rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Sent My Rude Neighbor a Glitter Bomb!

Episode Date: May 23, 2020

r/Pettyrevenge In today's story, OP has a douchey neighbor who is rude for no good reason. The neighbor plays his music way too loud and is confrontational when OP asks him to turn it down. So, OP decides to get some petty revenge by sending him a glitter bomb! He folded the package so that as soon as the guy opens the letter, glitter will spill everywhere! It's a tiny revenge, but oh so satisfying! If you like this content and want to see more, hit the follow button for more  daily Reddit podcasts! Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsxAp7J8nGQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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on the same points vet app, the platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Petty Revenge. Back in high school, I dated a guy we'll call Jared.

After school, Jared and I would hang out at his place with a group of three to five friends. One girl in our group of friends was...interesting. We'll call her Trixie. Trixie was a petite girl whose entire personality revolved around being cute and petite. Also, despite being in a relationship herself, she was clearly into Jared. She would claim that things were too heavy and ask only him to carry them, comment on how tall he was compared to her, asking for piggyback rides just general nonsense that made both of us sort of uncomfortable. I wouldn't tolerate this now, but we did at the time because we like hanging out with our boyfriend. Well, it being that time of the month, I bought a new box of tampons to keep under the sink. It was one of those

variety packages that includes different sizes, important for later. Later that afternoon I went to grab one and noticed that 6 or 7 of the light tampons were already missing. What the hell? Then I realized Trixie had been going to the bathroom a lot. Being so aggressively petite and adorable, I guess she considered it beneath her to use regular tampons. When we hang out the next day, she finished all the light ones. I was wondering what she'd do when she approached me off to the side and asked if I had any more. I quietly told her no sorry, but she could always use a bigger size so she wouldn't have to change them so often.

She answered very loudly, looking right at Jared. Oh, I can't use jumbo tampons like you. I'm way too tiny. What the hell? I guess she thought it would sound sexy or something? So what did I do? I hid the entire box of tampons in his room and replaced it with a box of diaper, thick, maxi pads that I only wear to bed.

The next time she went to the bathroom, she was in there a long time, probably searching for the tampons I'd moved. When she finally came out wearing one of the diaper-sized pads, she crinkled like a freaking newspaper whenever she walked. Jared, knowing full well, asked the room at large, what's that sound? She left shortly afterward. She also cold-childrened me from then on, which was just an added bonus as far as I was concerned. As a cherry on top of the cake, I heard through the grapevine that

she's gained at least 50 pounds since high school. Bet you don't ask other people's boyfriend's or piggyback rides anymore, huh, Trixie? Our next reddit posted some cake pee. When I was 13, so 8 years ago, my dad remarried after divorcing my mom 4 years before. Before the divorce, his fiancee had been his mistress. My mom is completely better off without him, and ignoring the fact that I wouldn't exist, I don't think she would have married him in the first place. Even if I think my parents weren't a good match, that's no excuse to cheat on your wife. My dad's new wife was effing vile in all sorts of ways. She constantly belittled me, made fun of the fact I needed to take pills for my mental illness, despite being an

effing pharmacist, I don't get it either. And was generally awful to me in my siblings. But she was a decade younger than my dad and reasonably hot, so he didn't give a flip how she treated us. The one time he actually listened to us about her is when they were thinking of having a baby, and my brother said he'd ask her mom to super full custody of us if they did. So anyway, they got married. I was a bridesmaid because that jerk had no real friends. The other two bridesmaids were her sister and my sister.

My brother was the best man because she didn't like my dad's best friend. He and my dad still don't talk to this day, even though the guy was like an uncle to me as a little kid. It was a wedding, everything went normally. But at the beginning of the reception, before the first dance, we were taking pictures in front of a chocolate fountain,

looking like the happy family we never were and would never be. I'm on the autism spectrum and have a problem maintaining eye contact. That extends to looking at a camera. So when we had to retake a photo because I wasn't looking, she leans down and whispers something in my ear. I'm not going to repeat it, but it involved the R word. I don't like saying it. Anyway, I kind of snapped and decided she was gonna pay for this. No one noticed, or at least no one called me out when I started slowly moving the chocolate fountain towards the edge of the table. When it got to the edge, it makes contact with the back of that

pure white wedding dress and slowly drips down. By the time she notices it looks like she's pooed herself. But for all anyone else knows this was an accident. She has no spare dress and that stain is not coming out. So first stands cutting the cake, speeches everything. This woman has what looks like a poo stain on the back of her dress. It was a small revenge, but it was so worth it. What's supposed to be the happiest day of this stupid woman's life, and she's gonna remember that stain every time she thinks about it. They never did get the stain out, and nobody knew it was me. Until now, I guess. Hi family, if you're reading this.

