rSlash - r/Relationships My Friend Shot Me in the Head with a Crossbow

Episode Date: December 8, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Accident 3:53 Age gap 7:48 Dogs 11:59 Control 14:59 Debts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to R slash relationships where OP literally gets shot in the skull. Our next Reddit post is from OK Volume. This is a hard thing to talk about, as it only happened a week ago. My family owns a crossbow that we usually shoot at a target on our property. My father owns it, but it's considered to be mine for use. I'm quite skilled with the crossbow, and I fired it many times, and I'm very careful. It's not a killing weapon, but it's not a toy, and shooting it in a critical place could be lethal. I didn't shoot actual arrows, but more like pencil-sized darts with relatively sharp metal tips.

I'd brought friends over before, including my best friend, an 18-year-old guy, to shoot at the target with me before with no issue. This is because I very clearly explained that it is not a toy and to exercise caution. One day, my friend called me up and asked if we could shoot the crossbow. Unfortunately, I said yes. In retrospect, the warning signs were there from the start, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened that day. He showed up shortly after calling, and I was there set up and ready for him.

From the start, he wanted to begin shooting the target, but I slowed him down and went over the protocol of how to fire it and how to put the safety on. He kept giving me quick responses of, I remember how to do it, and I gave the demonstration myself. Now, we had done this before, so it wasn't a complete red flag that he wanted to speed through the instructions, but I wish my judgment was better. He fired it off a few times and hit the target with no issue. Then I went to grab more darts from the dart box, which was behind the direction of the target,

essentially completely opposite to the line of fire. It all happened in seconds. I felt a sharp thud hit my head and my vision go black for a moment, but there was no pain. I remember looking at my friend with the crossbow in his hand, wide-eyed as a deer. I began, oh, geez, I began to scream as I instinct. I instinctively pulled the pencil-sized dart from my head. I have to say I may have been more in control than he was while I was bleeding from the head, as he froze in shock and I yelled at him to call 911, which he did.

My adrenaline was through the roof, and I didn't actually feel the injury, but I knew that I was bleeding. Very quickly, both police and medics showed up on the scene, and I was fully lucid, and I understood that I hadn't sustained a serious injury. However, oh man, the place where I was hit was an inch between my eye and my temple. I told the police it wasn't intentional, as my friend could barely speak out of shock. I went to the hospital but was let out very quickly. It's been a week, and my friend called to ask if I was okay at the time that I was in the hospital, but we haven't talked since then.

There was so much dangerous stupidity from him that I can't understand how he had his safety off, and how he turned away from his target, faced me, and shot. Can I ever be his friend again? O.P., do you really need to come to Reddit and be like, hey, someone shot me in the freaking head with a deadly weapon? Should I, should I be his friend? Should I give him another chance? No! Come on!

That's nuts. I almost have to wonder if it was intentional. Because if he did a straight 180-degree turn and pointed the crossbow at you, maybe he did, maybe he, maybe he actually did want to kill you. Yeah, down in the comments, other people are thinking the same thing that it sounds intentional? Because how do you shoot someone behind you?

Yeah, okay, post after post after post, I'm seeing the word intentional, and I agree, it does sound super suspicious. Half an inch to the left, and you would have permanently lost your eye. Half an inch to the right, and it would have hit your temple, and you would have at least had permanent brain damage,

maybe even died. Our next Reddit post is from Living Silver. John and I met at work. He was my office manager for several years. About three years ago, I went through a really rough breakup with my ex, and my mental state was very poor. John could see how upset I was at work, even though I did my best to leave it at home. I didn't really want to be the latest office gossip, so when he started offering his office for me to work in private, I was super grateful. Sometimes he would be there, but he was often needed elsewhere, so I wasn't too concerned about the other type of gossip forming. Over time, John and I grew a close bond. And after a few months, we started going out for drinks and food. I guess you could say we began dating. I'm a 32-year-old woman and John is a 54-year-old guy, so that's a 22-year age gap. The age thing was always in the back of my mind, but those first few months were really good, so I didn't think much of it. He was kind, funny, caring, and just seemed like a really great guy. After several months of dating, John made the decision to transfer offices to

avoid any conflicts of interest or potential problems with the company. Not long after we moved in together. That's when the problems started to reveal themselves. At first, it was small, stupid things, like he would insist I stop watching my favorite TV shows because they were childish and stupid. I would laugh and say he didn't get it because he's old, and we'd make a joke of it. The thing is, though, he wasn't joking. This became a constant thing, and it began to weigh on me until I decided to just stop watching. Next up was my clothing choices. He accused me of dressing like I was in my 20s, like I was wanting to attract a young guy. So, I started dressing older and more appropriately.

