rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Pissed Off an Airport Karen

Episode Date: April 12, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Speakerphone 2:06 Pennies 3:01 Drunk dial 6:28 Luggage 8:44 Bathroom 10:34 Taking credit for 12:59 Car door 14:31 Food Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash petty revenge, where someone gives an unwanted semen sample. Our next reddit post is from xboxgamer. I worked in a cubicle farm. There were four rows of four cubicles. There was one co-worker who never used the handset on his phone. Every call he made or received was made using the speaker. He also tended to shout into it, even though it wasn't necessary to raise his voice to be picked up by the microphone. There had been a few complaints from some of us to him, but he ignored them.

One Monday morning, he called a doctor's office to report that he was having urinary troubles. He made an appointment for the next morning at 9 o'clock. Then he called our boss and said that he'd be coming in late tomorrow. All of this was broadcast via his speaker and loud voice. I talked my wife into calling his extension the next morning while he was at the doctor's office to leave a message using a script that I'd written out for her. She did and left the message on his voicemail after blocking her caller ID.

When he arrived at the office after the doctor's appointment, he started listening to his voicemail messages on speaker. The first was work-related, but the second was the one my wife left for him. It was something like this. Mr. Smith, this is Jane from Dr. So-and-so's office. We need you to come back here today if possible. You-

Hahahaha. Hahahaha. You were supposed to give us a urine sample, not a semen sample. Hahaha. You were supposed to give us a urine sample, not a semen sample. Hahaha. He quickly punched the end call button. Hahaha. But it was too late. The whole cube farm erupted in laughter.

He knew that it had to be one of us, but didn't recognize the voice. He never used the speakerphone again. I was confident the way this story was going was your wife said, oh, you have chlamydia or gonorrhea or some other semi embarrassing STD. But this joke was 10 times better. Our next Reddit post is from Literature Strong. I was working for the toll authority before they got rid of them for Easy Pass. This guy comes through with a toll of about $5. He raised his cupped hands up towards me full of pennies and nickels.

Once I took them he said, here you go, enjoy counting while laughing to himself. So I told him, enjoy waiting right there until I'm done counting. Otherwise I'll call the state troopers to bring you back. He pouted the entire time while I stacked pennies and accidentally knocked them over, having to start again a couple of times. He was over by 20 cents. I gave the 20 cents back to him and said, Here's your change. Aren't you glad you waited? You know how when you're trying to fall asleep at night and your brain will flood you with embarrassing memories from your past? I bet the here's your

change, aren't you glad you waited line is going to be the line that keeps this guy up at night. Our next reddit post is from sobrietyjunkie. A few years ago, my boyfriend of nearly five years left me for some woman that he met at work. I'd suspected that he was cheating on me for a while, but I never had any proof. Until I came home one day to find all of his belongings gone. The only thing he left behind was a note that read, I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through.

I'm not leaving because I don't love you. I'm leaving because it's just not working anymore. You deserve to be happy. I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you." Needless to say, I was devastated. But that heartbreak quickly turned into rage when I logged onto Facebook two days later and saw that he was already in a relationship with some random woman that I'd never even heard of. As much as I wanted to reach out, I resisted. Days turned into weeks, and eventually, he contacted me first. He left me a voicemail, slurring and crying about how leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life, and how he wished that he could take it all back.

I wasn't interested in hearing any of it. I'd heard his drunken apologies too many times before. But I let him ramble on, and in the midst of his groveling, an idea came to me. We continued texting and talking secretly over the next week until he finally asked to see me. I agreed. He showed up at my house around 9pm driving his new girlfriend's brand new car. He was completely trashed, reeking of boos and who knows what else. My disgust was real, but I played nice. He made a few sloppy attempts to sleep with me, but I shut him down each time. I did, however, drink with him, part of the plan. Eventually, he passed out cold in my bed. I shook him, slapped his face lightly, even tickled the bottoms of his feet since he's

ridiculously ticklish. Nothing worked. He was out cold. So I moved on to phase two. Very carefully I planted a massive hickey on his neck. A real showstopper. Then I snapped a picture of us lying side by side. Next, I grabbed a piece of paper, put on some bright red lipstick and wrote,

Sweet ride. Hope you don't mind, but we broke the backseat in for you. PS, you're welcome. I sealed the note with a kiss mark and slipped it into the glove compartment of her car. Then I went back inside and drafted a text with the photo attached to his new girlfriend. The caption read, Check your glove compartment. Satisfied, I went to sleep on the couch. The next morning, he woke up groggy and confused. When he realized where he was, he freaked out, panicking over what he'd tell his girlfriend and begging me to keep quiet. I smiled sweetly and promised my lips were sealed. As soon as he stumbled out the door, without even glancing in a mirror, I hit send on the message.

