rSlash - r/Prorevenge BEHOLD! I Am Become Cookie Monster!

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Cookie 1:26 Settlement 3:54 Cable company 6:05 Spaghetti girl 13:52 Coworker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I've coordinated a complicated heist to ensure my capture of one of my sister's prized cookies, which are intended for her friends. In 14 minutes she'll take the cookies out of the oven. At that point I'll have approximately 15 minutes until the cookies have cooled enough for me to take one. However, my sister plans to move those cookies as soon as they've cooled, so I need to intercept them before she can lock them away in her plastic container, yet after she removed them from the plan. How will I do this? I will need a most villainous distraction. Now, my sister is best friends with a boy named Matthew. If he were to call, she would drop everything

and answer the phone. As such, I've reprogrammed my home caller ID to say Matthew when I call the house. As she moves to answer the phone, I'm already en route to take the cookies. I steal three of the twelve, dump the rest on the floor, and let the dog eat them. I then rush back and re-edit the caller ID. My sister sees the dog eating the cookies and suspects him while I eat three cookies in my room, free of suspicion. Muahahaha! Our next Reddit post is from RealMatiYahu. So my father's a lawyer who makes 80% of his living taking cases where people have been taken advantage of.

Not all of his clients are poor, but many are. Like an elderly gentleman scammed for $1000 by an insurance company or an agent. Or someone who's charged an extra 3% for a mortgage. So this woman who bought a townhouse in a new development came to my father for help. Her new house immediately developed a mold problem from a leaky roof. It was about $5,000 in damages, which was not a big deal for a developer who just built 200 houses. So my father writes a matter of fact letter to the developer explaining the situation and requests that he just fix it.

My father didn't even ask for money. It literally just took him 30 minutes to listen to the woman's story and then read her sales contract and another 30 minutes to draft the letter. So the developer comes back with, I'm not responsible for the subcontractor or his work and it's in the sales contract. There's nothing you can do. You can't even sue me." The contract was not written very well and possibly even onerous, which means not fair and possibly even invalid in certain respects. But my father took the point.

This developer is a greedy butthole who thinks that he can bully people. Now my father's client was one of the very first people to buy and move into one of the 200 units built. And every Sunday they had an open house where prospective buyers came around to see the units and speak to the sales team with a small office in a truck container. My father instructed his client to make a photo album of the damage, as if the mold was getting married. Pictures galore of every instance of damage in the house. On Sunday, my dad and his client showed up with the album

and stood on the sidewalk next to the sales office and invited every single person who walked by to have a look at the album. They did this two Sundays in a row, after which they received a letter from the developer practically begging them to let them fix the damage. Apparently, they closed the sales office and had the vast majority of the units yet unsold. I don't recall the exact figure, but my father got a cash payment from the developer as well. And of course, the leaky roof was fixed. Down in the comments we have a real dad quote from 1zulu Delta.

The difficulty that comes from hard work pales in comparison to the difficulty that comes from failing to work hard. Our next reddit post is from CompileCommit. My old TV finally broke down, so I got a new smart TV. A couple of weeks later, I realized that no one in the family watches any TV channels. Everyone just uses streaming content. So I decided that it's not worth it to pay for the TV connection anymore. Now, my TV connection is added into my phone plan along with my internet as well,

so disconnecting it wasn't straightforward. It was a custom plan with its own dedicated relationship team. I had to call the team several times to find a resolution, which was to convert the TV connection to a prepaid one and then stop recharging. After the conversion was done, I got messages for a few weeks to recharge and then finally a message to return the set-top box. I responded to that and in a few days, the box was collected from my place. Good riddance, or so I thought.

Next, I started getting calls from random call centers asking me to recharge. This felt different from the dedicated relationship team. I Googled this and found out that this had become the practice in my country. The company had outsourced this part of the support to a third party, and they simply checked from the printed database about people who had a connection but didn't recharge last month. Since my disconnection was in the middle of the month and their printed database was from the beginning of the month, they didn't have this updated info.

I tried my best to tell them about this to no avail. So I started talking to these callers, telling them about a fake problem that my TV was having and that multiple support requests had fallen on deaf ears. The third person who called me finally took this seriously and booked multiple support requests had fallen on deaf ears. The third person who called me finally took this seriously and booked tech support. I got a call from a field tech who came by. I greeted him with drinks and I told him about the real issue that I didn't even have this service. We had a good laugh. He suggested that I keep it up a few more times for good measure. After 8 tech support visits, they finally got the message.

