rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge I Tricked The Office Food Thief Into Eating Worms

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

r/Pettyrevenge OP has a slight problem: someone at work keeps stealing food! Nobody knows who this mystery food thief is, so lunches keep getting pilfered. OP also happens to be a fish owner, so he comes up with a bright idea. He puts bloodworms into the freezer, which are frozen in a red block to look like a popsicle. The food thief falls for it and takes a huge block out of the frozen blood worm block! If you like this podcast and want to see more, follow my podcast for more daily Reddit content! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit today Subreddit is our slash petty revenge our next Reddit posts from aren't and Vanabi This revenge was an intentional, but it was truly satisfying. In our office, we had the typical problem, food thief. I ran out of milk faster than I should have. One of my two yogurts once disappeared. My piece of pie was bitten, numerous cases. I bought a small fish tank with a macropotus fish. He was a predator, so I bought him some blood worms. They were frozen and portioned into nice, cherry-colored candy-sized bricks.

Can you already see where this is going? I'd thrown away the box, so they were in the inner package with no identification marks. I kept them in the fridge and every day I took half a brick. And one glorious day, I found out that the fresh brick that I was going to chop in half had its corner bitten off. The clearest human teeth markings I've ever seen.

I never knew who that was, but I imagine how that person takes a bite of candy. Feels it melting in their mouth, wonders what's that taste and texture, and why isn't it sweet, spits it, and sees that these are bloodworms? Oh, how satisfying. I made sure to tell everyone in the office about it.

Loudly. It gives me a huge grain every time I remember it. Down in the comments, we have this story from Johnny Walla. Decades ago, I had- Sorry, this is a good story. Decades ago, I had friends who used to make chocolate magic mushrooms. A friend of theirs stopped off on his way to work to buy some for a Weakened Camping trip. As it was summer, he didn't want them to mill so he put them in his lunch bag and left them in the staff fridge. Midway through the morning, one of his co-workers crawled out of the midsroom,

screaming that he had gone blind. They ended up calling an ambulance form. My buddy checks his lunch bag and sure enough, half the chocolates were gone. The chocolate bandit regained his sight and while the hospital attributed to something he ate, they never did figure out it was magic mushrooms. I've never heard of magic mushrooms making people go blind, so my guess is that he ate so many magic mushrooms that this dude was absolutely tripping balls and just thought he was going blind. Serves this guy right. Our next reddit posted from all father.

I work at a logistics company and my job is to find drivers to take freight from A to B. I work with the same trucking companies a lot, but sometimes I get one off drivers. This is one of those. A truck driver calls me asking about a load for the next morning coming out of Laredo, Texas, going to Portland, Oregon. What's the rate? We can pay 3500 on it. How about 4,000?

Sorry, the customer has strict about the rate on this one. It has to be 35. Oh man, I need this. I need to get home to see my son and my wife is sick. Then we need 3500 on it. The customer will not go higher. The guy ends up taking it. If you think I'm being too hard on him, keep in mind there really isn't a whole lot hitting from Texas to Oregon at any given time. So I could try to get him his rate, but I'd risk losing the load to another driver. If he really needs to get back, why does he want to go back and forth negotiating on price and risk it? The answer is because he's full of garbage. The next morning, I get a call from the customer saying that they've changed the facility that's receiving the

freight. It's still going to be in Portland, just in a different space. Something like a 20 to 30 mile difference, tops. It should be a complete non-issue considering the driver has just started a 2,200 mile journey, so it's a drop in the bucket. I call them back. Hey, just a heads up. The receiver call to say that it's going to deliver to a different address in Portland or again. Oh, well, you can send my rate confirmation with a little bit more money. What do you mean? The agreement's changed, so I need to renegotiate. Seriously, it's like a 20-30 mile difference from the original one.

20-30 miles is kind of a long way to go. Okay, what do you think you need for the new rate? Uh, $4,000 should do it. Oh really, the original rate you wanted, huh? Wow, what a coincidence. Are you serious? It's only fair. I put the driver on hold just to spite him

for trying to handle me like that. And I start working on something else. Out of curiosity, I check the address for the original delivery facility compared to the new one. Turns out, the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to the shipper in Laredo. The new travel distance is 2,175 miles. I pick his line back up. Hey, we'll change the rate up after all. Okay, send me the confirmation. Okay, we ran the miles and the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to Laredo. So, we ran the miles and the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to the radio. So we're gonna need to reduce the rate to $3,000. What? What are you talking

about? Well, we're cutting 25 miles off the trip and it's kind of a lot of miles to cut. It's only fair, right? Uh, uh, um, so that 3500 still good, right? Of course it's still good. I'm not going to change the rate by 500 bucks because of a 25 mile difference. I'm not a butthole. Our next reddit poster is from Stormdancer. First, just FYI, in most handicap parking spots, there's a place next to the parking spot marked off for loading and unloading wheelchairs. In the US, it's usually painted with diagonal stripes. On to the story.

