rSlash - r/Relationships My Boyfriend Attacked Me with a Bat

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Baseball bat 4:02 Take out 11:20 Comment 12:24 Cuddle time Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is sponsored by Stitch Fix. I'm a straight dude and I'm very stereotypical in the sense that I do not like shopping. I hate to shop for clothes all the time, but the process can be so tedious. Lines, going to different stores, picking out clothes, but I don't know what I want. That's why I'm personally a big fan of Stitch Fix. With Stitch Fix, you simply have to go through a one-time quiz to give your size, style, and budget preferences. From there, a professional stylist who actually has a sense of taste in fashion, unlike me, will pick just for me pieces and send them to me and also send outfit recommendations and styling tips. I keep what I want and send back the rest. Easy peasy.

It's kind of like having your own personal stylist, except even better because I don't have to go see and talk to my own personal stylist. It's all online. Stitchfix is the best way to shop for clothes for people like me who don't like to shop for clothes. Make style easy. Get started today at Stitchfix.com slash r slash. That's Stitchfix.com slash r slash.

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants his last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Welcome to r slash relationships where OP's boyfriend threatens her with a baseball bat. Our next reddit post is from Teeyock Whale Attack.

I'm a 26 year old woman who's Korean and I've been been with my fiance who's 29 who's also Korean for 3 years. We've had our ups and downs, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened last night. Now I'm questioning everything, and I really need an unbiased perspective. As a bit of background, my fiance is usually calm, and not the type to explode or have sudden outbursts. However, he does have a temper when pushed too far and he grew up in a very strict household where displays of anger weren't uncommon. But despite this, he's never been violent towards me. We moved in together last year and while we've had our share of fights, we've always worked through them.

Last night, we were arguing about something that started relatively small. I'll admit that I was being persistent. I was upset because I found messages on his phone that while not outright cheating, they were inappropriate. He had been texting a female co-worker, and while he insisted it was friendly, some of the messages felt too flirty for my comfort. This included him complimenting her dress, saying it really suited her figure and that she always had a great sense of style. There was also a message where he commented on how nice she looked on certain days and that he could be in trouble if she keeps this up. I'm sorry, but what is that supposed to mean? It wasn't outright cheating, but it felt like a boundary had been crossed. He doesn't even say those things to me, not phrased that way at least.

I confronted him and he immediately became defensive. The argument escalated quickly. He accused me of being controlling and insecure while I accused him of being dismissive and emotionally unfaithful. At some point, I got up and grabbed his phone saying I wanted to see more of their conversations from before. Then he lost it. He snatched the phone back and in a split second, he turned to the corner of the room where his baseball bat was leaning against the wall. He then grabbed it and raised it at me. For a moment, I think I lost the ability to breathe. He looked very clearly upset and angry. He just gripped on the bat and I wasn't sure if he intended to hit me, hit the wall, or just scare me.

But that genuinely sent chills down my spine. I stepped back and told him, are you serious right now? He didn't say anything and he just dropped the bat onto the couch and turned away muttering a cursing Korean that basically says says F-ing B-word. I grabbed my purse and walked out without another word. I drove to my best friend's place and told her everything. She was horrified and told me I should consider calling off the engagement because you never know what happens in the future.

But this morning, he called me repeatedly and sent me texts apologizing, saying he lost control and that he would never actually hurt me. He said that he only picked up the bat out of frustration and that he just needed something to hold onto to release his anger. He swore that he wasn't going to use it on me, and he begged me to come home so that we could talk things out. I haven't responded yet because I genuinely don't know what to do. I love him, but I also can't ignore what happened last night.

My friend says that I would be stupid to go back, but I wonder if this was just a one-time mistake that he had done because of his outburst. I've never seen him this serious before, and it's not like we haven't been through each of our texts or phones. It's only recently that he's been acting less open, if that makes sense. Honestly, I'm not even thinking about the texts or phones. It's only recently that he's been acting less open if that makes sense. Honestly, I'm not even thinking about the text right now. I'm thinking about the fact that he raised the bat at me. It hurts the more I think about it. I don't know what to do. Then Opie posts an update which basically says she decided not to go back with her fiance,

which is a relief. Ultimately, every single sentence in this post isn't super all that relevant, except for the one where you say that he raised a baseball bat at you. That's literally all we need to know. No amount of context can excuse that behavior. Our next Reddit post is from LizardQueen. I'm a 32 year old woman and my partner is a 28 year old man. We had a baby 9 months ago and since then I've been a stay at home parent. We both agreed on this.

