rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge My Mom Hired Thugs to Beat Up my Bully

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:10 Grabby guy 1:08 Lying punishment 2:54 Top comment 3:04 Beat up the bully 4:31 Gifts 6:56 Homeless dad schemes 10:18 Exposing an affair 11:44 All the grapes 14:32 Secret fattening Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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destroying another man's balls. Our next reddit post is from Ladybug. For context on this next post, OP is a woman. I was out at a club hanging with some girlfriends when a group of guys walked past. My girlfriend looked uncomfortable, and I asked what was wrong. She told me that one of the guys in that group had grabbed her butt. I asked which guy and followed them inside. I went right up to the guy and questioned and asked,

hey, did you grab my girlfriend's butt? To which he smirked and responded, yeah, so? I didn't even think before I was reaching down to grab him by the balls. Hard. He was screaming while I shouted, yeah, you like that? You like being grabbed by strangers? I noticed his friends laughing and video recordings, so I went up to one and dramatically tried to start making out with him, which he was disgusted by. Security escorted me outside, but they were laughing. They said that what I did was hilarious, but they had it handled.

They didn't kick me out, but told me that it was probably for the best if I went home that night. Our next reddit poster from stinky fish chits. When I was in my early 20s and online dating was just starting, I made a profile and said that I was just not going to be into two things, smokers and people with kids. Just those two things. You could be anything else, and if the chemistry with kids, just those two things. You could be anything else, and if the chemistry is there, then we're all good. I meet this guy early in the morning for a breakfast date, and we're hitting it off an

average amount. No sparks, but no red flags. The date goes on for two and a half hours until we split the bill, and he tells me that he has a kid. I ask him if he read my profile to know that I was not interested in that. And he says, yeah, I read that. But I knew that if you just spent some time with me, you'd see how great I am and how you'd be willing to see past that.

I was floored because now he had wasted three hours of my life and he was okay with being a liar. That was unacceptable to me. I said, well, I don't want this date to end, but I have to go across town to get my Brazilian wax done in one hour. Wanna come with me and get one done too? It's not painful, which is a total lie, and I think it's attractive on men to be clean there. No pressure, but I'm pretty busy the rest of the week, and this is my only free day. He was all about following me anywhere. I told the ladies at the clinic that this was his first time, and that they should take

everything, including the butthole hair. He held my hand between a curtain, and we both got them done at the same time. He screamed a lot, but he was a champ and went through with it. I made him pay for his own and I never called him again. If you're out there, Chris, please don't lie to women on their first date. It's a really bad way to start a relationship. I love this top comment from Backup Username. You told me that it wouldn't hurt. Yes, but I know that if you just spent some time on it, you'd be able to see past that.

Our next red-apposer from such caterpillar. When I was in third grade, my childhood bully was in the same class and lived in the same neighborhood as me, but he failed two grades. This is important context because I'm a girl and he's a boy, so imagine how much bigger he was to me. We lived in townhouse condos in the 80s,

so not many people had AC, so most people left their doors open and left their screen door shut. So one day I was walking to my friend's condo to see if she could come out and play, and I hear some screaming and pounding, and I just happened to look because it startled me when I see his little sister fly across the room. I go back home and call my mom, who of course calls child protective services and the five kids get taken away. Apparently, my bully had been roughing up his younger sister. Well, somehow, my bully found out that my mom called CPS, so at the bus stop before school, he's sucker punched me. It crumpled me to the ground.

Later that day, one of the kids went straight to his mom and said that OP got sucker punched by the bully at the bus stop this morning. That mom called my mom and told her the whole story. So my mom went to the worst area of Detroit to hire two kids the same age as the bully for 20 bucks each to come beat him up and tell them to never look at me again. Then she dropped off the hired kid thugs in front of the bullies place. That's how Italians deal with things. Our next reddit post is from the anti-grinch. This year I got a new job that's been paying me very well.

Therefore, for Christmas I decided to splurge on everyone. In particular, I spent a lot of money on my 9-year-old daughter, and she deserves it 100%. She's been pushing herself in school, helping around in the house without being asked, and is always the kindest soul that you'll ever meet. However, when my mother-in-law came early in the morning and saw that the gifts under the tree were much more than usual, she asked why. I told her that I bought everyone a bunch of gifts, including her. She then proceeded to ask how many gifts I got my daughter, and I told her about three big gifts and three

small ones. Apparently, this outraged her because she started saying that a nine-year-old didn't deserve that many gifts, and she'd be taking away the gift she bought my daughter so that my daughter wouldn't be too spoiled. I told her that was unfair, especially since my mother-in-law promised my daughter a doll for Christmas and my daughter was looking forward to it. My mother-in-law said, Let it be a lesson to your daughter that in life you can't get all the things that you ask for.

