rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Ruined a Jerk's Vacation
Episode Date: July 1, 20240:00 Intro 0:06 My property 1:51 Terrible neighbor 3:08 Age differences 6:55 Comment story 7:19 Dumb boss 9:41 Bus ride 10:25 Backyard 13:20 Fast food line 14L46 Wrong plane Learn more about your ad c...hoices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to r slash petty revenge, where no revenge is too small.
Our next Reddit post is from Lilperse.
Here in Sweden, there's a huge difference in house prices between popular areas and
major cities compared to the countryside.
This meant that I was able to buy a small fixer-upper house at the age of 23 on a very average income
four years ago. There was only me and one other bidder involved and I
eventually won the bidding at a reasonable price. The house is located a
bit outside of town with only one other house next to it as well as an empty lot.
Shortly after moving in, an older guy came knocking on my door.
He told me that he was the other bidder and the owner of the empty property and he wanted
my house to tear it down and make more space for his friend's RVs. He finished by basically saying,
ENJOY YOUR PILOF JUNK! Since then, he spent the most of his summers in a lawn chair next to his
RV on the empty property
with a clear view up my driveway, shooting me dirty looks every time I walked or drove
by.
Now, as I said, this house is a project and I've made many improvements over the years
time and money has allowed.
There's always something that needs doing on the house and I'm also the designated
mechanic for friends and family.
There's usually a car or two getting repaired in my garage.
This means lots of noisy tools.
I've made sure to always start some kind of project when I see him sit down in his
chair.
This has gone on for a few summers now.
He gives me dirty looks.
I make noise.
Only during reasonable hours though.
I don't do anything that he can reasonably complain about.
Today, I continued remodeling my
bedroom and it seems that my circular saw finally broke him. He turned his RV around and pointed
his chair in the opposite direction where there's an actual view as compared to my driveway. I see
this as a total victory. Our next reddit post is from Mystic Darkfire. My neighbor is a complete
butthole to me and his own family so I do little annoying things to him. First, he yells at his family. He screams and throws stuff.
He threatens his 4-year-old daughter who yells back. He hasn't hit them, as far as I know.
He works out outside on gym equipment that's not meant to be outside, and it's rusting. When I see
him out there, he makes sexual gestures and motions at me
and he smirks at me. I avoid being visible to him because of that. He has his friends over to watch
football and because the driveway is steep, his friends park outside his house and block us in
our driveway. So I went out there with birdseed and threw it all over his friends cars. I'm in
Australia and lots of
cockatoos and galas come and they poop where they eat. He drinks and has his music playing until 3am.
So while they have their hangover morning and his wife and his kids aren't home, at 6am I point my
speakers at his house and turn on the high-pitched dog whistle app just enough to hear it. I heard
them yelling, UGH WHAT'S THAT RINGING NO noise? Then they started screaming and they left in their shit covered cars.
I like this top comment. Throw the bird feed on his gym equipment.
Our next reddit post is from Guilty But Honest.
My dad who's 57 started dating Becky who's 25 4 months ago. For reference, I'm his 26 year old daughter and
my mom and dad divorced when I was 24 two years ago. This is my dad's first relationship, to my
knowledge, since my mom and dad separated. My dad has become the proverbial rich man dating
young bimbo upgrade douchebag and it's made my mom feel like yesterday's trash. Him and Becky have such an obvious
transactional relationship that it's been making me question how he sees women. Like, what? Was he
checking out my friends growing up? Is that something I have to worry about now? F you!
I've tried expressing to him that their relationship makes me uncomfortable for every obvious F-ing
reason. But he won't listen and I'm tired of his blatant disrespect and dismissal of my feelings.
So if he sees no issue with it, then I guess neither do I.
This weekend was Becky's birthday and my dad threw a massive garden party for it with
her bimbo friends, plus his friends and his business partners.
And I'm sure he did it so that he could get his creepy buddies set up with her gold
digging friends.
But you know what?
Since that's the vibe, why don't I join in on the fun?
So what did I do?
I found myself an older man and decided to bring him as my plus one.
How old is he?
He's 62, so let's just call him Old Joe.
It's only fitting that if my dad's girlfriend is younger than me, then my new boyfriend
should be older than my dad.
So the party starts.
I'm on my best behavior with my dad and all of his friends, acting like I support it all
when I leave to get my new guy because he just arrived.
It was honestly like a work of art coming back up to my dad and all of his friends sitting
together at the main table, with the birthday girl basically hanging all over him to introduce
them to my old ass boyfriend.
I wish I took a photo of their faces.
I said, what's wrong dad?
You don't look so good.
Becky, you should get his heart medication.
This party might be too taxing on him. And then I sat on old Joe's lap and I made sure to be as shameless as his new girlfriend.
