rSlash - r/Relationships Girlfriend Thinks I "Unalived" Someone

Episode Date: December 12, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Was not me 3:20 Recorded meetings 7:00 Uncomfortable 10:50 Toxic 12:53 Messages Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is sponsored by ORA Frames. Aura Frames is a digital picture frame that makes the perfect Christmas gift. You can store unlimited free photos and videos straight from your phone. If you're buying it for a special someone, you can preload the frame with photos and even a personalized message before it ships. And even a personalized message before it ships. Even better, every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no extra cost. You can't wrap togetherness, but you can frame it.

limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35 off ORA's best-selling Carver matte frames, named number one by wirecutter by using promo code R-slash at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frams.com, promo code R-slash. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Hi, I'm Gustavo Sorolla, and if you love D&D-Style adventures full of humor

in heart, you should check out Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Tales from the Stinky Dragon is a cinematic listening experience complete with guest performances from professional voice actors and comedians, immersive sound design, and its own musical score. Go on a thrilling journey with four friends and me, Gus, their very patient, dungeon master, as we stumble through disastrous dice rolls, questionable roleplay decisions, and even a few wholesome feel-good moments along the way. You can binge our first two campaigns or join us every other week for our latest third

campaign. No matter where you decide to start listening, you're guaranteed to have a side-splitting journey that's fun for all ages and perfect for both D&D veterans and you newcomers alike. Just search for Tales from the Stinky Dragon, wherever you listen to podcast and subscribe today. Welcome to R slash relationships, where O.P might be a murderer, possibly. Our next Reddit post is from L2P. I think that my wife thinks that I murdered her ex. For context, I'm a 25-year-old guy and my wife is 23. About a month ago, while out shopping, my wife and I ran into her high school boyfriend and his mom on the street. It was a slightly awkward encounter. His mom made

a comment about how good they look standing next to each other, like it was meant to be. We said we were in a bit of a hurry, and as we were walking away, he said something along the lines of, hey, we should grab coffee sometime. I didn't think too much of it at the moment. Sure, his mom was awkward, but they'd been broken up for about seven years, and I do think he meant it just to be friendly. But we still had a quick check-in after, where we both agreed it was awkward, and that I wasn't too upset, and that I wouldn't even necessarily mind them meeting for coffee, provided that it became clear that he still had no feelings. Or if he was making advances, she would cut him out. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to take him up on it, so it was purely

hypothetical. That evening, I met up with some friends for drinks, and I was home at 1 a.m. The next morning, my wife got a message from her friend that her ex died that night. We got a few more details over the next couple of days, but it seemed he suffered from epilepsy. And that night, in a freak accident, he had a seizure, fell, and fatally hit his head. As far as I know, there was no foul play suspected, or criminal investigation, or anything like that. In the weeks since, my wife has started acting really strange. She hasn't been abnormally sad that he died, but more like cautious and fearful around me. She hasn't made any kind of direct accusation, but had been asking me a lot of questions about

where I went drinking with my friends, who I was with, what time each person arrived and left, etc. She's lately mentioned that she wanted to spend some time with a friend to catch up for about a week. I don't know how to address this. It feels crazy to have to ask her whether she thinks I murdered him or have to tell her

that I didn't. I'm afraid to even bring it up and whether that would just feed into whatever she seems to be going through. Any thoughts on how to deal with this? For the record, I did not murder her ex. I don't know, O.P. Maybe start with just asking

her, what's going on, communicate, have an open discussion with her, say, hey, you've been acting kind of strange recently. Are things okay? And I hate to say it, I kind of sympathize with her. The coincidence really doesn't look good for you. So if I were in hers shoes, I'd be like, hmm, did he slip out and murder my ex at 1 a.m. the day after we ran into each other on the street? So it's like wrong of her to think that without any evidence, obviously. But at the same time, How can you not wonder? But still, I think once the police reports came out that it was a freak accident, then you have to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, right?

I like this comment from deleted. For the record, I did not murder her ex. Sounds like something a murderer would say. This is comments. I think the best option for you is to wake her up in the middle of the night and insist that you didn't kill her ex. Yeah, that one should work, O.B. our next Reddit post is from affectionate oil. I'm a 28-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is 29. We've been together for almost a year. I could go on and on about all the ways we're compatible, and I really adore him. However, I'm running into this issue where I'm not sure if I'd be a butthole to reject what I suppose are my boyfriend's bids for attention. There are things my boyfriend likes to share with me that I think are awkward and strange for me to be watching or reading. For example, last night, he wanted me to watch his

