rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Catfished Karen's Cheating Husband

Episode Date: December 1, 2022

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Welcome to our slash petty revenge, where OP destroys the marriage of a judgemental Karen. Our next reddit poster from CISO Jones. My next-door neighbors have rubbed me the wrong way ever since I moved here three years ago. The husband, Mike, struck me as a little sleazy, and the wife, Sharon, seemed nosy and judgemental as hell. But I know myself. I know that I'm quick to judge, and I get stuck in a certain opinion of people. My daughter, Maria, is the same age as theirs, and she has a bit of trouble making friends. So when Sharon suggested they have weekly play dates alternating between their house and mine, I put my dislike of her aside and agreed. It all seemed to be going fine for a while.

But eventually, my daughter seemed less enthusiastic about going over to their place. I talked to her about it, and she admitted that she didn't like Sharon. Apparently, Sharon had been watching them play and directing them on how to play, and she often interrupted to ask my daughter intrusive questions about our family, especially about my kid's paternity. My daughter is a picky eater, so to start with, I would send her over with snacks that I know she can eat in case there's nothing there she could eat. My daughter told me that it turns out she didn't need those snacks because they had food there that she could eat, but it turns out that Sharon had told her that she was being

rude for bringing her own food to someone else's house, and that if she wanted to eat, she had to eat what Sharon gave her. So, of course, she just didn't eat there. On top of that, Sharon would invite my daughter to Sunday school every time and had gotten very pushy even though she consistently said no. My daughter still wanted to play with Maria, so we decided the play dates could continue, but only if they were at our place. I made my excuses to Sharon, and initially she agreed to only have play dates at my house.

But then, when Sharon and her daughter showed up, they both came inside, instead of Sharon just leaving her daughter at the door like usual. In front of her daughter, my daughter, and my son, Sharon said they'd been praying about it as a family. And God had guided them and told them not to leave their daughter with an unmarried mother because apparently it shows that I can't make good choices. And they're worried that I would influence her to make poor decisions with her life and stray from her faith and then they left. So I was right about Sharon being nosy and judgmental. I decided to find out if I was right about Mike, too. I made accounts on Instagram and Facebook, posing as an attractive young lady with lots of local friends.

I followed him on Instagram and he followed back. He immediately messaged me, and the messages quickly went from vaguely 30 to obviously trying to get some. I then took screenshots of the messages and sent them to Sharon in a Facebook message. I didn't get a response, but I did see Mike storming out of the house with a small suitcase and driving off rather recklessly. He did come back a couple of days later,

so I haven't destroyed their marriage or anything, but I definitely put a dent in it. Opie, when you sent the messages you should have added. Sharon, I've been thinking about it, and I just don't think it's a good idea to have my kids be around an adult to her, so I think it's best if you keep your family away from mine for now.

Good luck, Sharon. I'll pray for you. Our next reddit post is from Stunning Island. Something like 25 years ago, I had a landline in my bedroom. About three months after I got it, I started getting calls every day for the local golf course. I told them they had the wrong number and hung up. Some people would call back over and over, insisting they were calling the number

on the card. So, I hopped on my bike and hit it over to the golf course, took one of their cards and discovered that they were, indeed, showing my number. I talked to the manager who insisted that it was their number. I asked him to call it, but he refused. Probably because he knew he'd be talking to my parents. No resolution. So I went home, and for the next couple of years, I accepted every single reservation that called me, no matter what time they wanted. Their reviews were not great.

And most were complaints about the reservation process. Down in the comments, we have this story from Snazzy Chica. My father's childhood house had almost the same number as I believe a local utility repair company. He used to take calls at two or three in the morning from people who wouldn't listen to his corrections, and he would tell them a technician was being dispatched. So they had to stay on the front porch and flip the lights on and off for the car. He didn't pick up the phone when it inevitably rang an hour later.

