rSlash - r/Relationships My Boyfriend Deleted My Dead Brother

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 Personal space 8:55 Trap 10:22 Sandwich 15:42 Comment 16:06 Grieving Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash relationships, where a vibrator destroys a marriage. Our next reddit post is from Haley Baby. Like six months ago, my husband came bursting into the bathroom to catch me using my vibrator in the shower. He threw a hissy fit about it and said that it was basically cheating, and guilted me into apologizing and promised not to do it again. The next time we went to use my vibrator, during intercourse as we basically always did, it had stopped working mysteriously in hindsight. I often used it in the shower, I guess just because that's basically the only time I get to myself.

I eventually just used the shower head instead, and one time he pounded on the door asking what I was doing. Again, I didn't really think much of it at the time. Tonight I was showering and not doing anything else, and when I came out he was being short and pissy with me. I asked if everything was okay and he says, So how was your shower? I said, fine. I was confused. He goes on to say that he knows what I was doing in there and I responded by asking what he was talking about.

To which he replied that every time I shower, he sits outside the bathroom door and listens to see if I'm playing with myself. I was so shocked that I didn't even know what to say. Then within the same month, OP posted an update. I called my dad and basically just explained that we were having some issues. And just to ease my mind, I wanted my dad to come down and be nearby when I talked to my husband. My dad didn't press for more info and he told me that he was on his way.

He and my mom live about 6 hours away, so it's not exactly a very ideal ask, but my dad didn't even hesitate, which I'm grateful for. He arrived Friday night and parked outside our condo, and we agreed that I would call my dad and immediately hang up if I needed him to come inside, you know, in case my husband got aggressive or angry. I didn't expect to need this, since my husband has never been like this before, but some of the comments in the last post made me feel like I'd better be safe than sorry. I debated with myself all day Friday about

how exactly to approach this situation and how I could trigger this conversation without him shutting down or getting angry. I decided to casually approach the conversation and ask him how he'd feel about me getting another vibrator. You know, to replace the one that mysteriously broke after he caught me using it in the shower. He asked, what for? To which I replied, because it feels good? I knew this would be his response, but he said something like, what, am I not good enough? I explained that this has nothing to do with him not being good enough, and that passionate hugging is supposed to be fun and experimental and interesting, and that it was just something

that would make it better for both of us. He then suggested that I just wanted to use it on myself, to which I asked if that would be a problem. He told me that I know how he feels about that, and so I asked him why he was so bothered by this. He got very defensive and asked why I would want that when I could have him. So I asked, haven't you ever just felt like doing the job yourself? He said no and that he's not a beta who spends his days stroking when he could be doing anything more productive. I explained to him that that's okay if that's what he wants, but sometimes my desires are different. That's when his same ridiculous argument came out that I was basically cheating.

Pulled from another redditor, I explained that cheating involves multiple people and that it's impossible to be cheating if I'm alone. He told me to F off and go stick the shower head between my legs. I started to get upset and I realized that this is when I always back down. I always feel the need to apologize and make him feel better. Usually, whenever we started something, it would end up with me pleasuring him because I felt bad, but this time I didn't. I told him that he made me feel like he was trying to control me and my body and that I wasn't okay with that. He told me that I could go be an effing whore somewhere else then and got up off the couch

and ran upstairs. I could hear him slamming my drawers open and acting like he was putting my clothes in a bag. Eventually, he came back downstairs and apologized and said that he's very uncomfortable with the idea of me pleasuring myself in our home. When I asked him to explain why he said because it makes him feel unwanted. I told him that's not true, that I do want him but sometimes I just want to do that activity and he said okay I guess. I decided to leave it at that for the night and I didn't want to press it any further. I told my dad that it was for the night, and I didn't want to press it any further. I told my dad that it was okay to go, and that I was so sorry for wasting his time,

and he told me that he'd be staying the weekend at a hotel just to be safe. Eventually, we went to bed, and I realized that if I left it at that, it would just get swept under the rug like it always does. I'd be putting up with this until it came full circle again, and I was not doing that to myself. I decided to ask him about him listening to me when I showered. He told me that he was just joking and, you're an effing moron if you actually thought that I was serious.

I told him that was an odd joke, especially considering he was angry and very much not laughing when he told me. He then responded by saying that he wouldn't do it again. This went in circles for a bit before he finally admitted to deciding to do this after catching me in the shower. Instead of accusing him, I asked him if he thought that this was an invasion of my privacy and he said, we're married, you don't have privacy. I told him this was an issue and that in order to have a healthy marriage, we both needed privacy. He was determined that there's no such thing as privacy in marriage,

so I flat out asked him if he wanted me in the bathroom while he was pooping. He said, no and I said, right, because you want your privacy. He told me, that's different. Over the course of the next 10 minutes, this escalated from a simple conversation into a full blown screaming match and we got absolutely nowhere in our arguments. He was like talking to a brick wall. Eventually he told me that I was an effing worthless whore and I had nothing without him, that my, jeez, that my girl parts were disgusting and made him sick, and that I was fat and no one would ever want me. I'm 125 pounds by the way. And I'm lucky that someone like him

