rSlash - r/Relationships My Boyfriend Is Turning Me Into An Anime H***** Girl

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

r/Relationships_Advice In today's story, OP is an Asian girl who's in a relationship with a white guy. OP's boyfriend starts buying anime cosplay outfits for OP to wear in the bedroom, and things just... keep escalating. The thing that bothers OP so much is that she isn't even Japanese -- she's Taiwanese, so she finds it disrespectful that he's constantly trying to make her look like Japanese characters. What should she do? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Black Friday continues a real Canadian superstar with deals on electronics, home and holiday staples, like lean ground beef at $368.00 and 10 pounds of farmer's market care at 399.00 until November 29th. See fly for details. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash relationship advice, where a guy tries to turn his Asian girlfriend into a hentai fantasy. I'm a 27 year old girl, and my 27 year old boyfriend asked me to act more coi-i in the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:00:32 I'm Asian, and he's white. I don't want to shame his kink, but I don't want to be fetishized. We've been together for a little over a year now, and it's been going well. We met at college through a club and hit it off and reconnected a couple of years later. He's always been really kind to me and gives me compliments all the time and we generally have fun together. We've been quarantining together and have been doing a lot of passionate hugging which I love, but it's been getting a little weirder I guess. He sends me a lot of anime with an age and says he wants to try things out that are depicted in which is fine. But he's also been buying me outfits which I do appreciate and they're very much like anime themed, Japanese schoolgirl,
Starting point is 00:01:10 catgirl costume, etc. I know he's being more open with me but it all feels kind of gross. Like, does he want me to do all these things because I'm Asian? Anyway, the other night he asked me to act cuter in the bedroom and to speak Japanese to him in bed. I was really offended by this because while I am Asian, I am not Japanese. I am Taiwanese and I was born and raised here in America. I firmly told him no, and then I went on alright, but he was a little bit quiet afterwards like I had scolded him. I don't think he means anything weird by it, but I want to tell him that I am not okay with the things he's been doing, but also I don't want to shame him for being more sexually open with me. I just want to feel like he wants to be intimate with me, and not
Starting point is 00:01:52 Asian Girl Number 7 if that makes sense. I don't know how to explain this to him though. Oh P, I physically cringe when I got to the point where you said that you aren't Japanese. That is very disrespectful to someone who you're supposed to care about. That's not really you king shaming him. That shutting down this weird racist thing that he tried to do. So yeah OP, even though this is creepy and disrespectful, I don't think this necessarily goes into break up territory. I mean yeah, you definitely can break up with him if that's what you want to do because
Starting point is 00:02:22 that's completely your right. But based on this story, it doesn't sound like your boyfriend was acting out of malice, it just seems like his kink got a little bit out of hand. I think if you have an open discussion with your boyfriend about setting clear boundaries in the bedroom and regarding your racial identity, then you could probably move forward from this. But if he continues to act like an overly horny weeb, then it's time to dump that dude. Remember, mess with the waifu, get the naifu, get the knifeoo.
Starting point is 00:02:46 I'm a 35 year old woman and I'm expecting my first shout with my fiance and my ex-husband is losing his mind over it. My ex and I married fairly young. We were each other's only partner and just simply outgrow each other. We divorced in 2016 and one year later I started dating my current partner. The only reason my ex and I are still in contact is because of our dog. We had two dogs when we were married and during the initial separation he took one and I took the other. He said he couldn't take care of the dog and he gave her to his parents without asking me about it and then he said he regretted it and went to a rage about not being able
Starting point is 00:03:18 to see his other dog. It ended up going to court as part of the divorce proceedings and now I have to take my dog to see him one week into month. If you hadn't guessed by now, him being a man-child was part of the reason we got divorced. I've always wanted kids. He didn't, and he was way too immature and emotionally-sundered to have kids with anyways. My current partner also always wanted kids, but was widowed young and din-date again for almost 10 years after his wife died. He had been widowed for 15 years when we met. We started trying for a baby after getting engaged
Starting point is 00:03:50 in December and ended up getting pregnant pretty much right away and our baby is due in November. I intentionally didn't mention this to my ex. I used social media very rarely and we've chosen not to announce on social media until after the baby is born. On Saturday we met up for the scheduled dog visit which was the first time he'd seen me in a month. Because I'm fairly tall, it took a long time to actually look pregnant and now I do. When I saw him, he lost his mind. He went on this tirade about how this was evidence that I was cheating on him and how
Starting point is 00:04:19 I never really loved him at all because I let the first person who came along to knock me up. I was like, okay, wow, I am not engaging in this conversation. I'm only here to let you see the dog. Bye. So I left, and since then, Heshi's blocked phone numbers to harass and threaten me. I keep blocking them as they come up, but I'm stressed and don't know what to do about it.
