rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Farted On Him

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:09 Rx 5:36 Leaves 7:47 Fart defense 9:26 Unplugged 11:07 Excluded Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash Petty Revenge, where OP enlists the help of the entire state to get her revenge. Our next Reddit post is from Royal Relief. I was abused by my dad's wife growing up. My mom fought long and hard to gain custody, but my dad was a good Christian with more money, and he didn't fraternize with black people. Given our location, my mom stood no chance. She finally got custody when I was old enough to wear my opinion mattered. I switched from a fancy, extremely competitive

snobby private school to the local public school by choice. I dyed my hair green and put a gay pride sticker on my car. Because of where I was coming from, I was placing all the honors in AP classes the school offered. To be clear, I was not placed there because of my grades. I was a C student at the fancy school. The teachers didn't know what to think of me. I had green hair, which was considered absolutely shocking at the time, and my friends and I were bullied for many things, including this. My bumper sticker was definitely the most controversial topic in the entire

school. But I was quiet, I came from the fancy school, I paid attention in class, and I was earning straight A's. Thankfully, even though most of my peers shunned me, my teachers realized pretty quickly that I was a decent enough kid. I had a problem where I got migraines. I finally got a prescription for them, non-narcotic. I took the prescription straight to the nurse's office because the district had a zero tolerance policy, and if you were in possession of even Tylenol, you'd get expelled for drug possession. The nurse said, You're gonna have to get the doctor's signature on this form. I said, Why? This is a legitimate prescription with my name on it in the original bottle. We're required to have a doctor's signature before we can dispense medications.

How do you think I got the prescription in the first place? The nurse decided to impress upon me the fact that I was powerless here and that there was absolutely nothing I could do except comply. I left the office stressed because I didn't have access to my migraine medicine, and of course I ended up stressing myself out into developing a migraine. Call me a Karen, but I felt entitled to go to the nurse's office and be dispensed my medication, so I politely requested that it be given to me. The nurse obviously told me no, so I asked for the principal. I got the assistant principal who simply reiterated

district policy. Then it occurred to me that it was within my power to get my medicine, because I had a secret weapon, so I had to be sneaky. I said, I'd like to call one of my parents. This phone call wasn't intended for my dad, a financial consultant. It wasn't to my mom, who worked in sales and advertising. And of course I wasn't calling my step monster. But my step dad, on the other hand, just happened to be our region's most famous radio talk show host at the time. And he'd be on the air for another two hours. This was back during the time of phone books, so the assistant principal brought me the phone book. I looked up the radio station's number.

I called the radio station and got the front desk. Of course, lots of people call in, asked for my stepdad, and get absolutely nowhere. But I knew that they would interrupt a show, and he'd take the call if I told him that it was his daughter. I was hoping that he would take the call on air, but he didn't want to air what was most likely private business. So he put on commercials while I explained the situation. Then I suppressed a shitty-ding grin while handing the phone to the assistant principal to talk to my stepdad, Bill. I maintained a poker face.

The assistant principal basically explained to my stepdad that this is just how it is, and tough luck. But he didn't realize the mess he had just stepped into. He hung up, dismissed me, and walked off looking pretty self-satisfied at winning his little power trip. I went to class feeling victorious. I hadn't won yet, but I'd played my cards, and I knew how it would turn out. My stepdad got back on air, and immediately changed the topic of discussion to the ridiculousness of the district's medication policy.

The phone lines lit up. Turns out lots of people wanted to air their complaints. I was sitting in class suffering from my migraine, but I was feeling satisfied that my plan was unfolding. I was watching the clock. 45 minutes after I was arrogantly denied my legally prescribed medication that I needed, the assistant principal came into the classroom I was arrogantly denied my legally prescribed medication that I needed, the assistant principal came into the classroom I was in, knelt down beside my desk and whispered,

hey, you want to come take your medication? So after that, the school desperately wanted to expel me. But while I 100% can be a troublemaker when I want to be, I never did anything that I could have definitely been disciplined for. They had nothing on me. I knew it, they knew it. And they knew they couldn't get away with just making stuff up because in my corner, I had Bill Jones, famous radio personality.

I was a junior at the time and the school tried to get me to take summer classes so I would graduate early but I said nope, I'll be here for another year. The assistant principal said, would you like to take your high school classes at the community college instead? You'll get high school and college credits. This was a relatively new program at the time, but my school wanted to get rid of me so badly that I got to rack up a year's worth of college general education credits during my senior year. They tried to screw me over, so I screwed them back in a way that they couldn't punish me, and they rewarded me just to get me to go away.

Our next reddit post is from Joey Fine. My friend keeps a very clean yard. In the fall, he likes to get up all the leaves before it rains and they become a pain to pull up. His neighbor doesn't care about his yard as he's owned the house for a few years and still hasn't moved in. The guy lives a few states away. While my friend was finishing sucking up the leaves with his machine, some of the leaves

blew into the neighbor's driveway, maybe like 20 leaves total. My friend finished up and went inside. About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door and a squad car outside. The officer said they received a complaint about leaves being blown into the driveway. The neighbor had been watching on his doorbell cam and decided this transgression warranted police intervention. He could tell the officer was visibly annoyed.

My friend asked the officer to look at his yard and then the neighbor's yard to see that that was obviously not true. So the neighbor had this old car shipped and dropped to the driveway about eight months ago where it's sad ever since. Remember, the guy still lives a few states away. So my friend told the officer that he would clean up the 20 extra leaves and he asked the officer, hey, could you do me a favor?

