rSlash - r/Relationships Help! My Sister Is Trying to Steal My Boyfriend!

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice OP is at her wit's end. OP has an apartment with her boyfriend, and her sister recently moved in to stay with the two of them during the quarantine. Almost immediately, OP's sis...ter started trying to seduce her boyfriend. She regularly walks around in her underwear, tries to get one-on-one time with OP's man, and she even asks the boyfriend's help in hooking up her bra. OP is completely frustrated and doesn't know what to do, so she's turned to the Internet for help! If you like this podcast and want to see more, hit the subscribe button for daily Reddit podcasts! Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrWJahFoiWo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:27 Welcome to our slash relationship advice where OP discovers that her male roommate is stalking her. This is going to be long. I'm warning you. I'm angry. I'm frustrated and I'm shaking. I need to write it down and hear some advice. My sister is just so creepy towards my boyfriend. I can't take it anymore. She was really spoiled by my parents when she was young because she was their first child. She always wants everything and when we were little, she always used to steal my toys and books and clothes, etc.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I was never allowed to touch any of her things, but she constantly stole my stuff and was always rude to me. My mom, for some reason, has always preferred her over me and thus, most of the time, I was told to let it go. Due to this, I have lots of resentment towards her and I don't really like her. I'm honestly sick of her behavior and I just want some peace and quiet in my house. My mom called me two weeks ago pleading to let my sister stay with me because she doesn't have a job right now and she can't stay alone during quarantine. Both my parents are high risk. My mom has heart problems and my dad is asthmatic, so I thought I should let her stay with me
Starting point is 00:01:39 and my boyfriend instead of letting her go to my parents in case she infects them. There's been a few cases where she is, so I don't want to risk it. Now I'm honestly starting to regret it. Her behavior is creepy and strange and downright disgusting. First of all, she doesn't respect me at all. She's constantly ignoring me while having long talks with my boyfriend. She doesn't leave my boyfriend alone. She flirts with him and constantly tries to touch him
Starting point is 00:02:05 by using cheap tricks. When we watch movies, she pushes me away and tries to snuggle with my boyfriend. She slaps his butt when he walks by and loudly tells him how he has a perky little butt. She also runs her fingers through his hair every day saying, whoa, your hair is so soft. Or some garbage like that. What the F? These are all just excuses to touch him. She just needs a chance. Another thing she does is ask him if he has apps
Starting point is 00:02:35 so she can touch his torso. Or say, Did you see this thing I lost? Maybe it's in your pocket. Lemmy see. And proceeded to pat his thighs. One time she wanted help with hooking her bra and she just effing walks out in her underwear. She came to our room and my boyfriend was in the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:02:55 The logical thing to do was just effing ask me, I'm her sister, but what does she do? She just waits for my boyfriend and asks him instead even though I'm sitting right there. I think I looked very upset because my boyfriend just told her no and she went back to a room. She didn't try that again. That's not even all. My boyfriend and I can't even talk to each other without her interrupting us. She barges into a room with no warning. A few days ago we were trying to passionately hug and I don't
Starting point is 00:03:25 know how the F she realized it and started banging on the door claiming to have a headache. I opened the door to ask her what was wrong. I told her I had pills for it, but she just said she doesn't trust me and she wanted to talk to my boyfriend instead. After disturbing us, she was suddenly completely fine and her headache disappeared miraculously. She just came into her bedroom and started talking to my boyfriend. We were literally half naked and there was no way she didn't know. This is driving me crazy. What does she want?
Starting point is 00:03:54 Why is she like this? It's not like I didn't talk to her. I was so angry she interrupted us because she's been doing this since she came here. I was feeling horny and angry. I just told her to get out and that when he did some time alone, I don't want to go into details, but we had a small argument and she started crying. The thing is, she never accepts it, she's completely blind to what she's doing. She denies doing it and sheds tears which ends up making me feel bad instead. My boyfriend is so uncomfortable by all of this.
Starting point is 00:04:26 He just looks exhausted all the time. He's trying his best to be nice, but she's all over him all the time. He's usually very introverted, shy, and quiet. He's not very confrontational, and I know this is bothering him. When I talk to him about it, he just commented that it was a bad idea to invite her to stay here. He also said not to invite her ever again. I want to know why she's like this. How could I make her see what she's doing? I'm done dealing with her. I don't want to see her ever again, but she's my parent's favorite child and no matter how hard I try, I can never escape her. Whenever I try to cut contacts
Starting point is 00:05:03 with her, my mom calls me and begs me to forgive her. My mom doesn't want to see her daughters fighting with each other, and she always says how she wants us to be together forever. But I can't do this! How am I supposed to deal with this? Can someone please tell me? My mom is always taking my sister's side and everything, and it's always me who has to be the understanding and smart and older. When I'm the younger one here, please tell me I'm not overreacting.