Starting point is 00:04:41 We've generally had a cordial relationship before, but now I'm like, what the f? I should just say f this dude, and f this stupid cord order dog visitation I never speak to him again, right? O.P. you're partially correct here. You should absolutely not disobey a cord order, but outside of that, yeah you definitely should try to distance yourself from your ex-husband. Start recording every interaction you have with this guy. Eventually if you have enough evidence to follow a restraining order, you might be able to use that to get out of the dog visitation thing. I'm a 29 year old woman, and my husband helped cover up his friends of fair, and I can't
Starting point is 00:05:16 understand why I'm angry at him. For context, my husband and I have been together for seven years. He is the best friend Liam, who's married to Eleanor, and they've been together longer than us. I've been friends with Eleanor almost as long the best friend Liam who's married to Eleanor and they've been together longer than us. I've been friends with Eleanor almost as long as I've known my husband, I met her through my husband. A month ago Eleanor called me in tears to tell me she found out her husband was having
Starting point is 00:05:34 an affair. She confronted him and he swore he would end things and focus on their marriage. Two days ago Eleanor and Liam called my husband to ask him to confirm the Liam was going to spend the evening with him and my husband said that he was. I knew that he was lying because we had plans that evening so I confronted him about it. He got defensive and said that he was only helping his friend out and it wasn't a big deal because he only needed time alone and that Eleanor was too controlling. We got in an argument and eventually asked him if he knew that Liam was having an affair.
Starting point is 00:06:03 He denied it, but he's a bad liar so I knew that he was beessing. I asked my husband how long he'd been covering for Liam, but he refused to answer any of my questions. When I told him I was going to let Eleanor know that Liam was going to be with my husband, he got really upset and told me I shouldn't do that. We kept arguing over it and eventually I told him that we should cancel our plans and then he really could go hang out with Liam since helping him was so important to him. I ended up moving into the guest room and I haven't really spoken to my husband much since. He keeps telling me that he doesn't understand why I'm so angry since it's not like he was the one having the affair, but I really can't look at him the same way. How do I explain to him why I'm so upset with him? Am I overreacting?
Starting point is 00:06:44 OP, the word you're looking for is accomplice. Your husband is achieving accomplice. If your husband still struggles to understand where that's a bad thing, put him in Eleanor's shoes. Ask him how he would feel if you were cheating on him and Eleanor was covering for you. Would your husband respect Eleanor? Yeah, I doubt it. Enjoy the classic taste of the holidays at Tim's with the new non-alcoholic Bailey's flavored holiday menu, whether you're hanging holiday lights or driving up to your folks, you can enjoy your Tim's and Bailey's anytime, anywhere at participating restaurants in Canada.
Starting point is 00:07:19 The best adventures are the ones we share. So explore together with the 2023 Defender 130 featuring increased cargo capacity and room for eight adults. With unstoppable off-road capability, excellent on-road dynamics, 21st century connectivity and luxury interiors, you'll be capable of great things. The 2023 Defender 130 adventure, share widely. Contact your Land Rover authorized dealer for details. The 2023 Defender 130, Adventure, Share Widely. Contact your Land Rover Authorized dealer for details. I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I'm terrified that my 28-year-old husband has been having
Starting point is 00:07:53 intercourse with me while I'm asleep. Now, I'm pregnant. For some context, I have a serious medical condition that requires some pretty heavy medication. It does a lot of things, including destroying my libido, and knocking me out for long periods of time. My husband and I were married before I was diagnosed, and he supported me throughout my diagnosis and treatment. He's a wonderful man. We used to have a very active love life, and it's been a considerable strain on our marriage that I never feel in the mood. I feel like a terrible wife in this regard, and I'm just being able to do what we both enjoy. To be clear, when I take my medication, I am dead to the world.
Starting point is 00:08:29 You could blast a fire alarm next to me and I wouldn't wake up. You could pick me up and toss me around and I still might not wake up. Lately, I felt worse than normal, really sick, dizzy, uncomfortable, etc. I went to my doctor's care that I might be sick with COVID and it turns out that I am pregnant. Five weeks pregnant. But I haven't passionately hugged my husband in at least two months, maybe more. I did not cheat on him. I wasn't assaulted by anyone anywhere that I know of. This wasn't a macular conception. I told my husband and he was surprised. It's probably a one and a million chance that I got pregnant due to the medication I'm on in my condition. He was shocked, then excited, and I was just
Starting point is 00:09:09 so relieved that he didn't accuse me of cheating that I didn't stop to consider why he didn't. It's been a few days, and I've been thinking about when I first started taking my medication. It was hard for him to adjust to me not wanting to passionately hug, and he used to joke that I could just lay there and watch TV while we do it. Or, and this is what makes me scared. He used a joke that he could just use me while I was sleeping, and that way I don't have to deal with it and he can be satisfied. He's mentioned this a couple of times, but he always lets a drop when I say I'm not okay with it. I've started thinking about all the times I woke up in the morning and had this uncomfortable pelvic pressure that usually comes after I have intercourse.