Our next reddit posted from Esmeralda Weatherwax. My mother-in-law hated me from the moment that we met. Think Evangelical Catholic meets Goth Atheist. I moved in with her son and had a baby without getting married, so she truly believed that I was a devil incarnate sent to draw her baby boy to the depths of hell. There followed years of petty microaggressions, a constant barrage of manipulation and guilt tripping, and doing things like offering to watch the kids and then pulling out 30 minutes before, or buying the kids a puppy when we expressly said no and then blaming us when she had to take the poor

puppy back. She pushed over my motorbike, turned up at my work, tried to rearrange the furniture in our house, and constantly talked about God and Jesus in front of the kids, and told them they were going to hell because they weren't baptized. I went very low contact and things were quiet for a while. I never cared about getting married. I felt that weddings were a waste of money. I'd rather have a boat or a new motorbike, but it was important to my husband, so I agreed on the one condition that it was not a church wedding. Apart from the generally problematic nature of the church, I experienced religious trauma growing up

and I wasn't prepared to compromise. My husband agreed and we started planning. Two days after we announced our engagement, a priest arrived on our doorstep. He had been sent by my mother and all to schedule a date for our wedding and book us in for pre-marital counseling. I was very nice to him. After all, my issue was with the institution, not this poor guy, and

I thanked him for coming and told him that we wouldn't be requiring any Catholic services for this wedding. He looked sad and expressed that he was a bit nervous to let my mother and law know. I offered him coffee and sympathy, and that was a start of an unlikely friendship. I was fairly annoyed by this stunt. I talked to my husband, who at the time was so far into the fog that he couldn't see a hand in front of his face. He didn't see the big deal, and he asked me to just let it go. I thought about it for a day, then told him no. We had to address this immediately, or it would escalate. I understand that he loves his mom and sisters, but their obvious contempt for me was a problem. I do

not like ultimatums, but by this point, I'd been putting up with this for six years. I laid everything out to him. We address this now or we don't have a wedding. Confronting my mother-in-law went about as well as you would expect. We visited, and my husband tried to talk to her about how inappropriate her actions were. She screamed at him and cried, and then his sister started on us both. Standing there, watching my husband's heart break, my filter broke. I told them to stop very loudly. Then I told them they were behaving like toddlers

that I was embarrassed by their antics and that they should consider this their first and only warning. If they tried anything like that again or treated us with anything other than kindness and respect, then not only what I canceled their wedding, I would tell their priest and all their friends about their disgusting behavior. I said that if they wanted to be part of the their wedding, I would tell their priest and all their friends about their disgusting behavior. I said that if they wanted to be part of the planning, then I would welcome their participation, but that my husband and I had the final say, my mother-in-law tried to speak, but I shushed her and we left. My husband was distraught and I felt bad for him, but we got into couples counseling and

things got better. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law seemed to have taken things on board, and they were maintaining a frosty civility, though they did ban me from their house. Fast forward about 12 months, and it's time for dress shopping. Yee-god's, I hated the idea of a wedding dress. I hate pale colors. I hate dressing up. I hate dressing up. I hate dresses.

Just everything about the idea made me want to fake a coma to get out of it, but I'd promise my mother, whom I love, and my brother that we could do this together. So my mom, my brother and his wife, my mother-in-law, and my three sister-in-law's all traips along with me to marvel at the sight of me and dresses. And it wasn't a bad day. The in-laws behaved themselves,

and I found a dress that I didn't hate as much as the others. I paid for it and we left. The next day I got a call from the shop. My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law had ordered themselves the exact same dress as me. I told my husband and he didn't really believe it. I laughed about it for a bit. Then I went back to the shop and ordered a new dress. The new one was

dark purple and had a black trim. Then I had an idea. I don't have a lot of female friends, but all my male friends have wives who have wedding dresses. And sometimes they say that they feel sad that they spent all that money on a dress that they'll never wear again. I talked to my husband and he agreed, so the invitations went out, and every person who had ever worn a wedding dress was invited to wear it again to our wedding. My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law got different invitations that specifically asked that they not wear white. I wasn't there for the initial confusion that swiftly turned to rage, but my mom and brother gleefully recounted the story later.

