rSlash - r/Relationships I Found Out I'm a Mistress

Episode Date: February 7, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 Mistress 2:20 Cheater 5:23 Dating history 8:38 Be a man 11:02 Financial abuse Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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please go to conicsontera.ca. Welcome to R-slash relationship. where O.P. finds out that she's the other woman. Our next credit post is from OK Singer. I just found out that I'm a mistress of four years. Oh my God, how do I tell her? So I've been in a relationship with this man for four years. I'm a 36-year-old woman, and he's 48.

Me, my friends and family, use him as the standard when speaking about good men on a regular basis. We met each other's friends and family. We traveled together. And yesterday, I found an answer. anniversary card to his wife. I'll love you until the end of time. Signed your husband. Oh my God! I've been snooping since then to figure out who the hell I've wrapped my life around for the last four years. And I don't understand the concept of a long-distance marriage, but that seems to be the case.

There's so much, and I'm unsure how to process it to proceed. His wife is listed as the owner of his business and potentially I'm connecting dots or making assumptions based on a number of things I've found, leaving her job where she had so much success and is so love. I'm so uncomfortable with the idea of initiating communication with her, but she deserves to know because she could be burning her life to the ground for a man who didn't just cheat in a physical sense, but carried on an entire relationship. She deserves so much better, but I'm nervous that she'll feel anger towards me. I know I have to do it anyways, and if she's mad, she's mad. I don't know how I'd react.

Getting your heartbroken is so sad. I just know I won't be able to stop thinking about if she's okay if I don't tell her, so I guess I'm just hoping for advice on the approach. It'll hurt no matter what, but I'd like to do this with as much compassion as possible. I feel like a piece of trash. I'd never date a married man knowingly. I genuinely thought that I knew him and could trust him. I thought that I was done with all the BS and he's married.

He actually got married after we met, but this post is long enough. Well, as for the advice section of the post, I would just say, rip off the Band-Aid OP. And then just cut this guy loose because he is a master manipulator. I don't know how he managed to introduce you to his family without anyone getting suspicious. Our next Reddit post is from Dull Albatross. I'm a 27-year-old guy, and I just found out that my 26-year-old wife went home, with another man from the bar Saturday. We have two kids, ages two and three. She doesn't know that I know. Is there any way we can come back from this? So my wife of seven years had an affair Saturday night.

She said that she was going to the bar with her dad and wound up sleeping with an ex-boyfriend from 2018. I was home with our two young daughters, oblivious to what had happened, until one of her friends confronted me today and broke the news. The best part of it all is that I found out about it, while on the way to meet my wife for the very rare child-free dinner. And because I was afraid of making a mistake out of emotion, I had to sit across from her with this new knowledge in my stomach. While she talked about our plans to start trying for baby number three, the interuterine device comes out tomorrow. How she's enjoyed staying home raising our kids and how much she's appreciated everything I do to allow her to stay home and focus on being a mother to our little girls. I wanted to vomit. I've tried my best to not let

that I know, but she was extremely lovey-dovey tonight, and she's usually very disconnected with me and the kids when she's at home. Her friend made it clear that my wife is adamant that she's taking the secret to the grave, that it was unprotected, and that she's continued talking to him this week. The friend also said she's fairly confident it was a one-off mistake, but that she doesn't seem to understand the gravity of what she's done to our family. I'm heartbroken for my children, who will forever have their lives altered because of their mother's. decision. It's burning a hole inside of me. I'm laying on the couch at 2 a.m. shaking, still unable to process it, and terrified of what the next few days will bring. I guess I'm halfway

venting, but also looking for advice. When I found out a handful of hours ago and realized there was no room for this to be a misunderstanding, I immediately thought divorce was the only path forward. I can't imagine I'll ever trust her again. On the other hand, I love her. I feel bad for her in all of this somehow because she comes from a family where things like this happened. Her mom abandoned her when she was a kid and she had no reliable family. I can't see how she could possibly land on her own feed. And I don't want my babies to be put in bad circumstances because of her lack of options. The family she does have is where I'd assume she'd go, but they're all drunks and drug abusers.

How do I move forward from here? I'll survive whatever path I take. But what's the best path forward for my relationship with my little girls? I'm lost. People are asking O.P. about the source of information and O.P. says, it's a mutual friend from church. She called me after two days of trying to convince my wife to tell me the truth. Allegedly, my wife called her the next morning, sobbing about it. Opie, unfortunately, I think there's just no way coming back from this. She's a cheater and a liar. So just get a divorce and suffer the consequences that come with that. Because the consequences of living with a cheater are going to be way. way worse. I'm a 27-year-old guy, and I'm considering breaking up with my girlfriend, who's 27, because she dated a hardcore racist for four years. I've been dating a great girl for the past seven months. So far, we've had a great relationship. We match on a lot of key desires and life goals. After a long time being single, I was really excited to finally be in a relationship with someone