And yes, I felt disgusting doing it, but it was worth it to watch my dad basically throw
Becky off him, which ruined her special day.
I cannot express how satisfying it is to watch him fume from across the table. But what was he gonna say?
And the best part? One of my dad's business partners actually knew old Joe. They were golf
buddies. And before my dad could say anything to me, I made my exit with old Joe because he was
taking me on a private boat ride and we didn't want to miss our port departure. My dad is now calling
me non-stop and I just keep sending him to voicemail. Though I did text my dad to ask
him what erectile dysfunction medication he takes so I could recommend the brand to old Joe.
At this point, I don't care how this affects our relationship because I'm disgusted with him
and his choices. I am satisfied with the payback and I hope he likes the taste of his own medicine."
Also, OP clarifies in an edit that she never slept with Ol' Joe.
She ditched him after the party.
She writes, Ol' Joe was in on the whole thing, but only because he thought that it was kink-related
and that he would be getting action afterwards, which was never the case.
Yeah, I did things I'm not proud of. I took advantage of the guy. But he thought that he
was going to be taking advantage of me, thinking that I was an easy target because I had daddy
issues. So I don't feel bad about that for him. I only slightly feel bad for myself because I
sat on his lap. Down in the comments comments we have this story from Technical Lobster.
My dad, who's in his late 40s, used to say that he would trade my stepmother, who's
in her 40s, for two 20 year old girls.
She responded by saying,
That's a great idea!
Throw a party and your daughters, who are in their 20s, can invite their friends and
you invite yours.
That way your daughters can choose a boyfriend too.
That shut him down
really fast.
Our next reddit post is from different average. So from the age of 16 to 20, I worked at a
24 hour fast food joint. After having worked there for so long, I was very good at what
I did, to the point that I could handle the entire store by myself as long as I needed,
with little to no drops in customer satisfaction or speed. When I was 19, my grandfather got sick, which was really hard because I loved him to bits.
My boss and I were close, so we worked out a deal where he would schedule me a ton and
I would essentially be on call for any time we needed someone to cover a shift.
I would also work a straight 24 hour shift on Monday, which was our busiest day.
As a result, I would get around 10-15 hours of overtime per week, sometimes more.
This actually saved my boss money, because one guy working for 17 bucks an hour time
and a half was cheaper than paying 3 guys 15 bucks an hour to do the same work, which
allowed my boss to make way bigger profits.
This gave him more leeway and reputation with corporate, meaning he would get
bigger bonuses and he would give me a raise around 6 months citing how well I worked. Also, I would
get a week off to visit my grandfather and assist him with anything he needed. The extra money from
my work allowed me to help pay for his treatment. Our agreement went on for a year before my boss
was promoted to regional manager, which was a big jump. He got a raise because our store was making like 15% more than the next highest performer
while being in a less traveled area.
The new manager who took over was a piece of garbage.
My old manager told the new manager about our deal and he scoffed and said that it was
dumb because of how much overtime he'd be paying me.
My old boss just shrugged because even if the store's performance dropped, it would
just make him look even better.
So my hours were lowered to like 30 hours a week.
But my new boss would keep giving me solo 8 hour shifts as well as full 24 hour shifts.
So I was still working the terrible hours but getting paid less.
He also stopped letting me take a week off each month so I could
no longer go see my grandfather. So I quit and the new boss realized how screwed he was.
And I heard from my old boss that the store's profits dropped 15% lower than the next lowest
store in the region rather than district. And that this new manager was shortly fired for somehow
dropping 125% in profits.
And the guy tried to blame me for quitting.
Our next reddit post is from LordFell.
So this happened on a Greyhound bus ride from Seattle to Spokane.
Halfway through, we stopped for a scheduled meal stop.
People getting off left their jackets, books, etc. wherever they sat.
When I re-boarded, I found a fat schlub sitting in my seat. He had removed my
items and placed them somewhere else. This was totally unnecessary as there were plenty of other
empty seats. He would not budge. The revenge. He was avidly reading a paperback book. We had a
rest stop further down the line. When he got off the bus, I went to his seat and ripped out the
last 30 pages from the book and placed it back down. The top post is, nice to meet you, Satan!
Big fan of your work. Our next reddit post is from Valdev.
A couple of months ago, our lovely older pitbull was fighting cancer and we had the painful
decision made to have her put down. She was low on energy at this point,
moving was difficult and getting her to eat was near impossible.
So, one of the only things we wanted to give her was one last day outside in the backyard.
So, the day before she was to be put to sleep, in the early morning, I set out to set up a tent in
our backyard and filled both the tent and our yard with things that our dog absolutely
loved.
I noticed as I was setting things up that the neighbor behind us was placing sticks
and leaves in their fire pit, which normally I wouldn't care about at all, but my poor
dog was having trouble breathing at this point.
