rSlash - r/Prorevenge I Blinded a Jerk with a MEGA Flashlight

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

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These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash per revenge where OP maybe blinds a guy permanently Our next reddit post is from fitness grand pacer beep I was driving home from work and traffic was backed up pretty badly for a few miles It was stop and go. When I get stuck in traffic like that, I'll usually back up 75 feet off the car in front of me so that I can hold a pace and move it a slow but constant roll. Kind of like what the semi-trucks do.

That way, I'm not participating in the bumper to bumper move and break like the rest of the smooth brain drivers. Some dude in an Accura crossover was behind me, and I guess he was getting upset because I wasn't two feet from the car in front of me driving like a smooth brain, so he gets up on my butt and starts beeping his horn at me. Lowl, I think to myself as I turn up my radio. But then he starts flashing his brights at me, which is where I get annoyed. He's in one of those Accuras that has the super bright LED headlights.

My car is much lower than his, so his low beams are already pretty bright in my mirrors. Bright enough that I don't want to look in them. The first time he flashes high beams, it puts spots in my vision for a moment. It genuinely hurt my eyes. After the first flash, he waits for about 10 seconds, beeps his horn, and then flashes me again. Now, I'm getting pissed. I'm thinking, where the F do you want me to go? Do you really think being 2 feet from the car in front of you will make traffic move

faster? Then, he flashes me for a third time. But this time, he held them on for about 15 seconds. Time for the gloves to come off. During those 15 seconds, as I'm looking away from my mirrors, I see my 14,000 lumensurge lights sitting in my passenger seats. At which point I'm immediately overcome by a wave of chaotic lawful excitement. What he's just said in motion cannot be stopped. I think to myself, oh buddy, you just opened

the wrong can of worms. You're gonna learn today. I grabbed the flashlight and I set it to its absolute max 14,000 lumens brightness setting. This flashlight has a sensor in it to automatically dim the light if it's facing down on a table, because otherwise the diodes would get so hot they would melt the lens. This 14,000 lumens setting is so intense that the 57 watt hour battery can hold it for about 180 seconds. Then the flashlight automatically notches down to a measly 9.5K lumens. During those 180 seconds the light will burn

through 15% of its battery power. For reference on just how bright this is, the literal effing suns amidst illuminosity of 11,000 lumens per square foot on a bright and clear day. I turn around and aim it straight out the back of my rear window. My car is pretty noisy, so before I turn it on, I rev up my engine to make sure that Captain Smoothbrain is eyes forward when I violate his retinas with the full force of an afternoon sun. I hit the power button, and I can only imagine the freight train of shock and pain that plowed over this man. It was so bright that his automatic headlight shut off because his car thought that it

was daytime. With the light on, I could see him clear as glass through his tinted windshield. He was covering his eyes and looking down, probably screaming. I watched him try to flip down his sun visor, but his hand couldn't find it, and I thought to myself, burn you mother effer, burn. I imagine my facial expression was similar to that of a six-year-old roasting insects with a magnifying glass on a bright summer day. After about 5 seconds of blinding light, I took mercy and shut it off. He proceeded to back way the hell off and move over to a different lane. Was this an unsafe thing for me to do?

Absolutely. Was this illegal? Almost certainly. Was it warranted? Without question. Possibly the highlight of my year. Drive safe and don't be a dick to the car in front of you because they might just have the tools to teach you a lesson.

Okay, so this thing is literally brighter than the sun. Then I would have to imagine that could do like permanent damage to this guy's eyes, right? Because looking at the sun for any amount of time, even just a split second can damage your eyes, and if this thing is brighter than the sun, then OP, you might have permanently blinded this guy at least partially for the rest of his life. Our next reddit posted from Cermopulous Michael. Background, I used to work at a small to mid-size law firm. At the time, there were 10 lawyers including the owner. The owner's setup was basically to do as little work as possible and just take a cut from the rest of us independent contractors.

He was very much a, it doesn't matter what they can afford, bill as much as you can, type of scumbag. One thing the firm handled was real estate law. I rarely looked after any real estate transactions, save for maybe 2-3 per year over the 2 years that I worked there. When he decided to fire me, he had a list of reasons, all of which were fabricated, client complaints, mis-court dates, etc.