He started making me feel bad about my friends, accusing them of being childish and boring. He would go out of his way to ask them questions about philosophy and politics, and then berate them for not knowing the answers. My friends confessed they didn't like being around him because he made them feel belittled, which is exactly how he often makes me feel. I hardly see my friends anymore, but I don't blame them for wanting to distance themselves. I used to have a lot of independence in my life, hobbies, friends, and fun. Now it seems all I ever really do is what John wants to do,

most of which are things I find absolutely mind-numbingly dull. Whenever I push back and try to do what I want, he'll shut me down, making me feel tiny and stupid for suggesting it, often using his age as a way to say, I know better than you. and that's been my life for the past couple of years up until recently. Enter Mark, the new guy at work who's incredibly fun to be around. He has amazing energy, charisma, and bundles of charm.

He and I get on like a house on fire. We share a lot of the same hobbies, he's only a couple of years older than me, and he makes me laugh in ways that I haven't laughed since I was a kid. The kind of goofy, uncontrollable laughter that makes your sides hurt. I find myself thinking about Mark a lot. I look forward to going to work to hang out with him. I get butterflies in my belly when I'm around him, and I feel a genuine warmth when I'm with him.

To be clear, nothing romantic has happened between me and Mark, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it to. John was there for me when I really needed someone. Maybe I'm the problem for not strongly advocating for myself. I've always been a people-pleaser. I can't even tell what's real anymore. If I'm being selfish or childish or getting swept up in the fantasy of it all, I could really use some advice here.

O.P., you sound like one of those people who completely defines themselves by their relationship. I'm noticing a pattern of jumping out of one relationship into another relationship and completely changing yourself and your whole world because you're dating a new guy now. So, girl, take a break. You don't need to date anyone. And you don't have to worry about dumping John for a younger guy. Dump John because he's a bad person. Forget the age difference thing. He's just a controlling jerk.

Our next Reddit post is from Unusual Crim. My 29-year-old boyfriend gave me, a 27-year-old woman, an ultimatum, him or my dogs, and I don't know how to handle his rigidity anymore. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months. We've known each other for over two years as close friends and dance partners. Our connection has always been deep. We communicate well, care for each other, and when things are good, it feels like we're genuinely a team. But there's one issue that keeps coming back, and it's now become an ultimatum, my dogs. He's made it clear that he can't live with them. He says he can't stand the smell, the hair, or the idea of mess. Even the possibility of something like scratches or accidents stresses him out. He also says he doesn't want to feel guilty

when I'm tired and need help, because he doesn't want to go against his principles and help with them at all. At first, he said that he was open to trying and wanted to see how it would go. We came up with compromises or solutions like building an outdoor space or sunroom for the dogs, keeping them mostly outside, me taking full responsibility, even having them stay with my parents part of the time. Every time, he agreed for a while, and then later, he would pull back and say it didn't bring him peace. He told me he wants a simple life, and the thought of dogs adds stress. But the pattern goes deeper than just the dogs. Whenever something happens that makes him feel restricted or out of control, he becomes uncomfortable and distant.

If plans change unexpectedly, or if I ask for small favors, he gets frustrated. Even little things, like wanting to stop at home before going somewhere, can make him feel trapped. He admits that he feels bad when he sees me tired, because he knows that helping would make things easier for me, but he doesn't want to do it out of principle. He says if he does it anyway, he'll resent it, so in his mind, it's better to not do it at all. He also said that he knows in both cases he'd feel bad. He even said something like, if I broke my leg, he wouldn't walk the dogs because a deal's a deal. But he also knows that it would then fall on to him, and he doesn't want that. It's like he's allergic to any situation that requires

flexibility or emotional labor. What hurts most is that I can see how hard he's trying to feel in control of his life. But I wish he could see that life isn't controllable. I think the dogs are just the biggest trigger for a deeper discomfort. They represent unpredictability, responsibility, and the need to rely on others. And instead of looking at why that scares him, he just tells himself, I can't do this. I don't like it. When we talk about it, he tells me he's been thinking about it for weeks, and he can't find peace with the idea of living with dogs for years. He says it's not me, but that he doesn't see how we can work long term if our lifestyles are so different. But I've tried every compromise I can think of, and he refuses them all. I love him deeply, but I feel

like I'm walking on eggshells around his discomfort. I can't express too much emotion or he shuts down. I can't ask for help without him feeling trapped. It's exhausting, and yet I keep trying because I can see the person he is underneath the fear, someone who's warm, loving, and gentle when he feels safe. You know, O.P., it's ironic that your boyfriend doesn't like dogs because he really likes training others to do what he wants them to do, because that's exactly what he's doing with you. He's narrowing what you're allowed to do more and more and more so that you behave exactly the way he wants you to. All these excuses you're making for him about, oh, he's afraid of giving up, he's afraid of chaos and he's got fears. Nah, man, he's just controlling.