would even look in my direction. I could barely see my phone through the tears, and I called my dad and asked him to come get me. My husband looked at me and said, You're effing dad isn't driving six hours to come get you, you dumb fu- I started to grab some random things of mine and I yelled that my dad was staying in town and my husband broke down and started sobbing. He told me that he knows that he's controlling, that he has serious issues, and that he's terrified of losing me. He said that he knows that he's not good enough for me and he's afraid of losing me so he's

pushing me away to save himself the inevitable heartache. He said that if he ever lost me, he would unalive himself. As I watched this grown man snotting and crying in a heap on the floor, I kinda realized that I feel nothing for him. Like nothing. The blinders I've been wearing were removed, and I no longer saw the handsome, intelligent, caring, strong man that I once did. I saw a pathetic, abusive, controlling, sad, sick person.

My dad knocked on the door, and my husband ran and hid in the bathroom. Hey, what was he doing in the bathroom you think? I took my bags and went outside to meet my dad. My dad asked what I needed from him, and I asked if we could just go back to his hotel room. He asked if my husband hit me, and I said no. Before we even got to the hotel, my husband began texting me. It started with pleading with me to stay and forgive him, which turned into insults over

the course of the next day or so. He never threatened me physically, but he told me that if I didn't come home I'd lose him forever, that I'd be losing out on the best man that I'd ever have, etc. He told me that his friends laughed at him for being with such an ugly B-word, that his parents hate me because they know that I'm not good enough for him. That I couldn't get pregnant because I'm probably an effing whore banging other guys on the side. That he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public and so much more.

I'm currently in a bed in a hotel room with my dad and I've never felt more loved or safe. My dad is going over to my house tomorrow to retrieve my belongings, after which he's helping me move into my friend's apartment and then heading home. So I guess you could say that OP's husband is killing the vibes. Our next reddit post is from Coldchip. I am an 18 year old girl and my boyfriend is 21. We're both in college going to the same school and we recently started dating.

We've only known each other for about 3 weeks. He has a pretty rough history of people cheating on him in relationships. The other day, he insisted on coming to my room and brought bed risers. I have a single dorm, I didn't want or need bed risers. Without my approval, he began lifting my bed while I was in the shower and it's now about 6 feet off the ground. Basically, the bed is really unstable now. I have no idea where he got these risers from, but they're probably from Teemu with how cheap and unsupportive they are. He told my neighbor that he did it so no guys can come over and screw on the bed.

I don't know about anybody else, but I think this is pretty unreasonable. I don't like having to keep a chair in the middle of my room so I can climb up onto my bed. And I'm not planning on cheating. What should I do? Talk to the RA? This top comment from Apprehensive Lake pretty much nails it. I'm a guy and I've been cheated on.

I've been betrayed yadda yadda yadda. This is psychopath activities. Like Looney Tunes stuff. A three week relationship and he's laying traps in your room so he won't cheat? That's pretty messed up. Leave him and do everything in your power to keep him away from you. That'd be my suggestion. Our next reddit post is from Samathist. I'm a 32 year old woman and I think that I have to break up with my 35 year old male fiance after he embarrassed me in public over a sandwich. My partner and I have been together for over 9 years and honestly, the first 4-5 years were awesome. I had genuinely never felt this way about anyone in my life, but things started going south

after that. I started to realize that he always had an excuse for not helping me cook or clean the house no matter how much I begged and pleaded for help. He started making me feel like going to see my family was inconveniencing him. He makes snide remarks the whole time and just makes the entire trip miserable to the point of me crying. I know it might sound dumb, but I've even started having panic attacks because of how bad he makes the holidays. He doesn't attempt to communicate in a healthy way, and it honestly feels like he

waits until the very last moment until he'll apologize, if he does. I've been on that last straw mark for a few years now, but I always end up forgiving him because I mean, I love him. It's kinda like the saying, when it's great, it's really great, but when it's bad, it's really bad. Anyways, a few days ago, he lost his mind in public over a sandwich. We had the same day off, so we decided to run some errands and go to a sandwich shop for lunch afterwards. Honestly, the first half of the day was great, until it was time for lunch. We walked in and the place was packed, and unfortunately, there was only one person working,

so we had to wait in line for about 20 minutes. Is it frustrating to wait in line that long? Yes. But I tried to make things as positive as I could because I know that he gets irritated easily. We kind of overheard the employee tell others in front of us that some of the ingredients were either out completely or just had gone bad. Also, for a little backstory, I had an ex that worked at this particular sandwich chain, and he got me onto this sandwich that I've been eating since I was like 18 or 19, and I introduced it to my current fiance.

