rSlash - r/Relationships Boyfriend Acting Suspicious About His Arrest

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Doctor burrito 3:16 Court records 5:19 Comment 7:35 Divorce 11:56 Tracking Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers! Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Welcome to r slash relationships, where OP discovers that her boyfriend is a criminal. Our next Reddit post is from InsideCamp. I'm a 24-year-old woman and my 32 my 32 year old boyfriend told me he was a doctor. I walked in on him behind the counter at Taco Bell.

I met him on an app three months ago. He said that he was a doctor and that he did his undergrad in biology at an Ivy League school. Everything was going great. The intercourse was fantastic and he was very romantic. Although he didn't like to spend a lot of money on me. Last night I just happened to walk into a Taco Bell and saw him working there behind the counter. We looked at each other and I went up and ordered without addressing him. Then I went home to process what I had seen. I tried

calling him today but he wouldn't answer. How could he lie to me like this? Do men do this often? I'm in absolute shock! Should I forgive him for lying and move on with the relationship or should I dump him? I'm not sure if I would have given him a chance if I knew that he worked at Taco Bell from the start but I'm in love with him at this point. What do I do once I manage to talk to him again? Honestly, this is a tale as old as time. People lie to get into someone else's pants all the time, which doesn't make it okay to be perfectly clear. It's just... oh, geez. I don't want to be too harsh to you, OP, because this could honestly happen to anyone.

But you gotta learn, trust, but verify. You know what I mean? I don't think working at Taco Bell is a deal breaker, but the lying is. The dude fabricated his whole life just to get you in bed, and it worked. So... good luck, OP. Then OP posted an update. I spoke to him again last night in person. He told me that he had originally started his profile

as an experiment to see how putting a prestigious education and profession would affect his success on the app. He says it helped a lot. He really has a liberal arts degree from a less prestigious school and has only ever worked fast food. He told me that his original intention was never to actually date anyone while lying about his profession.

He said that when I started talking to him on the app, he wanted to continue the experiment just to see if he could really convince me to meet him in person, since other girls who had agreed to meet him before when they knew his real job had flaked. Then the date went well and he was afraid to tell me the truth. I told him that I forgive him, but I couldn't continue the relationship. I said that we could be friends with benefits, and he agreed. Then we just hung out like usual, and I still ended up sleeping over. So at this point, we're no longer officially in a relationship,

but I'll continue to see him as a friend for now, as I consider looking for a new man to date. I'll now be more open to dating fast food workers and other low-income men who are honest about their jobs. I'm not sure if this is the update anyone was looking for, but it is what it is, so we're officially over, but not exactly. Well, I can't say I blame the girl. After all, the guy's an expert at stuffing tacos. Our next Reddit post is from Sad Pomegranate. I recently found out that my boyfriend of two years was arrested about ten years ago

after being accused of hitting his ex-girlfriend. When I first confronted him about it, he looked me in the eye and said he had no idea what I was talking about. That he'd never been in a courthouse for domestic violence. I told him that didn't make sense, and he kept insisting it never happened. But about five minutes into the conversation, he suddenly changed his story. He said that he had been arrested, but had completely forgotten about it. Then he explained his version of what happened, that his ex was crazy, made it all up, and

that the case was eventually acquitted in court. I listened, then called him out for lying at first. He swore again that he never hit her and that it was all false. I get that people have a past, though ideally not one involving accusations of domestic violence. But what really bothers me is the way he first denied it, then claimed he forgot about it entirely. How does someone forget about being arrested for something so serious? This just doesn't sit right with me. I asked to see the police report and the court records.

Not because I think he's lying outright, but because I want the full picture. Until that point, the conversation had been calm. But the moment I asked for the documents, he completely lost it. He said I should just believe him and move on. To be clear, I've never felt unsafe with him, and I told him that. I don't believe he would hurt me. But the way he reacted, the denial, the sudden change in story, the refusal to share documents, makes me feel like he's hiding something.

But he's saying that if I don't trust him, we can't move forward. I know I could probably get the records myself, but if he won't be transparent with me, what does that say? Especially if I find something that contradicts what he told me. What would you do in this situation? Would you drop it, continue to ask him for the documents, or just try to get them yourself and see what it says? Down in the comments, we have this post from AnnaFixation. Hi, I was the crazy ex.

