rSlash - r/Relationships My Dad Thinks I'm Cheating On Him
Episode Date: December 29, 2022https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home
Welcome to our slash relationship advice where a guy believes that he's in a romantic relationship with his daughter
The title of our next post is I moved in with an older male colleague and my dad is acting jealous and it's extremely creepy.
I'm a 21 year old woman. I had a really strict upbringing and I was never allowed to talk to or
befriend males because my father would get live it over it. But recently I got a job as a
receptionist at this law firm and I befriended a colleague. He heard about my upbringing and apparently
it reminded him of a kid that
he used to foster, so he offered that I could share his apartment if I pay a third of the
bills. So I agreed because getting some adult experience of like having a roommate would
probably be a good experience. I didn't tell my dad that I was moving in with a guy
because I knew that he'd be angry. But when he found out, he started calling me a whore and a slut, and saying that I was
a typical woman and that I have no loyalty to him or to our relationship, and that I was
a cheating B word.
Before I knew it, he was already demanding a key and the security code and calling me
every hour.
He tried to show up to the apartment, and he called my roommate a slut stealing pig, and
I'm freaked out.
He seems jealous in a romantic way, and it's really weird and uncomfortable.
I feel like I need some advice, but I don't know who to talk to.
It's extremely comfortable, and I'm really worried.
What?
OP, OK, so when I read these stories, I have to concentrate on reading it in like an
engaging way, so sometimes I focus on reading it in like an engaging way.
So sometimes I focus on the words that I'm saying and less on the story.
And so as a result, sometimes I misread stories.
I don't get the meaning right.
As I'm reading the story, I'm like, wait, do I understand this correctly?
This is the dad, right?
This is the dad that's jealous.
This is the dad that's calling Opie a whore.
And it's like, yeah, this is her dad.
Not a controlling boyfriend. Not it's like, yeah, this is her dad. Not a, not a controlling boyfriend,
not a jealous ex-husband. That's her dad. Um, OP, this is a, oh geez, this is not a
normal or healthy relationship for a father and a daughter. Your, your dad does seem to
be romantically jealous. Almost as if he expects you to be in a relationship with him,
which I don't even know why I have to say this,
but I guess I do have to, that's not normal.
I'm seeing some really worrying behavior
out of your dad, OP.
How do I say this in a way that OP will actually listen
and believe?
OP, I think you might be in danger.
I think you might actually be in physical danger.
I'm sure you love your father and you probably think
that he wouldn't hurt you, but this is disturbing.
And after reading a lot of these stories,
I don't really feel like you're perfectly safe
in this situation.
So I hope you're able to get out of this situation with your dad.
You need to cut him out of your life entirely because this is really messed up behavior.
But uh, good luck OP.
Oh here we go.
This comment from She-Shell.
I don't want to scare you but I think you need to know this.
There was a recent stabbing in my country because the girl's father and brother didn't
like the man that she was dating, so they stabbed her. I would absolutely cut contact with your father in the safest way by
moving out of your current housing situation and to somewhere where your dad doesn't know the address,
he sounds very unstable. My mom's boyfriend, who's 40? Constantly has a problem with me,
a 16 year old girl. For some background info, my parents
separated when I was 3, but they've always separated their issues with each other for
my sake. I know that my mom cheated on my papa, but he's never made her out to be
a villain to me. They agreed that I'd be living with him with visitation to my mom's
place. Both of my parents have new partners. My papa, who's 38, married his boyfriend
who's 38 when I was 8 years old, and I've
always seen him as my dad too.
They had my sister when I was 9, so she's 7 now, and our family is honestly great.
Our dads love each other endlessly, so my sister and I have just grown up in a pretty
loving and caring environment.
I love my mom too, and like I said, my dad has never said anything bad about
her to me or my sister. She didn't exactly settle down like my dad did, and she's had
a lot of guys come and go. It was a little hard when I was younger and I would get attached.
I've since learned that I shouldn't be doing that. My mom's current boyfriend of about a year
always has some kind of bone to pick with me. He's pretty clear that he doesn't like having me around or the fact that I get attention from mom when I'm
around. My mom doesn't like hearing complaints about him and she does say certain things about
my dad. She's never liked the fact that I call my pop as husband dad. Her boyfriend also
has a problem with the fact that I'm living with him when he doesn't even like me in the first
place. I honestly don't know what he wants from me.