Starting point is 00:05:30 How do I make my mom and sister realize that I'm sick of dealing with this? Listen, all right. I got a little bit frustrated reading this because you are missing what's going on here. You're asking how can you make your sister realize what she's doing? She knows exactly what she's doing. Opie, I want to grab you by your shoulders and shake you. Your sister knows what she's doing. She's doing it intentionally and she's doing it just to piss you off. I don't know if it's because she's jealous that you're happy in relationship and she's not, or if she's just a bad person and she's bored and the way she entertains herself is by tormenting you. But in any event, she is intentionally and systematically trying to destroy your life
Starting point is 00:06:14 and you have to stop it. And this BS about your mom always calling you and telling you to forgive her? No! It's not your responsibility to forgive your sister's terrible behavior. It's your sister's responsibility to correct that behavior. What you need to do is kick your sister out of your house and set clear boundaries. Otherwise, your sister's not going to stop anytime soon. Our next reddit post is from Throwaway Love My Gay Son. My boy is 20 years old.
Starting point is 00:06:43 He's absolutely my pride and joy, and there's nothing he could do that would ever make me love him less. For the first half of his life, I regrettably wasn't involved very much. His mother and I parted ways when he was just a few months old, and at the time, I was struggling with a heroin addiction and was absolutely not as present in his life as I should have been. Nor was I suited to fatherhood at all. I saw him, at most, two to three times a year for the first 12 years of his life. I won't discuss details because that's his private story to tell, but when he was 12, he revealed to me that he was being badly mistreated at the hands of his mother and her
Starting point is 00:07:19 boyfriend. Despite not being the best father at the time, I didn't want my boy suffering anymore, so I got myself cleaned up and sorted out in order to get full custody of him. I've effectively been a single and sober father ever since, and he has little snow contact with his mother. He's everything a man could want his son to be, he's uniquely kind and fiercely loyal, he's unflinchingly brave, he's incredibly generous, and despite the horrors he suffered as a child, he's unfailingly positive and sunny to the last. Somehow I of all people was bestowed with the honor of watching him grow from a sweet young boy to the greatest man I've ever known.
Starting point is 00:07:58 I cannot stress enough my pride in him. When he was 18, he got accepted into a top-ranking university in the other side of the country. I was sad to see him go, but simultaneously overjoyed that he got into his first choice and was starting a new chapter in his life. He comes home once every other month, and on the months he doesn't come home, I go visit him. He's doing well in university, has made lots of friends and seems incredibly happy there, which I'm obviously chuffed about. Since his second year, he's lived with his friend in a flat-off campus. I've strongly suspected since his early teens that my son is gay, and I now more or less have confirmation that this is true, and that his friend is actually his boyfriend. So for this COVID-19 quarantine, my son decided he'd rather
Starting point is 00:08:42 come home and quarantine up mine than stay at his university flat. His friend, however, would be left alone if my son came back as he's a Canadian and his family are back over there. And I gather he doesn't have the best relationship with him anyway. He asked if I would be okay if his friend tagged along to my house and I said of course, no problem. Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, asglinton Cross-town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals, be careful
Starting point is 00:09:16 along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware and stay safe. supplies and fly for details. They've been back at mine for about six weeks now. They think they're being subtle, I know, but I've caught them doing a couple of things on several occasions now. The friend has slipped up a couple of times and called my son Babe and Sweetie in front of me, which I pretend not to notice for the sake of saving embarrassment. There have been nights where we'll be watching a film with the lights off, and thinking I can't see, my son will have his arm around their friend. One day, I walked into the lounge, and I I can't see, my son will have his arm around their friend. One day I walked into the lounge and I'm positive they'd just been kissing and were trying to cover it.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Though I admit I had no confirmation on that one. The most solid evidence however came a few mornings ago. I get up very early to go for runs in the morning. As far as I was told, my son was sleeping in his childhood room and his friend was in the guest room. I don't know what possessed me to do so, but on Tuesday morning I cracked my son's door open to check on him like I used to when he was a kid. Low and behold, they're both asleep, snuggled up together and my son's bed.
Starting point is 00:10:36 That's more or less solidified for me that they're together. I didn't say anything, just shut the door and went for my run, and I haven't mentioned it to them yet. What I want is advice on this. How do I let my son and his boyfriend know that I'm okay with them being a couple and they don't have to feel like they have to sneak around in my house. I want them to be comfortable here and I want them to know I support them both no matter what. Or is that not a good idea? Am I better off leaving it alone and waiting until they tell me themselves if they ever do?
Starting point is 00:11:05 I obviously don't want to force either of them out of the closet, but at the same time, I hate feeling as if they feel like they're being forced into the closet in my house. What's my best course of action here? So, OP, first off, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. The amount of care and love that shines through in your post makes it clear that you will not buckle this. But that being said, I'm a really big fan of Mama Bear Jam's response down in the comments. My mom sent me a text that said, You never have to admit anything to me that you're not comfortable with. But if Jasmine
Starting point is 00:11:38 was ever more than a friend, I'd want to make sure she knows she was loved here too. I think that's a great approach. And sending it as a text gets your son a chance to digest the information on his own and figure out how he wants to move forward. It's open, accepting, and low pressure. Honestly, I think it's the perfect way to handle it. Our next reddit posted some throwaway. I'm a 25-year-old female and my roommate is a 34-year-old male. I moved to a new town last year, only a new one person stayed with her for a bit until
Starting point is 00:12:05 I found a house to rent, but I needed a roommate. She introduced me to a guy she worked with who also needed a roommate because he just got a divorce. I met him first, didn't get weird vibes, seemed nice enough. About 6 months ago, he made the suggestion to be friends with benefits, and I made this stupid mistake of agreeing. We both didn't want a relationship. Everything was fine until he
Starting point is 00:12:25 started getting weird and staying up until I got home, questioning me about where I'd been and who I was around. I then ended the hooking up, told him I didn't think it was like that and he got mad. Everything was fine for a bit, until yesterday. I live in a pretty rural area where most businesses are small and family-owned. Since not a lot of people are getting out, I decided to go ahead and get some new tires and support a mechanic shop I go to. Since I doubt they're getting regular business at the moment, I'm there waiting when the guy comes over and tells me he wants to show me something.
