rSlash - r/Offmychest I'm Attracted to Godzilla

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Monster fiction 8:30 Breastfeeding 10:51 Saved 12:41 Christmas music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R slash Off My Chest, where O.P. is attracted to bugs. Our next Reddit posts is from the last question. Women have a monopoly on monster screwing fiction, and it pisses me off. It should be obvious from the title, but I'm a big fan of monster romance stuff, not even adult content necessarily. I just love stories where a man gets with a monster woman. So what's my problem? Picture this.

You discover that A.03 has a whole, lot of original work. I had to look this up. AO3 is Archive of our own, which is like a fan fiction posting website. So being the dedicated monster lover you are, you immediately filter for monster romance stuff. Guess what? It's all human woman, male monster stuff. Not what you're looking for, but not unexpected. This is A.03, which is not commonly used by straight men. So you filter for tags where the dude is the human. Guess what? It's all furry stuff.

Again, annoying because you're not into it. Maybe you like fur, but I don't, so bear with me. But again, it's expected. The furry community is large. So you filter out the furry tags and filter four monster-loving and a male reader. A grand total of 19 works out of 419,000 total original works. Sorting by kudos, the top work is not an original work. The second one is one where the reader is trans.

No issue with that. I'm just not trans myself. The third is an orc woman and male human reader. And the fourth is another trans male reader. The fifth is a fur monster. So now you're a little disappointed. But you know what? Google exists.

Quote, female monster, human monster manga. Most, if not all, of what you find is just a normal woman. with one or two small features that disqualify them from being human on a technicality. You read some of these manga for reasons unrelated to the monster aspect, and then remember what you came here to do. You go back to A.03 and try different combinations of tags. Eventually, you get some solid monster banging stories where the dude is human.

But another problem. Every one of these stories features a drawing of the monster woman, which reveals it to just be a human with like weirdly colored skin, and Rule 34 proportions. Some straight up used AI for these pictures. You get unaroused from how unrealistic these proportions are and begin to ponder your options. Out of desperation you type,

Best Monster Effer Stories for Men into Google. The top result is a post from a gay romance book subreddit. The next, a list of stories where the man is the monster and the woman is human. No amount of typed words will ever make you understand how much this pisses me off. Are there seriously no dudes out there with the ability to write

who occasionally get the urge to write about a malnourished skin and bone windigo banging a dude? A windigo with no comically large tits, mind you. You're telling me no straight dude other than me watched Godzilla 2014 saw the female muto and thought, I want to bang that.

I've actually got to look this up. I have no idea what that is. Editor, throw a picture of the female muto on screen. This is not sexy at all. I do not want to bang this. It looks like a combination of a shaved gorilla and a spider. I'm so pissed. I decided to start writing my own damn monster banging stories where a dude living in a house in the woods

bangs the cryptid raiding his end-of-the-world food supply in his basement as payment for his food that it eats. Can anyone tell me why I need to do that? this, why I need to see what I could have had every time someone mentions a popular male monster human woman romance book? Why does no one else want to bang actual monsters as a normal human man? Down in the comments. Someone asked, O.P., what kind of monsters he wants to read about? And I'm going to, um, carefully tread through his reply. Well, there's a few examples I could think of. The female muto from the 2014 Godzilla movie. It's the size.

of a building, but that's not the reason I like it. Kind of a downside, really. I just think it had ass, and I thought, yeah, I'd tap that. Also, there's a scene in that movie where one of the soldiers blows her eggs up, and she cries out and gets upset. Those random kinds of humanizing moments can make the monster hotter, since they feel less like an animal and more human. I'm attracted to monsters physically. Banging a mindless animal is a no-go. Also, the xenomorphs. This thought was spurred on by the xenomorph queen in aliens. Not sure why. I like the...

I genuinely can't tell if this guy's 100% serious or if he's just troll posting for the humor. I'm not sure why, but I like the slimy no-eyes look. I should say, I wouldn't bang a normal xenomorph, just the queen. A major selling point is the no-eyes thing. I don't know why, but I think it's incredibly hot. Also, not technically a monster, but I think Gladys from Portal is hot.

