rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Got Back at a Thief

Episode Date: March 10, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 Headphones 2:47 OJ 3:37 Monthly reports 7:09 Bday 8:27 Wifi 10:18 Speaker sales 11:47 No soliciting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. Welcome to R-Slaughty Revenge, where OP gets revenge against a thief. Our next Reddit post is from Jade Wilders. About six months ago, I had a layover in Houston. After de-planning and going through security, I realized my headphones had fallen out of my pocket. I submitted the lost item claim with United and gave the description of the color of the silicon case they had on them. Plain info, seat number, the whole thing.

I also set it to Lost mode and included my phone number to call me. I emailed United a few times, stating I could see they'd moved from the plane to see what seemed to be a united office space. I now realize it was probably the employee lockers. After about 24 hours, I saw them go to an apartment building. I watched them go from the apartment building to the airport, back and forth, and track the schedule. I gave United the address of the employee, their schedule, and what days they'd worked. Surely the home address and schedule was enough to pinpoint who it was, so they could at least deal with it internally. I wasn't exactly excited to get the AirPods back if this person had been wearing them. United told me that because the AirPods had left

the property, they wouldn't do anything, and I had to file a police report with Houston police. I live in Arizona. United closed my claim. So for the last few months, whenever I see my lost headphones with the earbuds out, I hit the play sound on the earbuds and blast the wearer's ears out. I see them quickly go back in the case. If they would have called me when they found them, I happily would have sent this person a reward, even enough to buy their own basic pair. I understand they're expensive, and not everyone can swing a pair. I'm slowly working towards making them go deaf, so no one else loses a set of headphones to them. I think it's the pettiest thing I've ever done. Down in the comments, we have this reply from Why Now. A friend of mine lost his AirPods on a plane.

Based on the location and the address, my friend found the suspect's name, a little googling and searching on Instagram and he found the culprit. They had taken holiday pictures in the same location as the AirPods. He sends a message to the guy that he'll inform his employer. He gets the AirPods in the mail. We also have this story from Hartchick Girl. My teenage daughter put her mobile phone down in a supermarket and only thought about it 15 minutes later. We went back to the supermarket and asked it lost and found. Not there. We used Find My Phone and tracked it to a nearby home. We went to the police, but they wouldn't help. We then sent a message to the phone saying, we've tracked this phone to such and such address, and we're on our way to the police station.

Then we got a call from the supermarket saying that a granny had returned our phone to lost and found. Hope this story helps someone recover their item. Our next credit post is from Pleasant Bad. My old roommate used to eat my food and drinks. Despite having several conversations about boundaries and not being a dick, nothing changed. So I faked being sick for two days over the weekend when he was home, and I drank directly out of the orange juice container. I licked the edge of the pickle jar before putting the top back on and some pickle juice ran over. I stuck my bare finger in the peanut butter. I used my finger to put cream cheese on a bagel. I made sure he noticed all of it. On Sunday, he broke and asked me if I always handled food like that. I told him I thought it was dumb to dirty. utensils when I'm the only one eating my food. Not only did that end my food being stolen, but he suggested we have our own drawers and shelves in the fridge to prevent confusion. Lull. Our next Reddit post is from Mary Mascandrist. This takes place 19 years ago when I worked for State Street Bank for one of the worst human beings ever, Paula. If you live in Boston and you're looking for a place to work,

skip it. It's a horrible place to work. I had just started working for Paula. When I was hired, they told me the job was one thing, but in reality, it was a mushroom farm, as in Paula keeping you in the dark and feeding you turds. All I did was compile reports and gather data from people who were terrified of my team. Needless to say, I was bait and switched and was looking to get out shortly after I got there. She had a habit of always criticizing your work to hell with the stupidest things. One of the reports I was responsible for was a weekly update on certain oil warrants out of Nigeria. An oil warrant is an agreement to buy a commodity at a specific price, regardless of what the current value is. The reason being, there was an option to buy at $30 per barrel when prices peaked

at $90 per barrel. We had no idea if the holder knew about this or not, but we had to monitor and report because the liability and loss would have been massive. Anywho, week after week, I After a week after week, Paula would review and rip me a new butthole over the format, verbiage, and every stupid thing not related to the actual numbers being right. Total ticky-tack stuff. One day, I was going through the network files and stumbled across an old folder for a similar project. It was Paula's handiwork before they gave her a team to manage.

