rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Got Revenge Against an Angry Boomer

Episode Date: March 1, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Neighbors 5:04 Kids 6:29 Comment 7:02 Divorce 9:19 Comment 9:39 Toxic 11:50 Butter sculptures 13:59 Kitchen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash petty revenge where a neighborhood douchebag gets a taste of his own medicine. Our next reddit post is from titansfrontrow. Last spring my old neighbor who was a, sold her house and moved away. The people who moved in were awful. The guy, Pete, owns some sort of new black Mustang that sounds like it has no muffler. And he revs it up and down the subdivision streets in the evenings literally five days a week when a lot of people, myself included, sit on the back porch and watch TV during the summer. It's relentless.

This guy also drives up and down the state highway that's on the other side of my house doing the same thing but louder because it's a 55 mile per hour speed limit. You can hear it for miles. And he has a friend over regularly in the backyard, and they sit there on the weekends and some weeknights, just revving up the car. It's truly so loud that you can't do anything but wait for him to be done. There was a big Facebook conversation in the HOA group, and a bunch of neighbors politely asked him not to do this. Pete's exact response? I pay a lot of money for this house. I'll do what I

want in my own yard. The streets are public. Well, I didn't like that. So here's what I did next. Our subdivision has about 150 houses on about 300 acres. It's big. Most of the properties in the subdivision are between 1 to 4 acres in size. I have a 3 acre corner. Due to an agreed upon land split sale 10 years ago between the HOA, all neighbors within the vicinity, and former owners, my next door neighbor's house is on the smallest piece of property in the subdivision at a half an acre. Well, I know from 15 years of living here that anytime I have a fire on the side of the yard next to Pete's, the smoke is guaranteed to travel in the direction of Pete's house. I know this because I couldn't ever have a fire when my old neighbor was outside

as it would literally fill her backyard with smoke if ever the wood had even a hint of moisture in it. So I moved my fire pit about a dozen years ago to the other side of my house and towards the road so that I could be a good neighbor. And you know, Pete letting me know that he wouldn't quit making noise reminded me that I just loved having my fire pit right in the middle of my backyard. It took me a single weekend to dig up the pavers and blocks, move them back to my preferred spot, and get myself a fire going in my new fire pits. I just need to wait until Pete had people over. I made sure the inaugural fire was a good one. Pete had friends over. It was a nice day, so I got the fire started. I got it just about started and then I added all the wettest, grossest wood that I could.

And about 10 minutes later, Pete and all of his friends were visibly upset by the stench, so they all went inside. They came back out a little later. I added more wet, nasty wood, and they went inside again. I kept that up the entire day, and then I added a bunch of grass clippings to keep it going over the night. The next day, still smoldering, still smelling awful. I put out a Facebook post on the HOA website that let people know that I'd be continuing to utilize my fire pit as often as possible so they could bring me their lawn scraps. I had about 20 people respond in a few hours saying their clippings were all mine.

I kept that fire going. My dogs are good alarms and they rush outside anytime anybody is in Pete's backyard, so I would hear the dog scramble, go out, and add more clippings. After about three weeks, Pete and his wife came out and very kindly asked me what was going on with the fire pits. The wife very politely informed me that her hair would smell like a campfire if she went into her backyard for any amount of time, and they could smell it coming into their house through their ductwork. Pete said that I was making it hard for him to enjoy his backyard with his friends. They asked me if I could ease back with the fire because I probably didn't know that

it was impacting so much of their home life. I looked at him and his wife and I said that it was clear that sometimes we didn't recognize how big of an effect something could have on our neighbors until they told us about it. But then I said, as objectively as possible, that I normally live by the same, I'll do what I want in my yard thought process as Pete does. I have a right to enjoy my yard. I looked at Pete dead in the eyes and said, and I know you support that because of how

the conversation concluded about your car, right Pete? He looked at me like I scratched his favorite CD. He knew what I was doing. And his wife looked at him and it just dawned on her. She said she gets it and we won't hear the Mustang anymore and I said, thanks. I took a gamble and put the fire out right after that. It was the right call. I haven't talked to them much since. I'm not too concerned about that because I haven't heard the Mustang since either. All in all, a pretty good little case of petty revenge. OP figured out the secret to dealing with obnoxious husbands.