Obviously, her voice is hot, but like, I also like her actual hanging from the ceiling robot body. If you look up Mahito True Form, I saw someone draw basically that with boobs one time. Again, the no eyes. I read a story where a dude gets stranded on a spaceship with a bugwoman. Most of the appeal for that came from her internal dialogues about the differences in human culture and hers,

as well as her biological differences. There was a scene where she watches him shower and remarks on how soft humans are. And how strange, and on how strange unexposed Johnson is. I don't know why, but hearing that clinical, science-like breakdown was kind of hot. In another scene, she remarks on how strange it is that humans rely on friction and emotional context for that act, rather than whatever her species do. Also, later, she gets made fun up for her fetishistic tendency. regarding studying humans, which kind of got me going since it's hot to know she's weirdly

obsessed with humans. The one downside that story had was that the bug people were red, yellow, and brown. It would have been better if they had carapaces with a darker color scheme, like black and purple, or something like that. A darker color is better in general for most monsters. That answer your question? Well, O.P., I'm glad you decided to write it yourself. That would have been my first suggestion. After all, be the change you want to see in the world. of that, I have to wonder, could you do some creative, uh, replacement text? If you find a story you love, but the genders are not the way you want it, you could probably copy and paste the entire text into a Google document and then do control F for female pronouns like sure, like she,

and replace them, all of them with he and, you know, replace all the hymns with hers and basically gender swap all the characters in the story. That might help O.P. Not that I have experience with this, but I was a professional writer and editor for a while for a big company, so that's how I would probably solve this problem. Do I dare go into this guy's posting history? Hmm, nothing really interesting is sticking out to me. He plays Dark Souls, he plays Dark Souls and Eldon Ring, possibly because he's turned on by all the monsters in there, and not because he actually wants to beat the game. Maybe he wants to beat something else. Oh man, I don't like Eldon Ring or the Dark Souls.

What's the name of the final boss of that game? The chick with the red hair. Melania. Blade of McQuelia? I don't know this game, man. The Scarlet Goddess. Yeah, Opea. I know what you're doing while you're playing that game.

You purve. Just for context, those who have never played Dark Souls games, all the monsters in that game are like weird, tentacle, dragon. undid abominations with like lion heads and tentacle faces and you get the idea. Our next Reddit post is from deleted. I just caught my boyfriend's stepmom

breastfeeding her eight-year-old. This happened a week ago and it's still making me sick. At our joint family thanksgivings, I was sitting with my boyfriend, his dad, my dad, his stepmom, and her eight-year-old daughter. The daughter starts to complain to her mom that she's hungry so I offered to take her to the kitchen to make a plate, since I was going in there anyway to refill my drink.

The daughter started yelling and said, No, I want mommies! So I thought she meant the dish that her mom brought, so I said, Lila, we can go get some on a plate, then bring it back here so you can eat it with your mommy. She's very attached to her mom. Then the stepmom sighs, then takes her into the guest room, which I assume is to correct her behavior for yelling.

I get a plate of the casserole her mom brought and go to take it to the guest room where the stepmom and daughter are and knock. The stepmom said, come in. So I did and saw her fully breastfeeding her daughter like she was a baby. Like holding her in her lap and saying things like, good, good, is it yummy? I out loud go, what the fuck? And so my boyfriend comes over and has the same reaction. I just shut the door trying not to be sick because there is no way.

the stepmom is lactating, because she told us before she couldn't even breastfeed when she had either of her daughters, so this whole thing just makes me sick. I always noticed that she babyed the eight-year-old, but I never would have thought that she would go this far. My boyfriend and I immediately said that we're cutting the night short and politely asked everyone to leave. So everyone leaves, and the stepmom pulls me aside before she leaves with my boyfriend's dad and other daughter and said, You have no right to judge me. She was hungry. Thinking about this still makes me nauseous and shake. My boyfriend was equally disgusted and decided to go low contact with him after this incident.

