rSlash - r/Relationships HELP! I'm Black And My White Boyfriend Supports Slavery

Episode Date: August 29, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice Today's story is one of the strangest posts I've ever read. OP is a black woman dating a white guy, and everything in their relationship has been perfectly fine. Eventually the topic of slavery comes up, and OP's boyfriend says that she shouldn't criticize slavery because she actually would have had a good life during that time period as a white-passing slave. OP is shocked because... well, who wouldn't be shocked by something like that?! If you like this episode, follow for more Reddit stories! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Childhood vaccines have been around for decades and are safe and proven to help protect children against 14 preventable diseases. Learn more at Canada.ca slash childhood vaccines. A message from the government of Canada. Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash relationship advice. My 23-year-old girlfriend's obsession with Pokemon is embarrassing me. So my girlfriend loves Pokemon. Sometimes when we go out, she'll ask me if it's alright if she checks for some Pokestops on Pokemon Go. When someone we know talks about

Pokemon, my girlfriend gets really excited and wants to be friends on Pokemon Go right away. She also has many Pokemon pluses, all of them in our shared bedroom. At first it was cute, but my friends are starting to make fun of me for dating a child. My girlfriend is very mature and an amazing partner, but when I brought up her obsession with Pokemon is embarrassing for her age, she felt insulted and told me that her liking and playing Pokemon is no different than me playing League of Legends and Minecraft. Still, my buddies are making fun of us, and I'm afraid she'll get hurt when she hears them. What do I do?

How do I convince her to maybe tone it down a little? My friends are visiting us, and I'm sure they'll make fun of her once they see all of her plushies. The top comment of this post was made by Brighton, he says, get some new friends. I agree OP, to be honest, I wouldn't trust anyone who doesn't like Pokemon. And then OP posted an update. Turns out, all of you were right, I was a butthole. My friends are no longer welcome in our house, and I'm not playing with my girlfriend.

I've decided to post this update because all of you were right. I didn't have a girlfriend problem, I had a friend's problem. So I had to talk with my girlfriend like one of the users suggested. I explained to her that I'm not ashamed of her hobby, I just didn't want her to know what our friends were saying behind her back. She said she doesn't care about their opinion, she's just doing what she's enjoying the most. I apologize to her, and she also agreed to move her Pokemon plus she so they wouldn't

take up so much space. Fast forward to today, and a hours ago, our friends visited us. It didn't take long for them to start making fun of my girlfriend. This time, I got mad. She moved all of her plushies so they were in our bedroom and she not even once mentioned Pokemon,

nor did she open the Pokemon Go app. Long story short, they were forced to leave. I've realized they don't have a problem with my girlfriend's hobby. They have a problem with my girlfriend and I enabled their behavior by not reacting sooner. I'm trying to level up as much as I can because she is a mission where she needs to trade a Pokemon with a friend, but to do so I need to be at least level 10. Thank you for all your comments. Even the mean ones, they've worked as a wake up call I guess.

OP I'm so proud of you. This is honestly like the perfect response to a relationship problem. You identified the problem, realized that you were wrong, removed the toxic relationships in your life, and then backed up your girlfriend. Round of applause OP, you handled this perfectly. I'm a 15 year old girl, and my dad's girlfriend is trying to get rid of me. My mom passed away five years ago, and I think of her every day. My dad went through a really bad depression, and I had to take care of myself, basically.

During the Christmas holidays, my dad told me that he had been seeing someone for a while. I noticed that he was happier and I guess I was happy for him. I didn't want him to be lonely forever, but I did feel like my mom was being erased completely. He never wanted to talk about her and he got rid of all of his pictures of her. He said that his girlfriend would be spending Christmas with us and then moving in. I wasn't happy at all. I don't even know her, but I didn't say anything. I met her on Christmas and usually my dad and I put the star on the tree that day. We would put the star on the tree and watch the Grinch. It's our tradition and we kept doing it even when we were grieving my mom. It's