My son and I were at Walmart, and as I parked, I saw that a new BMW convertible owner decided that the stripe spot was set aside for him. I looked, and there was no sign of a placard or handicap tag. This pissed me off, and I stood about at the whole time we were shopping. When he was still parked there when I came out, I decided to get spiteful. I found a piece of paper and left a note on his windshield that said, so sorry. I didn't mean to scrape your car with my wheelchair. I would leave my contact info, but you were illegally parked blocking my van.

So good luck buffing that out. We sat in the car another 20 minutes and waited. Out came this guy looking like a personal trainer. He came jogging up to his car, chatting on his phone. He saw the note, screamed, oh shoot! Then he spent the next 20 minutes going over his car, inch by inch. Rubbing every speck of dust or dirt, he was still looking when we left. Nothing harmed, no damage, just a lesson hopefully learned. Our next reddit post is from Bradley Driven. This was the end of senior year of undergrad.

I was rather studious, never missed a class, paid attention, turned in every assignment on time and got good grades. This other kid in class was nice enough, but a slacker. Would Bing his phone all class and was the worst group teammate? Throughout the term, we would say high in passing, but that's about it. Desps in the class were the type where two people sit together, and while there were no assigned seats, students tend to sit in the same seats all semester. So it struck me odd that when I sat in my seat, well prepared for the final that Mr. Slacker immediately sat next to me. The exam was to be 80% scantron multiple choice and 20% essay, and was to be 50% of our final grade in the class. I had

a strong feeling that the extent of Mr. Slacker's exam preparation was his plan to cheat off of me. The professor was so lax, he sat at the front reading during exams. Sure enough, every time I turned a page, he turned a page. When I would fill a circle, he would fill a circle. Some students huddle over the papers to fend off cheaters, I leaned back, making it exceptionally easy for him. The only problem for him, though, was I would make a tiny dot next to the correct answer and fill in the wrong bubble for all 80 questions. Not surprisingly, we finished the multiple choice section at the exact same time, and I moved on to the essay section.

Mr. Slacker, however, felt that 80, or maybe a few wrong of the total 100 was good enough, and he went ahead and turned in his exam, skipping the essay section altogether. I finished along answers corrected my scan-tron and turned it in. I did NOT hear his name called a graduation. You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 a new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now boarding business class. American Express, don't do business without it.

Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum. Even for your sister and your brother Chad, ah shoot! We didn't realize you were supposed to get a gift for our dog, Parker Guy. We almost forgot about her that disbucked a curve. We didn't expect to get a gift from her. Or our cousin might forget his name. He got us something nice, better isn't it per' date. The last minute deals on gifts for people you forgot. Get past the free shipping at Amazon! Our next Reddit post is from FIFA Fears.

This happened when I was in elementary school. My school was very strict about bathroom and water breaks and didn't trust us to not wander the halls. I wasn't the smartest child, but I was perfectly behaved. I never asked to leave unless I needed to actually do something. Never use the nurse to get out of class, especially since it was my mom, and always listen to the teacher. One day in art class, I was feeling nauseous. I didn't verbalize this because I thought I could deal with it myself. I didn't want all the extra attention.

In my head, I thought, sometimes I feel better after drinking some water. So, in the middle of working on my art project, I walk up to my teacher and ask, can I go get some water at the water fountain? No, she replied. I sulked back to my desk and kept working on my project. It started getting worse and worse, so I walked up to my teacher again and asked in my best brown-nosing tone I could muster. Can I go to the water fountain, please?" She responded, no, go back to your seat, don't ask again. Then I got that feeling in my stomach. The one where you know it's too late. I puked all over her shoes and outfit, and then I was in to go talk to my mom about how

I puked all over my teacher and wanted to go home. Down in the comments, we had this story from Bebon. This happened to me in kindergarten. I was feeling sick, and apparently it didn't look like I was paying attention, so the teacher called me to the front of the board to give the answer. I walked up to the front, stood there for a second, then vomited waffles all over her shiny black shoes with everyone looking at me. Good times.

Our next riddup postage from DwaSafar, and for context, it takes place on a plane. Once, while seated in the second row, I had my briefcase placed in the space between the first row and the wall. As we neared the end of the flight, the man in front of me suddenly turned around and said, you need to move that before we land. I know this, they make the announcement on every flight. But something about his tone just pissed me off and I said, I'll wait for the announcement. He gave me a hostile glare. I asked you nicely. No, prick, you ordered

me rudely, but whatever. I saw him trying to flag down the attendant to report me and eventually he did catch one's eye, at which point I silently whist the bag away out of her view. He didn't notice it because he was watching her approaching. He gave her his aggrieved complaint and then turned around to point at... nothing. She looked over the seat at me and I made the universal finger twirling to temple... what a loony gesture. She gave me a sympathetic look and walked off, leaving the man to stew. Our next reddit post is from Umbra joke. This happened this afternoon.