He just wants the perfect wife slash girlfriend who does whatever he wants to do. If this guy was so hung up on dogs, why'd he date someone with dogs, you dummy? All this talk about principles? What about the principles of treating your girlfriend, you know, like a person and being nice to them and, you know, being a loving person? Why do principles only matter within the principles of not doing something, not being kind? That's the principle that matters. Being a douchebag. I have a right to be a douchebag and I cannot bend on this.

O.P. Keep the dogs. Ditch the man. Our next Reddit post is from Throwaway Sorbet. I'm a 32-year-old woman and my 37-year-old fiancé is a homicide detective. We've been together for almost four years. He's a homicide detective, and my friends immediately started side-eyeing me. They said, don't date a cop, it's not worth it. They're all abusive. None of them have ever actually dated a cop, so I found their opinions more annoying than anything

else. I just felt like they were basing their judgment off a stereotype. My mom said similar things, but she dated a cop who was former military with PTSD like 49 years ago and based everything off that. lately though a few things have started to bother me he records our arguments i've known about that for a while he told me it was to make sure we remember things correctly and communicate better and i believed him at first i didn't like it and thought that it was petty and stupid i asked him if he saved the recordings and he said he deletes them once the argument was resolved i've since found a folder on his

computer labeled with dates and times and their recordings of arguments or other conversations we've had going back over a year. He notices tiny changes in my behavior and asks questions in a way that feels more like an interrogation than concern. I also recently discovered he's done background checks on some of my friends and coworkers. Sometimes his phone buzzes and he steps out for hours without explanation. But he just says he's handling work stuff whenever I ask. He makes cryptic comments like, you know I only trust what I can verify, or I like to know everything that might matter when it comes to things between us. Not strictly talking about work. Then he laughs it off, but the word stick. It's hard to tell when he's joking and when he's serious. I love him,

but it's like sometimes I feel like he's treating me like I'm some sort of suspect. He doesn't seem to trust anyone, including me. Every little disagreement feels like it could be evidence. Recently, he's made some comments related to having kids about having a tracker on them at all times, and never letting them spend the night at friends' houses. He said he'll never let his kids spend the night at someone else's house, and that he'll do background checks on every parent of our kids' friends and teachers. I feel like these sorts of comments are becoming more frequent, and it's just escalating. How do I handle this with him? How do I discuss this in a way that won't just turn into a dumb argument that he inevitably records for no good reason? I honestly

don't know how to bring this up to him. I've considered telling him he needs therapy because he cannot continue to live life so suspicious and paranoid about everything and every one. But I'm pretty sure he'll refuse that. Down in the comments, this post from Plastic Venus feels especially relevant. Domestic violence counselor here, your post reeks of coercive control, which is a form of domestic violence. And sadly, the whole cop aspect isn't a small thing either. This man is incredibly controlling and manipulative, and I implore you to move very carefully. it posted from ABC. My wife is 21 weeks pregnant and came to me Thursday night saying that she was going to have a panic attack. And that's when she told me that she maxed her credit cards

on online slots. Looking at her report, it appears that between September and October was $20,000 and she had nothing else to spend that money on. That's two months, so that's about $10,000 a month. So she opened more credit cards that haven't hit her report and maxed them to the total tune of $60,000. When she first told me, she lied and originally claimed $30,000 and later came clean that it was actually $60,000. She told me that she can feel my resentment and that she can't take it. So she's packed some things and moved in with her grandma. I never yelled at her, but I did tell her I was disgusted and disappointed and that I can't believe that she did this to her two dogs and soon to be born son. I told her that she needs to go see her dog.

doctor and a therapist, and that's about it so far. I don't even understand the chemical imbalance in one's brain to even consider doing something of this nature. I do love and miss her, but I don't know what to even think. Well, my friend, hire a divorce attorney, and they can do the thinking for you. That was our slash relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because that was our slash relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.