rSlash - r/Offmychest My Wife is an Insane Stalker

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

0:00 Intro 1:13 Lots of nudity 4:21 Cheater phone 9:01 Secret account 13:39 Do not smoke Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. Welcome to r slash off my chest where OP has seen over 50,000 naked men. Our next reddit post is from Fantastic Son. I've seen over 50,000 naked men in an 11 year period. For context, I worked as a prison correctional officer. Specifically, I worked an intake in the classification center for my state's department of justice.

Everyone found guilty of a felony goes to the Classification Center. Every inmate that comes through gets chemical delousing. I was the officer doing that. When I started, the very first inmate I encountered had a prison ID number of 141,000. The last prison ID number I encountered was 211,000. So I whipped out the calculator to the exact math on the precise numbers OP listed and it comes out to 70,447 inmates. OP continues, I've seen every dick size shape and color imaginable. There's an effing IMDB of dicks seared into my memory.

I've seen a morbidly obese dude in a wheelchair with a legit any. It was sunk into the pubic fat around it. I saw four, four bifurcated wings. Google that at your own risk. Guys, I looked it up so that you don't have to and this is a rare condition that causes a man to grow two things. So when he says four bifurcated wings, I don't know if he means four men with eight wings or two men with four wings.

OP continues, do you know what a dick with a full Jacob's Ladder, Prince Albert and more looks like without the jewelry? I do and I did not like that. It legit makes me squirm. I saw a few cases of genital mutilation, some that happened as a child, and for those I'm so sorry and I hope you understand. Yeah, I had to watch and yeah, your feelings are justified. One person I saw three times and I remember all of them clearly because it was the single largest flaccid dong I have ever seen.

And each time it had even more tattoos on it. It was easily over 12 inches. If he wasn't perpetually incarcerated, he should have gone into adult videos. What did I learn from all this? If you think you have a small thing, you don't. If you think you have a small thing, you don't. If you think you have a big thing, you don't. You think yours looks weird, it doesn't. But if it curves too much,

you might wanna get that checked out. All right, hold on, I gotta do the math, you guys. How many work days in a year? 250 working days. 250 times 11 years equals 2,750. So if we divide 70,000 wings by 2,750 days, we get 25 dicks per day. 25 and a half to be precise. So if we assume standard eight hour working days, then this guy saw just over three dicks

per hour or approximately 1 dick every 20 minutes. I don't know what to say OP. That's a lot of dicks. Sounds like a hard job. Our next Reddit post is from ApprehensivePay. I found a second phone that my husband used to cheat on me with and now he's panicking. I found the phone 3 months ago.

The way I found out that he was cheating was by accident. I had recently gotten a new phone because I dropped my old phone, and the screen cracked so badly that I couldn't even use it at all. It was hard to get all my contacts, so I decided to go on our phone account and just get the contacts from there. My husband is the only one who's in charge of paying for the phone, so I never look at the accounts. I went on his computer, and he had the password and login automatically saved, so it was easy. I got all the phone numbers, but then I noticed that instead of just two lines on the account, there were three, and another phone was listed that neither of us had. Honestly, at the time, I thought nothing of it, and I thought that maybe it was a line

for his grandmother because she only has a landline, and she mentioned a couple of times wanting to get a phone and he just forgot to mention it. Cheating never even crossed my mind. I didn't even ask him about it and just went on with my day. A few days later, I was hanging out with my best friend, and she asked if I was able to get all the information back, and I said yeah, and I just mentioned that I even found his grandmother had a phone that he didn't even tell me about, but it wasn't a big deal. to get all the information back and I said yeah and I just mentioned that I even found his grandmother had a phone that he didn't even tell me about but it wasn't a big deal. I don't know what made her

ask but she said are you sure that's his grandmother's phone and I said pretty sure. She asked me to double check and I wasn't going to but I was curious. I called his mom first to say hi and I asked about his grandmother and I asked if she got a cell phone yet and His mom said no that apparently she didn't really need it I waited for him to go to work the next day and I looked at the account again I went to the phone clicked view usage history and I saw the phone had only texted and called one number Hundreds of times with the history going back five months. I also noticed that the times of the calls and texts were only the times when he was at work, never at home.

