rSlash - r/Prorevenge I Pretended to Be Gay to Piss Off my Dad

Episode Date: May 28, 2023

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Ever since I can remember, I've been completely and utterly under the thumb of my father. All of us have been, me, my younger brother, my little sister, and my mother. My father is a raging butthole, a male chauvinist over the top macho type of guy. And growing up, I've always been the victim of his hate because I didn't really fit in with the image of his ideal son. I was, for lack of a better word, a bit of a girly boy growing up. I wanted nothing more than to dance and frolic around in dresses. When I was four or five, my mother had this big box of dress up close. She brought it down from the attic,

and I immediately picked out the prettiest, frilliest golden color dress I could find. I pranced around in it and declared myself a princess, and that I was now a girl. This went on for a few months, but strictly during the day when my father was away at work. I watched ballet videos with my mother, a soft-spoken and open-minded woman who worked part-time as a social worker in those days. I was happy, careless, my father was, and is, an authoritarian figure. He had himself legally emancipated at an early age just so he could join the army ahead of time. After three years in the army, he left as a lower-level officer and started a career as a seam-in. He was a captain when he and my mother met and had me.

Later, he left his naval career and became a traveling salesman. Thank Don Draper. If Don Draper was a 6 foot 4 western European man with curling grain hair and piercing blue eyes. I've always found him incredibly intimidating, and I think my mother did too. Anyway, long story short, he came home early one day. He saw me in my dress and told me in an icy cold voice. Go and take that off. After you take it off, go sit on the sofa. So I took the dress off, my little hands trembling.

Next, he summoned my mother into the room. He demanded to know what the hell she's been doing to this boy. I've never seen a person shrink so much, so quickly. I myself was a little tiny fly on the wall at this point, barely present. He took the box with clothes up to the attic, put a lock on it, and told us that we were not to touch it until you give me a daughter. It stayed there in the attic, untouched until my sister was born 10 years later. My father took more of an interest in my upbringing after this point.

He took me to see navy ships, car races, and made me do a martial art. He seemed determined to make a man out of me, and in some ways he succeeded. One thing he allowed me to do was keep my hair long. He knew that I was bullied at school for my long hair and at times I wanted to cut it off for that reason, but he insisted that I keep the long hair, face the bullies, and beat the stuffing out of them every time they called me a girl to show them how much of a girl you are. I did just that, and it toughened me up in some ways. But it also damaged me in other ways. By the time I went to college, I'd grown into a pretty normal dude. I wasn't gay, I wasn't even a crossdresser, although deep

down inside, I still had those urges. I tried desperately to fit in and be what my dad wanted me to be, but I also grew more and more resentful. In college, I made a lot of different friends, including some guys that I met in an acting class that we both took. One of them was pretty much your typical flaming and fabulous type of guy. He wasn't over the top gay, as my father wasn't over the top straight. I told him one night about my upbringing and my terrible father. And my friend, Paul, suggested I should get back at him. I asked how, and he said,

why not just pretend that you're gay? But not just say it over the phone or something, or even to my father's face in person. No, much better. That I should hint for weeks in advance about having met somebody and being in a relationship, to tell my dad that I was dating a girl and then ask if I could bring Paula over for dinner. At Christmas, when the whole family would be there, then I would arrive at the house with Paul instead. So, I did exactly that. I went back to my parents' house at Christmas dressed to the nines. I told my father and mother that Paula was caught up and she was about to arrive, and I'll just go get the door when she comes.

So I sat down with my family, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, all just as conservative as my father. I waited for a while. I heard the door and I rushed to open it. Then I walked into the living room where everyone was gathered and introduced Paul, my boyfriend. I've never seen a room go so quiet. People literally gasped for air. My sister, brother, and mother looked both scared and amused, but everyone else was in shock,

and my father seething. He just completely lost it right in front of everyone. Vains were bulging in his neck to the point where they looked like they were going to pop. He told me to leave, ordered me essentially. My grandparents urged him not to make a scene, but he made one. I just calmly replied that if he was bothered, he can call the cops and explain the situation to them. I knew that he would never do that.

He knew some of the officers well, so that wasn't a call that he'd be willing to make, and it wasn't a situation that he was willing to explain. I called his bluff, and he just sank. Like he shrank before my eyes. My mother and grandmother had to calm him down. He walked out of the room, defeated. I just stood there, not believing my own eyes. I finally felt free, like I just didn't care anymore.

He had scared me for so many years, terrified me, and now I could see him for the caricature he really was. It felt amazing. Paul and I stayed the whole evening. Paul played his part perfectly. He eventually managed to charm some of my aunts and even my grandmother, who told me unironically how she was glad that you found such a delightful man. And that he reminded her of her favorite TV character, Mr. Humphrey from Are You Being

Served? Such a doll! My father later came back to the room. He sat in a corner, sulking, refusing to meet my gaze. He drank too much whiskey. My mother kept talking to him in a hush-tone of voice, and he kept making a go-away gesture with his hand. I stayed away from home for a while after that. Eventually,

I explained to everyone that it had been a prank. How I had to make a point and get back at my father for how he treated me. Pretty much everyone sympathized. I didn't lose anyone in my family over what happened, but my father lost a lot of respect in people's eyes, I feel. He was always in control of things, he always directed the scene, but now he doesn't anymore. I do my own thing, and my sister does her own thing. He can't order people around anymore, and I feel like a fool for ever letting him. I can now wear whatever the hell I want to wear, enjoy whatever hobbies I want to enjoy, and nothing changes. He threatened to disinherit me that night.