Check that car to make sure it has the proper tax. The officer saw the car in question and gave a slight smile. While my friend was cleaning the 20 leaves off the driveway, the officers were walking around the car and running the information. He could hear the neighbor on his doorbell camera asking what the problem was. Where we live, there's a law that any car that's in the driveway has to have tags and insurance on them. The cops went over to talk to the neighbor through the doorbell camera. The cops said that his car was in violation and he had two choices. The first was

to put the car in the garage. The second option was to get it registered and insured. And the cops promised to come back in two weeks and if the car wasn't taken care of, they would ticket him and tow the car. So this idiot neighbor cost himself a 10 hour car ride just to move his car into the garage all over a few dead leaves. What I love about this story is that the cop also got to have petty revenge because he was obviously pissed off about this dude wasting his time so he's like, okay, I'll waste your time too. Our next reddit post is from tit4tatt.

I go to the gym to work out and decompress. I do not see it as a place to be social. I wear large, over-ear headphones. I was at the gym and I just finished one of my sets for deadlifts when this guy walks over. This is something that I'm used to, despite how much I dislike it, but he starts talking to me and I'm able to tell that he's flirting. I'm polite and I'm waiting for a proper moment to end the conversation.

When he asks for my number, I decline. He keeps talking and going into the usual stick of, why not and come on! At this point, I'm very uncomfortable and also annoyed because my workout timer has already gone off, and it's past time for me to start my next set. I've put on my big girl pants and tell him that he's making me uncomfortable, and I just want to finish my workout. Does he leave? No!

He keeps talking, and now he's going on about how he didn't mean it like that, and he's not a bad guy. No actual apology to be found. He's always going on about how he didn't mean it like that and he's not a bad guy. No actual apology to be found. Now during this entire interaction, I've had to fart. I was being polite and holding it in until he left, but seeing that he wasn't, I think, well, I know a way to get him to leave. As he's still talking, I let it go.

It's silence, but rather smelly. It only takes about two seconds for him to catch a whiff. He stops talking and the face he makes is so funny that I have to bite my lip to stop laughing. That's when he gives me a look of, are you serious and finally leaves? And I'm left alone to finish my workout. And with that, the guy vanished like a fart in the wind. Our next Reddit post is from Get Off My Unicorn. I've worked in an office for almost two years now. I have a teammate with the same job title, but with a slightly different role.

Let's call her Lola. We essentially worked together as a team, working on our separate tasks to complete shared projects. I answered a phone call at my desk a couple of months ago that was for her and went to verify the information it transferred the call to her. This is something the receptionist normally did, so I wasn't exactly sure what Lola's extension was. Here's how the conversation went down.

Hey Lola, you have a phone call. What's your extension? It's for me. That's weird. Why is that weird? It's usually for you, so I don't answer it. What are you talking about? When someone calls either of us, both our phones ring.

It's usually not for me, so I don't answer it. It's normally not for me, either. I just take a message or get the call to the right person, like I'm trying to do now. Lola didn't really have anything to say about that, so I got her extension and transfer the call to her. Back in my office, I'm kind of steaming. For the past two years, I've been taking every call and message when the receptionist was away.

My teammate had been simply ignoring the phone that entire time, leaving all that work to me. I looked at my phone and thought, I wish I could just unplug it. Then I realized, wait, I CAN unplug it. So I unplugged my phone and placed it on top of the cord so it simply looks as though it's plugged in. I have no idea who's going to answer the phone now when the receptionist is away from her desk, but I guarantee that I will not plug that phone in again unless someone figures

it out, and then I'll simply play dumb. I mean, who would do something like that on purpose? It's a small anarchy, but I'll take it. Our next Reddit post is from Fancy Atmosphere. I'm a 25 year old woman, and I married my husband James, who's 29 two years ago. I have a daughter, Lily, who's 11. Yeah, I had a kid at the age of 14. I don't regret having her.

It was just awkward timing. Also, I have two twin girls who are 8 months old. Lily's father was never present in her life, so when James came Also, I have two twin girls who are 8 months old. Lily's father was never present in her life, so when James came around, I was honestly surprised by how much of a father role he took on and how much Lily loved him. I knew after just one year that I wouldn't spend the rest of my life with him. Around the time that we were planning for the wedding, my mother-in-law kept making remarks about Lily not being James child.

But we brushed it off until my mother-in-law flat out told us that she wouldn't be financing the wedding if Lily was a guest. My mother-in-law also said that because Lily wasn't James' biological child, she would never support Lily. We had no problems with my mother-in-law not paying for the wedding. We were just both taking a back that she would ever say anything like this. I obviously objected and so did James. My mother-in-law tried to plead with James and when he wouldn't budge, my mother-in-law

stormed out of the house. Lily was our flower girl, and on the day of the wedding, my mother-in-law tried to stop Lily three times, once by even blocking the path to the altar, but she was easily stopped each time by the other guests in the groomsman. Besides that, our wedding went off without a hitch, and I wouldn't have preferred it any other way. The wedding was magical, besides my beast of a mother-in-law. After I had my twins, my mother-in-law withdrew from Lily entirely, and Lily not understanding why obviously made her upset. Well, over the weekend, Lily celebrated her 11th birthday, and as for Lily's request, she wanted everyone to give

a speech at her birthday. Everyone but my mother-in-law was included. My mother-in-law hates not being front and center, so when everyone was done giving their speeches, I turned around to see my mother-in-law and she was pissed. She later pulled James in me aside to ask why she wasn't included, and I asked her whatever happened to never supporting Lily. James agreed with me, but my mother-in-law is still upset about the ordeal. Opie, yeah, this is okay, petty revenge, but to be honest, I'm surprised you invited her to the wedding at all.

Why would you let this woman disrespect you and your daughter like that? If you ask me, your revenge isn't going nearly far enough. That was our Sash Petty Revenge, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.