30 minutes performance review that he'd recorded. At first I thought he was joking, but he was totally serious, so I did. I sat down and watched a 30-minute conversation between him and his boss. He often insists that I read these long email threads from his work that demonstrate how well he's doing, and he tries to get me to watch recorded meetings. He also writes up these insanely long documents, using ChatGPT, to work out plans for how to fix society and the world for the better. At first I actually read them. But now I just skim and pull out high points I can mention so that he'll think I read it. This is awful, I know. But the couple of times

that I've told him I'm too tired or busy to read or watch what he's given or sent me, he's not reacted well. He asks if I even care about him and he gets really pouty and rude. When I try to backtrack and agree to read or watch whatever it is, he tells me that it's too late because I've already shown how I really feel. This is really frustrating, and I try to tell him that I'm trying to find a solution that addresses the problem and doesn't attack either of us personally, but he won't have it. A part of me wonders that if I really did love or care about him, I wouldn't feel exhausted and awkward watching and reading what he gives me. I think the reason this feels off-putting or strange to me is that it feels more like a little kid asking their mom to look over and approve their school project than it does a partner wanting to share something that they're proud of. It's also upsetting because I'm a writer and he's always too busy to read the writing that I want to share with him. I've even written erotica about us and poems I'd like him to read, but he says he'll get to reading it, but he never does. What I'm here to ask is, how can I either gently let my boyfriend down or have a productive conversation where we

agree to respect and appreciate the things that both of us would like to share? I want to fix the communication around this, and I don't even know where to start. We don't otherwise have major snags in our communication. I'm totally willing to accept that my desire to reject these things from my boyfriend makes me a butthole, by the way. I've just never dealt with something like this in a relationship. I've made a bunch of YouTube channels, like four or five over the years, and none of my friends or family or even my wife watch any of them, because they're just not the intended audience. That doesn't mean they're not supportive. It just means it's not to their tastes, and I know it's not to their tastes, and I'm not offended by this. My wife likes to take

pictures of her food and post them on her social media, but I don't go look at her pictures of food because I don't care about that stuff. That's just how it goes, man. So expecting someone to read something as boring as a long chat GPT document about how to save the world, this guy's so delusional. He really thinks he's that interesting, that special. If reading garbage like that was a necessity to date someone, I couldn't do it. That just sounds like straight up

torture. O.P., try just not doing it. You know what I mean? Just no thanks. Not going to do it, especially since you won't read my stuff. Go screw yourself. Our next credit post is from Elephant Number 3. Me and my brother John are very different people and always have been. I'm a nerdy guy who likes

playing Dungeons and Dragons and works from home coding websites. My brothers always been sporty and has one of those corporate office jobs where I swear half of his work is just playing golf and going to fancy lunches. We didn't always get along, but we're pretty good these days. John started dating his girlfriend, Jane, a few years back, during what was a pretty low point for me in life. I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship that had ended anything but amicably, was burning out of the career that I went to college for, and in general was about two paychecks away from having to move in with my folks. The stress of it all was taking a toll on my body.

I went from the lightly chubby I'd been my whole life to just straight up fat. And shortly after the breakup, I had an anxiety attack so bad it put me in the hospital. It was not a good time to get to know me. I was basically the picture of a screw-up older brother. But I turned it around. I got the mental health assistant I needed to diagnose and treat some long-standing issues. But with That is a springboard, I started exercising more and eating better, finding cooking to be a good hobby that also led to me eating less takeout and processed foods. I'm still no Adonis. I got a bit of a tummy, but I'm much stronger and I feel better. I was able to quit my job and find a new one in a field that I never considered, but that I found I loved enough that I'm going back to school

to work on a PhD in the fall so I can pursue it to a greater extent. And finally, I started dating again, Flo, who was a better match for me than my ex, which all brings us to the night that things went wrong. We have a family gathering at my parents' house, extended family and all, plus Jane and Flo. I'm making dinner, Beef Wellington. Everyone is raving about my food. I also did dinner this past Thanksgiving as well. And also my recent glow-up, my new job, the program I got into, etc. I'm smiling politely and mostly just trying to do a bunch of dinner prep while they won't get out of my away. Then, Jane says, yeah, never thought I'd picked the wrong brother, but I'm starting to think that I might have. You could hear a pin drop. I said nothing, again, just awkwardly laughed at what I

assumed to have been a bad joke. Jane's face immediately changed to the look of someone who had just only realized their screw up. John looked pissed, and the two of them left the kitchen shortly after. From what I could see, she seemed to be trying to apologize to him, while he looked really hurt. My relative said nothing, not immediately anyway. Flo kind of just winced and later told me that it was really awkward having to stand there, but she didn't know what else to do that wouldn't have escalated things or put me on the spot. That was over two months ago and both John and Jane avoid me like the plague. Not even a text since then. Whenever I meet up with my relatives, they bad mouth Jane over it. And while I think Jane did screw up saying that, I really

do think she was just making a bad joke. Personally, I think they're overreacting. This aside, I think she's probably the first person he's ever dated who was a fit for him in terms of personality and lifestyle. The only person being normal about it is Flo, who thinks that it was weird, but like me, just a dumb thing to say. There's no jealousy. She knows Jane isn't my type. How do I clear the air with Jane and John and get people to stop bringing this up? I'm sick of hearing about it, and I just want to go back to how things were before. Right now, it just feels like a dark cloud over all of our interactions. I also think this is probably just a really dumb and bad joke. The thing is, dumb and bad jokes can ruin relationships. It's a super