Look, I understand that, but it's not like I shower my daughter and gifts every day, and if anything, Christmas is the day that you're supposed to spoil your kids. But my wife told me to let it go, and it was her mother's gift, and therefore, she could do anything she wanted with it, and her mother agreed saying that it was her right. And if we're gonna play with that ideology, then so be it. I decided to remove the $600 designer bag that I got my mother-in-law, the thing that I knew that she wanted the most, and gave her a $40 robe instead. After my mother-in-law opened her present, she was disappointed, asking if that was all that she got from me,

because everyone else got increasingly more expensive gifts from me. I said yes and apologize if I was disappointing her, but we can't always get the gifts that we hoped for. This left both her and my wife extremely furious. But hey, the mother-in-law got enough gifts and I wouldn't want to spoil her. You know, what's even worse in the grandma being a bad grandma to her grand-kids

is your wife not having your back in both situations. Not only does your wife not have your back, but she also doesn't have her daughters back. Sounds like the wife in this story takes after her mother. Our next reddit post is from OKOPening. OK, so my dad is technically homeless. My dad was only actively in my life between the ages of zero to seven, and in that time he gave me a ton of trauma. He was a hard core alcoholic manipulator and a lot of other things that I can't say. My mom, being the badass

that she is, left him, but I still had to do weekends at his place. It was a never-ending cycle of him drinking and being a piece of garbage and then buying us over with animals and gifts. After getting several DUIs, unpaid child support, and a few child endangerment cases, he up and left to avoid going to jail. Like disappeared. He just left the animals locked in the house that he abandoned and shut off his phone. Every few months or so, he would randomly show up at my school to rank and crying with gifts in hand or leave notes on our door. My school literally had to implement a safety plan because my mom

was scared that he would take me. Eventually, he stopped doing that, and I didn't hear from him for about 13 years. When I was 20, he messaged me on Facebook saying that he would love to get to know me, and asking if there was anything I needed financially. My initial response was to be sick to my stomach and cry, but that quickly turned to anger. I was broke and could really use some money, and I mean technically he owed me, right? I told him that I would meet and that I needed money for rent. When I saw him, my stomach turned.

He looked like the crazy guy you see on the side of the road begging for money. He really didn't make much sense. Just talked a lot of trash about my mom, saying that she was a liar and turned us against him and mumbling nonsense. Apparently his brother, which is my uncle who I never had a relationship with, would no longer give him money, but he would wire transfer him money for me. He told his brother that I needed 1,500 bucks, and he told me that he would take 500 and give me a thousand.

My dad's cheap burner phone ran out a minute, so one of the calls to his brother was made from my phone. Of course, my dad didn't have an idea or anything, so I had to go with him to pick up the money. When someone wires you money, they get a code, they give you the code, and voila, you get the money. My dad wouldn't give me the code until we were physically at the place to pick it up, which we planned to do the following morning. The next morning, since I now had my uncle's number, I decided to text my uncle and ask him directly for the code.

I got the code, picked up the money, and blocked my piece of garbage father. He made sure to leave me some deranged voicemails about how big of a piece of garbage I am. He pretty much used me to get money from his brother. If he really wanted to be in my life, he would have taken the proper steps to do so in change, but he never did. I'm not denying that what I did was awful, but also F my dad. Good for standing up for yourself OP, but also, I can pretty much guarantee that once you actually got the money in hand, there is no way that he was going to be okay with just $500. I'm sure he already had some scheme or a lie cooked up to finagle you out of the remaining

$1000. Also, OP, why not reach out to your uncle? It sounds like he kind of cares about you, so even though you've lost a father, maybe you could pick up an uncle. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice?

Yes, we deliver those. Golden Tenders No, but chicken tenders yes, because those are groceries and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert,

this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Our next Reddit post is from iconic res. My upstairs neighbor has been having an affair with a married man for about four months now. Normally, I wouldn't care, but since this is on a fair, he comes over at odd hours of the night, and they passionately hug very loudly. Their noises wake me up and prevent me from sleeping. How do I know that it's an affair? Because he's never spent the night, and his car has baby car seats in there.

