which can cause people with a fake disorder to freak out and deliberately make themselves ill to prove that they were ill all along. How do I know that she has a fake disorder?

Well, her array of physical illnesses and mental disorders have a tendency to come and go. At one point, she had Tourette's, but she kept forgetting to have the ticks and quietly dropped it after a couple of weeks. She once showed me a Days of the Week pillbox full of her medications, and I could see that most, if not all of them, were just vitamin supplements. She claims to have disassociative identity disorder, but it's the Tumblr slash TikTok version of D-I-D where she's a system with altars who can pop out on command. For those of you who don't know, D-I-D is that disorder where you have like multiple personalities. One of the altars is a little Korean girl who only speaks Korean, but is limited to the... Sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh.

but is limited to the Korean phrases my friend mastered on Duolingo. I'm sorry. A Korean girl who only knows how to say, Anayasayan and Bulgogi. Her acting is, frankly, not great. At times when she claims she's been triggered and is having a panic attack, or claims that one of her alters is out, it's kind of like watching an overzealous theater kid in a bad high school play.

Her actual trigger is being bored and or people not paying enough attention to her. If we're in a group setting and everyone's focused on someone else, I can see her out of the corner of my eye getting increasingly agitated until she has a fainting fit. Or one of her altars announces their arrival. Anagaiso! I'm sorry, this is really cracking me up. Basically, the only Korean I know is Ana Yaseo because that's what Koreans say when you enter a Korean restaurant. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I should make fun of this. Okay.

Or she jumps in with the mention of her trauma and then stares off dramatically into the distance. Whenever a new person joins the group and she gets to tell them her list of disorders and illnesses and traumas, it's almost like watching an addict get a hit. The frustrating thing is that she's pretty cool and interesting without all of this, and most of the time she forget she's supposed to have all these conditions and is a chill person to hang out with. But then, out of nowhere, she'll get bored and decide it's time to bring out Darius, her gay male altar.

Then I have to sit around trying to keep a straight face while she does a bad impression of a gay man and expects me to play along. and will ramp things up if I try to ignore Darius. She's not a teenager, by the way. She's a fully grown, tax-paying adult woman in her late 20s, and so am I. I'm too old to be playing random games of let's pretend, and part of me wants to yell at her to cut it out. But I also understand that she really does have a mental disorder,

and that trying to confront her about it would only make it worse. Also, it's not my job to try and treat her condition, and I'm definitely not qualified to do so. I guess my only options are to continue putting up with it and trying to reward it with as little attention as possible. Or slowly fade out of the friendship. Both options suck, though. Down in the comments, people are pointing out that Munchausen's

is that disorder where you pretend to be sick to get people to pay attention to you. So ironically, if O.P. is right and all these illnesses are made up, then she actually does have a legitimate illness, Munchausen. So it's like some kind of weird catch-22 Shrodinger's cat, no matter how you look at it, she's still got a disorder type thing. Our next Reddit post is from Equivalent Rip. I love my wife, but we both know I'm a gay man. I came out to my wife when I was 17.

We grew up in a cult of religion, and being gay was never really an option. We got married young, and to be honest, I love her. Not like you should love your wife, but still I love her. Call her my best friend, call me weak or a coward, call me a liar or fake, it doesn't matter. I could never hurt her by telling her this, and I don't know where else to go. I can't, no, I won't leave her. She deserves the best life she believes she has. She's the most amazing person, supportive, loving, steadfast.

I can't describe the actual angel of a person she is to everyone around her. But I can't break myself of the want I feel deep. inside of me. Yeah, I told her I was gay when I was 17. We were deeply religious. We did the best we could with what we knew. We prayed, we fasted, we married. Now, 23 years, two kids, and countless adventures later, I'm broken. I love her. I cannot hurt her, but I want, need something to change. I don't know that I'd ever find a man who loves me, who would make me feel like the center of his world. Wrap me in his arms and make me feel loved. I'm not sure if it matters if I could. It might be worse to know that it could happen because it never will. I'm not suicidal in any way, but it would

be okay if I died. I think I'm ready. I'm not sure I can really do this much longer. That was our slash off my chest. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Going on vacation? We're here. We're here. We're here for it. With kids who turned the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and while watching the same cartoon for the

hundredth time is the human right? Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that because whether it's a road trip or a business trip, where your flights delayed, your phone's at 2% and your dinner is whatever is open. Yeah, here for that too. Enterprise, we're

here for it.