Neither of us wanted to put our baby in daycare if we could avoid it. While I was pregnant, I ran the numbers and calculated that we could comfortably live on his income alone. His wage fluctuates, so I based my calculations on his base wage. We'd have to cut back on some discretionary spending, but we'd still be able to cover our mortgage, bills, groceries, and other necessities, with a little leftover for saving and personal spending. Before our baby arrived, we each had separate bank accounts as well as a joint account. Our wages went into our personal accounts, and we would transfer a set amount into the joint account for mortgage payments, bills, and shared expenses.

After I became a stay-at-home parent and stopped receiving an income, my partner's salary continued to go into his personal account, and he was transferring 800 bucks a week into our joint account. After the mortgage came out, I was left with just under $300 to cover groceries, bills, utilities, and other necessities. It wasn't enough. The formula for the week is 80 bucks a loan as a reference. So I've been stretching our budget as far as it could go.

I've deferred bills. I've avoided leaving the house to save on fuel, which meant skipping playgroups for our daughter. I buy nothing for myself except the occasional small treat during grocery shopping like a chocolate milk. I walk around the house all day in my underwear to avoid turning on the air conditioning, trying to lower our electricity costs. We live in an extremely hot and humid area.

I eat fruit and instant noodles during the day to cut down on grocery expenses. About six weeks ago, I asked my partner to have his salary deposited directly into our joint account. I couldn't understand why we were struggling so much. I thought maybe I had miscalculated when I was pregnant. I needed transparency to manage our budget properly. He agreed, and once his wage started going into the joint account, I told him to set up an automatic transfer of $150 per week into his personal account for his own personal spending.

He never set up the transfer. Instead, I occasionally noticed money being moved from our joint account to his personal spending. He never set up the transfer. Instead, I occasionally noticed money being moved from our joint account to his personal account, but I wasn't tracking it closely because I trusted him. We had also agreed that if he didn't make or take a lunch to work and he instead bought takeaway, in those circumstances, it would be paid out of his personal spending money. With this system in place, I was at least able to start accruing money to pay the bills. But something was still off. I was the one doing all the grocery shopping and managing our household expenses, so I knew there should have been extra money left over. To help ease our financial strain,

I picked up a well-paying remote job. It's only a few hours of work each week, but it's adding around $150 to our finances, on top of my husband's income. Earlier this week, I had to cancel my psychiatrist appointment because we couldn't afford it. I was already feeling down about our finances, and when I told my husband I'd have to cancel it, he agreed it was for the best because money was tight. Today, I finally sat down and audited our joint account. In just one month, my husband transferred over $1000 into his personal account. I called him and asked for his account details to verify some transactions.

The records matched. He'd been moving the money himself. When I asked him if he had any savings in his account, he said no. That's when I told him about the audit and about the extra $1,000. I asked what he spent it on. His response? Not sure. I've only really spent money on food while at work. I asked him how is that possible? How could he have spent over $1,000 on takeaway food in just 30 days? And that's not even counting the several fast food transactions I noticed on our joint account which totaled around 130 bucks.

I'd let those slide because they didn't seem excessive at the time. But now, knowing he had taken an additional $1,000 and spent it on takeaway, I'm really cranky. This past couple of months, he's listened to me talk about how and where I've cut back, how our baby and I struggled through unbearable heat without AC, how I've sacrificed, stressed, and stretched every dollar. All the while, he's been recklessly spending on daily fast food. What really irks me is that, in the past, he made me feel guilty for minor purchases, like occasionally shopping at Kmart or Target for things that we need or could use.

I used to spend maybe $150 a month on baby clothes, toys, or small household items. If we were low on funds one week, he would point to those transactions I made as being the cause. For example, I'd love to buy a beach towel and a beach bag for our daughter's swimming lesson so that we're not using an old shower towel between us out of a Woolie's bag. This would cost about 50 bucks. But I've been holding off because of our financial struggles. When I bring up that I'd like to buy us something like that, but can't because of our finances,

he usually nods along, agreeing that we can't afford it right now and it's best that I continue to cut back on spending. Meanwhile, he's been spending an exorbitant amount on fast food. The audacity he has to make me feel like I was the problem is really getting under my skin. I've asked him to send me his bank statement so I can cross-check exactly where the money has gone. For the record, no, he's not cheating and he's not gambling.

