rSlash - r/Relationships Dad Put Hidden Camera in My Bedroom

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 Spy cam 8:04 Vacation without me 10:01 Ex housing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more. That's betterH-E-L-P.com. Welcome to r slash relationships where OP discovers that her stepfather put a hidden camera in her bedroom. Our next reddit post is from Katie Dababy. I'm a 21 year old woman and I found a spy camera in my room after my 36 year old stepdad put a surveillance camera in my window. My stepdad installed a surveillance camera positioned outside my window to scan our backyard while him and my mother and two younger brothers go camping.

I couldn't go on the trip since I had work so I was staying home to house sit and feed our animals. My stepdad recently put up new cameras outside so I didn't see anything wrong with him positioning one outside my window. The very next day I had my boyfriend's day over. He discovered that the surveillance camera that was ran from outside my window and into my room was being powered by one of those spy camera power blocks. So for clarity here, I think what OP means is that the cord for the outside camera runs inside of OP's room and that cord plugs into a power block with a hidden spy camera inside of it. So there's two cameras, one outside the house and one hidden inside of the power block.

For context, my relationship with my stepdad hasn't always been the best, and we tend to butt heads a lot. He's said a lot of questionable things in the past that I've written off because he's my dad and I would never think that he intended to be inappropriate or harmful. He's been in my life since I was 8 years old. Of course, I'm second guessing everything now that I found this camera. It was positioned to point directly at my bedroom door from the far wall, so it has a direct view of my entire room, which I change in. I tried desperately to rationalize it and think that maybe this was a

mistake, like he grabbed the wrong charger box, or maybe he was just trying to look for intruders. But really, there's no excuse for putting a camera in my bedroom. The camera even had an SD card in it. I'm beyond devastated. My stepdad even suggested that I invite my boyfriend over while they're gone so that I have someone here. That is so gross! Which is something my dad would normally never do considering he's made it clear before that he doesn't want my boyfriend over when no one is home. Because he doesn't want us screwing in his home. My boyfriend and I are going through the SD card to see if there's anything in it. I'm at a complete loss at how to even bring this up to my mom. I confided in my aunt and uncle since they live close by and they've been very supportive of me having a conversation with my mom about it. This whole situation is extremely upsetting.

I at least have some family to support me as I navigate this, but I don't even know how to having a conversation with my mom about it. This whole situation is extremely upsetting. I at least have some family to support me as I navigate this, but I don't even know how to bring this up to my mom. This is obviously going to change everything. She had my 5 year old brother with him. My mind is racing with the consequences that this is going to have on our family. Has anyone that's been in a similar situation have any advice? How can I do this without causing extreme damage to the family? Although that may not be possible.

Then OP posted an update. I went to the police station tonight and filed a police report and turned in the spy camera with the SD card. The officer said that this is a serious offense and will likely get a call early next week from an investigator due to the severity of the situation. I am planning on telling my mother about the police report after we have a conversation about this on Monday with my aunt and uncle present. This was the hardest thing that I ever had to do, but whatever that was, it's ending

with me. I hope I can get justice for myself and any other victims who may have been violated by him since this will be heavily investigated and the officer said that it will likely be looked into further, such as search warrants and looking for more SD cards. I'm hanging on by a thread, but the support I have is what's keeping me together. I'm staying with my boyfriend tonight to keep out of the house. Then OP posted another update. It's the next morning, and once my boyfriend wakes up, we're going back to my house today

to look for any more secret cameras, either in the bathroom or my brother's room, so I can submit them for more evidence. I'm iffy about searching my parents' room for more evidence, as it's likely that he has a hidden camera in there to see me do it. I'm still on the fence about having a cop search the house. If I do, I'll be sure to update after I'm finished and in a safe place. My aunt has offered to come with me to help me search. Then OP posted another update. After talking with my aunt, uncle, boyfriend, and my cousin who's a civil lawyer, I've

decided that I'll speak to my mom in a separate location from my stepdad. Most likely, I'll have her meet me somewhere outside of our home. I'll have my aunt with me and this is where I'll explain everything to her. The camera, the past uncomfortable experiences I've had with my stepdad that I originally brushed off because he was my dad, video footage of him deliberately setting it up and angling it and footage of me in my room. I'm praying she understands why I had to go to my aunt instead of her considering that she wasn't in town and I was worried for her safety if I told her what happened with him present.