Suzy, you're a grunt and you deserve that chocolate stain. Opie, the best part about this story is that you can kill two birds with one stone. After ruining the wedding, you can take the photos, frame them, and present them to your mom as an amazing Mother's Day present. Our next reddit posted from Porn Man's Yacht Club. One day I came home from work and someone else's car was parked out front of my house. No matter, I park outside my neighbor's house. When I wake up the next day and go out to my car to leave for work, there's a note tucked

on my windshield. I unfold it and it reads, DO NOT PARK YOU EVER AGAIN OR ELSE. In a font SO large, it takes up the whole page of paper. I folded it up, placed it in my glove box, and there it sat for nearly a year. Until the day he parked out front of my house. I tucked the note he left me on his window and went to bed. The next day as I was enjoying my morning coffee, I watched my neighbor's wife go to get in the car and noticed the note. She read it with a puzzled look that quickly turned to rage. I thought she would storm over to ask me about it, but apparently she recognized her husband's

handwriting and went to ask him. He had to sheepishly explain to her that he left it on my car and she brought him over, tailed between his legs to apologize. We had a beer. He stared at the floor the whole time. It was cool. OP, I'm impressed, that shows a masterful level of patience. Our next reddit post is from Got him with glitter.

I teach kids online, so naturally I have to be on the phone and video chatting with them. I'm working one day, and my neighbor decides to start blasting music and I instantly can't hear my students anymore, so I go outside to ask him to turn it down. He has the speaker on his front step just cranked all the way up. Here's how the exchange went. Um, excuse me, can you turn down your music? I'm on the phone with a student. Your music is a little loud. So?

So? I'm on the phone. I can't hear my student. So? I'm trying to do my job. I'm working. So? So can you please turn your music down? Yeah, I'm fking doing it. Get back to your house. He was confrontational and angry from the second I started talking and clearly had no intention of turning it down.

So I just walked away and as I'm walking away, he was like, you want to do it like that? I'll effing to it like that. I was just so baffled that this guy would be such a butthole for literally no reason immediately. I'm trying to do my freaking job and he hurt my feelings so eff that guy. I mailed him a homemade glitter bomb. I folded it up and glued the edges so he'll have to pull it open and the glitter will explode everywhere. These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup, sell it, and gollic home. Oh my God, me, I gotta move on up in.

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With all this COVID-19 going around, I wanted to share something my mom found on her front lawn a few days ago. Some jerk decided to make my mom's front lawn his new garbage bin. There were like three to four bags of household trash thrown across her driveway and into our neighbor's yard and driveway too. I know, gross, right? garbage bin. There were like three to four bags of household trash thrown across her driveway

and into our neighbor's yard and driveway too. I know, gross, right? Lucky for her, she looked through some of the bags and found he had left all of his personal information inside the bags, like bills, credit card numbers, and phone numbers. Just saying, if you have no problem dumping your garbage on a 71-year- old woman's front lawn for her to clean up Don't be surprised when you get a cleaning bill from the city My mom is calling the city tomorrow for them to find him as far as I know our city finds for dumping started $500 and go up our next reddit post is from Caribbean Kit Kat our three children have been social distancing at home Since school closed in our state in March we have three moody a 15 year a 15-year-old girl, Magellan, an 11-year-old boy, and the dictator, a four-year-old boy.

The husband and I are essential workers and are gone a lot, and things at home have been collapsing into a pseudo-Lord of the Flies. About Magellan, he's on the spectrum and is genuinely one of the nicest kids you'll ever meet. He's kind, compassionate, absolutely brilliant, and will find something good about every person and every situation. His ability to find joy in small things makes me so grateful for him. He's one of the kids bullies will fight to protect. If he ever got into a fight, he would literally say, that was bad, and I'm upset. Kid looked really nice today before he hit me. I say all this to say

that it takes a lot to piss Magellan off, but if you do, the result will be a precisely calculated revenge plot. Anyway, the husband and I keep telling Moody not to ask the boys for their snacks. She's the oldest and the boys adore her. This usually results in her getting whatever she asks for, through some combination of harassment, manipulation, and guilt. It is unfair to them and we wanted to stop, but with work, we just aren't at home to see it all. On Friday, she asked Magellan for the chocolate milk that came in as lunch delivery. He said no, and she started her two-day campaign of harassment, none of which we knew about until Sunday night when she asked in front of us for the chocolate milk. Magellan looked disappointed, said, fine, and handed the milk

to his sister. It happened so fast that we didn't even react. She slunk off to the kitchen to enjoy the spoils of her victory. Magellan did nothing when she left the room, but sit on the carpet and smirk. What Moody never stopped to consider was the fact that Magellan hates chocolate milk. He hates it so much in fact that he never bothered to refrigerate the carton. He instead stashed a chocolate milk in a bookshelf and let it cook for two days all while she harassed him.

