rSlash - r/Relationships My Girlfriend Is Making Me Choose Between Her And My Cat

Episode Date: August 16, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice OP is in love with his girlfriend, who's a vegan. His girlfriend has somewhat extreme attitudes about her veganism, to the point where she thinks that just owning a cat is unethical. She absolutely refuses to live with OP's cat and demands that he get rid of the cat immediately, because the cat is a meat-eating murderer. Should OP give up his beloved cat to make his girlfriend happy? If you like this podcast, be sure to follow my podcast for more daily episodes! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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My wife won't stop forcing me to drink her coffee. I don't wanna hurt her feelings, but I can't go on like this. My wife lost her job recently while I'm currently working from my home office. Because I don't get a chance to take breaks, she's kind enough to bring me a coffee once in a while. Nothing fancy, just regular filter coffee. This used to only happen once every few hours, so in an average day, I drink maybe 2-3 cups of coffee.

That was fine. The problem has come in recent weeks. When I sit down on my desk, usually at 8 a.m., there's a steaming cup of coffee waiting for me. Great, I drank it. But almost as soon as I've finished, my wife will come in and leave me with a fresh cup of coffee. Every 15-20 minutes will come into the room and bring me more coffee.

I like coffee enough in the mornings, but I do not need to chug gallons of it throughout the day. The mug she brings me are not small either. There are some issues that I don't know how to explain or address. If I let the coffee go cold, she'll make upset faces and often refuse to speak to me. Sometimes for hours or even a full day until I ask her for more coffee. I will admit that sometimes I deliberately don't drink my morning coffee on purpose so I can get a few hours of peace. We've talked about this repeatedly and almost daily at this point. Every time she comes in with a coffee, I'll tell her that I've had enough and I don't want anymore. She will often just silently put the coffee down next to me and

the process will repeat again. I've asked for other drinks, water or coke sometimes, and she'll sometimes bring those instead. But as soon as I've finished she'll bring me another coffee. Now I'm getting regular headaches, nausea, and sometimes I'll be able to feel my own heartbeat. I don't think for a second that all this coffee is good for me. I'm sorry Opie, I don't know why I'm laughing at this story, it's just ridiculous. So my brain immediately went to two places. One option is it sounds like your wife is really bored and wants to be useful and the only thing she can think of is getting you a cup of coffee. The second option, which I'm sure isn't the case, is that she's trying to kill you and

that there's tiny little bits of antifreeze in your coffee. But maybe that's just because I've been watching too many crime documentaries on Netflix. My girlfriend's dad discourage me from proposing because their family isn't thrilled about us having dark babies. Me and my girlfriend Naomi are an interracial couple, with her being Korean and me being black. We've dated for just under 5 years now, and for the past few months, I've been planning on proposing.

I'm pretty traditional, so I thought it would be a good idea to ask Naomi's dad for her blessings before I proposed. When I arrived at their house, I was greeted by Naomi's mother and father who invited me in. After a little talking, I told them that I was going to propose in one of their blessing. Her mother was ecstatic, and her father didn't seem displeased, and he told me it was okay for me to propose. We talked more, and the topic of babies was brought up by her mother. I told her that I wanted to have kids with her, and she got even happier. We continued talking, and when I told them that I wanted to have kids with her and she got even happier. We continue talking and when I told them that I needed to start hitting home, her mother said she would send me home with some food and left for the kitchen.

Me and her dad have a small language barrier between us that usually is alleviated by either Naomi or her mother, so we kinda just sat there in silence. He told me this and I'll clean it up, but it was difficult to understand as he is in great English. You're a very nice young man and we like you a lot. We'd be happy to have you in our family, but we're not too happy about you and her having dark babies. I was stunned and kind of just awkwardly laughed.

