rSlash - r/Relationship My Husband's Dad Spanks Me

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Spanking 6:29 Timing 10:03 Troll spotted 12:14 Egg donor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our next reddit post is from throwaway. I'm a 23 year old woman and my 70 year old father-in-law spanked me. My husband, who's 30, doesn't think that it's a big deal and that it's kind of funny. So my father-in-law has always been the classic cranky and senile old man. He would always make distasteful claims and jokes, but I always brushed them off because I was trying to be understanding, thinking that he's from another time and background. Also, my husband warned me about's from another time and background. Also, my husband warned me about him from early on and told me to just ignore him.

But it finally went wrong when I was staying over at his place. I was staying there for a few days because my father-in-law had hurt his leg and he couldn't move around the house freely. Well, he still could, just not very well. So I offered to help around the house for a few days. And things were not easy, but they were going pretty well until a couple of nights ago. We got into some stupid argument where he insisted on eating and drinking things that the doctor told him not to, at least during

his recovery. And I kept telling him that he shouldn't. And he started raising his voice a lot screaming, do not talk back to me girl. And like I can do whatever the F I want to do in my own house. And he got up from his chair. I instantly got scared thinking that it might escalate. So I just apologize and tried to leave, but he sprinted towards me, grabbed me and held me down. Yo, what? I got extremely scared because even though he's an old man who's sick He's still very big like six foot two or something and I'm a fairly small woman under a hundred pounds

And I knew that I couldn't do anything physically to stop him and then he started like Spanking me like he'd really want to hurt me I was so scared and terrified because he kept yelling at me and I just kept apologizing and crying because I was just genuinely terrified. He kept doing it and after I profusely apologized, he finally let me go. I was just glad that it was over, but then he made me stand in a corner. I couldn't even think about running away. I know that I should have and I probably could have run away and I was being dumb, but I was just so scared and was worried that he might do it again, so I couldn't think straight

and I just followed. I couldn't think about how mortifying it was at that moment because my butt was hurting too much and I was just hoping that it would end. After a while, he finally said that I could go, so I ran up to my room to call my husband. I called my husband and I started crying telling him what happened, because I was relieved that it was over but also started feeling so powerless, helpless and mortified. And my husband just kinda chuckled and said, oh yeah, he used to spank us growing up. Like he genuinely couldn't see the difference between spanking his own child

growing up, which is still messed up, and spanking his grown-up daughter-in-law and seeing her half naked. Wait, hold on, half naked? Did I miss something? Did he pull her pants down? No, I didn't. Oh, no, I didn't miss a sentence. What does she mean half naked? All right, let's just see if OP clarifies later on because it sounds like this dude pulled her pants down to spank her. I kept trying to make him understand, but he was pretty much like, well, that sucks. But you knew that he was that way and kind of not there. You should just try to forget that it happened.

He's just a crazy poor old man. When I kept insisting, my husband said that he would talk to his dad, but I feel like he won't. I told him to come pick me up, but he said that he can't now. So, he's picking me up in 3 days, which is still earlier than planned, but I still have to stay with my father-in-law for more days. So, apparently, my husband talked to his dad, telling him that he can't do that. But my father-in-law just keeps smirking at me saying that's what I get for being a B-word. And he'll make my hiney explode again?

What? And I feel like I've been walking on eggshells the last couple of days worrying that he'll do it again. And I'm just doing whatever he tells me to. What do I do? I'm seriously rethinking this relationship." And then OP posts an edit where she basically says, Yeah, I know that I should have called the cops, but I'm afraid to.

Also, OP writes, Some people wanted me to clarify the half-naked part. Maybe it was confusing because I wasn't planning to share that part because I felt humiliated by that. But it slipped out when I was talking about my call with my husband. But my father-in-law pulled my pajamas down and spanked me when he held me down. She also clarifies that she doesn't have a car, she doesn't even know how to drive, and she's currently in a remote area where there's no Uber. And even if there were, she wouldn't be able to use it because she doesn't have a credit card, so she's truly stuck. She writes,

The nearest gas station is like a 20 minute drive away. I thought that it might be safer to stay there than try walking hours alone, especially since my father-in-law has a car and can still drive. Yeah, a lot of people in the comments are kind of blasting and criticizing OP for not, you know, calling the cops or running away. But yo, you guys, she got assaulted and this isn't fight or flight. It's actually fight or flight or freeze.

And in her situation, she froze. Because some people when they're in dangerous situations, they just shut down, which is not something they can help. It just kind of happens. When I read the title of this post, my assumption is that she meant that, I don't know, he walked past her and then he slapped her butt, you know, in passing, which is a really common form of sexual assault. And I'm not saying that's excusable.