Then OP posted an update. The girlfriend tried calling me for days after that. Obviously, so did he. I ignored both of their phone calls. I figured I'd let him soak in his own misery for a while and let her decide what she wanted to do with his sorry cheating self. Long story short, she ultimately ended up dumping him. He immediately tried crawling back to me yet again. But this time, I told him to shove it where the sun don't shine. The calls eventually stopped, and I've since moved

on to bigger and better things. Lol. Our next reddit post is from Cupcakeparlor. I'm someone who struggles with being overly kind and accommodating, especially on planes. I'm a small person and people usually assume that means they can encroach upon my space on planes instead of just upgrading themselves to a more accommodating seat. Finally, I was fed up and I knew that I no longer wanted to sacrifice my sustainability and comfort for selfish, undeserving humans. I have the window seat, and someone who was boarded quite late comes in pushing her oversized carry-on, winter coat, purse, and shaggy blanket onto me.

She didn't push her carry-on under her seat because it wouldn't fit. She threw her shaggy blanket onto my seat while I'm sitting there. She placed her purse on my feet. She placed her headphones on and closed her eyes as if I'm invisible. I move the blanket and purse back to her side. The flight attendant comes around and tells her about her luggage, which she ignores. They assume she can't hear them. She continues to ignore. They tap luggage, which she ignores. They assume she can't hear them. She continues to ignore.

They tap her shoulder and she ignores. They shake her shoulder and she finally follows their instructions. Before you know it, her coat, blanket, and purse are on my side again. She's fast asleep, elbows flung, and having sweet dreams. I do my best to move her things. Now her mouth is open and she has terrible breath. We're about to land. She's wide awake and on her phone. She puts her gross blanket back on me so she has more room. Finally, I get assertive. She then yanks her blanket as if I'm in

the wrong for not wanting her things all over me and my space. The plane lands, and she gets up aggressively and charges off the plane with a foul attitude. Except she forgot her purse. Normally I would have said, oh hey, looks like you forgot something. But it's not my job to help nasty, entitled individuals. The flight attendants will surely catch her before she leaves the gate. Nope. I see her walk through the food court and through the ground transportation doors. I wonder how far she'll get without her purse.

We have no idea where Opie is flying to. I hope this is an international flight because if this woman doesn't have her passport, she could just be forced to fly back to where she came from. Our next Reddit post is from Love2Bath. I was with my ex for a while. It was an unhappy relationship. I had bladder control issues and irritable bowel syndrome. Whenever I needed to go to the bathroom, my ex would run in first and take their sweet time just to irritate me and make me suffer. It went on for a long time and one day, I just about had it. We had two cats and two litter boxes.

One day, my ex went running to the bathroom and he was just playing on his phone and plucking his face hair, and refused to let me go. So I decided I would just go poop in the cat's litter box. Not only was it a big poop, but I also peed a little. The cats literally wouldn't use that litter box after. And then my ex came and was investigating it and he saw and he goes, Wow, they pooped a lot. No wonder they want their box cleaned.

And I just, I just sat there and watched him clean up my poop and pee. That was near the end of our relationship and he never found out. OP, I can appreciate you causing some sort of, you know, trauma or suffering for your ex here, but what about the poor cats? What did they have to do with this? The poor cats are just minding their own business and then you drop a giant human sized turd in their place of peace and sanctuary. Yo, imagine you go to the toilet and you find out an elephant took a massive pile

dump all over your toilet. That's probably what the cats felt at that moment. And you keep in mind animals mark territory as like a way to, you know, establish boundaries and assert dominance. These cats are probably like way to, you know, establish boundaries and assert dominance. These cats are probably like, whoa, calm down, lady, whatever you want, you win. Please, we're just little kitties. Our next Reddit post is from etio.

