rSlash - r/Prorevenge Steal My Food? Enjoy MEGA-LAXATIVE!

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. 0:00 Intro 0:08 Lunch thief 2:19 Comment 2:58 Character reset 5:07 Revenge on a client Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

East Side Mario's all you can eat is all you can match a soup salad and garlic home Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton cross-town LRT train testing is in progress Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Welcome to R-Slash Pro Revenge, where OP gives a lunch thief industrial strength laxative. Our next reddit post is from Wildbilly Redneck.

Years ago I had a lunch thief. After about the twelfth time complaining to HR about people stealing my lunch, I was seething because not a damn thing was being done and I still had to go buy something to eat. I was complaining to my doctor at the yearly checkup and he gave me a smile saying, you're constipated then. I was dumb and said, no, why? Then my doctor wrote me a prescription for some nuclear-powered laxative with instructions to mix it in with your meal for maximum effect. At which point I knew the plan. I wish I could say they pooped their pants, but no, they ate my sandwich with my special avocado

sauce. About an hour after lunch, I went to HR and reported two things. One, my lunch was stolen again, and two, my medication was stolen. HR asked, so you got hit by the lunch thief again and your medicine was in the bag? I said, yes, I've had some digestive problems and my doctor prescribed a powerful laxative and advised me to mix it in with my midday meal. HR went white. You did what? Smiling, I said. I mixed in a prescription grade laxative with my food

per my doctor's orders. Well, since stealing prescribed medication is a criminal offense, the cops were called, and they found a lead man from one department over absolutely pooping his brains out. He was furious and accused me of poisoning his food. I asked, at which point did you get the idea that that food was for you? I continued furthermore, now I no longer have my medication that I was prescribed for for my condition. It was about this time that he knew that he screwed up, so he shut his mouth until he got a lawyer or so I'm told. One of my buddies from high school took over his position.

I can now eat my sandwiches in peace, and I have no clue where the lunch thief went after his fines and community service. I love how the doctor, you know, all doctors have to take the Hippocratic oath. First, do no harm, but this doctor's like, well, I guess it's okay to do some harm, right? Down in the comments, we have this story from Marine. This douchebag lunch thief at one job I worked at was the best friend of the boss's son. This douchebag was bulletproof, or so he thought. Complaints about him were ignored. Then he made the mistake of stealing the lunch bag that was clearly

marked by a diabetic associate, and she had her insulin in the bag. She called the cops. The thief got busted with her insulin and ended up going to prison because he had prior convictions and was still on probation. She later sued the owner of the company and won several hundred thousand dollars for ignoring this douchebag's behavior for months. Our next reddit posted from author James Rowe. I found an online site that hosted old-style games, including one called Lord, Legend of the Red Dragon. First, a few things about that game.

One, when your character hit 12th level, you could go fight the Red Dragon, and if you won, the game reset your character to the first level. 2. Staying in an in-it-night, only meant that other players would have to pay a lot of gold to the in-keep to break into your room and kill you. 3. One of the modules was a philosopher's shop, where if you answered a riddle, you could swap an item with any player up to three levels above you.

4. Once you hit level 3, you could pay gold to rename your character. The server I found myself on had a guild who called themselves Chaos. Their average character level was in the mid-twenties and they killed every player who wasn't a member of their guild every night, dying meant that you lost a level. So this happened three times, even after I just asked them to let me play the game. I did some data watching, and I noticed that the game appended data with the use of a dot between things.

There was no session ID being passed around, or user ID between switching from the main game to the module, and that extra dots, as in periods, were removed from the data stream. This was awesome. The bartender wouldn't let me rename myself to Lady Chaos because the name was already taken. Lady Chaos was the highest ranking member of that guild. But if I rename myself to Lady Chaos Period, the game did allow it. From there, I went back and forth between the modules and the main game until suddenly

the character I was controlling wasn't my 6 level warrior. It was the 46th level Lady Chaos. From there, I broke into the in-rooms of every member of her guild and killed them. I went to the philosopher shop, answered a riddle, and traded away her awesome magical sword for a new player stick. I traded her armor away for a newbie's loincloth. I spent her gold to buy gifts for a bunch of new players that her guild had kept murdering. Then I went and beat the red dragon, which reset her character. Wash rinse repeat, with the other top guild members before the system operator figured out

that it was me. Our next red aposis from called in the 90s. At the age of 40, I'd learned a lot of lessons in more than 10 years of legal practice. But one of the most important lessons I learned was from an older lawyer that I worked for as a summer student. A lawyer has three duties, he told me. First to himself, second to the court, and last to the client. Always make sure that you come first and the client comes last. The reason, because clients will screw you, he said.

They'll throw you under the bus without thinking twice. I should have kept working with this lawyer, but being young and an idiot, I had to go work downtown, and I still work downtown. But fortunately for me, I remembered this lesson, and it came in handy many years later when a client really did try to throw me under the bus. My client was a midsize company that did this and that and owned things here and there. Not big enough to be listed, but it did have a pretty sizeable real estate portfolio. And one day, a building they owned burned to the ground. The company wanted to collect on the insurance, so they told Frank a veteran salary man to deal

with it. Frank was close to 60 years old, and he thought that he knew what he was doing. He didn't need me to help him with the insurance claims he told me. He had everything under control. Besides, lawyers are expensive. Some guys really get off on not paying legal fees, and Frank was one of those guys who gloated over every penny that he managed not to pay his lawyers. I dealt with Frank a lot, and he was always nickel in diming me.