the only tradition from when she was with us that we actually kept. When his girlfriend came over, he put the star on with her while I was in the bathroom. Also, we didn't watch the Grinch because she hates it. I know I sound spoiled and childish, but I was so angry. We've been doing this my whole life, and she just came in and destroyed it. The whole night, she didn't even bother getting to know me at all. She was all over my dad and pretty much ignored me. I told my dad how upset I was about our tradition and he said I should just grow up and that things

change. I didn't like her because she gave me a bad feeling so I never got close to her. She complained to my dad about it and he got mad at me for not making her feel welcome. I felt bad because she makes my dad really happy so I tried being more friendly with her. In front of my dad she was nice to me but when we were alone she ignored me or spoke to me with attitude. She even told me that I was a brat and I make my dad's life harder. I told him that but he didn't believe me and yelled at me for trying to sabotage his relationship. He said that I wanted him to die alone and be sad and that I was selfish. I was so shocked because none of this is true. My dad basically treated me like I wasn't there

at all after that. I felt like I did when my mom died, all alone. I stayed up really late one night because I just couldn't sleep and went into sneak in a midnight snack. The girlfriend was in the kitchen on FaceTime so I decided to be nosy and listen. She was talking about my dad and how much she loves him. Then she said that he had this dumb daughter, and she wondered if it was too late for adoption. Her and her friend laughed at that. She said that I was a little beward and that she hated me.

Her friend then said something about boarding school or military school, but I left so I didn't hear the rest. I was so exhausted from other crying I did, so I actually slept. I didn't tell my dad and I don't even know if I should since he probably won't believe me. I really miss my mom. I kinda wanna go live with my grandparents now, my mom's parents, but I don't want my dad to think that I'm leaving him. What do I do? Can I even do anything? How do I get my dad to listen to me? Would I be wrong for leaving? And then O.P. posted an update. Hi, since my last post, I spoke to my grandparents and told them everything.

I asked if I could stay with him if I wanted to, and they agreed. I then spoke to my dad again and tried to tell him how I felt and what I'd heard. I didn't want to film a record because I knew that he would be mad at that and wouldn't listen. He didn't believe me again and thought that I was just jealous of having to share him with someone else. I got upset and told him that I was leaving so he could live happily ever after without the burden of having me around.

He looked shocked, but didn't say anything. What do I love getting my holiday gifts at Chopper's Drug Mart, the PC Optimum Points? Perfume for Mom? Points for Me. Gaming Council for the Kids? Points for Me? Chalkets for the Teachers? Oh yeah, Points for Me. Shoppers. You should totally go. Exclusions apply.

You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 in new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now a boarding business class. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as an MX.ca slash business platinum. I had already packed my bags and had brought some things to my grandparents' house already. My dad didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

My grandfather picked me up and I've been there since. I haven't gone home and I haven't heard from my dad. My grandparents told me that they would handle my dad and that I shouldn't have been the one doing it. I'm upset that my dad hasn't called or texted me once to see if I'm okay. At the same time, I'm feeling so much better being with my grandparents. My grandmother is probably the sweetest person ever, and my grandfather is a little rough around the edges, but he's really a softie.

OP, I have two things to say. First, this was not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong here, and in fact, it sounds like you really made an effort to make things right, but your dad just wasn't willing to hear you. Secondly, your dad is a full-blown tool bag. The way he's treating you, his own daughter is disgusting, and he doesn't deserve to have you in his life. I think you made the right call by moving in with your grandparents. My anti-backed mom started crying after I said I didn't want to associate with anti-backed protests and threatened not to I didn't want to associate with anti-backs

protests and threatened not to help me pay for my college if I got a flu shot. So to preface this, I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm an incoming freshman in college. I'm going to a UC but I got into the school's semi-competitive engineering program and it was one of my top choices for college. I absolutely love the school. Unfortunately, the UC system just instituted a new rule that all students need to get a flu shot before they can attend. My mom has been incredibly upset about this for the past two days. She called me up about an hour ago to talk about how I wanted to deal with the problem of having to get a flu shot.