I could see myself being married to. A key point is that I'm black and she's white. So far, been any sort of a big deal. In fact, it's never come up once between us. Another key point is that I absolutely 100% do not mess around with racists at all. I grew up as the only black kid in a very racist town. It was tough, and because of that, I do not interact with anyone who's even vaguely racist. I knew she had some trauma in her last relationship. She didn't get into it much, just said that he was a bad guy who messed with her a lot. I made sure to do a lot of research and talk with my therapist about how to help her feel comfortable in a healthy relationship, because I know it can be tough. Fast forward to last week, we were talking about our past

relationships, and she ended up telling me his first name. Of course, curiosity got the best of me, and I ended up hunting him down on social media. She's from a very small rural town, so it was easy. Literally, his entire page was filled with racist stuff. He's covered in, the symbol of a German political party around World War II, and other racist tattoos in all of his pictures, posing with hate punk bands, and just absolutely insane stuff about pretty much every race. What hurt the most was seeing my girlfriend in a ton of his pictures,

especially at hate punk concerts. I pretty much immediately told her I looked him up and saw his page. She started crying, saying that she was in a bad place mentally when she dated him, that at the same time, she didn't realize how, terrible he was until it was too late. She said that she wasn't racist or held any of those beliefs, but she did use slurs just to fit in with him and his friends. She explained that she lost all of her family and friends by dating him, that he essentially destroyed her life. I told her that she needed to leave and that I really needed time to think about our relationship. Since then, she's been

texting me about how sorry she is and how much she's changed since dating him. But I really have a hard time believing anyone who could even speak to someone like that, let alone date them. Mentally, I gave myself until tomorrow to make a decision. I really want to stick to my principles, but sadly, I'm having a tough time because I really do like her. What would you do in my situation? She's a great girl, but I think it would take a lot for me to get over the people she's associated with. You know, here's the thing, O.P., even if in her heart of hearts she didn't believe all that racist stuff, What's the difference between a genuine bona fide racist and a not racist who uses slurs and goes to punk punk hate concerts and, you know, talks about racist stuff? I think the actions matter more than the

belief system behind them, because she still did racist stuff and said racist things. So doesn't that effectively just make her a racist? Our next credit post is from honest reception. I'm a 31 year old guy and my partner is a 28-year-old woman. We'd been dating for a year and a half, and everything was good between us until a few months ago. Both my mother and my close aunt passed away within three days of each other. I was devastated and expressed that to my girlfriend. Her response was not what I was expecting.

She told me that I'm a man, and if I want to be upset, I should express my sadness to my friends. She also said that, if anything, I should be consoling her as a man because she lost her. her future mother-in-law. Since then, I've looked at her differently and have distanced myself. Yesterday we met up and I explained how hurt I was and that I don't want to continue the relationship. She cried, begged, and apologized. She explained that she was upset because she felt ignored around the time of their passing and that she only made one mistake and I'm throwing away a

good relationship because of it. A part of me wants to forgive her, but another part feels she showed her true colors and that this wasn't. just a mistake, but a fundamental failure of support and empathy when I needed it at most. Opie, imagine you say this to literally anyone else. You go to work and you tell your coworker, hey, I'm a little sad today because my mom and my aunt, whom I'm also really close with, both died within three days of each other. And your coworker is like, man up, bro, you're a dude, aren't you? You got a sack between those legs? Toughen up, loser. You'd think that guy was a butthole because he would be a butthole. Now replace this with your girlfriend, the woman you're thinking

has been in the rest of your life with? Why? Why would you want to be around that? Let me tell you, when it comes to relationships, don't base relationships on the good days because it's easy to be happy when everyone's happy and everything's good. It's when things get rough that your partner's personality really matters the most, because things will get rough eventually. I mean, if you're going to live the rest of your life together, then theoretically, one of you was going to watch the other one of you die, right? So you really need to take those hard, tough days into consideration when you decide if you want to be with someone. Yeah, how is this a post? Dude, your mom died. That is one of the core sad moments in most people's life. And she's like, suck it up, dude. You think,

you think you have it bad. What about me? Oh my God. Our next Reddit post is from deleted. I'm a 28-year-old woman and my husband is 29. Yesterday, my husband and I had an argument during which he said something that completely shattered me. He told me that it's his house, that I live there at his mercy, and that I have no right to tell him what to do, all because I asked him to put his clothes in the laundry basket. Hearing that felt like a punch to the gut, especially after everything I've sacrificed to be with him. I gave up my career, left my family and friends, and moved to a foreign country I knew nothing about, and now I'm here without any real support system. He earns a very high salary, and although I also work remotely, I make much less and can't contribute financially

in the same way. Since the argument, I've been extremely stressed, so much so that I've been physically sick and throwing up. For the first time, I truly regret the choices I made. He's been apologizing repeatedly, especially after seeing how badly this has affected me, and says he was overwhelmed at work and unfairly took it out on me. But I'm struggling to trust him or move past what he said. Before we got married, I was hesitant because it felt like such a huge risk, and he begged me to take that leap with him. Now I'm scared that what he said during that argument reflects what he really believes deep down. If that's truly how he sees me, I know I'll leave, but the thought of returning to my home country and rebuilding my life from scratch is terrifying. I honestly don't know what to do.

O.P., if I were in your shoes, I would start saving my money and looking for an exit plan because this guy is showing signs of financial abuse. That was R-slash Relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.