We sat there for another two minutes before her mom came out with a wrapped plate. When I got home, I said nothing about this to Naomi. I know I need to talk to her about what was said, but I don't want to be the one that accuses her family of being racists. I know this is probably irrational, but the way her father said it, put the thought in my head that Naomi may not want kids because of how dark I am. How do I approach her about this in the least accusatory way possible? And then OP posted an update. Yesterday afternoon, I sat my girlfriend down and had a conversation with her about what

her dad said to me. I tried to leave out any mention of the proposal and told her I was in the neighborhood and decided to pop by. It was a terrible lie, I know, but she bought it. I told her what her dad said about us having dark babies and asked if she had any similar feelings about our kids popping out half black. She looked at me like I was out of my mind. She said she didn't give a flip about the color of her kids as long as I was a dad, which

was reassuring. She was not so happy with her dad. She wanted us to take a drive over there and talk with her parents about it. That evening, we dropped by unannounced and when her mom opened the door to see her, she immediately asked Naomi to show her the ring. Naomi was confused, and I just about panicked. I, like an idiot, didn't call a head to her parents that I hadn't proposed. I guess her mom thought we were going to surprise her with the engagement and assumed I had already proposed. I was speechless.

They began speaking in Korean, but from context, I assume her mom was asking if I was too cheap to buy her an engagement ring. And Naomi looked at me and started hugging and kissing me. My secret was out, and I told her I'd already asked her parents for their blessing. She was a few seconds from crying, but sucked it up so we could speak to her dad. Like I said in my original post, my future father-in-law isn't great in English so he and Naomi spoke in Korean. According to Naomi, she asked him why he told me that, and he said that he was worried about their extended family not viewing our babies as Korean, and being rude to them or me for being black.

I guess this didn't come across well in English because he was just concerned for me and our kids. He didn't care that our babies would have dark skin. This was a huge relief. Her father isn't the racist, their extended families are, but like F them, who cares what they think. I'm just so glad that our future kids are going to have grandparents that are going to love them.

The only downside is now Naomi's expecting my proposal so I really got a knocker socks off. Thanks so much for the help. You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 in new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now, boarding business platinum. I'm a 22 year old guy and my 21 year old vegan girlfriend wants me to get rid of my cat. I've been dating my girlfriend for seven months. She's amazing and we're super compatible in a lot of ways.

She's an outspoken vegan and she made it clear at the start of our relationship that it was important to her that any potential partner had similar cruelty-free values. Me, already being a pescatarian, had little difficulty transitioning to a fully plant-based diet. My girlfriend was proud of me for going cruelty-free and everything seemed well. We became the vegan couple on our college campus. Then there's my cat, Mittens. I've had her for three years and I adore her. She's such a sweet and cuddly cat. However, my girlfriend was always a little apprehensive around her and

she blamed it on not growing up around cats. After a while, we sort of made a tacit agreement to mostly hang out at her apartment instead of mine, so Mittens never really came up again in conversation. Fast forward through all the quarantine stuff. My girlfriend and I have spent a lot of time together during this pandemic, and we started talking about taking our relationship to the next level. We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other. However, after a lot of talking and planning, my girlfriend sat me down and dropped a bombshell on me. She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she didn't see a future with me unless I was willing to give away middens. She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable

for vegans because they hunt mice and eat meat and because the very active owning a pet is violation of vegan principles. I was stunned! I told her I was absolutely not willing to give up mittens, and my cat had no choice but to eat meat, so I was reducing harm as much as possible by buying reputable brands of cat food. Plenty of vegans own cats and think along those same lines. My girlfriend got mad and said,

How much flesh does your cat eat? How many animals died to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh? I got mad and told my girlfriend that I would have really appreciated her telling me about her cat opinions before we got serious. She went on and on about cats killing animals. I ended the conversation there. I got so angry that I left my girlfriend's

apartment, and I snuck her with mittens when I got home. Although, the mood soured a bit when my girlfriend sent me a link to a Reddit thread advocating for the extinction of domestic cats. Sigh. I think it goes without saying that I'm not going to get rid of my cat. However, it pains me to think that an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology. I don't even really understand where my girlfriend is coming from because, like I said, a lot of vegan zone cats. Now, granted, cat ownership can be a controversial topic in vegan circles, and