It came down to me asking for a bigger cut and him not wanting to have to pay it. I felt that it wasn't worth going after him in court. However, shortly after my contract was terminated, I was reviewing my insurance, and I stumbled upon the fact that no less than 60 real estate transactions were filed with my bar under my name. Well, one of the rules where I practice is that in a situation like this, my name has to be on the retaining agreement, and I have to have worked on the file in some capacity. So, using my old connections at the firm, I got the phone numbers of these clients who weren't actually mine, and I asked for a copy of the retainer

for my records. Most of them had no problem sending me a copy. Obviously, I was on none of these contracts. I quickly contacted the bar association. The whole thing ended up being a mess for the owner. After he got an audit by the bar association, it turned out that he had done this for every lawyer in the firm. He eventually was ordered to pay an absolutely insane fine, think high six figures, and he had his license suspended for a few years. His firm shut down and he never went on to practice again. Feel good. So the writing on this isn't super great, but I think what happened here is that this guy was saying that his ex-employees were working on these contracts because then he could bill them and get all the money himself.

I mean, on the surface it seems like an okay plan. The problem is his plan hinges on screwing over a whole bunch of lawyers, which if you stop to think about it, sounds like a really, really stupid idea. Our next Reddit post is from Prestigious smell. This happened almost 10 years ago, so even if the dots get connected, I know that I'm safe according to our laws. This didn't actually happen to me, but I was the one who executed the revenge.

My last year of middle school, I introduced my best friend, Lily, to one of my arts classmates who I'll call Sam. They dated for about seven years, all through high school and university. Until, Lily found out right after graduation that Sam had been cheating on her with his classmate from university, Kat. Lily and Sam took language lessons at a small school next to a big shopping mall, and after their break up, I went with her there so she could cancel their classes. I'd been giving her grand speeches about how life would take care of teaching this guy

a lesson, all that nonsense. After canceling, we went to the mall to get a feel better dessert, and guess who was there at the food court? Sam, who spotted me and Lily right away, and Cat, who looked as white as a ghost. Sam literally dragged Cat towards us who were both frozen because can you believe it? Then he forced Cat, who clearly wanted to be anywhere but there to greet Lily and ask Lily, or are you not going to talk to me? All the while with a disgusting grin. I pulled Lily away from there without a word. We left them all and walked to the bus stop all in silence. After I had digested

what had just happened, I told Lily, you know what I said about life? Forget it. It's gonna take too long. Now, I know what I did afterwards was illegal, and only later would I realize how catastrophic it could have been. You see, Lily had all of Sam's passwords. His bank account, email, cell phone, etc. and also he had her passwords. As soon as we got home, I made her change all of her passwords and I asked her for Sam's emails. That's all I wanted. In our country, what's app is the most used social media and we often set it to back up daily into our Google Drive and Gmail. Sam had his setup to back up on Gmail.

I skimmed through two years' worth of Sam's conversations with Cat, complete with picks and audio files. I screen-capped and cropped out the most interesting parts, such as them talking about passionately hugging in the restrooms and emergency exit at Sam's work during a shift. And about bragging how they blindsided their significant others to have their escapades, because it turns out Cat was married. No, I was going to send these files to Sam's family because he was their golden boy, but I got a better idea.

So I tracked down Sam's boss on LinkedIn, got his work email, found Kat's husband on Facebook, and sent them everything. I heard through the grapevine that Sam got fired, but he literally cried for a second chance, so they put him on probation. One more screw up and bye bye! Fast forward a few months. I was talking to my cousin, and she was telling me about how her fiancée's colleague was traveling all over the world, and he recently posted some pictures at a bar made of ice,

and she wanted to go there too. She showed me the picture the guy had posted, and, low and behold, the traveling colleague was Kat's ex-husband, Rick. I asked my cousin how she knew Rick, and she told me that he was her fiance's friend and work colleague. My cousin didn't know about my revenge, so I inconspicuously asked my cousin how Rick was, how it must have been a sad breakup for him. And oh my god did she spill the tea. So, Kat had introduced Rick to Sam during her graduation ceremony a few weeks before I sent out the document, saying, Look, this is the friend who helped me with my graduation project.