Starting point is 00:12:58 I'm like, okay, we go over to my car and he bends down and points under at a black box. He asked me if I know what that is and he tells me it's a GPS. It took me a second to understand the implications of a GPS being under my car. I was like, so someone put it there? It's clear I have no idea why it's there and he actually got concerned and told me if I didn't know I needed to find out. I feel so creeped out because I have no friends here. The friend I knew moved away. I only know some people at work, but we're not friends and it's been hard to meet people.
Starting point is 00:13:35 There's no other way a GPS would be in my car unless my roommate put it there. Now I'm freaked out in a way I've never been before and I can't move out. I'm scared to ask him about it. I have no one to stay with, no family here. What do I do? Do I just ask him about it at right? I left the GPS there because I don't want him to know I know at the moment. What do I do? OP, if he's got a GPS on your car, then I wouldn't be surprised if he's got a hidden camera somewhere in the house. Especially your bedroom or bathroom.
Starting point is 00:14:09 You need to do a CIA-style sweep of every room of your house. Start planning your exit immediately and document everything. And no, I would not confront him about this. Definitely not until you're out of the house, and then I would go to the cops first. Our next Reddit post is from Deleted. My friend and I have a YouTube channel together. People think I'm the ugly one. We're both over 18. Our channel has just under 10,000 subs. I'm calling my friend Sarah, which isn't a real name. I'm being purposely big. I always knew that I wasn't the pretty one. We've been, for instance, we were really young,
Starting point is 00:14:45 and I've seen her go from awkward kid to really, really pretty. In school, people always asked her out, and they do extra stuff for her that she never seemed to notice. I used to be jealous, but we've talked about how I felt back then, and I have a boyfriend who makes me feel beautiful now, etc. And I thought I was over it. Recently, since we gained more subscribers, people have been making comments about how sad it must be to be the ugly one. Some of them say my name, but most of them talk about my features that make it obvious that they're talking about me.
Starting point is 00:15:15 I've even had some people privately messaging me to suggest plastic surgery. It's hurting my relationship with Sarah. I know she's prettier than me, but until this, it wasn't really a problem anymore. Being compared to her constantly is hurtful. She suggested that we make both of our Instagram's private and make a joint public one so that we can better control the new hatred towards me. I'm worried that'll just bring up questions.
Starting point is 00:15:38 I don't have to explain that I'm so hurt by people saying this stuff and it's damaging my friendship so much that we've had to be private. She even suggested that if it gets too bad, we should phase out the channel because it isn't worth becoming bitter towards each other because of YouTube. I just want to know how to feel better about being friends with her. Sarah has never made me feel ugly.
Starting point is 00:16:00 It's always been other people. She's the kindest person I know and it makes me even more annoyed because I know she doesn't have any control over this more than I do. OP, I'm actually in a unique position where I think I can give you some useful advice on this. I've got a YouTube channel with 1.5 million subscribers and before this I had two other YouTube channels that each had something like 300 to 500,000 subscribers. Believe me when I say that I completely understand what you're talking about when you say that these negative comments start to get to you. I've had thousands and thousands of critical comments written about me over all of my videos.
Starting point is 00:16:38 And I don't know if this is helpful, but to me, they eventually just kind of stop affecting you. I know this advice is kind of lame because it's really passive and I'm just saying tough it out now and eventually will stop bothering you, but in my experience that tends to be the case with most influencers. I've talked to lots of other YouTubers before and it tends to be the case that when YouTubers start out they get really bummed out by all the criticism. But as your channel grows and as you improve two things happen, the first thing that happens is that you get so used to reading so many
Starting point is 00:17:10 comments, both positive and negative, that they start to have less and less of an impact on you. One strategy I use is to just focus on the positive comments. I mean, there's always going to be hate messages, so instead just focus on the compliments instead. The second thing that happens is that as you get bigger and bigger and your audience becomes more and more of a fan of you, then you'll get defenders. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but it tends to be the case that the bigger YouTuber is, the more positive their comments are. I get it, you're on a really rough spot now where people are pretty negative, but I can
Starting point is 00:17:42 guarantee you that if you tough it out and grow your channel, then your comments will become more positive. And eventually, all those hateful comments will just become background noise. That was our Slash Relationship Advice, and if you liked this video, then please let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel grow.

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