I called my friend and told her what I saw, and she basically told me that I needed to find the phone to confirm the cheating first. I looked for it all over the house for days, and I couldn't find it, so I knew that he must have it on him. I waited for him to go to sleep, and I searched his car, and I couldn't find it so I knew that he must have it on him. I waited for him to go to sleep and I searched his car and I found the phone. His passcode was the same passcode on his regular phone and I found everything. Text messages, pictures of her, pictures of them together and them saying I love you. She sends him a good morning video message every morning and he's kept

every one. I was heartbroken and I cried the whole night. My friend told me to take the phone, turn all the location trackers off, and then turn it off. The next morning, he left for work 30 minutes late because he was looking for the phone, but he couldn't ask me for it because he would have to reveal that he had another phone. I kept asking him what he was looking for for and he said, a file for work. He eventually left. I went to a park with my friend when he left.

Then I turned the phone on and put it on airplane mode and proceeded to go through everything. Our whole marriage is a lie. He's pretended that he cares about me, that he loves me, while building a relationship with his other woman who knows that he's married. I can't even describe how I felt when I found everything out. I still haven't confronted him about it, and that's because I'm planning to leave in a few months. There's a benefit to being married to him that I would lose if I filed for divorce,

but now I won't need that benefit anymore in a couple of months. He knows something is up because I put the phone back four days later underneath his car seat. The same seat that he checked more than a few times when he was looking for it. I even charged the phone back to the same percentage that I found it at. I got that idea from my friend. The day he found the phone, he came into the house and hovered over me the whole night, and he was just really quiet.

He hasn't asked me about it, and I think he knows that I know, but asking would lead to more questions. These past three months, my behavior has changed, and we haven't been intimate since I found out. I've rejected all of his advances. And he's panicking to the point that when I checked the account the first of the month, the third phone line had been removed. He also changed the password a few days later.

He keeps asking me what's wrong and I say nothing. He never goes anywhere now, and if he isn't at work, he's at home trying to spend time with me. He's recommended couples therapy because, in his words, something has changed and I said that we don't need it. To be honest, I'm finding a weird joy in seeing him panic because he ended our marriage and I think that he should suffer through worrying until I leave him. OP, your friend is a real MVP.

Without her, you'd probably still be in the dark about this whole thing. Our next Reddit post is from molassiststock. I'm a 36 year old man and my wife Bailey is 33. We met 9 years ago through mutual coworkers and we hit it off immediately. I felt absolutely hit over heels with this woman. She has everything I was looking for. I'd gotten out of a toxic, dare I say, abusive, long-term relationship right before that with a woman Bailey had been acquainted with, but not friends with.

I had this woman blocked on everything and had no contact with her since breaking up. Bailey and I got married right after the tail end of the pandemic, bought our first house together and started trying to conceive. That was difficult because Bailey has a medical condition, but last year she finally gave birth to our first daughter. I'm having a blast being a dad. It's kind of a dream come true. I finally got my happy life with my perfect wife.

Until last Monday. My laptop's battery died, so I opened up Bailey's work tablet with an attached keyboard. She wasn't home, it was just me and the baby, but we've never asked permission to use each other's devices. We've always been open like that, there's nothing for us to hide. That's what I thought. When I opened up the internet, I noticed that she had an incognito tab open. Never in a million years

did I expect to discover what I did. My wife has a secret Google account with a photo album saved called XX, so I clicked on it. Did I discover an affair? Nudes? Nope. In this Google album were 348 photos of MY ex-girlfriend, The woman that I was with right before I met Bailey. The woman who tormented me and made me feel worthless. That album said that it was started back right around the time that Bailey and I started dating, and was updated as recently as two weeks ago. The photos range from candid shots with families to pictures at her work functions. There were even pictures from her yearbook.

I don't even know how Bailey could have found her high school yearbook photos. Photos from vacations, ID photos from work, pictures of her in crowds, screenshots of videos, and screen recordings of videos. Just her. The other people in the photos were scribbled out, or the photos would be cropped and zoomed in on just my ex.