He threatened a lot of things, but in the end, something inside him just broke. Since then, all of my relationships have been with women, and I've since married and had kids of my own. My younger brother did eventually come out as gay, but by that time, my now aging father had mellowed down somewhat, and since he already had grandkids, his legacy was thus secured so he didn't seem to mind much. It helps that my brother is a muscular gym rat and that they can bond over sports, more than my father and I ever did, but whenever the subject of sexuality comes up, my father

is still incredibly awkward. I don't think that'll ever change, but I feel that my revenge has been pretty successful in the end. Man, this is an example of why gender stereotypes are so stupid, because OP is interested in feminine things, but he's a straight one. And then OP's brother, the gay one, is interested in traditionally masculine things, like building muscle and sports. Just goes to show you how stupid the stereotypes are. Just let people like what they like, man. Also, the part of the story that I really like OP is that your father taught you throughout your

life to stand up to bullies, and that's exactly what you did. You sit up to your biggest bully. Him. Gabby here is a meditation instructor who just created her business website. Just need to choose a domain. Hmm, meditativeminds.ca or dot com. That Canada goose looks grumpy. Also, why is he here? Well Gabby, he's here to tell you that 85% of Canadians prefer supporting local business on a dot CA over a dot com. And dot CA it is.

Now repeat after me. Oooooom. Aaaaah! We'll work on that friend. Goie, it is. Now repeat after me. Home. Ah! We'll work on that friend. Go local. Choose success. Choose Dotsie. These side marios all you can eat?

Is all you can munch a soup? Salad. And garlic home, though. Oh, my God. Mommy! Get out of the way, baby! Our next wedded post is from Crow the Robot. This story starts over five years ago, with

me struggling in a position that I was not qualified for. I'm an electrical engineer, but my degree is in computer engineering. The difference is subtle, but enough that most recruiters for major companies see computer in my name and assume the next word is science. Considering that some of my schooling did include programming and to escape a significant pay cut, I accepted a position as a software engineer. That did not go well, but it was a great company, and when I handed in my notice,

my old manager said, if you ever need a job, let us know. The new company I was moving to was a giant in their field, with divisions all around the country in every conceivable aspect of that particular genre of engineering. But the main reason for me accepting that position was I was offered a job as an electrical engineer. Finally, I'd be working in my field. For the most part, things started out pretty well.

My first performance review was stellar, as I was put in charge of a small team of hardware engineers to finish a product. Really, I was a go-between for the engineers in program office, since the PMO guys never really liked dealing with the boots on the ground, so to speak. One particular engineer was a subject matter expert, and was damn smart, but clashed with management. Since I was able to adequately quell his frustrations while keeping the program running, I got a nice pat on the back, a small bonus, and a decent raise that first year.

The only problem, my manager seemed surprised about it. Huh, someone must have really liked the work you did, he said. Well duh, but okay. As the month's drag dawn, I was put on program after program, usually because something went wrong and they needed it fixed. Not a problem, it's what I was good at. This batch of widgets wasn't tested correctly. Alright, let me find the site process and rerun the week long test to get that report

to you. The test fixture for another widget was having problems? Let me take a look at it. Ah, there's your problem and here's how to fix it. What I didn't know going into this job was that my manager was one of the boys that our division director promoted. The director was the old manager and once he ascended to his throne, he brought up my manager to his position. My manager and director were in sync. To the point that when an employee went to the director to complain about the manager, Mr. Director invited

the manager to the meeting and told the employee, if you have a problem with your boss, you need to talk to him about it. That employee went eight years before getting a promotion. Not only that, but he had a master's degree, but was working at the level of a new college hire for eight years. Other employees left after promises of promotions went unfulfilled, even more left because it was all work and no play. The environment there was really toxic, at least in my group. I was put on another program and actually given an impossible task. For real, it was actually impossible. But when

you're told to do the impossible, they don't want to hear it literally can't be done. They want to hear, yes sir. Unfortunately, even after doing research on my own, it took me all of one day to come to the conclusion that, yes, you can't fit a one foot peg into a two-inch hole. But you can't make the hole bigger or the peg smaller was essentially the response I got. You can't alter the peg at all! That's what the chief engineer wants, so it's what he gets. So I screwed around for two months trying to stretch the hole without stretching it, or

squish the peg without squishing it. When the project was finally taken away from me and given to someone who knows what the hell they're doing. Fun fact, the engineer they gave the project to needed two months and they ended up doing it the way that I originally suggested. Go me, but God forbid I get any recognition for that though. I forget about that project, and I'm given a new assignment that's pretty much just cleaning up after another engineer, and making sure a bunch of test equipment is pushed through and sent out for manufacturing.