I got a call from a supervisor asking why I was booking tech support when clearly I didn't have a connection anymore. I just emailed this supervisor all the recordings of the calls I'd made with his tech supports. He was pretty annoyed, but I stopped getting these phone calls. Our next reddit post is from Christian Sear. This happened a few years ago on Facebook Marketplace to my dad. I was just a kid at the time. My dad told me about this story one week ago when I asked why my birthday present a few

years ago disappeared mysteriously. Oh man, I was not prepared. So I was 13 at the time, now 19. I was hooked on Minecraft and me and my dad spent quite some time on the Xbox 360 version. I got good grades in school so my dad decided it was time for us to switch to PC. My dad already had a pretty good PC for his work as a programmer and IT administrator and he wanted to get me a cheap laptop. We had a hard time and almost no money, so it had to be cheap and used. He saw an offer on Facebook Marketplace from a girl that he and

my mother met at a club that he was DJing at a few years back. Let's call her Spaghetti Girl. She was selling lots of stuff because she moved in with her boyfriend and her kids. Among that stuff was a cheap laptop. Nothing fancy. It was pretty scuffed and according to her, the only thing that didn't work was the network port. Not a bad deal for 54 bucks, so worth a shot. My dad contacted Spaghetti Girl and wanted to pick up the laptop just in time for my birthday. When the day came, he went to the agreed spot, but she didn't show up.

She called later that day and told my dad that she had to wait for her boyfriend to wipe the hard drive because she didn't trust my dad. My dad assured her that he had no intentions to snoop around in her stuff and he could help her with that. After all, he's an IT guy. No, my boyfriend worked for the CIA and he's a hacker. Yeah right, A CIA hacker in Germany by the name of Hans Huber. Okay, fine. She insisted that the laptop still works and just the network port was busted. After one week, my dad picked up the laptop, paid the 50 bucks and headed home. He couldn't test it on site because the battery was dead.

Back at home, the laptop was, of course, dead. He opened it up and found a mixture of nicotine, coffee, and undefined fluids. Close your eyes and imagine the sound of a velcro strap being pulled open. That was the sound the keyboard made when he tried to lift it up. I still remember that sound because I stood next to him and wanted to get my laptop going ASAP. I cried the whole night. Of course, my dad contacted Spaghetti Girl right away. She insisted that he must have broken it because it worked yesterday and that she also wanted 10 bucks for the bag that she gave him with it.

My dad was calm on the outside, but he locked up his office door for four hours and instructed us to not go in there for the next few days. Remember that my dad was an IT administrator at the time? Turns out he's pretty good at his job. He was a guest lecturer at some universities and held talks about data recovery on conferences. My dad plugged in the still good hard drive into his work PC and had a look. Of course, Mr. Hacker had only formatted the drive. He recovered some files to look for any logs that would indicate the laptop had worked yesterday.

The last files were from half a year ago. Everything indicated that the laptop was dead for at least half a year. On the second evening, when my dad was looking for evidence, he stumbled across some pictures. One of an elderly man with a guitar, a few from the nightclub back in the days. I remember how I heard my dad laugh inside his office. But I wasn't allowed inside and the door was locked. That upset me back then, but now I understand. Spaghetti girl had some pictures taken of her with some spaghetti meticulously rolled

up into a circle on her breasts. Lots of spaghetti, with a blob of sauce in the middle to cover up the nipples. Her boyfriend was sitting next to her with some chopsticks. I mean, who in the world eats spaghetti with chopsticks and who pays a photographer to take pictures of that? My dad tried to ask her for the money back and even offered to help and get her files back. He didn't mention the spaghetti pictures.

She went on to attack my dad publicly on Facebook, stuff like there's this guy such and such who tries to blackmail me. What should I do? No, I don't want to see your pictures. Oh, P's dad's name. And to top it all off, when my boyfriend learns about this, he'll hack you. A few private messages followed. Shut up about that stupid laptop and give me 10 bucks for that bag or else I'll tell

everyone that you wanted to R-word me. Also a few insults. My dad had enough of that. He suspended his Facebook account and went silent. He almost lost his job and family over this, but he was smart enough to save all the chat logs with her. That way, he could prove to my mother and his boss that he wasn't blackmailing anybody. And he also wasn't sending nudes to anybody.