Not in this exact scenario. He didn't hit me. He'd have these furious meltdowns and scream at me and sometimes throw me out of the house. Over dumb stuff too. The first time he did it, I told him if he did it again, I was leaving. The second time he did it, I left. Then he started stalking me. For years. It was scary. He had a way of explaining himself that made people second-guess me. Even my mom didn't take me seriously. Until he asked her to help

kidnap me. The entire reason I went to the police, documented his behavior, and went through with the court hearing, even though I was terrified, was for you. For someone like you. For the next girl. He was already with the next girl by the time of the trial. She was there at the trial. He told her and anyone who would listen

that I was the crazy ex, even as he continued to stalk me. I hoped that she would see reason. She didn't, not then. She married him. They had multiple court cases. He eventually got custody of their kid, probably using the same manipulative tactics

he used on me and my family. Don't you dare let this drop. Find out the truth, quietly, and be ready to run. The fact that he straight lied to your face without missing a beat is a huge red flag. And you know it. You know it in your gut. Listen to your gut. Yeah, this person gave an answer far more eloquent than I possibly could But what stands out to me in this post is how someone can be so Blinded by their own love and affection and relationship that they miss Honestly the most obvious lie in human history. Hey, did you do X? No, I didn't do X

Well, here's this evidence that says you did X. Oh, that X! Yeah, I suddenly remember, I just forgot earlier. No, you didn't. It was obviously, obviously a lie. But OP is so wrapped up in her own emotions. I don't mean this to be negative to her, she's clearly going through it. But she's just so wrapped up that she can't see the very obvious red flags right in front of her face, so hopefully she gets out of that situation. Our next Reddit post is from throwaway again. I'm a 38-year-old man, and I'm considering divorce with my wife, who's 33, because of this past weekend.

My wife and I have been married for seven years and have three kids. After the second child, she had postpartum depression. It was so tough that it led to her having to leave her career and me taking on all financial responsibilities. I recommended we try couples counseling, which totally backfired. Rather than focus on how we can improve, it was heavily focused on the initial route of the relationship, which included me dating multiple women when we first started. This was known, but caused insecurity and a lack of trust at the core level. I understood the therapist's intent to get to the core of our relationship issues, but I felt the sessions were focused on my issues rather than our issues.

Even my wife would say out loud when hitting in, Time for us to go find out how messed up you are. I could laugh, but she acted like the weight of the relationship's issues were on me. So, postpartum, my wife was sleeping in and I was feeding our kids, cleaning, and working. And spending an hour every two weeks getting torn apart by a therapist. My wife was doing little to support our relationship and our family. Okay, so that was three years ago. We made it through this bump by instilling date nights.

Every week we have a babysitter and a date night. Also, we started being intimate more. That genuinely helped. She still doesn't clean, cook, or help with chores. And these are small things, but it obviously continues to bother me. We had another kid a year and a half ago. Last week, she realized that she missed her period. On Saturday, she took a pregnancy test. An old one we had lying around, and it showed a faint line. She still went out for drinks that night with friends. We were like, man, you might be pregnant.

Hooray? Mostly hooray? Kind of anxiety inducing. Sunday morning, I buy her two pregnancy tests. Me, I went out for it. I think that's an important note. I was the one that bought them and was anxious about it. She does the tests and the line shows up stronger. Crazy! She's pregnant! She had plans for brunch. Noon. She doesn't cancel. She goes out and drinks the whole time and doesn't come home until dinner time, smashed on martinis.

Without me, by the way, I'm watching the kids. She's maybe four to five weeks pregnant, who knows. I've been working in an office since Tuesday, but on Monday she told me she was scared. I told her that's fair, I'm scared too, but we'll make it work. Then we had dinner last night, and she was giving me flack the whole time about how mad she is and that she's pregnant. She wasn't on birth control. We didn't plan for this. But I think rather than just directly say, let's get in a bullsh**, she's just casually trying to cause a miscarriage. I've kind of evolved from being upset to being kind of furious and started reaching out to divorce lawyers today while at work.

