rSlash - r/Offmychest I've Compiled Extensive Butthole Data

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:10 Stoned 3:47 Lost finger 6:45 Imploded 10:04 Accident 12:45 Bottom gender comparison Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R slash Off My Chest, where OP provides fascinating firsthand research on the nature of buttholes. Our next Reddit post is from Isn't This Crazy. My best friend wants me to meet her boyfriend, but he thinks I deserve to die. I'm a 39-year-old guy, and I've been best friends with this girl who's 38 for about 24 years. Her parents are basically my second set of parents. A few months ago, she met her boyfriend who's 29 on TikTok, so she's nine years older than him. They started a long-distance relationship between back-and-forth visits. She flew up to him some weekends, he flew down to hers others.

After a few months, he arranged a job transfer and moved, not just to her town, but straight into her house. Before the move, there were already red flags. On his first visit, he had her install a tracking app to follow. his flight. Later, he used it to monitor her every move. She told me how he scolded her for staying out late with friends on a Friday night. Then, the following evening, he suddenly announced it was his turn to go out, despite never mentioning any weekend plans before. That night, he ignored her calls and texts completely. It was only when she messaged something like, enjoy your evening out, that he suddenly started talking again. Turns out, he hadn't even gone out. He didn't even gone out.

just wanted to punish her. That was just one example among several red flags. I could have sucked it up and ignored those red flags for her sake if she wanted it to, had it not been for one red flag that directly affected me. For context, I'm gay. Not by, not on a spectrum, just gay. A few months before her boyfriend moved in, my friend casually mentioned his homophobic views. He was involved with the Freemasons. Another friend told her that. they were devil worshippers, so she asked him to quit. His response, if he left, then they should live according to the Bible, which meant she could no longer be friends with me because the Bible says gay people should be stoned to death. I immediately told her, don't ever expect me to be friends

with someone who openly wishes me dead. She basically ignored that. Later, after he moved in, she excitedly said that she couldn't wait for me to meet him and join them for weekends at her parents beach house, which is something we used to do often. I reminded her of his homophobia and said there would be no weekends away with all of us together. That's when she started making excuses, that I misunderstood him, that he didn't mean it like that, that he hadn't specifically said that I should be stoned, just gays in general, even though he knew full well that I'm gay, that he just sees it how the Holy Father sees it, which struck me because she's never used the word father in a religious sense before. None of these excuses changed the fact that he openly wished me

did. I'm generally thick-skinned, but I don't waste my energy on homophobic idiots. Spending time with him would be deeply uncomfortable and awkward. I don't want to sit across from someone who thinks I deserve to be killed, pretending everything is fine. That's not just unpleasant, it's potentially unsafe. So, why should I spend my time with someone like that? My friend thinks that I'm wrong for refusing to meet Am I wrong for refusing to meet him? Honestly, O.P., I don't think you're angry enough. Most of your frustration seems to be focused on the homophobic guy. But what about your friend? Your friend has no issue dating someone who thinks that her best friend should be stoned to death. I don't think that I could be friends with someone who associates with people who believe that I should die.

How could I respect that friend? Our next Reddit post is from Swimming Brain. Yesterday, I had a noon nail appointment with a new nail tech. My sister is a fourth year nursing student, and she asks if my husband and I could drop her off at school before 1 p.m. Because she needed to catch a shuttle. We left around 1215, but we got lost looking for my nail tech's place. By around 1240, we finally found the way to her house, but the road was so bad. It was this narrow path in between rice fields with an irrigation ditch in the middle.

And because of a storm, it was really difficult to pass. My husband dropped me off at the nail tech's house first. We thought that it was only a two-minute walk from where he stopped, but it was actually around 10 minutes. When my husband went back to my sisters, she was already gone. She had called her boyfriend to pick her up instead, and they left on his motorcycle. I was already getting my nails done when, around an hour later, my husband called me and said my sister had called him because her boyfriend got into an accident after dropping her off. I was panicking because I didn't know how bad it was. Then my husband told me that my brother-in-law lost his ring finger.