All four of them turned up in their beautiful white dresses with their beautiful makeup and hair, and were completely absorbed by the rest of the crowd. They didn't stand out at all. They looked exactly like everyone else. Except, of course, for my mom and my brothers' wife, who were purple like me. They were not going to ruin my day by upstaging me. My husband, who, up to that point, really didn't think that they would do something so vile, turned to stone that day. They had finally shown the depths that they would sink to, and the last of the fog was swept

away. I turned up to the wedding in the sidecar of a Harley Davidson, and I walked down the aisle to the Imperial March by myself. My brother was my maid of honor, and his wife was my husband's best man. Remember the priest? Well, he wasn't allowed to officiate outside of church as a priest, so he was our MC. This was the icing on the cake, because I saw my mother-in-law's face light up when she saw him. Until he introduced the married celebrant and handed her the microphone.

Instead, we had a pagan hand-fasting, jumped over a broomstick, and walked down the aisle to sweet child of mine, while our two kids played air guitar and danced ahead of us. I came face to face with my mother-in-law at the door. She was incandescent with rage. She went to speak, but my husband stepped forward and shoached her right in front of everyone. It was glorious. She didn't speak to either of us for the rest of the night. She didn't speak to us for nearly a month.

And then she called one day to ask to see the kids as if nothing had happened. So I let it go because my husband and I had won. But every now and then, when I go to an event that I know that my mother-in-law will be at as well, I wear my purple wedding dress because I'm petty like that. Man, I gotta give props to the real hero of this story. The owner of the wedding dress store. What's so funny about it to me is that this owner instantly knew that the mother-in-law and the sister-in-law's were planning on sabotaging the wedding. So she happily took their money. Thank you for the several hundred dollars for the dress. Thank you for the thousands of dollars for the dress. Times four, of course, because there's four of them. Then she immediately turns around a call OP

so that the mother-in-law's very expensive revenge becomes a very expensive waste. Our next reddit post is from Win Mill 2. I have dwarfism and this often leads to weird interactions in public, especially with kids. Sometimes a kid comes up to me to ask me why I'm so short, and I have a pre-prepared response for that, but most of the time they just loudly ask their parents why I'm so short. Usually, the parents will awkwardly drag their kids away, telling them not to comment on people in public,

which is sad, but understandable. I like the parents who just say something about how some people are born like this, and even though we look a bit different, we're still regular people just like everyone else. but understandable. I like the parents who just say something about how some people are born like this, and even though we look a bit different, we're still regular people just like everyone else. Sometimes I hear a gym like, I bet he's shrinking the wash. What I can't stand is when people try to use me to parent their kids. I'm sure you can think of ways to convince your kids to finish their play to dinner that don't involve pointing at a dwarf in public and saying, that's what happens when you leave food on your plate. Or he didn't listen to his mommy when she told him to eat all his vegetables.

It's rude, it's humiliating, and it teaches your kid that differences are a bad thing, and that people are at fault for their differences or disabilities. It just pisses me off. A few days ago I was in public, and a kid who was maybe four or five years old was acting out, and his mom was clearly struggling to keep him under control. So she pointed to me and told her son that I was one of Santa's elves, and that I was watching him, and that I would tell Santa about his behavior. The kid's name was on a key ring on his back pack, so I just said, it's okay, Hunter, you're already on the nice list, and Santa told me that you're

getting an iPad this Christmas. Hunter was excited. His mom was not. Down in the comments we have a similar story from Groovy Yaya. My cousin definitely taught her son that people come in all shapes and sizes, but she could not get her three or four-year-old son to stop staring at a guy in a wheelchair while they were standing on a sidewalk. I think they were waiting for a parade or something. Her son started to ask questions and my cousin's chushed him.

The man said that it was okay that at his age, questions were natural and understandable. By the way, the man was missing a leg. Well, to both their surprise, he wasn't at all curious about the missing leg, because people come in all shapes. No, he was fascinated by the wheels. This kid was obsessed with vehicles, so he asked the man of his wheelchair head gears.

When the guy popped a wheelie, my cousin said that her kid practically exploded with excitement, and she got an immediate request that he wanted a wheelchair too so that he could learn to do that. It tickled the guy, thankfully. Beneath that, we have this story from many spoke to wheel. My father-in-law was in a wheelchair, and when we were teaching my son-genders, he was so, so sure that mom was a girl, dad was a boy, and grandpa was a race car. Do you identify as trans?

Nah, I identify as trans-am. That was our slash Petty Revenge, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.