I'm hoping with my aunt there and her being away from my stepdad that I'll prevent her from reacting out of anger and search for him and escalate the situation then and there and I hope my aunt can provide some support for myself and her. I'm prepared for her to go through the same process that I went through, such as reasoning and denial. But with this evidence, there's no possible way that she can deny it. I'm preparing myself for the worst. I just hope that I can be strong for her and support her as this hits her like it did me. I will not be returning home or facing my stepdad today. My boyfriend will be on standby to pick up my brothers if needed, since my aunt has offered

for them to stay with us so my mom can talk to my stepdad without them there. I'll ask my mom to meet me and, of course, not tell my stepdad about the circumstances. Then almost a year later, OP posted an update. A lot of you probably want to hear that my boyfriend and I got justice for what my mother's husband did to us. I really, really wish I could say that we did, but given our terrible police system and outside factors, we have not. I keep in contact with my brothers and my mom, but contact is now severely limited because

of the situation. It pains me to not be able to see my younger brothers like I used to, but honestly it isn't my choice and I've come to accept it. My mother is still with him and she continues to isolate herself from the family. Whether that's because of her husband or her own shame, I'm not sure. Maybe both? I know a lot of you were rooting for me and wishing me nothing but the best, so I'll give you some updates on my personal growth. My boyfriend and I moved in together, I graduated nursing school and I started my new job last month.

We've been trying to heal from what happened and we've been growing our relationship. We're planning a trip together soon. I'm still surrounded by some amazing friends and family, my aunt and uncle, who have been our rocks through this and helped us cope with everything. I am at a place where I can feel that I can finally talk about everything again. So I'll do my best to answer some questions. As far as for what my stepdad told my mom, my mom still genuinely believes that he made a mistake and intended on using the camera as a smoking gun to catch me having people over. Which, as discussed before, he literally told

me to invite my boyfriend over. My mom genuinely believes that he made an oopsie and wasn't thinking when he put the very much working, wifi capable spy camera in my bedroom. My mom has been brainwashed by an expert narcissist. If you live with one, you'd understand how they can quite literally screw with your head and your own understanding of reality. Well, even though OP has a terrible, terrible bottom of the barrel stepdad and mom, at least she has an amazing boyfriend. How on earth did that boyfriend manage to spot a hidden spy camera the first time he

was over? I guess because the stepdad had just installed security cameras, he thought, huh, I wonder if there are any other cameras and then maybe he thought, maybe there's a hidden camera. I don't know, but that boyfriend is hawkeye'd. Our next reddit post is from Deleted. I'm 21 years old and I found out that my whole family was going on a vacation when I was told to look after the family pets. My siblings have yet to move out of our childhood home and I've been off at university.

I am so empty and it feels horrible. I've been trying to act like I didn't care, but when they were driving to the airport I couldn't stop crying. My mother was so hurt and they kept saying that they loved me. The last time we went on a family vacation was like 8 years ago. I've been crying so much that I had cramps in my abdomen. I wrote them a message trying to make them understand what I was feeling and that it hurt me a lot.

They responded that I was ruining their vacation and to just accept it. They said they thought that I wanted to be free. I know that it might have been a butthole move to mention this on the first day of their vacation but the pictures they sent being all happy made my emotions that I've tried to hide come through. I've never felt this left out and I feel like I'm not a family member. I'm trapped in the house taking care of an animal when they're out being a family on holiday.

I feel heartbroken. My plan right now is to leave the pet with a relative and go back to university and dive into school to forget. How can I forgive them? Has this happened to anyone else? Also, in an edit, OP clarifies that they would have paid for their vacation themselves if they knew about it. OP writes,

They even brought my 19-year-old brother who complained that he would rather play video games at home. So they're all there, the whole family. They brought my brother so that it would be a family trip. I wouldn't have batted an eye if only my sister went. Oof, that stings, OP. The one-two punch of abandoning you and then criticizing you for calling them out on it is just too much in my book.

If I were in your shoes, I would probably consider going no contact because if they're not going to treat you like family, then why should you treat them like family? Our next reddit post is from Raidstar. Three years ago, during COVID, my ex-wife Petunia cheated on me. We have one young son and we've been married for seven years. I tried to work things out, but her mom convinced her she cheated because she was unhappy with me. It was a very high conflict divorce and at first I made a few bad decisions, like letting her have access to our joint bank account. I had a ton of false police allegations against me and CPS calls, so I started recording everything on camera. I walked around with a body cam outdoors.