Do you recommend a divorce? Yeah, I do. Even outside the baby issues, this is a screwed up marriage. It genuinely doesn't seem like either one of you love each other or are compatible on any level. OP is clearly unwilling to accept the fact that he caused the majority of their relationship's issues early on, which are probably still affecting them to this day, and the wife is out drinking with a baby in her belly.

And then both of you are passionately hugging without protection and then huh? What? Pregnant? How did that happen? There's literally only one way on earth to get pregnant, which is to have unprotected intercourse. And that's what we were doing and she got pregnant? How could this be? You morons.

You stupid. You idiots. How do you think it happened? By doing the one thing you have to do to make it happen? Yo, this is like someone holding a lighter to a firework and being like, oh man, I don't understand, how do these fireworks keep going off? So weird! You two both do not seem like very good people.

OP, please get a vasectomy. I feel really sorry for these kids. Especially if the newest one gets born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Our next Reddit post is from TemporaryHitAke. My wife and I, who are both 38, have been married for about 12 years and have two kids in elementary school.

She's the love of my life, and everything you read below should be rooted in the fact that I love her and I'm trying to be a good husband to her. So basically I pulled an Abed from community. I started becoming concerned that my wife was bipolar because she would sometimes be extremely energetic and fun and sexual and just kind of was this force to be reckoned with. Other times she would become so argumentative and standoffish and

unstable but also withdrawn and depressed that I worried she might do something to hurt herself. She always chalked it up to depression symptoms. I love her so much and it was obviously not fun for me to become her figurative punching bag but I always had hope because of the other person she could be. So in a moment of frustration after she accused me of something that wasn't happening, I decided I was going to track some of her behaviors for a year to see if I could learn anything that might help, and to make sure that I wasn't making this up. I didn't want a gotcha moment, I just wanted to see if I really

was remembering things inaccurately, because I felt like I knew what was going on. But the gaslighting about my memory was effective. As I've alluded to, I basically ended up tracking her menstrual cycle. From the time her period ends until maybe 10 days after, our average intercourse frequency is daily and hot. She gets a lot accomplished, and if anything, she's too ambitious about the number of projects she takes on. House projects, volunteering stuff, visiting a

friend who's lonely, organizing family outings to extend family events. It's like she has more energy than time to accomplish everything she wants to do. She's a wonderful wife and mother, showing lots of love and affection. I'd marry that woman twice. For the other 20 days a month, we have a sexless marriage. She's kind of just getting by emotionally at best. She works out less and she's moodier. In the weeks leading up to her period, she's borderline abusive. I try to get the kids out of the house as much as possible so they have fewer hours with her and generally just stay away from her.

If she was always that person, I'd divorce her. But I know that it's just cyclical now. Knowing about how she changes through a 30 day cycle has made me a better husband and better at anticipating her needs. Although like Abed, I think it would be creepy to explain how I got so much more thoughtful. So I'm not the first guy to notice that his girlfriend or wife is harder to be around at certain times of the month, and I'm trying not to be a Neanderthal here. I've got some life

experience, I've been in other serious relationships, and I'm a caring and loving husband. But this isn't normal. Her swings through the month are a much, much wider variance than what most people experience. Your average person seems to maintain who they are from week to week with just a little change up or down. But she's like two or three different human beings over the course of a cycle. Should I be worried about her health? If I should, is there a way to make these worries known without sounding like a psycho who tracked his wife's cycle? I do think it's gotten worse as we aged, and after she had our two kids.

I wonder if becoming a mother led to some postpartum depression and some knock-on effects, but I've never heard of period-onset bipolar disorder, which is what I feel like I'm experiencing. How can I take this random information I know and be the most helpful and least off-putting about what I know? Well, I can tell you this much, OP. Be careful about when you have this conversation with your wife. That much is obvious. Down in the comments, people are saying this is PMDD, which is actually a fairly serious medical condition because it can lead to some chemical imbalances that can cause cancer and just, you know, in general make your life miserable. So hopefully OP is able to send this advice over to his wife and improve everybody's lives.

That was r slash relationships and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because advice over to his wife and improve everybody's lives.