The calm demeanor and the smirk on his face was him simply waiting to hear the screaming coming from the kitchen. When she opened the carton and took a sip, Moody did not let him down. Within seconds, screaming erupted from the kitchen, punctuated with gross disgusting and, oh, am gee, Magellan! Magellan didn't move from carpet, and instead sat still and said in his quietest voice. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tough hit, eating her curds in way, before bursting into maniacal laughter. It was glorious!

He exploited her obnoxious behavior and coolly planned his vengeance. He fell the teenage monster in a way that the adults haven't come close to. I am proud of that boy. Our next Reddit post is from GT2810. This happened quite a long time ago when I had my first office job. I did fairly well and after a while was promoted and got my own room. With it came my own phone line. The day after it was installed, I arrived at work to find the message light blinking.

I checked and the mailbox was full with 20 messages. Odd, I thought there must be some mistake. There sure was. Message after message from people wanting to book a chalet. While I was still checking the messages, call started coming in. Hello? Yes, I want to book a chalet. Do you have one available for this weekend? Uh, you have the wrong number. But this is name of company, right? No, this is an office in town.

But the number is this phone number? Yes, that's my number, but this is an office. We don't have anything to do with shallets. But I want a book of shallets. We don't do shallets. You have the wrong number. But your number is such and such, right? Yes, it's my number, but this is an office, not that other company. We don't do shallets.

So the conversation went, and the moment I hung up, another call came in, and another. I had the phone off the hook all day. The next day, I decided to put the phone back. It rang immediately. Hello? Hello, I want to book a chalet. You have the wrong number. Is this such and such phone number? Yes, that's my number, but this is not the company. But this flyer has this phone number. Flyer, what flyer? This flyer for a special offer on all chalets between these dates. So I handed the call and looked for the main line of the company. I called them and told them I couldn't do any work because of all the calls that were coming in.

Because they printed MY numbers on their flyers. I said to them, so you printed MY numbers on your flyers. My phone is ringing nonstop. I can't get any work done. That's not possible. Do you have a flyer or the artwork? Yes, I'll just have a look. And... Yes, is that my number on your flyer?

Um... Uh, yes, it must be a mistake. I'm sure it is. A big one. What are you gonna do? The flyers have all been given out. There's nothing we can do. How many flyers were printed? 10,000?

They couldn't do anything. They didn't want to do anything. I asked them to pay for changing the line and they refused. They didn't offer anything and even asked me to direct all the colors to them at the correct number. So I started answering all the calls. It took a week, but I told everyone we were fully booked till the end of the promotion. I love this top comment from OddSocket. You could have been evil. Hi, yes, I'm happy to take your booking. No, no deposit necessary. Grab a pin though, I'm going to give you our

complaints number in case there's an issue after check-in. Our next Reddit post is from Lemon Slothcake. Me and my friend went to see Aquaman last month. We buy our usual seats, middle seats in the back row, and then head into the theater. As we get to the back row, we realize that there's an old couple sat exactly in our seats. Instead of telling them to move, we decided to sit on the end of the back row instead. But now the screen is off-center. So we move our O4 and sit in the center off by two seats, just so we are sitting directly in front of the couple.

We settle into our seats when suddenly I'm tapped on the shoulder. I look up to see the old lady standing above me and she says, Are you settled now, girls? In a stern tone. I open my mouth to reply, but before I can she continues, You're hopping all over the place, where are your seats? This is rude! Now I was annoyed. I was trying to be nice and non-disruptive, but the old cron was being so rude. So I stand up, pick up my things and gesture my friends to come with me. We get to the back row,

and I walk right down to where they are. She asked me what I was doing, so I pulled out my phone's flashlight and showed them the tickets, then pointed to the numbers on their chairs. You're in our seats. She started to sputter about how they were there first, but we just stood there waiting. They weren't budging until they saw a cinema worker enter the screen. The old man apologized, but the old woman just continued complaining about kids having no respect.

But we got to enjoy the movie in our seats, worth it, even if the movie was garbage. That was our Slash Petty Revenge, and if you like this content then follow my podcast because I put out new podcasts every single day.