I was utterly self-monitored to avoid any allegations. A week after I put up the cameras, I caught her and her family breaking into my house. Legally speaking, she didn't get arrested because we're still married, but it does look bad in court. However, I took my lawyer's advice and accepted the custody that my state gives fathers. Fortunately for me, my ex-wife fell in love with someone in a European country and handed away most of the rights to my son. Most as in I got full custody but she retained legal custody. As in she could pull him out of school or get his medical records.

My lawyer said this protected me if we went back to court because she would probably win before that and I would look bad. One year later, she's getting divorced a second time and is moving in with our mutual friend. The divorce happened about a month ago and during this time, she hasn't attempted to visit my son. As a side note here, my lawyer advised me to play it cool, don't antagonize her and don't withhold our son.

Also, he told me to buy a house. I'm in a position to do so now. And to set down roots to make it harder to take my son away from me. Again, our divorce was high conflict and I was terrified that she would try to take him away from me. I am more than willing to allow her to see her son and I want to do the right thing and let my son grow up happy. Honestly, that's all I care about. Her history says that she's highly volatile and I'm concerned. Well, here's the core problem. The crux is that she wants to move in with me for a few weeks until her YouTube career

takes off. I'm not insane, so I don't have any confidence in this career. I also question her mental health. So our mutual friends that my ex-wife is staying with, a couple with three kids, grew tired of petunia and for good reason. They assume that she would do the usual thing, get a job and get back on her feet. They also work very hard and sometimes struggle to get by. So them working 10 hours a day and then coming home to see someone doing absolutely nothing

is very discouraging. They gave her a deadline to get out or they would involve legal matters. That deadline is in a few days. So, Petunia has decided to call me and ask if she could live with me for a few weeks. Petunia has also joined some new age religion. It's called the Aetherius Society. Hold up, I gotta look this up. What do these people believe? The Aetherius Society is a new religious movement founded by George King in the 50s. He claimed he was in contact with extraterrestrial intelligences to whom he referred to as Cosmic Masters. The main goal of the believer is to cooperate with these cosmic masters to help humanity

solve its current earthly problems and advance into the new age. It combines UFO claims, yoga, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity. The founder proclaimed, prepare yourself! You are to become the voice of interplanetary parliament! Okay, well, that's what the Atheria Society is, so back to the story. OP continues, I am religious, so I'm careful not to make fun of other religions. But she started with tarot reading, which led to going on to TikTok, and she believes that she's a starseed and an ancient alien who came to spread light to Earth.

It seems like a mix of paganism, Buddhism, and other spiritual things mashed into one. I'm trying not to rant about reincarnations and talking with aliens here, so I've deleted many paragraphs of the issues that I take with it. She thinks that she's a chosen being, risen above the masses, and of course that plays strongly into her ego. Everyone internally wants to feel that they're unique and believing that you're some royal bloodline feeds into that.

Right now, I'm legitimately suspecting mental illness. Our mutual friends tell me that they don't recognize her anymore and that she's being secretive and not letting them know what's happening. I'm a single dad with 100% custody and zero support from the other parents. My dating life is also not looking great, but I have a promising career and we get by. I'm incredibly fortunate in a lot of ways. I've been getting a ton of therapy for my co-dependent behaviors, and I don't need this. She tells me that she'll be homeless if I don't take her in. She's not speaking with her immediate family because she moved to another country. If I let her move in with me though, it will seriously affect my mental health.

What the heck do I do? I'm leaning towards calling her bluff and letting her figure it out, though it appears that she will never get a job. Would the courts hate that? I'm very uncomfortable with this position. And then OP posted an update. I officially declined. I feel lighter. Like wow, that's a ton of responsibility that I don't have to have. I know a lot of you were like, wow, how could you even consider this? You're insane! Yeah, I'm a recovering codependent and I have a very difficult time setting boundaries and saying no I feel strange even saying no, but also I feel much better Mad with power even anyways, she didn't respond but she did leave me on read. Thanks for the energy guys I appreciate you all. Oh, that was a relief man Man, OP, if someone accused me of physical violence or abusing my own child, I would

never ever for the rest of my life be in the same room as that person. Obviously, because I would hate that person and I would want nothing to do with them, but also just because of my own safety, I don't ever want to give that person ammo or a chance to say, oh, well, I saw him doing such and such, which is a complete lie because she's psycho. That was r slash relationships. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.