Today was BALLSHOT and between my car's AC not working and my body's habit of sweating puddles in anything over 70 degrees, my mood was already a bit thin. I was picking up some items from Home Depot and parked halfway in a quarter full parking line. Plenty of open spaces around. I haven't gone to the store much in the past few months, so while I was trying to remember the personal protection equipment order of operations, I absent mindlessly let my key slip from my lap to the cup holder. I'm all kidded up and go get my stuff from the lockers and head back to the car. I start

patting my pockets and feel that little ball of fear rolling around the pit of my stomach. I started walking faster, and as I get to my car, I see my keys in the cup holder. I'm standing there staring through the window while sweating buckets from the 3 minute walk annoyed but I contact roadside assistance and get a truck dispatch quickly. As I'm leaning against the front of my car, a van comes down the lane on the opposite row and pulls into the spot right in front of my car. As the driver starts pulling close to my legs, I shout, hold it and put my hands out. She stops the van about a foot and a half from me and looks pissy, like hitting me would have inconvenienced her plans for the day.

I look around at the nine other open spots all next to her or behind her in the area and gesture towards them. She gestures at me and mouths. Why? I guess she was asking me why I'm just standing there and despite it not being any of her freaking business, I say I'm locked out of my car. She sits in her car for five minutes, just adding to the heat around me while I dick around on my phone. Eventually, she gets out, scowls at me and goes inside. About 20 minutes after she went in, my tow truck shows up, but it's on the lane opposite me. I was feeling a bit petty, so I stopped the guy right behind the van not thinking anything

would come of it. Well, right as he goes to get the tools, van lady comes out of the store. She was lividly muttering to herself as she gets in her car and turns it on. I explain the basics of the situation, and the Toe-Tuck driver looks around at all the other open spots and sheer confusion when a mischievous grin comes across his face. He starts opening the door, taking a few extra minutes to make sure he does it right, and then has me sit in his air-conditioned cab while he feels on an order form because his phone was acting up.

The dude probably took an extra 10 minutes to do his job while Van Lady is stewing in her annoyance. I appreciate the solidarity and threw him a few extra bucks for the service. He then made sure I got to leave first before rolling out. Dear Toetrack guy, you rock! I would imagine Toetrack drivers get yelled at by entitled people on a nearly daily basis. So I'm sure that he was equally pleased that you handed him this win. Our next Reddit post is from CorporateSlave. I was waiting at the elevators.

They didn't take too long since my apartment building isn't that big. I got inside and right when the door closes, a hand pushes through. She looks like your typical middle-aged Karen. She presses the 17th floor and she takes one look at my floor, which was on the second. She scoffs, glares at me and says, the second floor, really? It doesn't take too much to piss me off. Her comment was so unnecessary and uncalled for. Who cares if it was a second floor? It's my decision whether to take the stairs or not. I just finished an overnight shift and I was exhausted. I guess my exhaustion made me extra moody because when I reached my floor she was scrolling through her phone. I quickly

run my hands through as much buttons as I could and I say, have fun jerk right when the door closes. And because I was extra exhausted, therefore extra moody and petty, I pressed the up button when the elevator barely reached a third floor so I can use the other elevator and press a bunch of buttons again to further inconvenience her just in case she decided to get off on the third floor and take the other elevator. Take the stairs in if it's not that big of a deal. Just don't be effing rude to your neighbors for writing the elevators to the second floor. You don't know if they're exhausted or

if they have non-visible health conditions that make it hard for them to take the stairs. The top comment of this thread comes from I like to walk and it reads, I hope she had to pee. That was our slash Petty Revenge and today we've got a shout out. I'm shouting out people who follow my podcast and who leave me a voicemail on Anchor FM as a way to say thanks for supporting my podcast. So thanks Jess for supporting my podcast. I really appreciate it. Hi Arslaj, my name is Jess and I'm one of your Canadian fans so I'm super polite, eh? I just want to let you know that I love your videos and your podcast and I want to thank you for all the content you put out every day. You've introduced me to a lot of subreddits that I wouldn't have found without your videos,

and I'm really enjoying the difference and variety in genres that you put out. I like to listen to your videos while I'm at work, I work in a char, and I'm working from home right now, so whenever I'm doing really repetitive tasks, it's good to have your videos or your podcast on the background. Thank you so much for that. I hope you're staying safe and healthy right now and giving lots of love to your family and you go. Again, just thanks for what you do and I look forward to hearing your shout out. Bye!