I figured that it wouldn't be an imposition to let them know about my current situation
and I asked them if they could postpone the burning for
just one day. The neighbor's wife let me know that they were just going to be burning a few things
to clear their yard and that it wouldn't last very long at all. And she gave me some level of
understanding about the dog. With that, she lit up the fire and the smoke billowed into my backyard.
A few hours go by and I notice they're still outside adding more things to the fire.
I approach them and kindly ask them how long they're going to do this for,
trying to be as patient and understanding as possible. They say they're almost done.
A few hours later, there's a raging fire outside and I can visibly see the husband outside pointing
at my home, yelling, and then adding actual campfire logs,
no longer leaves and sticks.
At this moment, I'm not angry, I'm just sad.
My poor dog isn't going to have the last day that we wanted to give her.
We could take her somewhere else, but the drive would stress her, so we spent the rest
of the day inside.
Later that night, around 9pm as the sun is setting, I go out for a walk and I notice the
damn fire is still roaring. Mind you, as it was with most of the time, there was no one there
watching the fire. At this moment, I'm pissed off and start looking into state laws, city laws,
and everything in between. From this, I find out that my city has an ordinance that clearly
states that a fire pit can't be within 50
feet of a structure.
If I wanted to, I could contact the city and have it stopped simply because no matter where
they place their fire pit in their backyard, it would be within 50 feet of either their
home or my home.
But that revenge didn't seem strong enough.
I was already considering getting a fence installed and I already had multiple quotes.
It was hard to swallow a bill for $15,000 for a new fence.
But within 24 hours, guess what I paid for?
This fence will be installed within the next couple of weeks around the edge of my property
and their fire pit is no further than 10 feet away from my fence.
Can't take a single day away from your fire pit for a dying dog? Well, enjoy
never using it ever again!
Our next reddit post is from Lansor.
One evening I was at my local McDonald's waiting in line to satisfy my cravings for
some real junk food. It was a rather busy night, so the queues were longer than usual.
I was standing about a foot and a half behind the person in front of me. Far enough to not
invade their personal space, but close enough that I was obviously in the queue. This happened before Covid,
when social distancing was a thing. Some smug guy decided that the space in front of me had his name
on it. So he squeezed himself into the gap, brushing up against both myself and the person
in front. From his body language, I could almost hear himself think, what a sucker!
Personal space is for losers who want to wait longer for their meal.
I have about as much respect for Q-jumpers as those who fart in lifts or demand free
stuff because they're social influencers.
So I started hatching my plan for petty revenge.
Should I tap him on the shoulder and nicely ask him to move to the back of the line?
Should I berate him loudly to make everyone gawk at him?
Should I put him in a rear naked choke hold and go all MMA on him?
In the end, I decided that the best revenge was to do nothing.
A few minutes later, he finally reached the front of the line and he began dictating his
order to the McDonald's crew member.
The employee said, I'm sorry sir, this is the pick-up line for those who have already
ordered.
You can place your order in that other queue over there.
Then down in the comments, we have this story from Cake as my mentor.
Years ago, on a trip to Egypt, Artur included one extremely obnoxious tourist.
He annoyed everyone in Artur's group by constantly making derogatory remarks about the people
and Egypt.
He also brought with him a satchel of legal drugs that he proudly showed off to us, mostly
over the counter stuff, but also prescriptions.
He said he wanted to be able to treat anything that might pop up because I wouldn't trust
a third world doctor with a scrape on my knee.
That's when our tour group started distancing ourselves from this man and his wife,
as we all wondered why the hell this guy even traveled in the first place.
Well, we all got our revenge on this butthole one day.
Our tour group was at a very tiny airport going back to Cairo late one night after having spent
the day seeing some ruins. There were two small planes waiting to take one group back to Cairo and another tour group
the opposite way.
When everyone was instructed to get in the proper line to where they needed to go, the
obnoxious guy and his wife pushed ahead to get at the front of the line going to the
wrong plane.
The rest of us just grinned and looked at one another.
We were all so happy that we were getting revenge on that
blowhard butthole. Somehow, he never noticed that his tour group wasn't in his line. We found out
next morning that it took him two flights to get back to Cairo over a six hour period. And he
finally got to his hotel room around 4am and our tour group had to meet at 7am to go to the next
site.
The butthole came up to us and told us what happened and asked us why we didn't notice
that he wasn't in our group and to go look for him.
We all lied and said that we were so sure that he was with us.
You know, the tragically ironic part of this story is if he hadn't pushed his way to
the front of the line, he probably would have noticed he was in the wrong line, right?
Because he would have been in the back and he would be able to see everyone in front
of him and he'd be like, wait, who are these people? But when you're in the front of the line,
you don't see the people behind you and you don't realize you're in the wrong line, you doofus!
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