She was asking me to reconsider going to another college halfway across the country because they don't require flu shots. The school isn't nearly as good in terms of engineering. It's a long way away and it's expensive as hell for out-of-state students. I have zero desire to go there. I told her this wasn't the hill I wanted to die on. I don't think getting a flu shot is really that big of a deal, and I certainly don't want it to be the reason I end up not going to my top choice college. She got angry with me and basically implied that she wouldn't pay for me to attend college if I got the shot. I would be completely on my own.

Then she said, Why don't you march your protest yourself down to City Hall? I'm sure you can find people who will protest getting vaccinations with you. For context, I organized a Black Lives Matter march in our city back in June, so she's referencing that. And I responded, I'm not sure if I want to associate with those people, which I know was super mean and sounds awful to me in hindsight. She started crying and hung up on me after that.

My mom and I seemed to be at odds about everything right now. She was upset with me for organizing the Black Lives Matter March, she doesn't like most of my political views, and she's even threatened to burn a book I was reading by Richard Dawkins about evolution because he advocated for cannibalism, and she seems to vaguely think that evolution is a lie, despite not being religious as far as I can tell. I also had to get a series of vaccinations in ninth grade to attend my high school, which my dad took me to get, and which my mom is still extremely upset about almost four years

later. I feel like this whole disaster is going to be the final straw though. I just really need some advice on how to deal with this before she comes home from work and get super mad and start yelling at me. Alright OP, in my position as R-Slash, I have read a ton of stories from young adults in similar positions as yours. And in far too many of these stories, the adults have basically destroyed the lives of their kids just because they think that they're right and they want to teach their kid a lesson. So I just want to say to tread carefully because right now your mother is holding your entire college education over your head and you really can't let her throw that away for you.

What I would do is just lie and tell my mother that I explained my situation to the office and they gave me a pass. And if my mom were still skeptical, I would Photoshop a letter from the college explaining that I didn't have to get a shot due to my personal beliefs. We've been in a relationship for four years and lived together. It's the first series relationship for both of us, and although it hasn't always been easy,

we've never had any significant problems. We're on the same page on most topics, racism, politics, finances, et cetera, or so I thought at least. Now with all these issues going on, We're on the same page on most topics, racism, politics, finances, etc. Or so I thought at least. Now with all these issues going on, we're talking about race a bit more than usual. For the record, I'm biracial, but I have what most consider Eurocentric features, so a lot of times people can't really tell where I'm from.

Fast forward a few days ago. We were watching 12 years of slave, and I made some comments about how horrible slavery was. That's when he dropped the bomb that I actually shouldn't criticize slavery at all since I look white enough that I would have benefited from the system. Honestly, it felt like he wanted to say that for a long time. I asked him what the FEMINT by that and he said that me complaining about racism be littles the experience of black people. I told him that I wouldn't have benefited from slavery at all since I'm literally 50% black despite my looks.

He said that even if I didn't directly benefit, I would have lived a comfortable life in that era. I asked how, and he said that slave owners kept mixed women as mistresses, so I would have spent most of my time being treated well and quote, popping out white babies. He made it sound like it was a complete luxury. At this point, I was so appalled that I called him an ignorant idiot and we started arguing. He said that I'm just an exotic looking white girl who's trying to feel oppressed and that I'm just as privileged as him.

I told him that he really has no idea what he's talking about, and then he started ignoring me. We haven't spoken for a few days, although he tried to initiate intercourse a few times and seems to be warming up to me again, and I really don't know what to do. He's never said something so ridiculous. I'm just so angry at his stupid comments and immaturity. So first of all, let's get one thing out of the way. Absolutely anybody can and should criticize slavery. I mean, as a white guy, I think we can pretty much all agree. Slavery

sucks. And just because OP passes as a white person, that doesn't make them any less entitled to complain about slavery. Because universally, slavery is just wrong. Like, I thought we were at a point in society where we could just agree on that point. Slavery equals bad. And onto the second point, OP, it sounds like your boyfriend finally let his facade slip and its reveal that he's both sexist and racist. This guy thinks that being a baby factory for a plantation owner is a life of luxury? What bizarre alternate reality does this guy actually live in? That was our slash relationship advice, and if you liked this podcast, then check out my Patreon where I publish extra content. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast every single day.

content. Also, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast every single day.