Don't fight the husband, just recruit the wife. Our next Reddit post is from Meloadz. This happened years ago while I was working at a craft store. Like most craft stores, there were walls of glass, ceramics, and other very breakable, very sharp items for sale. And this day, I was stocking one of these fragile sections. A woman came in with what felt like over 10 children under the age of 15. But it turned out to only be 4 kids, and she let them loose to play tag and Marco Polo

in the aisles while she shopped. After I collided twice with these kids because they weren't watching where they were going, I decided to hunt down the mom before they or I got hurt. I had worked well enough customer service to know that if you asked directly for them to control their kids, they would get mad and refuse out of principle more often than not. I decided to be sneaky and stand in the same aisle as her and pretend to be stalking something near her and spoke into my

work headset without actually pressing the button. Hey, did anyone get the broken glass from aisle 13? No? Okay then, I'll be over there in just a moment to get that cleaned up. Suddenly, the lady realized there might actually be danger in letting your young children sprint around the store. And she immediately gathered them all up and they stayed by her side for the rest of the trip. After this, I used this strategy every time a customer decided we were their free childcare and it worked about 90% of the time. Then down in the comments, we have a similar story from Fickle Grapefruit. Lol, that's a bit like the time that my brother-in-law warned the kids lighting fireworks

in the alley behind his house that he saw cops in the street. The kids yelled, thank you, and sprinted off to light them elsewhere. So if you have a good heart, you probably thought that the woman got her kids because she didn't want them to get cut by the glass. But if you're cynical, you probably thought that she went to go get her kids because she didn't want them to get cut by the glass. But if you're cynical, you probably thought that she went to go get her kids because she didn't want to get blamed for them breaking the glass so she would have to pay for it. Considering how clueless and selfish this woman is, I'll have to guess that it was the second one. Our next reddit post is from equity.

I have a friend, Lisa. She's in her 50s, has been married forever, and has spent way too much of that time putting up with her nightmare of a husband. Lisa had thought about divorcing him more times than she can count, but she always hesitated because she knew that he would turn the process into a living hell. Well, two months ago, Lisa finally snapped. She decided it was time to break free and filed for divorce. Cue her husband, let's call him

Todd the Terrible, immediately proving her right by going full on paranoid spy mode. First, he installed surveillance cameras all over their house, which unfortunately is technically legal in our country as long as he lived there too. But Lisa's pretty sure he also planted some illegal listening devices because get this, that's the exact advice he gave his brother during his own divorce. As if that wasn't creepy enough, Todd took her car for two days because it's the family car right after she handed him the divorce papers. He never uses his family car because he has his own car.

That's plenty of time to slap on a GPS tracker or a few bugs, right? His excuse for all this James Bond level nonsense? He claims Lisa is cheating. Spoiler, she's not. But here's the kicker. In my country, divorce means splitting everything 50-50 regardless, unless something truly extreme comes up. So even if Lisa were sneaking off to rendezvous with the entire team of Kansas City Chiefs, it wouldn't change a thing. Todd's tantrum was entirely pointless. Now Lisa doesn't have the time or money to check her car for gadgets, and the whole situation is understandably frustrating.

So I suggested the perfect petty revenge, turning his creepy surveillance obsession against him. Now, when she's in the car, she regularly puts on a show, loudly announcing gems like, Your dick is so small that I need a microscope to find what you're working with. You're the worst intercourse I've ever had. And I've had bad intercourse. I feel sorry for your future dates. They'll need a search party to find any satisfaction.

She's tried it a few times now and tells me it's more satisfying than therapy. I like this suggestion from Deleted who says, Time to gaslight! I'd say, I finally did it! I hid it. He will never find it

and if the judge asks me, I'll just tell her that I don't know. I hid it so well, he won't even think to look there. Of course there's nothing, but it'll drive him crazy. Our next reddit post is from GreggsbyJohn. My ex and I were planning on separating. It was a toxic relationship. He was a controlling narcissist, and I'd been under his thumb for far too long. I was in counseling, and my therapist and I mapped out the best way for me to get out, although the details of the plan were my idea. I got a better paying job.