It's getting hotter where I live, and I usually sleep in shorts and t-shirts, and he has
a problem with me walking around like that, and it makes me uncomfortable.
He also makes weird comments that insinuate that my dads would look at me like I'm not
their daughter, and would essentially sexualize me.
He also
says he doesn't get why they're even married and raising kids together.
These kinds of comments are another thing that makes me uncomfortable. He also mentioned
things about my body, like I'm showing off my figure, and my boyfriend would be lucky.
I don't know what to do. Would it be bad if I told my mom that I won't be coming over
anymore as long as he's there? I don't know if I should tell my dads about them either.
My dad, especially, is super protective of me and my sister and would never let anything bad happen
to either of us or my papa. I have no problem just living at home with my dads and my sister
and tell my mom can store things out with her boyfriend, if she ever does. I just don't want to
completely cut contact with my mom.
Opie, this is what you call red flags.
It is not normal for a stepfather to say sexual comments about his stepdaughter.
It is extremely abnormal, in fact.
You should 100% tell your papa and your dad what's going on with your stepfather.
He's abusing you emotionally, and based on how
this story is going, I wouldn't be surprised if it extends to physical abuse as well. You should
absolutely not have to live under the same roof as this guy. And by the sound of things, your
fathers would be more than happy to have you stay with them full time. Please help with my husband's
midlife crisis. He's no longer acting like the man that I married.
I'm a 33 year old woman, and I've always had difficulty dating.
However, when I met Howard, things just fell into place.
He was sweet and actually listened.
He wouldn't try to press me to do things I didn't want to, and he was okay with just
spending a quiet day in together.
So two years ago, when he proposed to me, of course I said yes.
We decided to keep our finances separate and we have a prenuptial agreement in the event
of a divorce.
I loved my husband, who's now 40, and the relationship that we had, but these last few
months have been difficult.
At first, it started relatively small with him just changing the way that he dresses and
switching out his cologne for something that's much cheaper.
He claims that he just wants to switch things up, but his new style seems to be emulating
early 20 year olds.
I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't very well force it out of him, so I planned
to be there when he needed me.
When he asked me to go to a club with him, I really wanted to say no, but I've made
him tag along to places that he didn't enjoy, so I decided I could at least be with him
while he gets out of the system.
However, he seemed to think that anything I wore was too bland.
I put on the flashiest clothes that I had, and I stuffed myself in a hot, dark room with
loud just out of college-age kids.
He wanted to dance and drink, and I really tried, but I have sensory issues.
When someone spilled a drink all over me, it was too much for me, and I told my husband
I would meet him at home.
He seemed disappointed, but I don't know what he expected from me.
In the following weeks, he only got more fond of partying, and he ended up getting fired
for his lack of professionalism.
He would often stay out long past when I went to sleep and come back only to stink up our
bed.
For obvious reasons, we stopped passionately hugging, and he tried proposing a three-way
to spice things up to say that I was disgusted would be an understatement.
I brought up therapy, even offering to pay, but he just said that he's no longer looking
to waste his life.
Since then, I've been sleeping in my guest room.
I knew roughly how much money he had saved up, and I'd been counting down the days until
he would have to look for a job again.
When his money ran out, he started withdrawing from his retirement fund.
He also started bringing up his thought about how
split finances were a sign of a toxic relationship. After a while of me not suggesting what he hoped,
he ended up directly asking me to merge finances. When I refused, he accused me of financial abuse.
I even tried giving him an ultimatum, but he called me abusive for that as well.
The only advice I've gotten from people has either been to leave him or just wait it out.
As for leaving him, he held his last job for almost 20 years,
then left on bad terms.
He has no savings,
every decreasing retirement account
and the lease on his car is almost up.
He has no living family
and his friends have created distance
in his midlife crisis.
He doesn't even have a home, we've been staying in my condo.
Leaving him would mean leaving him broke and homeless.
As far as waiting it out, I'm already at my wit's end.
So since I've tried everything else I could think of, why not ask strangers on the internet
for advice?
Uh, yeah this is pretty weird.