There were other disturbing things I found too. There was another album with just zoomed-up pictures of my ex's hair. Come to think of it, Bailey had recently started wearing her hair different, and my ex has a very identifiable hair type. There was another album with screenshots of comments on social media. Of course, I can't look these up because I have my ex blocked. Like Facebook groups that she's in and public posts. And my ex is very low-key on social media. I can't imagine the lengths that Bailey went to find them.

My ex literally lives in another country now. There were also different lengths to the EXACT outfits that she was wearing. Like very specific blouses and trousers you'd have to go really hard to find, a specific water bottle I remember her purchasing, and identical hiking boots and sandals. So basically, my partner of almost a decade has been stalking my ex-girlfriend, and has secretly stalked her to the point of buying her exact clothes and changing her hair to be like hers.

And now I'm starting to realize that Bailey's new interests over the years were just my ex's interests. Bailey has turned herself into my ex. Everything feels like a lie. Our love feels like a lie. The things we share feel like a lie. I threw up and had a panic attack. I looked at our daughter and felt betrayed.

I haven't confronted her yet. I don't know if I want to. I want to run away with our daughter. I want to print out all the pictures, leave them on the table, and disappear. I don't know what to do. I just want to throw up. You know, I'll admit I was a little naive reading this because my first thought when I found out that it was an album of the ex was, oh, she's keeping tabs on the

woman who made her husband miserable so that if she ever gets close to her man again, she can go beat her up or something. She's just being a protective wife who's taking it too far. But no, she wants to transform herself into your ex. And I have to wonder, is she doing this? Man, how do I say this? Is she transforming into your ex because that is your ex? As in she started dating you and then whoever your ex was before that she would have tried to transform herself into or was she

obsessed with this woman before that and only decided to date you because she wants what this woman has, which is way worse. I think it's worse. I don't know, they're both pretty bad. Our next Reddit post is from Adventurous Advance. Tomorrow they're gonna remove my jaw. I've been a pack-a-day smoker for 10 years. I'm 29.

A few months ago, I started noticing general discomfort around my lower jaw. Then, a bump where my throat meets my jaw. Turns out, it's a tumor caused by my smoking. It's growing. My whole right side of my jaw is swollen. Tomorrow, I'm having surgery to remove the tumor, but it's grown so much that they're going to have to take off the right side of my jaw and part of my throat. I'll be left with a deformed absence of flesh and bone in the right side of my face and a hole in my throat. I'll speak through a machine. I'll be deformed and mutilated. I have a four-year-old son, the only joy in my life.

And tomorrow, I'm gonna look like a monster to him. Tomorrow, I'm gonna ruin my life. I'd rather be dead. I'd rather let the tumor grow and suffocate me. The thought of seeing my son's horrified face when he sees me after they're done fills me with dread that I can't describe. He calls me his best friend. He tells me he loves me when I put him to sleep. And I'm gonna betray his love and turn into a monster when they remove 40% of my mouth. If you smoke or vape, I beg you to stop. Listen to the guy who's about to have his heart ripped out.

Just stop! Oh god, I'm about to lose my boy. Just stop smoking! Then OP posted an update. I've seen my boy. My big guy. My brave little dude. This was our interaction.

Uh oh, daddy has a big ouchie. Daddy look at my Spider-Man shoes, they make lights! He then stomped his feet to make his shoes light up. They are in fact quite cool. He's been strong and patient with me. He asked me why I don't talk, but his mom is helping him through it. She's been a blessing. He hugged me

and asked me to make bubbles with him before he left today. He told me he loved me without me saying it first. I can tell that I'm scaring him a little bit. His eyes tell me. His body language. But I think it'll be okay. After reading all of your messages, all of your experiences, all of your wisdom and all your love, I think it'll be okay eventually. He loves me, and I love him more than anything else there is to love. We'll find a way. Man, my daughter is having a three-year-old birthday party this month, and this story was rough to get through because I could not stop imagining myself in OP shoes. Luckily, I don't smoke, so it doesn't seem super plausible,

but you know, something like that could happen to anyone, even just if you're in a car wreck and you get injured or deformed or... man. Oh, that's rough, OP. I wish the best for you. That was r slash true off my chest, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.