I opened my own bank account. That was a huge fight. And I figured out where to go to. He knew that I was leaving and he even went through the house and marked all the things that were his that I couldn't take with me. Which was basically everything we purchased throughout our 13 years together. I was only allowed to take the items that I came with when we moved in together. He planned to take the day off from work on a particular Thursday and would be there to

supervise my move to ensure that I only took what he approved. That's where my plan began. The Saturday before his planned date, I scheduled to move after he left for work. He worked long days, so I knew that I could pack and leave before he returned. About an hour after he left, my friends and family showed up with boxes and tape and a moving truck. I parked it out back so my neighbors didn't see it. In less than four hours, all my belongings were packed and on the truck, and I pretty

much stuck to his rules. Because I didn't want reminders of our life in my future. Before I left in the truck, I went through and grabbed every single towel, washcloth, sheet, toilet paper, paper towel, napkin, and tissue. I took anything and everything that he couldn't wipe his butt or his nose with. And I took the carpet runner that was at the front door, leaving the tape that secured it to the floor. That way, as soon as he walked in, he would know that I was gone.

Imagine coming home from work after a long day, expecting one thing and finding another, and then not having a single tissue or toilet paper to use. My best revenge was building a happy new life. But that day made me feel so good. I know a lot of people prefer to poop in the safety and comfort of their own home, so he might have been saving it just to get home, poop and find out, damn, I don't have any toilet paper.

Our next Reddit post is from Dads Milk. I was at the state fair looking at the butter sculpture. This old dude is standing next to me recording it as it spins around because the sculpture has two different sides to it. This little girl, maybe 3 years old if I had to guess, runs up to it and presses her face and hands against the glass all excited. I laughed because I found it cute. I remember being young and that excited for silly things. But the old dude next to me immediately starts complaining. Specifically, he said, Jesus Christ, get out of the way.

And keep in mind, this girl isn't even tall enough to mess with his precious video. If anything, he should have been happy to catch a genuine state fair moment. But nope, apparently in his mind, he deserves to get a completely uninterrupted video. The mom awkwardly apologized and pulled her daughter back. I was immediately livid though. As soon as it got to the point that the butter sculpture was turning to the side that he hadn't recorded, I slowly walked in front of him and passed his camera so that I blocked all the important stuff. As I was walking away, he goes, You're a real butthole, you know that?

And I shot back, Dude, what does that make you? You yelled at a little girl because you need your video that bad. He huffed and puffed and goes, Well, you're still a butthole. I just laughed and kept walking away at that point. I made eye contact with the mom before I left though. She had a huge smile on her face, gave me a nod and mouthed,

Thank you. One of the most satisfying moments of my life, honestly. I've never seen a butter sculpture, so I hit up Google and sure enough, it's just sculptors of things made out of butter. And you know, they're... I guess they're cool. So I have to imagine that this old dude took the video, sent it to his grandkids and was like, hey kids, check it out.

It's a sculpture of a cow, but it's made out of butter. And his grandkids were like, cool, grandpa. Really neat.'" So that's probably what was at stake here. He yelled at a little girl to get a boring video that he can send to his grandkids who definitely don't care. Our next Reddit post is from CourageOK. I have teenagers and a husband who works from home.

I work a demanding job with fairly long hours, but I don't mind cooking when I get back as I enjoy it and can whip up a meal in under 20 minutes if I need to. So the deal is I'll cook and my husband and the kids get cleanup duty. The problem is that they're all extremely messy and aren't at all bothered by a dirty messy kitchen. Whereas a dirty kitchen is the one thing that really upsets me. So after a long hard day at work, I get back to a filthy, dirty kitchen and have to clean it before I could start cooking. I got tired of nagging them and screaming. It just elevated my stress levels. So instead, I would get some food at work, arrive home, sit at the couch,

and read my book. After a while, someone would ask what was for supper. I would say, I don't know, I can't really do much in a dirty kitchen. And carry on reading my book. I wouldn't end up cooking that evening as it got too late, and everyone else would have to have cheese on toast. Much to their disgust. Now when I get home, the kitchen is spotless and the dishwasher is on. Problem solved. Ah yes, the finding out phase of being a teenager. An important lesson that everyone has to go through at some point. That was r slash petty revenge and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.