He's just 6'6", eats a lot, and clearly hasn't been thinking about how his choices affect our family. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the money went towards his trading card game hobby, but I believe him when he says that it's mostly spent on food. A fast food breakfast, a fast food lunch, gas station snacks, a coffee, an energy drink, a bottle of water. Buying all this every work day adds up. I tried to help him meal prep before. I made him sandwiches, bought him fruit and snacks, but he would complain about the food or leave half of it uneaten. So, I stopped making

lunches for him. Instead, I prepped ingredients for sandwiches, shredded lettuce, grated cheese and carrot so he could quickly make them himself. But he never did and the ingredients would go to waste. Eventually, I told him that his lunches were his responsibility. That was months ago. He wakes up before me. I was under the impression that he'd been eating at breakfast and making a coffee at home and only occasionally buying takeaway for lunch. I was severely mistaken.

As you can imagine, I'm absolutely livid. I'm trying so hard to stay composed, but he's sulking and acting like a wounded puppy. An hour ago He told me he feels really sad and useless and that he's not good at anything I have no patience for this. The nerve he had to tell me that we couldn't afford my psychiatrist appointment The nerve he had to make me feel guilty for the occasional small purchase I'm struggling to even want to be around him right now, let alone feel sympathy for him. If you guys are curious on the math, 1000 over 30 days comes out to about $33 per day.

So with 33 bucks, you could have two full takeout meals or order a single hamburger from Uber Eats. What's also depressing is that down in the comments there are tons of similar stories of people basically breaking up over what I consider to be financial abuse here. Ghost writes, Take it from me who's leaving a partner over this. When I became overburdened with work because of how stressful my job became and I worked overtime, my partner maxed out all of our credits at over $20,000 because

when I was at work working overtime and couldn't cook anymore, he found it more convenient to order high-end restaurant meals for lunch and dinner, as well as Starbucks in the morning every morning. This went on every day for about two years. I've cried and raised concerns about the trajectory of him making us destitute. He didn't change his habits and justify that he needed to eat because he was a hardworking mechanic. Yeah, throwing away your money on expensive uber eats orders is bad enough. The real core problem here is just the complete and total lack of empathy. How one person can live in luxury,

live in the high life while your partner, the person you're married to, the person you're supposed to love is struggling. I say dump them. I don't know why anyone would want to live with a partner like that. Our next Reddit post is from Alcooldog. So before you read, I need to say that I have nothing against cuddling to sleep. I actually love it. The problem I have here is that my girlfriend

won't go to sleep or will cry unless we have a cuddle time before turning off the light. And honestly, I wouldn't even mind if it lasted like 5 minutes and that we would just drift off to sleep while cuddling. But no, she doesn't want it like that. She absolutely needs the lights to be on. Otherwise, she'll be upset. If I start to get sleepy, which I am because I want to sleep, she'll get upset. She absolutely wants to look me in the eyes, so cuddling to sleep is out of the question because I have to keep my eyes open too. She also needs sweet talk, which I like, but not when it's forced like that. She literally asks me to say cute things to her and not just, I love you more than anything.

She wants to hear what I think about her, how much my life is wonderful with her, etc. And honestly, I have no problem with that, but only when it's spontaneous, not when it's forced. And we say cute things to each other all day long, so it's not like I never say it. But the worst thing for me is that she will not want to turn off the light and cuddle to sleep until she's satisfied of our cuddles and my talks. And that can take some times. Sometimes 15 minutes, sometimes one hour.

I know it's normal to just chill and sweet talk with your significant other, but it's always a necessity for her to do it right when I tell her that I'm tired and that I want to sleep. If I say I'm just too tired or we've already cuddled enough and could we please turn off the lights? She'll just say, no, don't say that and we'll make her a sad puppy face so I have no say in it. Seriously, I think she's just being too clingy and childish. Is it unreasonable to just say, good night, I love you and then cuddle to sleep with the light off? I don't even know anymore if she asks too much or if I don't do enough.

I feel like I have no control over when I can actually drift off to sleep. She has to decide when or else she'll cry for several hours. Honestly, I wish I could just happily do all that so that both of us would go to sleep without a problem. But I can't. It's so forced for me. It's too much to comply when I'm tired. Could I have some insight? What do you think? Am I being unreasonable? And OP clarifies they're both 22 and they've been together for 3 years. It sounds like this woman is insecure to the point that it's pathological. She needs therapy and you need a new girlfriend.

That was r slash relationships and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.