Me and my fiance always get the same thing when we go there. So finally it's our turn and we get everything started. Bread, meat, cheese and throw it in the toaster. The worker brings out my sandwich and I tell her the next ingredient, lots of spinach. The employee looks at me and breaks the news that the spinach has gone bad. Bummer. But, you know, whatever. It's not the end of the world, right? My fiance standing next to me goes,

Are you effing serious? Dude, eff this garbage! She did this garbage on purpose! We're effing leaving! Come on! And then just storms out and leaves me standing in the shop while everyone in the entire place stops and is either watching the situation or is looking uncomfortable. Just think of how you feel when you see a Karen in the wild.

But the Karen was my partner. Also, I have extreme social anxiety as well and he is absolutely aware of the severity of it. So I'm standing there and quietly tell the employee that he's upset. And I think we might just head out and she hits me with, Nah, if you leave, I'm calling the cops. My anxiety gets even worse. The cops?

What the hell? I look at my phone and my partner texted me, If you get that food, we're done. So now cops AND I'm being broken up with? I texted him that he left me in a bad situation and he knows how bad my anxiety is. And then the employee hits me with, I can't believe that you would come in here, know that we're low on ingredients,

and then waste what little that we have. I mean, she's right though. I was seriously just going to get lettuce instead of spinach, but now that I'm standing here being threatened by everyone for something that I didn't even do, I get another text from my partner. F it, find someone else to come and get you. Great, now I'm stranded here. I finish building the sandwiches, pay, and tried to hide behind my bag of food hoping

that he's still there, and thankfully he is. Unfortunately, he decided to take out his anger on me and for like 15 minutes straight. The whole ride home this man blamed me, told me that I'm not a team player, and that I chose my side while screaming at me at the top of his lungs. I was bawling! I haven't spoken to him in like three days. He sent me a text about how sorry he was, but I'm feeling fed up with all of it. I also have a family event tomorrow that I guess I can't make because he has our only

vehicle, so I'm going to have to disappoint my family once again. I don't know, I'm just stressed out and I'm not sure what to do anymore. Man, this was just a sucky situation from both sides because obviously the boyfriend is a huge red flag. But also, what was that worker's threat? You have to buy the sandwich or I'm calling the cops? Yeah, right. It's not like you entered into some kind of contract to buy a sandwich. Sorry, I know the post is about the boyfriend, it's just the boyfriend is like very obviously a douchebag here so I feel like he doesn't need a lot of commentary. I'm just also annoyed that OP effectively got strong armed into doing something she

doesn't want to do by a snarky employee. Down in the comments we have this story from complete entry. I once had a very nice sandwich artist make me a massive sandwich. I was super happy. His manager walks up and made him throw my sandwich in the garbage. She said to follow their portion chart. So during the remake, I waited until the sandwich was done. The manager smirked at me and then I said, cancel my order and left.

Our next Reddit post is from Throrain. Six years ago, my twin brother Sam died in a horrible accident on the freeway. It was one of the biggest accidents in our state. My only comfort is that he died immediately. The police said that he most likely had no idea that anything was happening around him. Anyway, before he died, Sam was a huge social media user, mostly on Instagram and Snapchat. I never followed him on Snapchat, but I did follow him on Instagram. He made thousands of posts about his life,

friends, family, music, and he was an amazing singer. After he died, I would go to his account and just scan through his account. I mostly watched a few videos he made where he does dialogue for English as a second language speakers. He taught English to ESL students for extra money. I'd often pretend that he was speaking to me. I know it's not healthy to listen to my dead brother's voice every day, but it just became a habit.

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend had been urging me to break free from this habit. He told me that I need to move on, and I did start to try. I would only watch one video instead of several, or I wouldn't listen to him until right before I went to bed. Last night I went to check my brother's account, and I saw that it was gone. I was upset. I texted my sister, and she said that she could still see his account. My boyfriend told me that he blocked my brother on my account. I was annoyed,

but simply thought that I could just go back to following him. But my brother's account was private and our family couldn't access his account years ago. The reason why he blocked him is because he thought that I was in love with my brother and he even accused me of being intimate with my own brother. I wanted to vomit. He's my twin. We spent every single day together. Even when we grew up, we went to the same university. At the time of my brother's accident, we were roommates.

I loved my brother, but not in a sick way. My boyfriend never met my brother. He and I only started dating two years ago. But after this, I don't know if I can or should continue this relationship. My boyfriend keeps saying that I should move on and that what he did wasn't a big deal. But it was to me! Our mutual friends agree that I should just forgive and forget, but I feel like I'm grieving all over again. Then OP posted an update. I kicked him out.

I gave it a few days for me to calm down, but this was just a breach of trust. He still thinks that I'm overreacting. Also, I've cut ties with our mutual friends. They were mostly his friends. This incident made me realize that I need to spend more time with my family. I've been chatting more with my sister. After Sam's death, I was a bit cold towards her, but she's helped me a lot these past couple of days.

And thanks to some amazing people on here, we were able to get into Sam's account. I am now the owner of it. Aw, that's so sweet. Thank you all. And lastly, Sam, I miss you every single day. Whew, man, that update is a relief because this post was like a trainwreck. That was r slash relationships and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.