So I decided to use her format for everything, even changing the report structure to look just like hers and using her cover letter language. I brought it to her office to review and sign up, and she absolutely lost her mind. She asked what happened to the old format. I told her since she didn't seem to like what I'd been doing, I thought it best to change it around. She said that this was worse than before, probably the worst I'd ever submitted to her. She went on and on for what seemed like forever. I just looked at her and didn't interrupt with my blank look. Her last question to me was what I was thinking when I made these changes. I told her that I used the formatting and language

she used when she was doing a similar report a few years back, that I found the folder online and used her past work verbatim, just with the numbers and relevant information changed. I gave her printouts of her reports and letters to compare. She just looked at me and had this dumbstruck look on her face. I asked, if this is bad, should I go back to my format then? She just signed off on the reports and said to send them as is. I just wanted to confirm that they were fine to send because less than a minute ago, she said that it was basically unreadable. She said they were fine as is, and we didn't have time to redo them. So I sent them out. I was smart enough to find and save all of her old work. I noticed that she went through and deleted or moved the

older folders after our encounter because I expected her to. This cat and mouse game went on for the remainder of my time there. I would use her templates and past work and wait for her to tear it apart. After a few more times of this, she eventually figured out that I grabbed all of them. She asked, and I told her I created standard operating procedures using all of her past work, and I saved it locally. It seemed like the logical thing to do. I was able to quit a few months later. F you, Paula! Our next Reddit post is from Faustian Foybles. My mother is complicated. She can be selflessly helpful when times are tough, but when things should be easy or good, it's like she has to ruin them. She also shows up way too early for everything and makes it everyone else's

problem. Today was supposed to be my birthday celebration. Nothing big. I just booked a 1 p.m. lunch with her, my brother, his partner, and their kids. As you can probably already guess, when I showed up at 1245, she was already furious that I had the audacity to keep her waiting for nearly two hours. 15 minutes straight of being yelled at, I told her she should just leave if this was how she was going to act. This was my birthday, and I wanted to actually enjoy it, not have her or ruin it. She refused and insisted that I should be the one to leave instead because this was never about you. It's about me getting to spend time with my grandchildren. Okay, then, if my birthday is about spending time with the kids, then that's exactly how I'd celebrate.

So I absolutely monopolized the kids and made it so that she couldn't spend any. time with them. Instead, she just sat in the corner, pouting, while I enjoyed some quality nibbling time. O.P., next year, just do yourself a favor and cut your mother out of the birthday celebrations entirely. Our next credit post is from premium oxygen. Many moons ago, when I lived at my family home, my younger brother was addicted to playing call of duty, and was one of those teenagers that would take it way too seriously. My bedroom was downstairs, and his was above mine, and when he'd lose or get killed in a way he decided was unfair, he'd shout down his headset and slam his feet onto the ground, which shook my whole bedroom. This would go on

until the early hours of the morning, despite me asking him time and time again to please keep it down. It got to the point where I was exhausted all the time after being constantly woken up. I even recall this happening until 3 a.m. the morning of a job interview, which I subsequently failed as I couldn't even think straight. He was a bit of a psycho in those days, so he wouldn't care he was keeping me up. If I did anything by force, like switches PlayStation off or whatever, then he'd likely retaliate far more severely. So I needed to find a way to make it seem like it wasn't me.