My husband was actually holding my brother-in-law's finger, hoping they could still reattach it. But unfortunately, the injury was too bad, and they couldn't. He also had some other minor injuries. When we went home to my parents' house, I cried so badly. Everyone was freaking out, too. And I can't stop thinking about how my husband kept telling me that we should just bring my sister to school first before I went to my appointment. He told me multiple times.

Her shuttle was leaving exactly at 1 p.m. And I still chose to go to my nail appointment first. Now I keep thinking, what if I just listened to my husband? What if we brought her first? Maybe her boyfriend wouldn't have had to pick her up. Maybe this wouldn't have happened. I know I couldn't have known this was going to happen. I know the accident wasn't my fault, but I still feel so guilty.

Her boyfriend has been with my sister for seven years, and he's genuinely such a nice and respectful guy to our family. He's going through a lot right now with his family, and he's also a fourth year criminology student. He really wants to graduate and hopefully get into the Trib Bureau. I'm so scared this is going to affect his future. I know that losing a finger doesn't automatically mean his dreams are over, but I can't help worrying about him.

Looking at my sister and her boyfriend now just breaks my heart. I keep thinking about how I was getting my nails done while all of this was happening. I just really pray he gets better and that this won't take away the future he's worked so hard for. I don't even know what I'm looking for posting this. I think I just needed somewhere to let this out because I feel so guilty.

Guys, I am so, so sorry for this joke I'm about to make, but I was trying to think about what to say for this post and as soon as this joke entered my mind, I can't think about anything else. So I apologize in advance. O.P., if your brother-in-law went with you to your next nail appointment, You think he could get a 10% discount? Our next Reddit post is from Bipper Sloth.

I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I've been with my now-ex partner, a 33-year-old guy for 11 years. We live together, have a pet, are engaged, and have holidays booked. Wednesday morning, there is a knock on the door, and it's plain-closed police officers looking for him. Half of them go to arrest him at work, the others come in and call for more detectives. They ask if his job allows him to deal with people. under the age of 18 and I feel like I've been punched in the gut. They take away all of his electronic devices and search mine. They search every part of our home for hidden devices, hard drives, etc. They search and search through the kitchen cupboards under the sofa for hours.

The man I loved was talking online about the worst things involving children. He has nieces and nephews. We had a future planned. I keep throwing up. He got bailed out and he still won't tell me what he's done. The warrant said enough for me to know that I was through with him, but he was too much of a coward to tell me. The detective said that it had been going on for years. Everything is tainted. All of our good memories. I'm now wondering what he was doing on his phone, or who he was talking to, or looking at. I don't know how I'm supposed to even start to rebuild my life. I've taken the pets and gone to stay with a friend. I'm looking for somewhere else. I'm to live, but I don't know what'll happen if he doesn't agree to end the current tenancy agreement.

I want to rip my skin off. The fact that he was doing those things and having those feelings and then coming to bed with me. I've barely slept or eaten since. I just can't think about anything else or how I'm supposed to go on. Then OP posted an update. I went back to the flat to pack a bag, and he was waiting for an ambulance as he felt suicidal. Things escalated, and and he now will have a common assault charge against me added to the investigation. I've been advised to remain away as long as possible and potentially move into a women's refuge for my safety. Through a long discussion with some specialist police officers, it was an abusive relationship that I wasn't able to see as such,

and they will now be investigating him for domestic abuse and sexual assault of me. My friends have been fantastic, and I feel incredibly supported, but I'm also really struggling to see a way forward for me. He's a monster. I had no idea. Thank you for all your kind comments. I know none of this is my fault logically, emotionally is another matter. But I'm safe and he doesn't know where I am. Interesting tip I hear in the comments.

Apparently, if you take the paperwork of, you know, cops raiding your place and, you know, giving you a warrant and official charges being filed, you can take that paperwork to your landlord and probably, get out of your lease. Also, I hope OP isn't too harsh on herself. She kind of reminds me of those situations where, you know, a wife has been married to a serial killer and she doesn't even know the guy's going out and committing murders whenever he goes on, I don't know, business trips or whatever. It is possible for some people to just act totally normal in the home and then go out and do atrocious things when they're alone. Our next Reddit post is from historical soup.

