rSlash - r/Pettyrevenge Porch Pirate Steals A Box of Poo!

Episode Date: April 18, 2020

r/Pettyrevenge In today's video, OP's packages keep getting stolen by a porch pirate. She's pretty sure that the porch pirate is actually living in the same building, but it's impossible to prove because the cops are completely uninterested in helping her. So, OP decides to take matters into her own hands and constructs a stink bomb box filled with poo and rotten food. Steal this, porch pirate! If you like this video and want to see more, hit the subscribe button! Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sp5fO_steE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See you after details. Welcome to our slash Petty Revenge, where an entire grade of students gets Petty Revenge against their school. I haven't inconspicuous dash cam on my car, because I live the daily hazard of driving in the city. petty revenge against their school. I have an inconspicuous dashcam on my car because I live the daily hazard of driving in the city. Yesterday, a woman walked out in front of

my car from the side, completely disregarding the moving vehicle and the fact that I don't know, maybe I didn't effing seer? I stopped more than 15 feet from her, but came to a screeching halt because it scared the F out of me. She came up and banged on my window. I shouldn't have engaged at all, but I cracked it and apologized for scaring her, then started to drive off. She continued beating on the side of my car and screaming at me. Chased me down to the parking lot and screamed as she was calling the police. I hung out, not saying anything until they arrived. I gave them my info, showed them the dashcam footage, and was promptly dismissed to go about the day. Just as enough for me, though I do wish I knew what happened to her.

Then Darren 7 or 3 says this down in the comments, I've had the pleasure of using my dashcam to my advantage in a similar situation. The best thing you can do is let them lie to the police. Then, once they're done, inform the officer you have a dashcam. There's nothing better than seeing the face of the person that just lied their heart out to the police as they realize they're about to get screwed by video and audio footage. The outcome is even better when they're accusing you of committing a crime. The worst the false accusation is is the worst that fall out. Single party consent states are the best.

Our next reddit post is from Arrow Kim. Okay, so I've been living in this house for two years, and the neighborhood is very quiet and safe, so I don't have something to complain about. Except for the little bastard that my neighbor just got, and for clarity, OP means a dog. Apparently, his designated place to poop is right on my porch. And I wouldn't care if the owner was just a little more considerate and cleaned up after her dog finished. When I first started noticing the poop, I cleaned it, thinking it was a stray dog or something. But then one day, I was on the porch myself,

and the little bastard came out of my neighbor's house, saw me and returned. My neighbor must have noticed that her dog returned too fast, so she went out of her house to check what had scared the dog, and there I was. We made eye contact, and I nodded. I had a feeling, so I remained sitting on my porch for a little more, and there she was. Peeking through the window to see if I was gone until it the little bastard poop on my porch. After some time, she finally gave up and put a leash on the dog to take him to poop somewhere else. By the way, she didn't carry anything to clean whatever her dog produced, so yeah, she's

a disgusting person. I was pissed! Not only was she aware of what the dog was doing, but she was waiting for an opportunity to let him do it again. I wanted to talk to her to see if we can resolve this but apparently communication wasn't going to work in this case. So I decided I would scare her a little bit. I was going to ask her politely but the landlord has already done that a few times and this woman just brushed it off. My boyfriend got to my house just at the time my neighbor was unpacking some stuff from her car on the other side of the parking lot, which is divided by a wall.

Making sure that she was able to hear me, I started telling my boyfriend that I'd seen a dog on my porch several times, and that it didn't have a collar. So I believe that he must be straight, and I decided that I should eat the dog, since it was culturally accepted in my country to eat them if they don't have an owner. I then described graphically which method of preparation I should use and what ingredients I needed to add. I said that all I needed was to wait for the dog to appear to lure him to my house and start cooking him. I couldn't see my neighbor's face, but I would have loved to see it. Plus, I don't see your dog around anymore. Oh, P, that's a brilliant plan, and if she ever goes back to her old habits, I would just recommend taking a dump on her front porch.

Our next reddit post is from porch pirate hater. My area has a problem with porch pirates, and the cops are thoroughly useless. Your camera isn't good enough to prove the thief's identity, the stolen package wasn't valuable enough, there's always some excuse for just letting it go. At least one lives in my apartment complex, but management can't even make a case for eviction without the cows being willing to at least say, yeah, that's our suspect. So the problem only seems to get worse and worse every week. Today I got hit, again.

