rSlash - r/Offmychest I'm Being Paid to Babysit a Creepy Doll

Episode Date: February 6, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:08 Secret wife 2:21 Cops 8:04 Resurrection 9:41 Babysitting 12:00 Dog training 14:02 Sister fight Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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please go to conicsontario.ca. Welcome to R slash true off my chest, where O.P. is cheating on his wife with his wife. Our next Reddit posts is from Throwaway Bad Blackmail. So my wife is incredible, amazing, brilliant, and the love of my life. We're both 33, and we own a company together that does financial stuff, and it's been very successful. We aren't publicly in a relationship. We don't talk about our marriage, or have public social media where it discloses our relationship. All this to say, to the public eye, my wife and I are both.

business partners, unmarried, and with her own separate marriages. My wife goes by her middle name and maiden name for work, and by her legal name when dealing in personal matters. We'll say her name is Jane Mary Doe, knee fish. She goes by Jane Doe when not at work, and Mary Fish at work. Now, full disclosure, I did not cheat on my wife. We were at a work function, and me and my wife kissed briefly when arriving in the car, and apparently someone saw it. I woke up this morning to an email address to me saying that if I don't want my wife, Jane Doe, finding out that I'm cheating on her with my business partner, Mary Fish, then I have to pay them off with an amount of money that I won't be listing here, but it's quite a sum. They included photos of me and Mary together, and then,

and this is the best part, they sent a link to my wife's Facebook page where she notoriously doesn't post her own face anywhere. Maybe the title should have been, I'm being blackmailed for cheating on my wife with my wife. I'm both amused and horrified. Thanks for listening, Reddit. My wife hasn't stopped laughing to commiserate with me yet, and I needed an ear. Had to get this out. I hope to hell that O.P. Post an update to this one because it's rare that we get a 100% original story on here, but down in the comments, someone has gone through a somewhat similar scenario. Man Bear Pig says, says, I had a similar thing happen. I normally have a huge bushy beard, like down my chest. I shaved a few years back and got a message from an ex-co-worker and somewhat of a friend, saying he saw my wife

out to dinner with another guy. I initially panicked for a minute. He then named the business and the day. It was me. The guy had never seen me clean-shaven, ever. It made for a good laugh. Our next Reddit post is from Gold Glitter Gardens. My neighbor called the cops on me last night, and now he's dead. This felt like an insane 20 hours. I've lived alone in the same apartment for four years now. It's a smaller, quiet, and diverse complex. Lots of families and young professionals, but I don't really know any of my neighbors. I can recognize one or two that I'll pass on the stairs and I'll smile or nod, but that's about it. Last night, around 9.50 p.m., I get a loud knock on my door. This is odd, considering you have to have building access downstairs before

even making it to individual apartments. I look out the peephole and it's blocked by my Christmas wreath, so I decide to take a chance and open. It's a cop with a bulletproof vest that says sheriff, and I'm very confused and frankly scared. He asks quietly if I know the guy next door. Huh? The neighbor on my right? Never met the guy. All I know is that he keeps his work boots in front of his door. I frankly couldn't tell you anyone who lives on this hall. According to the cop, my neighbor called them because he's accusing me of hacking into his phone. What the F? My face must have said it all because the cop assured me they're asking me as a formality. They believed this guy to be having a mental health situation. I've never interacted with him and this is some extreme paranoid behavior.

The cop apologized and left. I locked my door and called my friend for support. She told me to take the wreath down and get my pepper spray out. Done. I try to calm down and start my bedtime routine when I hear something at my front door. I hear it a second time. It sounds like a timid knock. Thank God I removed the wreath so I can now look through the peephole. It's a strange man knocking at my door. I've never seen this man, but I can only assume he's the next door neighbor. He just stood and stared, expressionless, arms behind his back for a few minutes, waiting. All the blood must have drained from my face. I literally stopped breathing from fear. I backed away from the door and tried to be as quiet as possible.

I paced a bit unsure of what to do. Ultimately, I called my friend quietly and asked if I could spend the night. I said I was really scared and feel beyond unsafe. She said that she would stay on the phone until I was at my car. I threw my laptop, phone charger, and wallet in a bag. Check the peephole, the coast was clear. Pepper spray in one hand, keys in the other. I ran out into the hall, locked the door, and made it down three flights of stairs in no time.