Long story short, my boyfriend did a very stupid thing while driving. That landed both of us in a pretty gnarly accident. He ended up with a few scratches, but I got it worse. The worst thing is my shattered wrist. My fingers are working perfectly fine, but for now, I have almost zero strength in my right hand. I just finished school not long ago and got my dream job that I've worked in for just a few months before having to take indefinite medical leave. I'll obviously recover one day, but nobody's able to tell me exactly when that'll be. Which drives me crazy because it feels like it'll somehow slip away from me in that time. Everything is so much more difficult for me.

I can't do anything with my right hand. Can't write, drive, use utensils, or even tie my own shoelaces. It's all just so humiliating and exhausting. I was in a pretty good spot before all that, more or less satisfied with my life. Now, all I feel is anger and resentment, especially towards my boyfriend. Whenever I see him, I want to scoff. He's helping me every day, but honestly, it just makes me remember that I wouldn't even need this much help if it wasn't for him. A few days ago, he had a panic attack at work, and I didn't feel sorry for him.

Honestly, I felt satisfied that finally something got him too, that he got some consequences too. All those hateful and angry thoughts make me hate myself too, because that's truly not the kind of person I want to be. But somehow they simultaneously bring me a sick sense of peace. I'm afraid that this is just who I am now, and I'm not sure if there's a way out of this hole. Also in the comments, O.P. explained what happened with the car wreck. It actually wasn't too dramatic. He got distracted by something, so when the car in front of us almost stopped, he reacted too late, panicked and yanked the wheel, making the car kind of hit into the pole on my side. When I asked him what distracted him, he said, I was just thinking of something, I don't remember.

And I think that's one of the things that gets me so mad. I don't know, O.P., I feel like you're kind of downplaying it here, because not paying attention to the road and then driving into a pole is pretty dramatic, in my opinion. O.P., I definitely think you need therapy, and you may also need to break up with this guy, because if you resent him, there's no coming back for this relationship. Okay, this next post, all right, this next post, I should warn you, It's a little bit dirty, it's quite a bit dirty, actually. It's about butthole.

It's an entire post about buttholes, but it's so funny I got to read it anyways. So you've been warned. Hello, I'm a bi-male from the UK. In the past few years, I've been with around 60 partners of both genders, mostly in their 20s and 30s. Interestingly, this is what I found out after doing the deed with the backside many times. It's that ladies' bottoms, especially around the butthole area and perennium, are generally in a much, much cleaner condition than men's even after showering. Among male partners, I find the spectrum of messy was like 20% versus 50% versus 20%. So about half of my partners were looking all right with slightly smelly butholes and occasionally nasty hairs or tiny traces on their bottoms.

The best 20% were the ones who douched before we met up. And the worst were the ones with horrible scents coming from their poophole, a sour perinium, and dirty hemorrhoids asking for oral. In comparison, most of my lady's buttholes, like 80%, were noticeably less smelly and appeared more hygienic, without any traces around the opening. And to my surprise, some were even scentless. With some female partners in Foreplay or Doggy, with permission, I sometimes also like to rub a wet finger or two in their butthole,

and the finger would pull out almost spotless with barely any smell. I even stuck the finger in entirely at times. The same thing happened with doing it in the back door as well, and an interesting mystery was that some women had clean bottoms, even though they never douched at all. I sometimes tried to figure out why, but it's complicated. Like, my partners took a shower and they didn't stink when we met, it was only their buttholes where I noticed the stark difference. Guys, we're getting real, real boots on the ground research here.

Down in the comments, we're getting lots of speculation as to what could be the cause of this. Some people speculate, perhaps it's diet. Another person says, it's scientifically proven that women wash their buttholes more than men do. Perhaps it's bidetes, maybe women buy. bidays more than men do. Hmm, this person speculates perhaps it's because women don't poop at all. Interesting, interesting. Someone else says, we need to get this on Mythbusters. That was our slash off my chest. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast

episodes every single day.