Not yet anyways. After a few months, my dad had a new Facebook account and everything was back to normal. He landed a new job, didn't add his boss on Facebook this time, and he didn't use his real name. He even joined the old nightclub alumni group on Facebook to connect with a few friends from back in the days. One beautiful day, he finds a new post in the group by Spaghetti Girl asking everyone for pictures of the good old days.

Because a thief had stolen her laptop and tried to blackmail her with deleting the pictures. My dad kindly responded. He had this evil grin on his face when he told me a few days ago. Oh, hey Spaghetti Girl. Long time no see. I have quite a lot of pictures from that time. I found them on an old hard drive.

Even some of you and your boyfriend at a nice pasta dinner. And a few screenshots with old chat logs. Do you want me to send them to you on DMs or should I just share them here? Nah, just share them here. As you wish. The fallout. Her Facebook blew up on that day and the weeks after. A few things happened.

First, her friends dropped her. They all cut ties with her. Turns out, she had pulled off a similar thing with a bouncer of that nightclub, got him fired and expelled from their group of friends. Spaghetti Girl and her boyfriend were quickly both tagged in all the pictures by their former friends. Even her cat was tagged in one of the pictures. Also, turns out the guy with the chopsticks in the picture wasn't actually her boyfriend. It was actually the guy that she was cheating on her boyfriend with. So when the boyfriend saw those pictures, things got really rough. My dad never noticed this in the pictures, but Spaghetti Girl had laid out quite a bunch

of drugs in the background of her pictures. Weed and pills in a Ziploc bag. Once this minor detail was discovered, people told the police, CPS, and both of their parents. The police couldn't do much, but Spaghetti Girl's kids were taken away for a while. I don't know what happened afterwards. A few of Spaghetti Girl's colleagues saw that post, so she had to quit her dream job of being a cashier at Aldi soon after that. She had to break up with her boyfriend and moved across the country if her new Facebook account is to be believed.

She renamed her Facebook account to the name of her cat. I know, I'm being a spiteful prick over this, but I think she got what she deserved. All over 50 bucks. For my 17th birthday, I got a, at the time, brand new computer. With, of course, no spaghetti pictures on it. My dad and I still play Minecraft together. He's now a software developer at a bigger company, and we have no concerns about money. We're not rich, but we're not paycheck to paycheck. Not all heroes wear capes, but my dad does. Our next reddit post is from seagullfanclub. I work in an office with a guy I'll call Seth. Seth is that co-worker that everyone knows. Lazy, always passing his work on to someone else,

and somehow always getting away with it. He'll sit around on his phone or go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. He's the kind of guy who will show up late, make some lame excuse about traffic and then disappear for lunch for two hours. For the past six months Seth's favorite target has been me. He'll send me emails asking if I can help out with the project. But what he really means is, you do all the work while I take the credits. I complained to my boss a couple of times, but somehow Seth always managed to weasel his way out of trouble. The final straw came when he passed off a major

report that was due to a client in two days, dumping it on me last minute. One day, I casually asked him if he was good with Excel and he admitted that he didn't know much about it. Perfect. The next time Seth tried to dump a bunch of spreadsheets on me to organize for his next report, I agreed. But this time, I embedded a series of hidden formulas into these documents. These formulas didn't do anything important, just enough to mess with the numbers if someone didn't know how to check for hidden cells. It took me a little time, but I was careful not to make it too obvious. The kicker?

Every time Seth tried to copy and paste the data into his report, it would scramble everything just enough to be completely useless. On the day the report was due, Seth slacked off like usual, assuming I'd handled it like always. When the client called, furious because the report was filled with nonsense numbers, Seth panicked. He rushed to fix it, but every time he tried to fix one part of the report, something else would break. He came to me, frantic, and asked for help. I acted confused and said, Oh, I don't know what happened. Maybe it's a glitch. I gave him some vague advice and watched as he spent the entire day trying to salvage

his mess. Our boss found out and for once Seth couldn't talk his way out of it. He got lambasted for screwing up such an important project and was put on temporary leave without pay. I guess he'll be doing his own work from now on. That was r slash pro revenge and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. Get ready for Las Vegas style action at bet MGM the king of online casinos.

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