Starting point is 00:09:46 My husband likes to be rough and I don't really mind, we were always pretty wild and bit or adventurous. Also, I've had bruises that I can't explain. I confronted my husband about this, about me being scared that he did this to me, and also why he wasn't surprised about the dates not matching up. He was angry that I would accuse him of something so horrible, and he insisted that I just miss remember the last time that we had intercourse. The medication does play with my memory sometimes, but I remember the last time we had intercourse. I remember every time we have intercourse now, because I don't enjoy it. I don't want a panic. I don't want to talk
Starting point is 00:10:19 myself into being convinced that he's been using me while I'm asleep, and I don't want to talk myself out of the possibility to just protect our marriage. But I'm terrified. This is the only possibility I can come up with, and if it's true, I don't know what to do. I've been heartbroken for a while over the idea that I wouldn't be able to have kids. Now I'm gonna have a baby, and I'm so, so happy. But what if this baby happened because of what my husband did?
Starting point is 00:10:44 That's a really awkward situation OP. I think I would recommend setting up a hidden camera because that's probably the only way to get real hard evidence about what's really happening while you're asleep. I'm a 20 year old guy and my 22 year old girlfriend who says that she's depressed cheated on me, but I don't have enough strength to confront her again. Last month, I got a feeling that something was wrong with my girlfriend so I decided to snoop through her phone because normally she writes her feelings in a notebook app. That's when I found messages between her and one of her friends, a male friend to be
Starting point is 00:11:14 exact. They were sexting about how much they wanted to passionately hug each other. I just checked out and cried in the bathroom for about an hour because I wasn't expecting all these messages. A week after that, I decided to break up with her without mentioning the messages and just told her that I didn't want to stay in the relationship. And immediately she started to cry and beg me to stay because I can't live without you. She said this last part because I'm basically the only person that really knows that she has depression and the only person that's always there to
Starting point is 00:11:41 help her calm down when she has urges of self harm or a bad panic attack. I broke down and told her that I was sorry and that I wouldn't try to break up with her again. And that was a month ago. Today, I got the feeling that the sexting is still continuing, but I just don't have enough strength to try to break up with her because I just can't do it. Just thinking about her crying is enough to make myself cry, and I know that if I try again, I'm gonna fail again. Any suggestion or advice on what I could do next will be greatly appreciated.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And then OP Posted an update. Oh boy, turns out I avoided a big, big bullet. So I had been planning to drive to a small river two miles away and then I would break up with my girlfriend through text. But then my girlfriend arrived home and tried to talk me into going to a restaurant for a romantic date. I told her I couldn't go because I was busy, and she slowly went from telling me, there is nothing more important in this date.
Starting point is 00:12:31 To her screaming and asking what I could be so busy with, and even demanding that I show her my phone. And I just lost it. I told her that I knew about the text with her friend, and that I knew she was cheating on me, and that I was gonna break up with her. And she started crying, begging me for forgiveness, and honestly, I was close to repeating the same mistake as before until she said, PLEASE forgive me, I promise that those texts were platonic, there was nothing real to them.
Starting point is 00:12:57 I don't know why, but those words made me even angrier. I started to yell, and I told her that she needed to pick up her things and get out of my apartment right now. She then yelled at me that I couldn't just kick her out of her own house. I laughed and reminded her that I was the one paying for the bills for everything. After that, she told me that she was going to end herself tonight and it was going to be my fault. I just told her not my problem and she left crying. Right after that, I called her parents and family to let them know what happened. They were incredibly apologetic for what she'd done.
Starting point is 00:13:28 And after that, they told me that when she enters their home, they'll punish her and force her to go to therapy. And that said, for what I know she hasn't gotten home yet, but as her father said, she always says she's going to end herself over the smallest things and she never goes through with it. Don't worry. I included this story in today's video because this is an important lesson. A lot of people will try to emotionally abuse their partner by basically saying that
Starting point is 00:13:51 their life depends on you. They'll say they're suicidal or they want to self harm and the only thing stopping them is you. This is just a strategy that abusers use to control people through guilt, so don't let it work on you. Also, since when is sexting people about how much you want to bang them, pletonic? O.P, your girlfriend sounds super toxic and I'm really glad for you that you're out of that relationship.
Starting point is 00:14:14 That was our slash relationship advice, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. episodes every single day.

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