Rick had allowed Sam and Kat to use his computer at home for that project. Turns out they were passionately hugging in his bed while he was at work, and she made him shake hands with her lover. Rick was a programmer. Kat was from the countryside, and she'd been living with Rick for a few years. Rick had an awesome salary. He paid for everything so Kat could focus on university. But one day, he received some evidence from an anonymous person that his wife was cheating

on him with the guy that he'd shake in hands with. The same guy he had allowed to use his computer in his house to help his wife do her graduation project. Rick got her graduation dress, set it on fire, shoved her into the car, drove all the way to her family's home in the countryside, and reportedly dragged her into her parents' house by her hair, made her kneel, and then tell her mother and father what she'd been doing. Her father was so distressed that he had a minor stroke and her mother kicked her out and cut her off from the family.

As far as I know, five years later, they were still no contact with her. Rick threw Kat out of her house, so Kat moved in with Sam's family. Now that Rick and his salary were free, he was living La Vida Loca going to ice bars and neighboring countries, and I was desperate. I called Lilly and told her everything. I lost sleep over it for weeks, and I even considered confessing to what I did. Lilly asked me to let it go.

What was done was done, to take this as a lesson and let life run its course the next time, as I initially said that it would. I'm not proud of it, and even though I didn't lose sleep over it anymore, I still feel somewhat guilty. Confessing here is kind of cathartic though. Uh, Opie, I can kind of understand why you feel guilty about this, but like, the thing is, you didn't really do anything. All you did was expose them for the type of people they were. It's not like you, you know, shined a flashlight as bright as the sun into their eyes, blinding them. They're the ones who cheated. They're the ones who dragged a girl to her parents house and forced them to kneel.

That's not really on you, that's on them. So while I do understand why someone might feel guilty in the situation, I think it's safe to live guilt-free here OP. You did nothing wrong as far as I'm concerned. Our next reddit post is from Spirited Passage. I just found out two days ago that my boyfriend of 4 years is gay. Our relationship was a lie. He used me to cover his sexuality because he wasn't ready to expose himself. He told me that himself.

He pretended to love me for four years. He acted like the perfect boyfriend for four years. We were discussing marriage and kids. He even took me to look at engagement rings all while he was having an affair with another man. To top it all off, his boy toy called me two hours after I walked in on them. Why? To tell me that he was by and that we could all just be together. Are you kidding me? I don't know if he was making fun of me or if he was really stupid enough to think that was a good idea, but yeah, what's worse is that my family believes that I should have been nicer to him because gay people have it rough enough already. So because he's gay, I can't be mad,

I can't be angry, I need to be nicer to him. After his boy toy called me, I texted my now ex-boyfriend to ask if he was seriously making fun of me, and he said it wouldn't be a bad idea, so I lost it. His mom and I were very close, so I texted her a lengthy message explaining what happened, and I told her that I can't stay in contact with her, at least not for the time being. She was shocked, but understanding of why I had to go no contact. Well, his parents disowned him, not for being gay, but because of what he did to me. This idiot went on social media to complain that his parents disowned him for being gay, but multiple family members commented and exposed him for being an awful human being. Some of his co-workers had him on Facebook and

TikTok, and they saw everything, and now, knowing it worked talks to him because of what he did to me. His friends were disgusted when they found out. His friends always liked me, and they're also really big on monogamy, so they didn't want to be friends after they learned the truth. He needs to move out because we live together, and now he can't afford rent on his own, but his budget is very tight, so he doesn't have many options. And he and his boy toy broke up. My ex threw a fit when his mom called him. In retaliation, he broke the TV, my laptop, cut some of the clothes I still had at the apartment and smashed the coffee machine.

So yeah, his boy toy didn't like his outburst and he ended things. Then OP posted an update to say that because of the property damage, the guy got arrested. Also the boy toy agreed to testify in court because he was there when the property damage, the guy got arrested. Also, the boy toy agreed to testify in court because he was there when the boyfriend did all the damage. OP was able to get a restraining order and she might even move to another city. That was our slash pro revenge, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. podcast episodes every single day.