It would be too obvious if I turned the entire router off and on as it takes time to reestablish itself. I opted to log into our router settings via my phone and would change the password to something else, then change it back again. This would automatically boot off everything on the network for just a moment and then reconnect. It was perfect. If he got too loud, then I could just boot him off the game and it would look like an outage or a server issue in game.

Then I'd let him start another game and I'd repeat the process until he eventually got fed up of it and turned it off. I think it also created a Pavlov's dog response in him not to get so angry at it or it would mysteriously disconnect. He never caught on to it being me, though he did comment on how much better the Wi-Fi had been after I moved out. Guess it must be because I'm using less bandwidth.

I lied. Our next Reddit post is from Cupertore. I've worked retail for three years, so you develop a thick skin, but sometimes someone gets under it. Anyway, this guy comes in the other day, middle-aged. He was already annoyed before I even spoke. He wanted a specific speaker that was on sale,

and unfortunately we were sold out. I told him I could check other stores or order it online for him with the same price. Reasonable options, right? He goes, Are you stupid? Just check the back. I smiled and said I'd check and walked to the back.

I stood there for three minutes and came back out. Sorry, sir, we don't have any. He bought a different, more expensive speaker. His loss. One thing about our return policy is that it requires a receipt and you can do it without one, but it's a whole process. It needs managers, ID, store credit only, and it's a pain in the butt.

So when I bagged his speaker, I folded the receipt as small as it would go. Then I taped the bag shut when I put that bag inside another bag and taped that shut. I tucked the receipt right between the layers where the tape meets the plastic. If he ever tries to return that speaker, he'll have to destroy both bags to find it, and even then it's this tiny crumpled square wedged in tape residue. Will it ruin his life? No. Will it mildly inconvenience him at the exact moment he's already frustrated about returning something? Yes. Enjoy your speaker, sir. Hope you love it because returning it's going to be a whole journey. Our next Reddit post is from a gate beggar. Many years ago, we bought a house on a street filled with original owners. The houses were built in the 50s, so all the neighbors were seniors. Since we were young, we took care of many neighbor problems, like garbage cans, light repairs, and keeping the street gutters clean during storm. Our street was also prime territory for predatory door-to-door salesmen. The no-soliciting signs didn't deter them, and I was getting angry at all of them.

I don't mind popping off when someone deserves it. Those fools paid a high price for their inability to read. One pair of obnoxious men didn't care for my tirade, got offended, and went next door to try their luck. Big mistake. That was my favorite neighbor. My window was open, and I heard her say no twice, but the other. they wouldn't stop. I yelled out the window that she had said no and they needed to go. The offended

one argued with me. Told me to mind my own business. Bigger mistake. I came out of my house, gave them both a vitriolic lecture about consent, and pointed to the sidewalk. Grudgingly, they turned and hit it for the next house. When they got to the sidewalk, I pointed to every single house and said they were all under my protection. I told them I would follow to each house and monitor the interactions. If they didn't leave at the first no, my lecture would start again. I meant it and followed them to the end of the street. I ruined their day, and all these years later, it still makes me smile.

You know, here's a crazy fact that seems kind of bizarre, I have to point this out. You don't have to open the door. You know, especially if you can see who it is before you open the door, my door has big windows, so people can see in and I can see out. And if I ever go to the door and it's a solicitor, they see me and then they see me just turn around and leave. And that's it. That's the whole interaction.

We don't have to talk. We don't have to talk about solar panels or whatever it is. They get the message and they leave. You know what crazy thing I've noticed and like once you notice that you can't unsee it? Is in TV shows and movies. Whenever the cops knock on the door or whenever someone is in some really dangerous situation like, you know, there's a body on the floor. The door knocks. They open the door.

You don't have to open the door. literally bang bang bang it's the police open up okay do you have a warrant if you don't have a warrant you don't have to open the door that's how it works man that was our slash petty revenge and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because i put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day getting ready for a game means being ready for anything like packing a spare stick i like to be prepared that's why i remember nine eight can't a suicide crisis helpline it's good to know just in case Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.