No one followed me. At 10.15 p.m., I was in my locked car, crying, failing to suppress a panic attack. Why did this feel like the start of a Dateline episode? But I had to get it together to drive. And I decided to call the cops. If they knew this guy was having some sort of episode, maybe he still was. Or maybe he came by because he wanted to apologize, but I wasn't about to find out. The dispatcher got my info, but I made it clear that I was no longer on the premises. He said, someone would be calling me later. 11.50 p.m., I'm in my friend's spare room, and a call comes in from one of the cops who handled the earlier incident. She asked if I was okay, and if anything had escalated. I said he came by my door and knocked. It freaked me out so much I left the building.

She said they suspected he was having a mental break of some sort, but he didn't give them enough evidence for them to actually take him away. I guess there's a magic phrase to get someone involuntarily committed. She confirmed that he called them, specifically about his neighbor trying to hack into his phone. I reiterate that I've never met this guy. It's a thousand percent out of the blue, but I don't want to be a part of his delusions and that this whole thing really scared me.

I let them know that I'd be going to the leasing office to discuss the situation with them tomorrow, which is today. And she gave me a number to call if anything else happens. At 10.45 a.m. today, I go back to my complex, and I ask the director of the community if this person has ever made any complaints about me. If this is coming from somewhere, I'd like to fix it. But I'm also confused and feeling unsafe at this point. The guy said that my neighbor never complained,

but if he had, they would have let me know. He said they would have let me move into another unit without transfer fees if I wanted. I said I would sit on that, but he offered to call the guy and feel out the situation. Maybe he was super embarrassed and remorseful. Maybe he'd blow it off. Or worst case, maybe I was still on his hit list.

In that case, I'm definitely moving. The guy said that he would call me with an update later. At 355 p.m., the apartment complex director called me and said, Well, I don't really know how to say this, but in regard to the situation we spoke about earlier, the man passed away this morning. He said it wasn't in the apartment or anywhere near the premises. He didn't say what happened or how he found out about it.

I assume it was suicide or adjacent. And I assumed that he was informed by law enforcement. But basically, I don't have to worry about any more erratic behavior. It's been an insane less than 24 hours. I felt like I was simultaneously making a huge deal out of nothing, but also, this is the stuff that needs to be documented in case it's escalated. What the literal F! This doesn't feel real at all. I hope he's at peace. I hope no one else got hurt.

And thank God I removed that wreath from the door. O.P., you and your friend have great survival instincts. This isn't one of those, Hey, let's all split up and investigate type scenarios. O'B.'s like, I'm out of here. It's impossible to say what would have happened if you open the door.

Luckily, we'll never have to find out. Our next Reddit post is from Magic Haley. I'm a 20-year-old woman, and I had to resurrect a dead guy while I was hammered. This happened a few weeks ago, and I'm not over it yet. So I was home, and it was midnight.

I'd had two bottles of Ocean's White Wine, and I was waiting on a friend to come pick me up. Out of nowhere, some girl started screaming, Call 911, my friend overdosed. So I grabbed my phone and stumbled to the hallway to see what was happening. And then in another guy's apartment, there was this boy, Nemo. I knew the guy too. He was purple, dead on the floor.

And there were two girls crying and they didn't know what to do. Again, I was hammered. Wine hits different than other liquor for me. I calmly gave my phone to a girl and told, her to call 911, and I got on my knees and started compressions and mouth to mouth. For two minutes, I kept going and didn't cry and I didn't freak out. It's like even the alcohol wore off for the time being. After two minutes of giving compressions to his purple corpse, he started to wheeze. So I got a pillow under his head and talked to the EMT. They kept telling me that if I hadn't been there,

he would have died. As soon as I got into my friend's car, I just broke down and started crying. I I learned CPR in grade 10, and I never, ever thought that I'd have to do it. It still scares the bejesus out of me, and honestly, I don't know how I did what I did. O.P., you said it scared you. Well, that's why they call it liquid courage. You might have actually not had the courage to do that if you had been sober. Who knows? We'll never know, really.

Anyways, good job, O.P. Our next Reddit posts is from Wrong Improvement. Should I continue babysitting for a lady whose baby is a doll? I'm a 19-year-old woman, and I posted an advertisement that I babysit. A lady from the area responded saying that she has an 11-month-old baby boy, Toby. I told her it'll be 13 pounds an hour, and she said that's fine. She'll be gone for three hours. When I turned up, she greeted me while holding what looks like a baby. She handed it to me saying, this is Toby.