It was a $5 package of sewing supplies. It was looked at my doorstep with photo-proof, but by the time I got out there, it was gone. Now, I'm sitting here in the middle of a crisis, making a point not to go out to a store for anything I can wait for. And some jerk-off saw my attempt to not get them sick as a golden opportunity for free stuff. So I'm just sitting here thinking, well, gee, that's rather rude. But I wasn't gonna dwell on this. I had chores to do. Namely, my cat's litter box is needy cleaning. So I got an empty mailing box and got to work. But there wasn't really enough to fill the box, so I started thinking,

do we have anything else similarly awful around here? And that's when I found my jar of failed sourdough starter. I didn't close it well enough, a couple of bugs got in and predictably ensued from there. I'd been dreading cleaning that jar out for months. I'd had it sealed up to kill the bugs and keep us from smelling it and I considered throwing it out altogether, but it was a nice jar, so I didn't want to do that. I finally decided to get it over with and clean it out. The jars in the dishwasher as we speak. As for the contents, they're finally going to good use.

And just to make it clear how I felt about this, I left a little note with an applicable quote. Keep the change, ya filthy animal. I put some plastic wrap over the top of everything to keep the spoiled bread juice from soaking through the box when I flipped it back over. I opened the box from the bottom to keep the mailing labels intact, left the note in there, and here it is, the first of possibly many lovely gifts for the neighbors. Sadly, but also fortunately, there's no way to share smell online. So I'm just gonna say I've been in portapoddies that smell better than the

end result. Sure enough, the package is gone. Then down in the comments, evaluative conflicts has this story. We've been doing some renovations, which is leading me with rubble and old wood I can't dispose of in residential trash. And being on a shoestring budget, but trying hard to not cut corners where it counts, a dumpster is not where I want to waste money. When Christmas came around, I gathered up all the expensive looking boxes from the blocks for cycle bins. Xbox, PlayStation, TVs, laptops. I've been cramming them full of construction debris, I don't want to pay to get rid of. After an hour on my porch, someone comes along and

steals it. I've been finding this really effective. Our next Reddit poster from StatsJetI. This is a tale of Petty Revenge I did not commit, but I got to observe and enjoy first hand. I picked up some groceries at our local market and was in the checkout line. In front of me was Karen on her cell phone, loudly complaining to the person on the other end about the lack of choices in the store, and the lack of toilet paper. During checkout, she talked trash about the lack of choices in the store. And the lack of toilet paper. During checkout, she talked trash about the grocery store and its employees all but ignored the cashier and then stalked off in a huff as soon as she paid.

As the cashier began to ring out my groceries, he noticed that Karen had forgotten to take a package of chicken she'd paid for. Barely raising his voice he called out, ma'am, you forgot your chicken. He made a show of looking around and then said, oh well, I guess she's gone. Once some free chicken, petty revenge chicken tastes pretty good. Winner winner, petty revenge dinner. You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express

You can earn 820 dollars in new value and more which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight American Express don't do business without it terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum without it. Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum. So you think you know sports? Points vet is the sportsbook for you because we've got the features for true competitors like live same game parlias. Use your sportsmarts to make picks live on the players and teams you're watching. And qualified bets can use our early cashout feature. So you

could take your winnings to play live blackjack on the same points bet at. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Our next reddit posted from Wondering Womble. I saw a couple who had filled their trolley with toilet roll arguing with an elderly couple who had asked for one packet because there wasn't any on the shelves and they'd ran out. Those two were a right piece of work and being quite abusive to the elderly couple. I went over to the elderly couple and told them to finish their shopping and then I would come and find them. They go off and the butthole couple carry on what they're doing. When their backs are turned,

I grabbed two packets out of their trolley, go and find the elderly couple and give it to them. I then went and found a shop assistant and told them about the butthole couple being abusive to the elderly, and when they get to the checkout, their trolley is taken from them and they're escorted out by security. This has made me extremely happy. Our next reddit position, Wigglewagon. Years ago when I was a youngster, just starting to make my way in the adult world, I took a job at a machine shop. Since I was the new guy and a lot younger than the rest of the crew, I had to put up with a lot of practical jokes as a type of initiation hazing. It was all in good fun,

mostly, so I went along with the jokes knowing that the guys would give it up after a while. I was right, and after a few weeks when the other realized that I was a decent sword and they could rely on me to hold up my end of the work, they used up on the teasing. All of them, that is, except for one guy. He was the shop butthole and resident troublemaker, and while most people got along with him, no one really liked him. This fellow was bald as an egg, without a single hair on his head, and because we were an intellectual group, he was given the nickname Baldi.