I told Frank, the insurance company is going to screw you. It was only by dumb luck that I even knew about the fire because Frank hadn't asked for my help. He just accidentally let it slip one day, and since then, I had to stay on top of him, trying to get him to smarten up. I had to fight to get him to send me the proof of loss form to make sure that he hadn't messed it up. Frank screwed up a lot, and sometimes I wondered how he got that job. But the proof of loss that he sent me was okay at least. So that was one last thing to worry about.

You don't know they're going to screw me, he said. I could tell that he just wanted to get me off the phone. I said, I get paid to know when insurers are trying to screw my clients and this insurer is going to screw you. They've been stringing you along for ages with requests and questions and paperwork and they are not

going to pay you, not unless you sue them. But Frank said that he knew what he was doing, that it was all under control and besides he got along with the adjuster so great. I said the limitation period expires in two weeks and once those two weeks pass it'll be too late to sue. The moment that limitation period expires, they'll stop taking your calls. You'll get a final email saying, sorry, you're out of time, and that'll be that. Do not leave this until the last minute, Frank.

Let me sue them now, and you'll have the money in no time. Frank was like, sure, fine, whatever. Don't bother me with this, I got it. Blah, blah blah blah. Then he got off the phone as soon as he could. I sent him my usual email with clear warnings and recommendations which he ignored. I sent the email again, and then again as a limitation period approached, and again a couple of days before the deadline. My final email said, I'm gonna be at trial and you won't be able to reach me,

but you have to sue. You have other firms on your list, so just pick one and sue. Frank didn't bother to reply, so I went off to do my trial. My trial lasted a couple of weeks and I got no email from Frank. Then a month passed, and another month still no email. I figured he must have sorted things out. Maybe Frank was right after all I said to myself. And then my phone rang. It was Frank. Remember that fire insurance thing we spoke about? I figured that he was calling up to Glow, so I cut to the chase. So they paid out. That's great, Frank. You were right. He asked me what I was talking about and he asked to see a copy of the claim. What claim I said? The claim against the insurer.

You know that claim. Does that mean the insurer didn't pay you? I asked. He hung up on me and then a few minutes later my computer dinged and there was Frank's email talking about how we spoke and he told me to sue and he was worried when I hadn't sent him a copy of the claim so he was following up to get a copy of the claim. I emailed him back and said, I take it the insurer didn't pay you just like I told you they wouldn't, and now that the limitation period is expired, they told you to jump in the lake,

leaving you with the loss in the millions. Is that it? Now, I'll admit that originally I should have gone over Frank's head, but if I'd gone over Frank's head, then I would have never received another file from him, so I didn't. But that was then, and this is now. So I see Seed Frank's boss and his boss's boss. Plus I see Seed Bill, the client's in-house lawyer. Bill acknowledged my email right away and called me later that day. Bill said, Frank messed up. We know that. He's an idiot. So what do we do?"

I asked so his excuses didn't work. And Bill said, nope. Bill explained that they had summoned Frank into a boardroom, but his story didn't add up, given all the warnings I'd sent him. Besides, there would have been no reason for him to keep emailing the insurer if he told me to sue. Once the file goes to legal counsel, Frank's role was over. The company knew that Frank was be-assing them. Bill asked, so that's it then. We just lost a couple of million bucks? It's okay, I said, explaining that when I realized that Frank was going to screw up, I issued a claim against the insurer. Since I had forced Frank to send me proof of loss, I had enough information that I could sue to preserve the cause of action. It wasn't a great claim because I was short on details,

but it was good enough. Bill said, you sued without instructions? Lawyers are not supposed to sue without instructions, because if you do that, you're personally liable for whatever cost the other side incurs. It is a big deal to suit without instructions. Yep, I said, I sued without instructions. I pulled up a copy of the claim and emailed it to him as we spoke. It's a little rough, I said, but we can always amend it.

Thank God, Bill said. Can I leave this in your hands? Of course he could. That insurer was a sitting duck, and I knew that I'd collect from them no problem. A few days later, I got a call from another guy who worked for the client, a guy that I didn't normally deal with. They had a situation that needed my help. I usually deal with Frank, I said.

What's up? What was up? Well, it turns out that Frank got called into another meeting and they handed him a one-page letter and then he put his little office things into a box and security walked and passed his co-workers to the elevator and escorted him downstairs to the parking lot. Bye-bye, Frank! He was too old to get another job, or at least not a decent one. This was a life-changing event for Frank, but for me, he was just an anecdote.

A cautionary tale that I tell young lawyers sometimes over beers, maybe too often, because I'm getting on in years and I have my favorite stories. I wasn't trying to get revenge on Frank, not at all, and I would have felt a bit sorry for him if he hadn't been trying to throw me under the bus. But the guy who replaced him was great and he never nickel and dime me so always good. That was our Slashpower of Inge and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.