I then realized it was a doll. I wasn't sure if maybe she had given me the doll to give to Toby, or if she actually wanted me to babysit the doll, so I asked, are there any other children in the house? That way, if I'd misunderstood her, I could pass it off as joking about it, but I wouldn't upset her if she really did think the doll was a baby. She said, no, just Toby. She made me aware there's baby monitors around just so she can have peace of mind that he's okay. I said, of course, and she kissed the doll on the head before leaving. I basically just play pretended the doll was real. Hugging it, I put it on a bouncer she I let it sleep in the crib. I went to the toilet at one point, and on the wall, there was a picture

of a real baby that looked similar to the doll. So I'm assuming this is her way of grieving. I cried a bit in the bathroom with this realization, but I put on a happy face when I went downstairs and continued looking after the baby, changing its nappy, so if she was watching, she could have peace of mind. Once she came back, she asked how the baby was. I told her he was so well-behaved. I said that because he was more well-behaved than most babies, I'll only charge her for one hour. She messaged me again asking if I could babysit another time. I haven't responded yet. My friends don't think I should because it's taking advantage of her when she's clearly mentally ill. I wouldn't want to take advantage of her. It's a really sad situation. They also think I should tell her

that it's just a doll, but I don't know if I should do that. I don't know if that's the best way to go about the situation, I think it's not really my place. Honestly, O.P., I don't see it's a big deal. I mean, of all the weird things that people spend money on, paying a babysitter to babysit a doll isn't that bad. So as long as you think that you're safe around this lady, I don't really see the big deal. Our next Reddit post is from Cooper Door. I spent eight months training my dog to bark at my mother-in-law's perfume, and I don't feel bad about it. Okay, so I have a four-year-old corgi named Potato. Love of my life. I die for him. He's pretty chill with most people, not a barker usually. My mother-in-law is a lot.

Like, a lot. She comes over unannounced, criticizes everything, rearranges my kitchen when I'm not looking. She once told me that my pot roast was brave, which I'm still not over. She wears the same perfume every single day, some Chanel thing. You can smell her coming from like 10 feet away. About a year ago, I had this idea. Took me eight months, but I did it. Every time I sprayed that perfume, I'm sorry. I bought my own bottle, it's 150 bucks, which felt insane, but worth it. I would get potatoes slightly riled up, just enough. Played with him aggressively, made exciting noises, then sprayed.

Eventually, he just associated the smell with, Time to go crazy! Now, every time she walks in, he loses his mind. Barking, spinning, won't calm down until she leaves or goes outside. I act so confused. He's never like this. I don't know what's gotten into him. My wife thinks that potato just doesn't like her energy.

My mother-in-law told my wife that she thinks the dog senses something darken her. And honestly, that sent me. She started coming over less often. Says the dog makes her anxious. She went to see her priest about it, apparently. Asked if animals can sense evil spirits. I nearly threw up trying not to laugh when my wife told me. Anyway, potato gets extra treats tonight.

He's earned them. Best 150 bucks I ever spent. Our next Reddit post is from Glittering Relief. I just beat the stuffing out of my twin sister. She lives with me and my husband. She's a freeloader full stop. She doesn't cook, clean, or contribute. monetarily. She talks to me like she wants and she acts the way she wants. She also has three kids

she only sees on Saturdays for four hours. Over the last six years, this has been going on long enough. Last night, she got mad about me not answering a stupid question, which I did answer, but she didn't like the answer. And she crushed all my cigars. Totally unnecessary. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. So when she came to borrow my car this moment, morning, I said no. I'm tired of being disrespected in my house by a person who pays no bills and does almost nothing. She kept trying to strong arm me and I eventually pushed her out of my room. I locked the door, but she got a butter knife and opened the door five effing times trying to get the car keys. We tussled and eventually started swinging. She weighs like 40 pounds less

in me because she doesn't work out, and I effed her up. She immediately got on the phone and told everyone I did it for no reason afterwards. I had every reason. My husband is out of town till Tuesday, but we're kicking her out ASAP. I'm done helping her get her life together. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. That was R slash off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.