This also was not as easy as described, and yet still, my manager was hounding me. Documents were rejected for reasons beyond my control. Parts were not available from the manufacturer causing delays. The software team was behind on getting me updates to firmware. All the while, my boss continues to say, just finish this and then the fun job starts. He issues piled up, and I started looking for the door. I actually had a few interviews with companies in the area, but I'd either never get a call back or I'd hear that the requirements

for the position had changed. At my mid-year review, my manager actually plays it off pretty cool. Oh, these delays aren't your fault. You can't get software to go any faster and we've always known this particular manufacturer has issues keeping stock, etc. Great, maybe someone from up high got on my manager's case about his awful attitude towards his employees? It turns out, no, that did not happen at all. I'll just cut to the chase here. My manager screwed over my entire group from getting their bonuses and recognition after a major product launch. We just sat there while both the software and the marketing teams were recognized while my manager said, yeah they deserve the recognition.

They were here on nights and weekends fixing all the issues. When I told my manager that we were also working on nights and weekends, the response I got was mind-boggling. Well, they didn't cause those problems you were fixing. He was, of course, implying that we caused our own problems. So at this point, I was done, but thankfully I had an interview lined up in the following weeks, and I ended up getting an offer shortly afterwards. Knowing that we were coming up on the end of a fiscal year and our yearly performance bonus was a full commitment requirement, I called corporate HR to ask when the last

date that I would be eligible for would be. That was two weeks after my scheduled start date. I called my new employer and asked him to push back my start date and they said no problem. I then gleefully typed up and printed out my resignation letter, signed it, and handed it to my manager. I should also note that, when I started, we had 10 engineers in my group. At this point, we now only had 6, and we were struggling to find replacements for everyone who had left. When I gave my resignation letter to my boss, he nodded, smiled, and said, got it.

So what will you be doing? I believe I hid my shock well, because after I left, he would have gone from 10 engineers to 5 engineers in just a single year. But I told him where I was going and what I'd be working on, and he just said, cool. So I'd given a 4 weeks notice, and during those weeks I spent a lot of time wrapping up projects and writing detailed reports on what I'd done and how I went about doing it. My last day came and went without much to do, fast forward to September of that year.

I'd been keeping in touch with my old co-workers, and it comes to mind that I never got my bonus. While after taxes it wasn't much, but it was still money that I made sure that I would qualify for. I called corporate HR, and I was told that, unfortunately, you needed to stay through the end of the fiscal year, which was two weeks after you'd left. I could, however, reach out to my old manager, and he could potentially get me a pro-rated bonus since I was given incorrect information.

So I email my old manager with that information, and the response I get is a little unexpected, though I probably should have seen it coming. Yeah, I knew you wouldn't be eligible for the bonus if you left before the end of the fiscal year, which is why I was confused you were leaving then. I can't help you. Screw you. He admitted to knowing that I wouldn't get my bonus and also he never discussed it with me. Well, it was at this point that I knew I had to get revenge, but in order to do that, I had to

buy my time. My new company had lots of openings all around the country, but most required at least three years experience. At my last job, two of my co-workers were thoroughly entrenched with my manager, so I didn't care about them, but the three others I knew had to get out of there. Every now and then, I'd reach out to those guys to see if they were interested in changing jobs. The answer was usually, yes, but after a year of that, I kind of gave up, but I kept them in the back of my mind. About 6 months later, I get a text from Guy Number 1 saying,

that's it, I'm done! Can you get me out of here? Oh, and Guy Number 2 once out too. Here's his number. Jackpot! Also, it's worth mentioning that around this time, the third guy also quit and found a job elsewhere. Unfortunately, Guy Number 2 didn't meet some very strict requirements for positions at

my company, but I start getting him in contact with other people I know in the industry. I meet up with Guy number one, go over his resume, look through my company's listings, and get him into our HR system, which should flag any positions that he might be a good fit for. While he does get some callbacks, and while my company is aggressively hiring, he actually lands an interview at one of our competitors and eventually gets a job offer. Thankfully, Guy No. 2 is also able to escape, finding himself a great position that's closer to his family. Both jobs also came with significant paybumps because God forbid my old manager actually fight to pay his employees what they're

worth. My old manager is still somehow there, but Guy Number 1 told me that when he turned in his two weeks notice, the manager really started panicking and tried his best to keep Guy Number 1 on board, even though he had been yelled at for things the week prior and the week prior to that, and the week prior to that. Okay, that's the end of the story. I don't know if I would call this pro revenge OP. I think you kind of posted this in the wrong subreddit because you didn't really do anything.

You kind of just left your job and then watched the carnage as that terrible manager managed to bring his team from 10 people down to, what was it, two? But I guess I'll keep the story because in the end, the manager got screwed over, which really is all that really matters. It's so bizarre to me that someone can keep their job after managing a team from 10 people

down to 2 people. How does that not send off red flags in the company that like, hey, maybe our manager is terrible and is scaring off our employees, so maybe we should fire him and get him out of the company? So weird to me, man. That was our slash pro revenge. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast

because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.