I work as a software engineer and in my team, we follow the usual process of writing code, reviewing it, testing it and deploying it. One of my coworkers, Steve, has a habit of taking credit for other people's work in front of management. He isn't a bad developer, but he loves making it seem like he was doing more than he actually was. I'm quite introverted, so I don't usually speak up in meetings unless I have to. Calling someone out directly doesn't come naturally to me, so I usually just let things slide.

During a big project, I spent days fixing a complicated bug. The problem ran deep, and the fix had to work across different parts of the code. If you hadn't actually worked on it, it was pretty hard to follow. After a lot of testing, I finally got it done. At the next meeting, before I could even say a word, Steve jumped in and started explaining MY fix as if it was his. He kept saying things like, we decided to, and our approach was to making it sound like HE was the person behind it. I was annoyed, but I kept quiet.

The next day, another bug popped up in the same area of the code. Our manager turned to Steve and said, "...since you worked on this, can you patch it?" And that's when the fun started. Steve froze. The thing is, if he didn't actually write the fix, it wasn't easy to understand how it all fit together. He had no idea where to even begin.

He tried stalling and even sent me a message asking if I could explain the logic of the code real quick. I told him I was busy at the moment and that I'll catch up with him later on. But I didn't. After five hours of him struggling, he finally admitted in the team chat and wrote something like, Uh, actually, I didn't write this part. Maybe OP can take a look. I replied, of course, I didn't write this part. Maybe OP can take a look."

I replied, of course, I'll check it. Ten minutes later, I had it fixed. Our manager came over and congratulated me. We were chatting for a bit, and before heading off, he made a deliberate comment about how great it was having someone who actually understands what we're working on. Steve didn't say a word. F you, Steve! Kind of guessing here, but based on my reading of the story, it sounds like your manager

actually knew that Steve was stealing credit and was just waiting for an opportunity for Steve to hang himself. Our next Reddit post is from bestspaghettiwestern. I was parked in a student parking structure and was stuck on a phone call before heading out. There was an SUV that pulled in next to me, and for a few minutes, one of the girls had her door open while she was looking through the back seat. The door kept banging into my car and I look over and see that she wasn't paying attention. When all was said and done, her other friend came from the other

side of the car and they both left. I noticed the friend pointing out that her door was hitting my car and that's when she looked and saw me sitting in my car. I shook my head at her after seeing that she was chuckling at the situation. I didn't say anything because I was still on the phone. They were long gone by the time I finished my call. So I pulled my car to park on the other side of her car and proceeded to slam my car door into hers repeatedly until some dents started caving in. My car's super old, so no biggie. But just because it's old doesn't mean people should be careless dicks about it. Anyways, it went fine and I felt

a lot better about the situation overall. Stories like this are so weird, like when two people both buy for the same parking spot and one person gets in and acts all smug about it and they walk off as if they won. But like now you've just left an angry person with one of your most expensive belongings. So they can key your car or piss on your door handle or let the air out of your tires or ding your doors. It's just so stupid to pick fights with people who know where you park your car, you know? Our next reddit post is from Coffee Beans.

My Indian mother-in-law thinks that she's the best cook in the world and that everyone, including her son and daughter-in-law, should beg for her cooking. Well, culturally, I'm not used to a lot of Indian food because of the spices, but I will try to eat the ones that I can enjoy. A lot of times I'll politely tell her that I'm not hungry or I'll munch on some, but sometimes that's not a good enough response and she'll start guilt tripping me with, so you don't like my cooking? Or everyone loves my food, why don't you?

My significant other usually will jump in to stop her, but it always puts me in a weird spot since on day one of meeting me, she told me point blank that she doesn't like Chinese food. I'm Chinese, and it kind of threw me off because there are so many varieties of Chinese food, and for her to say that she hates the entire category seems odd to me. So I recently started bringing food that I made whenever visiting her and telling her how excited I am to cook for her and that I hope she likes my cooking. She usually brushes it off saying she's not hungry or that she'll eat it later.

I turn the tables on her, looking sad and asking her why she doesn't like my cooking. That was r slash Petty Revenge, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit Podcast episodes every single day.