hurtful thing to say, to be honest. Our next Reddit post is from Educational Host. I'm a 29-year-old woman, and I'm planning to leave my completely financially dependent and toxic partner, a 34-year-old guy. How do I warn him that he needs to get it together? My partner and I moved out of our home state four years ago when I got a job. He hasn't had a job since, and I struggle significantly to get all the bills paid. He spends hundreds or more dollars a week on weed, which makes it more difficult, and I have to pay for everything. He complains about my cooking, but doesn't cook either, so we have to eat out often. He gets in very foul moods where he slams things, yells, calls me names, etc. At the beginning of April, I told him I don't want to be with him anymore. I told him that if he

reacted aggressively to my feelings, I would plan to leave him without warning. He reacted aggressively by slamming things, and then I decided to work outside of the apartment because he was being so loud, and I worked from home. He found the cubicle where I was working in our building, barged in, got in my face, and called me a whore among other things. When I made the comments in April, I promised myself that I would leave. I believe that part of the reason he reacts so negatively to me saying these things is that it means he will lose access to housing, food, a car, etc. He doesn't talk to his family. He does have one close friend whose family he can maybe stay with, although I'm not sure. I partner will be out of town for a week or less this summer,

and I plan to pack up and leave then. I don't know how to go about this, and what I should say, if anything, given his previous reactions. My therapist connected me with a domestic violence organization, who is going to help me break my lease. I don't know how to go about telling him that he needs to start taking action to support himself, given his reaction in the past. He won't know where I'm going. However, he does know where my mom lives, and that kind of freaks me out. I think O.P. has already given her boyfriend enough grace by being the sole, homemaker, and breadwinner for four years straight. So O.P. doesn't owe this guy anything. Our next credit post is from Throwaway Frisbee. I just found out that my mom has a

been sending my girlfriend cruel messages for who knows how long. I don't know how to handle this. I'm 36 and my girlfriend is 32. Generally, not much rattles me. My friends call me a stoic, emotionally constipated idiot, and they're not wrong, which is why we're all still a little stunned that the love of my life is basically my opposite. I've been with my girlfriend for eight years, known her for 10. She's quiet, gentle, brilliant, an actual whole professor, and genuinely one of the kindest people I've ever met. She's silly, shy, goofy in the best ways, and loves to poke fun. I love all of it. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone ever in this lifetime. But last night, something happened that I can't let go of. My phone was charging, so I was

scrolling Instagram reels on her phone like I usually do. One of her friends DM'd her. Normally, I'd send back some dumb reaction photos so they know it's me, just a thing in our circle. But it wasn't a joke. It was screenshots that my girl was. had sent her friend and the friend was trying to comfort her. I hesitated, then opened the screenshots to read better. And I'm glad I did. I don't even regret it anymore because what I saw were multiple messages from my mother, cruel ones, and the timestamps weren't all from the same day. So I don't know how long this has been happening. A week? Longer? No idea. Here's some of the messages that my mom sent to my girlfriend. Maybe he hasn't proposed because you haven't given him a child. Men don't marry

placeholders. If you stop dressing like a teenage boy and put on some makeup, maybe he'd see you as a wife instead of one of his little friends. You're keeping him from his family. He used to visit. For clarity, I'm the one who pulled back because of my mom's behavior towards one of my sisters. That's a whole other issue, so nothing to do with my girlfriend. You think you're special. You're lucky he even brought you home. Girls like you don't get commitment from men like him. You're not good enough for the life he deserves. Reading them made my stomach drop. They were hateful and completely false. There's even more, but these were the ones seared into my brain. And my girlfriend didn't tell me about any of them. She's just been carrying this alone, smiling, laughing with me, all while this garbage was sitting

in the back of her mind. My girlfriend avoids conflict. She hates upsetting anyone. I get it. It's easier to talk to a friend first, and my mom can be intense. She probably didn't want to put me in a position where it looked like choosing sides. But I've chosen, and it's not her I'm angry with. I'm furious at my mother. I'm exhausted by this. She knows how much my girlfriend means to me. She hears me talk about her constantly. I really thought that she might actually be happy for me. At the same time, I don't want to make this harder on my girlfriend or make her feel exposed.

So here's where I need advice. Do I tell my girlfriend gently that I saw the messages that I'm on her side and she doesn't need to shield me from my own mother? Or do I handle my mother privately and not bring it up unless my girlfriend does? I just want her to feel safe and supported. And it makes me sick that she's been dealing with this alone. I mean actually sick. I'm just watching her make breakfast and I just, what's the best approach that prioritizes her well-being first? O.P., you said you might want to tell your girlfriend that your girlfriend doesn't need to shield your mother from you? But it's the opposite. You need to shield your girlfriend from your mother.

I think you're pretty solidly in no contact or at least low contact territory. If I found out my mom was sending these messages to my wife, I'd go ballistic. I would probably cut her out of my life completely. That was our slash relationships. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast. because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. At Fandual Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games and all of your favorite casino classics,

like slots, table games, and arcade games. Get more on Fandual Casino. Download the app today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerned about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1866-531-2,600, to speak to an advisor free of charge. Thank you.