When the rest of the fellows quit teasing me, Baldi doubled his efforts and his pranks took on a mean-spirited quality. Tools I needed would go missing, or he would accidentally bump the emergency stop on machines I operated, causing me to have to reset and reload the job. It got to the point that his harassment

was degrading the quality of my work, and every time I called him on it, he just told me to do something about it, trying to provoke a confrontation. So, I did something about it. I figured the best way to deal with this guy was to turn the tables on him. Give him a taste of his own medicine and make him look foolish in front of the other employees. This was an industrial setting, so everyone wore the usual protective gear. Hardhats, gloves, safety glasses, the works. At break times, Baldy was in the habit of putting his gear in his toolbox, topping the pile with his upside down hardhat. When we broke for lunch, I filed out to the break room with the rest of the crew. Then, doubled back into the shop

through another door. I went straight to Baldy's workstation and filled the bottom of his white hard hat with at least an inch of a similarly colored half-and-half coffee creamer. I double-check that a casual glance of the hat wouldn't raise suspicions, then rejoin my fells and had a very nice lunch. Break time over we all went back to the shop. I hit around a corner, giggling as Baldi geared up to start work. He picked up his hard hat and plopped it on his head. As he did so, all that half and half ran down over his safety glasses and over his face in thick, sticky streams of goo, making him look like the guest of honor at a bukkake party. He stood there sputtering and cursing at the top of his lungs while the rest of the group

got that around him laughing and shouting encouragement. Baldi always hated me after that, but never messed with me again. And no one called him Baldi anymore either. He'd always hated that nickname, but I think he would have readily gone back to it if he could, because his new nickname among the crew was Money Shot. Our next Reddit post is from point five ratio. It was a fairly normal public school on the smaller side. Lunches were only 30 minutes long.

There were just over a hundred kids in a single lunch period, and we were all pretty tame kids. At lunch, we had lunch aids. They were ladies who patrol the lunchroom, keeping an eye on us, pulling the bad kids out to the office, et cetera. They would also check your lunch card

before lining you up along the wall behind the calf material into a separate door that led into the lines where you get your food. They would only call one table at a time to get food, and the next table couldn't go until everyone was back in season from the first. They would snap at you if you made a mistake, and if you lost or broke your lunch card, they would make you go sit down and wait until the very last of the other kids had gotten their food. I was one of those who lost their card and had to wait 15 minutes and take the walk of shame. Here's where the petty revenge comes in. One day, the whole seventh grade class, the entire lunch period, decided that it wasn't

fair to treat us like that and hatched a plan. That Monday, we'd all pack our lunches. Every single one of us who could. Word had spread to the entire lunch period by the end of the day. That Monday lunch rolled around and the cafeteria fell silent. Tables and tables full of packed lunches. Even most of us who didn't pack stayed in sat behind with us. We watched as maybe four or five kids got up to get the school's lunch. The aides were visibly confused and angry with us, and we hid our laughter through bites of our peanut butter and jelly and lunchables. One of the lunch aides called the vice principal. He pulled out the microphone

from the front of the lunchroom and got our attention. To paraphrase, he lectured us with, this is not how you deal with things. If you have a problem with the way something is handled, you come talk to us. This is a waste of food. The lunch ladies put a lot of time into making this food for you, and so on. In the end, it worked. We were let up with or without a card after that. We all knew our lunch card numbers anyway or had them written on paper. We all ate our packed lunches in victory that day and returned to buying our hot lunches the next. Man, what I can't figure out is, why did the vice principal actually praise the kids? These kids organized a very practical non-violent protest.

They didn't hurt anyone, they just let everyone know that they weren't cool with the way things were working. And the vice principal tells them that's not the way to handle problems. What should the kids have done? Started a food fight? Our next reddit postage from Joe loves bacon. Before I start, for some background, I work at customer services at apartment lead. And I'll say my hardware store practices the rule that says, we reserve the right to refuse and limit any returns for any reasons very often. With that being said, a caron slithered into my store with a water heater that was around 800 bucks.

She hissed at us. I went and written it. I asked if she had a receipt. She asked why does she need one and I said to do the refunds since it was over 50 bucks we would for sure need a proof of purchase. She groaned and dug around in her purse and called me a moron, etc. She was already rude for no apparent reason. I was kind of already in a pissy mood that day, so I decided to have some fun with her being a butthole by being a butthole

back to her. When she presented the receipt, I looked to the receipt to find any possible reason to deny her return and saw it. It was bought at a store 50 miles away, with items at expensive, we normally ask the customer to return to the point of sale. So I told her, you can't return the item at this store, you need to return this item to the point of sale, which is the Riverside store. When she heard this, she hissed at me in anger something to the effect of, no, I went to return it here, I'm not driving that far for a refund.

She proceeded to yell at me and my associates further, calling us rather offensive names and whatnot, until she asked for a manager, so I got one. But I made sure to call my manager who has the same mindset of denying returns, just like me. When my boss came, he saw what was going on and he was on my side. He told her the same thing I said and she cursed us all out and slithered off to hell. As soon as she got to the parking lot, we all began laughing. That was our slash Petty Revenge and if you liked this video then hit that subscribe button

because I put out new Reddit videos every single day. Reddit videos every single day.