It's just that was where my mind went to when she said spanking. It didn't even cross my mind that OP meant that this dude pulled her over his knee, pulled her pants down and slapped her naked butt. This is assault and sexual assault at bare minimum. I almost wonder if the father-in-law spanked her just as a pretense to pull her pants down. That really he just wanted to get his rocks off and see her naked butt so he's like, oh, I'll spank you to teach you a lesson. And that was his excuse excuse which is equally disgusting. OP, man, you gotta get out of

this relationship. There is no coming back from that. Your husband defending this behavior is straight-up loony tunes. Our next reddit post is from Pipe Humble. My date got angry that he arrived seven hours before I was and I wasn't there. Maybe I was in the wrong not to rush to him? I'm a 40 year old woman and he's a 52 year old man. I've been chatting to a man online who lives in a different state to me for the last 4 months. We've been talking every day online and on the phone for hours at a time and we decided to meet today. He drove 8 hours to see me and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop at 2pm. He calls me and tells me that he drove all hours to see me and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop at 2pm. He calls

me and tells me that he drove all night to see me and he arrived at 7am. That's 7 hours before we were scheduled to meet at 2. I had things to do that morning and I wasn't able to leave to see him straight away. I did cancel some appointments and I hurried to try to see him earlier. I got an angry call from him at 11.45am asking how much longer I'll be and where I am. I said that I'll be leaving in 30-45 minutes and I'll see him soon. 15 minutes later he calls again and starts shouting at me saying that I'm playing games with him and he's sick of waiting for me. He says that since I'm playing games with him, he's driving home and I should just

forget the coffee date. I managed to calm him down and left what I was doing, getting my hair done, and yes, I left the salon with my hair half done and went to him immediately. When I got there, he was cold and angry and he said, You're not what I want. I don't want a woman who takes forever to come to me. I tried to explain to him that we arranged to meet at 2pm and just because he decided to drive all night to see me and arrive early, that was great but I couldn't drop everything to see him. He was so angry that he was rude to staff as well and he was complaining that the coffee wasn't good and that it was cold, etc. Everything was bothering him and in the end, he just left me there and said that it was cold, etc. Everything was bothering him and in the end he just left

me there and said that he was leaving to go home. My heart is broken because I spent 4 months getting to know this man. So many hours online and on the phone and this is how it ended. He said that he felt that if I was serious about him, I would have arrived within 2 hours of him arriving instead of coming at the time that we both arranged. Am I wrong and did I mess this up? Should I have done something different? Hey OP, this is going to sound really crazy, but that was actually a spectacular first date. Not because it was, you know, pleasant, but because it saved you a lot of heartache. Especially considering you were investing so much of your time at home calling him and emailing him and texting him or whatever and also because he's so far away

Like imagine how bad it would be if you drove eight hours to go see him And then he treated you like this on your second date And then you have to drive eight hours back crying half the way back because he treated you like garbage Nah, man, this guy showed you exactly what kind of a scumbag he is on his very first date with you So in a way he did you a favor. What's really disturbing to me is this guy is 52. I mean typically when people get older they get more patient and they slow down their pace.

So the fact that this guy was so anxious and so eager that he drove all night and showed up super early and just sat around twiddling his thumbs for like 4-5 hours. It's honestly, it kind of feels like incel behavior to be honest with you. You know the whole like super obsessing anxiety over being with a woman and oh this is the most important thing in the world and the dude can't just relax and yo it's just coffee dude. I guess what I'm saying is this behavior is abnormal at any age group, but if someone did do this, I would expect them to be like 18, 20, not 52. Our next reddit post is from

throwaway troll. I'm a 35 year old guy and my significant other is a 37 year old woman. I just found out that she's a reddit troll and I'm absolutely dumbfounded on what to do. I came home from work today and noticed my partner just sitting at the desk laughing to herself with her headphones on, so I just assumed she was watching a movie or something and left it at that. Not long after, I poked my head around because I was going to ask her what she wanted for dinner and to my surprise, she was on Reddit, which was odd to me because she's anti-social media, but I thought that it was nice that

she was trying something because she suffers from agoraphobia and doesn't get out much without me. I briefly got a glimpse at her name and I thought that it would be interesting to see what she had posted. Yeah, I know this is an invasion of privacy. And to my shock, the account was 8 years old. This meant that her account predated our relationship by a couple of years. What's even more shocking was the stuff that she said on there.