So, for backstory, I've had issues with my upstairs neighbor prior to this. She would throw parties on Monday nights, she gets home at 2 a.m. from work, pacing her condo, and having loud phone conversations. She's 40 years old, throwing parties with 20 year olds, and having affairs and living like a teenager. I tried to talk to her like a normal person about my concerns, but she doesn't care, and I've had to get the association involved to stop the parties. I hate her. So, I decided to learn some more about this mystery man. I looked up as license plate, found an address, searched the address, and found a name. I took the name and did some

social media stalking, and found the man and his wife's profiles. I made a throwaway account and messaged the wife about the affair. I haven't seen the guy for a few weeks and I'm sleeping really nicely. Opie, cool revenge and all, but you're super lucky that your plan didn't backfire because what if the guy just moved in with his mistress full time and then you'd never sleep? Our next reddit post is from Music Catnip. My parents rent a house on a quarter acre of land. Nearby land with rows of graves aren't being rented to my parents, but the landlord

lets us pick the grapes and juice them every year. The only access to the grapes is through the land that my parents rent. Before my parents moved in, this old lady, Maureen, used to pick the grapes with their family and juice them. As a side note, Maureen has her own grapes, but she likes to use our landlords grapes too because the previous tenants didn't. Every effing year, it's a battle to make Maureen wait for her turn so that we could pick our share.

The landlord has been clear that we get first dibs on the grapes because we're his actual tenants. We always leave her at least one row out of four. Every year she tries to be a sneaky little B word and get the grapes, but this year was the worst. My mom told Maureen that she was going to pick the grapes this weekend. Well the weekend came and went without being able to pick the grapes. My mom's helper crew got sick. My dad was recovering from major surgery and my mom couldn't find the time pick the grapes. My mom's helper crew got sick. My dad was recovering from

major surgery and my mom couldn't find the time or the energy. The crotchety old Marine calls my mom to tell her that she's coming tomorrow to pick all the grapes that we didn't. My mom asked her to please wait a few more days because her husband, my dad, has cancer and her helpers were sick. Maureen's response, that's too bad. You had your chance. My family is coming tomorrow and we're picking those grapes. Of course, my poor mom loses it at this point

and begins screaming, shame on you Maureen, you call yourself a Christian. Maureen continues telling her that she had her chance. So my mom came in and told me this story. I said, absolutely effing not. We're staying up as late as we need to pick every single grape off the vines, every single one. Me and my mom each called as many of our friends as we could. The troops are being gathered. We now have about 10 people to help us pick the

grapes. We'll pick every single grape so that when stupid marine and her stupid family show up, there won't be one single little fruit left on the vine. We're pulling an all-nighter for those grapes. Also, I was wondering why marine is so obsessed with the grapes and opiates in context. Apparently, marine is 92 and she believes that she'll live forever because

of her homemade grape juice. So that's the reason that she's going crazy about this whole thing. Maybe she will live forever, but that would suck because she's a butthole. The ironic ending to this story is if OP took the grapes, made magical eternal life grape elixir and then gave it to her dad so that her dad could be cured of cancer. Thanks for the tip about the magical life elixir, Maureen. My dad appreciates it. Our next reddit post is from I'm Jacksreddit. I've known my friend Bob since high school. We're both in our forties now and we ended up briefly working for the same company, but at different locations.

Sometimes employees travel to different locations for training and whatnot, and a little over a year ago, my buddy ended up here for a half day of training. My friend has a list, and he's self-conscious about it. He was teased in high school, and it affected his self-image and self-esteem. The guy is all-heart, and really is a cool guy if you get to know him. He's a bit overweight, and pretty self-conscious about that, too. I wasn't here the day that Bob came to train, but the next day I went to the front office with two of the secretaries to say good morning like always. We had good rapport.

And they were talking with a fake list and absolutely cracking up like it was the funniest thing in the world. I knew that my friend had come by, but I asked them anyway what the list was about. These two buttholes didn't know that Bob was one of my oldest friends. They could barely keep a straight face about how the guy from the other plays sounded like a loser who would probably never find a woman. He looked greasy, he was fat. Can you imagine what he would sound like in bed, lisping and sweating. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Stuff like that. I was pissed, but I kept a good poker face. I kind of chuckled and said something to the effect of, you guys are terrible. They seem proud of themselves. These two buttholes have a sweet tooth. For the last year, I have been relentlessly bringing them donuts, chocolates, Starbucks drinks was so much sugar

they could give an elephant diabetes, ice cream, ice cream cakes, chocolates, Starbucks drinks was so much sugar they could give an elephant diabetes, ice cream, ice cream cakes, candy, anything that has calorie dents and sweet. It is not hard to make these to eat. I just say stupid cliche funny stuff like, diet starts tomorrow or if you take small bites there's fewer calories. They laugh and eat. No joke, they've each

gained about 40 pounds of peace, and now they complain about stuff like finding clothes and being tired all the time. One of them was even spilling her guts out to the other about her husband not wanting to sleep with her anymore. Bob never found out about what they said. He left the company for greener pastures shortly after the incident. That was our Sash Petty Revenge, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.