I mean, it's not like completely outlandish, but this seems like a really really drastic change in
Personality, especially if this guy's had the same job for 20 years and he gets fired because he just doesn't care anymore.
I would guess either drugs or a brain tumor.
Normally I'd say it's probably another woman, but like, it sounds like the problem is partying not necessarily cheating I mean there might also be cheating on top of that
But it sounds like all he wants to do is just not be responsible and go goof off and have fun instead and
Cheating would just be like a byproduct of that core goal. So
Brain tumor maybe I don't know could be drugs. I guess it could just be a midlife crisis
It could be you know a run of the mill, 40-year-old man
gets sick of his life and wants to spice things up
by reliving the glory of his youth.
I guess that's possible.
It just feels a little sudden and weird
for that to be the case.
Anyways, OP, based on your actual question,
it kind of sounds like your relationship is over,
more or less.
It's just slowly dying. It's on life support, it's days are numbered.
So you could stick it out, but I don't think it's gonna work out.
Unless it does turn out to be a brain tumor, which case maybe it can be operated, but I don't
know if he thinks it's not looking good.
The title of the next post is, I just discovered that my husband baby trapped me 11 years ago,
and he has a pattern of reproductive
coercion.
When I say that I just discovered this, I don't mean like today, but two days ago I found
his blog slash page on some question and answering website that he more or less uses as a personal
confession or diary of some sorts.
And what I discovered there terrified me.
I'm 32 and my husband is 44.
He openly describes how he baby trapped me when we first met.
He was an older man and he was a stranger from his wife at the time.
I was clueless and desperate.
A college dropout with a six-month-old baby living with my parents.
He charmed my parents.
He charmed my sister and her husband. He held my son and
was so caring to us at the time. My whole family was poor and he offered to help out and
he followed through on that. He bought me milk, diapers, medicine, gave me expensive
jewelry. Then I got pregnant. I was just 21 and my first pregnancy had been unplanned in a C section and I was
terrified but he talked me into keeping the baby and said that he'd always help me. He
said that he'd married me, that he was the love of my life, that he would divorce his wife soon
and he did. He divorced her and married me. We moved to his country and had three more kids.
He had three kids with his first wife, then he adopted my firstborn and then had three
more with me.
His family is rich and he has a good job through their connections, although he doesn't
do a lot to be honest, but he's very good at pretending to be busy.
Now in this blog of his, he wrote that he selected his first wife because of her intelligence.
My husband never finished university while she went
to a prestigious university and he wanted smart children. He poked holes in his condoms
and stealthed her. She got pregnant. They had a shotgun marriage. Three kids and two post
part-um depressions later, she left him. He had her diagnosed with some mental illness
and ended up getting custody with the help of his family.
After that, he selected me because of my looks and me being a lot younger.
Rince repeats, it turns out I'm just an object to him.
I never felt fully at ease with him, but I also couldn't explain why I never felt fully
at ease with him.
It was just something I felt, but I was constantly gaslit, even by my
own family and friends if I brought it up because of how generous he was and how he charmed
them. I second-guessed myself a lot. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Eventually, I just
sort of settled into the whole motherhood thing. I decided to give him my all. He even wrote on his
blog that he was happy that I had a baby already because this time she wouldn't
think of me as the one who ruined her life because another dude already knocked her up first.
It's all just so gross, but I can't stop scrolling and reading his thoughts too.
There's so so much of it. He's not the person I thought he was, or not the person he presented
himself to be all these years.
I'm 100% sure that his ex-wife isn't crazy like he portrayed her, but instead another
gaslit victim.
I'm super confused, and I don't know what to do.
I also don't have a job, and I'm a full-time mother, so this is a scary situation to be
in.
What do I do?
I don't even know where to begin with any of this
or who to tell or whether or not I should even tell them.
Oh my God, OP, do not tell him you found out about this.
This guy's showing like psychopath behavior
where he treats other people as objects
and manipulates them and ruins their life
and feels almost proud about it.
So telling him is not going to make things better.
Opie, I think at the end of the day you need to walk away from him because if this guy manipulated
you this way, then who knows what he could do to your children?
Save everything you found, take it to a lawyer, get a divorce, and get custody.
That was our Slash Relationships and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast
because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.
Get custody! That was our Slash Relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow
my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.