So much hate towards random people for seemingly no reason at all. This wasn't just one comment here and there either. It was literally just an account dedicated to hating on people and she seemed proud of it in her comments. One recent example was she spent an entire day just hassling someone. And it didn't even stop there. She would make up lies, fat shame people, and bully those with disabilities. That one hurts because she knows that I have autism. I would sometimes come back from work and she would be in a bad mood but wouldn't tell me why. Upon looking at her comment history, a lot of her bad moods seemed to line up with days that she got

downvoted a lot. She even goes as far as to lie about her physical appearance just to bring down others. It's sick! How do I even approach this? This stuff is just downright hateful and I don't want her to freak out at me. I don't know man, sounds like she's just a bad person. And it's really surprising this is coming out of someone who's 37. I could kinda understand this coming from someone who's 17 and you know, angsty because you're an angsty teenager and you're trying to figure out your spot in the world. But 37? Huh?

Our next reddit post is from Blue Sugar. I'm a 33 year old woman and my husband is 34. My husband wants permission to use an egg donor outside of our marriage because of race. What should I do? I've known my husband since high school. We met again abroad where we both studied and worked and we met for lunch years later and then started dating.

We've been together for five years and married for two. We decided to move back to our home country where we're both from once I found out that I was pregnant. I'm an international adoptee from South Asia. We're both citizens of Northern Europe. My husband is white with blonde hair and blue eyes and I have South Asian features. Our child was born two years ago. So here's the plot twist. My husband told me on New Year's Eve that he doesn't feel a connection to our child was born two years ago. So here's the plot twist. My husband told me on New Year's Eve that he doesn't feel a connection to our child at all. I asked him how and why and he complained that it was because of her appearance that

she has more dominant features from me, i.e. dark eyes and darker hair. I swear every single friend and family member from my side has said that our child looks exactly like my husband. She even has very light brown hair, not that it matters to me, but just brown eyes. He told me that he wants a family member that looks like him with blonde hair and blue eyes. I asked him if he was open to adoption, because I am, and he said no, he wants to see his own features in the child. We went back and forth until he told no, he wants to see his own features in the child. We went back and forth until he told me that he wants to use an egg donor to conceive blonde hair and blue eyes and his genes.

My first reaction was, what the hell? I told him that's really insulting, and how the hell can he say that about his own child, and why didn't he think about this earlier before he married and had kids with me? I just bluntly told him that we've all seen the eye charts in biology class in school and usually brown eyes dominate. Why did he spew this all out now one and a half years after the birth of our child? We've been going back and forth in arguments and he always brings up this topic during

arguments to give me the ultimatum of divorcing him or accepting him to proceed with the white egg donor and surrogate. I've tried hashing this out in therapy with an open mind because I have genuine questions. How do you think our current child would feel about the truth? How do you think the new egg donor child would feel about the truth? What do you think others will say about this? I've discovered that many of these opinions have been formed from comments from friends and family members that have received our child as an immigrant. What? My question is, what's wrong with that?

And why does it even matter? He also said that he would like the egg donor child to have personality traits similar to him, as in analytical, quiet, nature lover, etc. Personally, I don't think that you can dictate or impact another human's personality. Moreover, this is not a great reason to have kids. Well, OP, one thing that I can verify since I'm in the exact same scenario because I'm a white guy married to an Asian girl and we have a mixed-race baby is that my white family thinks that our child more closely resembles my wife who's Asian and my wife's Asian family thinks that our child more closely resembles me with my white person features.

So I think that's a common experience where if you're white and you grow up around white people and you're used to seeing white features and then you have a mixed race half white half Asian babies, then to you, the Asian features will stand out and be super, super prominent, even though actually it's 50 50. Now the response that this guy has to that is pretty crazy because when I see the Asian features in my daughter, I'm like, oh, it's my wife in there and it's me in there too. It's sweet. I like seeing my wife's features in my child because it's you know, the mother of my child

And if you're gonna be racist why marry outside of your race these people don't make any sense This is like someone hating spicy food and then going into a spicy restaurant and ordering spicy chicken and being like Excuse me waiter. This spicy chicken is spicy and I don't like that. Dude, are you stupid? I mean, I just don't think there's any way coming back from this because not only is he insulting the core of who you are, he's also insulting the core of who your child is. So it's just, man, if my wife said this to me, there'd be no coming back from it. I feel so bad for the kid. If the kid ever found out that their

dad rejected their Asian genes because they don't look like dad, I'd feel so bad for that kid. So good luck, OP. Sounds like you're just married to a racist, man. That was r slash relationships and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.