He made the call that they're not allowed back in our home. I'm literally shaking as I write this, but still because it was so disturbing and gross. Huh? Wait, hold on, I'm confused. If she wasn't lactating, what was the daughter doing? Just sucking for the sake of sucking? Ugh, people in the comments are calling the stepmom a living pacifier. Our next Reddit post is from Inhuman Persona. When I was a teenager, my senior year in high school, I was really going through an emo phase

and had joined a bunch of pop punk fan pages on Facebook. I was 16 or 17 at the time, but I made some really awesome friends in some of those communities, some of whom I still talked to to this day. One of the girls in the chats that I would talk in was much younger. I don't remember how old, but she was below the age of 15. She was telling me in one of her best friends that her depression was winning, and she was planning on jumping off a bridge that day. She was saying her goodbyes.

Now, I didn't know really anything tangible about this girl. And I'm a significantly older stranger on the internet, who doesn't live anywhere close by to stop her. So while her friend is freaking out, I swallowed my discomfort and started reaching out to everyone on her page listed as family. Eventually, someone, whom I believe was her aunt, responded. I told her everything, providing screenshots of her messages. The aunt then reached out to her parents, and then radio silence.

Her aunt told me that the girl thanked me for getting her help, but she lost her privileges to the internet, and I'm not allowed to contact her from there on out. I was devastated, hoping she didn't hate me for going that far to help her, and I just spent years wishing her the best of luck in the back of my mind. About five years ago, we reconnected. She's a college graduate and is a psychologist now. We talked for a bit, shared the bullet point life experiences, but otherwise haven't spoken much since then.

Well, today, a collage of pictures came across my dashboard. She just got married. I'm honestly so proud of her, overcoming her demons and finding happiness in a world that left us both fighting for our lives against demons at such young ages. I hope she continues living her best life. Our next Reddit post is from DeMorelli. I worked in a very tiny office. There's only four of us in an open floor plan space the size of a bedroom. There's a glass wall separating us, two and two.

But it purposefully doesn't provide much coverage so that we can collaborate or whatever. All of my coworkers are over the age of 65. I'm 35, but the others are like 65, 66, and 75. The 75-year-old man started playing Christmas music from the 1930s from his computer. Loud. I mean, pretty loud. Not like nightclub loud, but I was struggling on phone calls and really to hear myself think. And he played it all day long, 9 a.m. through when we left at 4. No breaks.

I think my other coworkers enjoy the music, which is why it wasn't a problem for them. But when you're forced to listen to loud music you don't like, it gets really grating. Especially when you have to actually get work done. And especially when it's endless, Moreau's Christmas, crooning, echoing through a tiny office for hours. This man was acting like he was doing us a favor for office morale playing the music. I'm not sure how the others were making phone calls. They're hard of hearing to begin with. So it all blew up when I asked my boss if he could either ask my coworker to wear headphones or just turn it off. This was on day one. He said yes, but ignored me. Now, day two rolls around and my coworker turns on the music, at 9 a.m. louder than yesterday. I was a little more upset, but not acting unreasonably yet. I asked my boss again to fix the issue. He agreed again and proceeded to ignore me. So I had to do it myself, which I didn't want to do because the man is old and not nice. So I asked the man if we

could please wear headphones for music and that I'm finding the music distracting. Polite, reasonable. He said no. Thus began my crash out. At this point, I'm furious. The crooning is still going. I'm still struggling on the phone and my boss watches in silence as the man says no to stopping the music. My co-worker shuts the door between us and it muffles it a bit, but it doesn't fix it. So when my boss opens the door to ask me if that helped the problem and by opening the door floods my office again, with full-volume ancient Christmas music, I blew my top and yelled, No! My boss phrased the question like, I'm the source of the problem.

Like, hey, did that minor but unacceptable tweak fix your problem with your co-workers' noise? After that, I left the building, and now I'm unemployed from a job that I was at for three years. And I feel ridiculous and stupid that it all happened over Christmas music. But it's hard to explain just how much. the constant, horrible noise was grating on my ability to exist and work, and how badly it got me to the end of my rope to lose my cool. I would have been reasonable. Like, maybe if it had been played during Christmas lunch or something.

But I'm just so confused how anyone thought that it was okay to operate an office like that. Anyways, cross your fingers with my unemployment appeal. O.P., what you should have done is blast even louder, techno, or any kind of, you know, new age. I say New Age, but New Age is a genre of music, isn't it? Any modern music, any modern music out of your computer. And I'm quite confident those old farts would have changed their tune immediately. That was R-slash off my chest. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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