I probably wouldn't have gotten a cat if I had been vegan at the time, but I have mittens now and she deserves to eat. Yes, I've researched vegan cat food, but mittens has some digestive issues and my vet strongly cautions against it. I've talked to some of my vegan and vegetarian friends and they all think my girlfriend is lost or mined. Some have suggested that it's not about mittens and my girlfriend just wants an excuse to end it. They probably don't understand why I haven't broken up yet, but I care about my girlfriend

so much. I'd hate for this bizarre curveball to be the end of a beautiful thing. I want to try and work something out. Where do I even go from here? I will not compromise on Mittens, and I don't think my girlfriend will compromise either. Down in the comments, I like this post from Chakahonika. See if the local shelter will allow you to surrender your girlfriend. And then OP posted an update.

I would like to preimp this post by saying, as many users point out, that my girlfriend's extreme views on domestic cats are not representative of the vegan or vegetarian community as a whole. I do think that sometimes new vegans can be a little overzealous. In reality, most of us are just doing the best we can to not hurt animals. I didn't expect to generate a big debate in the comments, so we broke up, obviously. I would never, ever give up my cat mittens. Many users said the situation was about control, not veganism, and looking back, I do see a pattern of control

in my girlfriend's part. I was blind to it, I guess. I called my girlfriend and said I was not willing to give up mittens under any circumstances, and given the recent issues we'd had and our incompatible views, I thought it was best to be parted ways. I said she deserved a partner that shared her values. She then asked if we were breaking up, and I said yes. There was some anger on her and, but otherwise, the situation actually went better than I expected. So yeah, that's really it. Down in the comments, T. Thupor says,

you chose the right pussy, sir. I'm a 29 year old female, and I keep finding long hairs in my bathroom, which is strange, because my husband is bald, and I have a short pixie crop hairstyle. This started a few weeks ago. While cleaning the bathroom, I found a number of long hair strands over my bathroom wall by the shower. This struck me as very odd, because not only does my husband not have hair, I also wear a very cropped short hairstyle.

So it's impossible for this trans I found to belong to either me or my husband. Confused, I washed them away, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided to not mention it, but kept looking out for them. There seems to be a pattern that there's hairs appearing when I'm either at work or out for a longer time period. I feel like I'm going crazy and feel like I shouldn't just immediately go to my husband cheating on me with a longer haired woman. I asked my husband about it and he just shrugged, which makes me more paranoid as surely there's something that's strange. So why is he so blas-a about it? I'm starting to think he's playing it down to

stop me from finding the truth. It happened again two days ago, and I asked my husband again. He dismissed it, but this time admitted it's strange, but told me the only explanation is that they must be my hairs. They're not, and after saying so, now he'll just ignore me if I bring it up. I don't want to assume my husband is cheating on me and accusing him of such over something so ridiculous, but I'm driving myself into the ground trying to work out how the hairs have gotten there without my husband dismissing it as nothing. During lockdown, we haven't had any visitors that I know of, so I can rule out his sister.

And then O.P. posted an update. I ultimately decided against getting his secret camera set up because, ironically enough, I didn't want to betray my partner's trust. Though part of me wanted to get one to squash any worries of someone living in my walls as some people suggested. I did though plan to leave work early, which is something I've never done before. My boss allowed me to leave after a half day. Upon returning home, nothing seemed to miss.

I was expecting another car on the driver parked outside in the street. There was no other car I didn't recognize. Quietly letting myself in, I was immediately confused. In the hallway, there was a pair of shoes I didn't recognize, and not only that, they looked like men's shoes. I was standing in the hallway trying to work out what to do. If I should sneak around or make my presence known. Before I could decide, my husband walked out of the kitchen with two cups of tea. By my husband's face, it was obvious he was surprised to see me. Playing along with Naibite, I asked my husband how he could have known I was coming home early to make me tea.

Expecting my husband to lie, he surprised me by sitting me down and explaining everything. At the beginning of lockdown, his friend, someone I'm not at all close with because I've only met once was evicted. Lost his job and had been couch surfing. So on some days over the past couple of weeks, this guy had been traveling to our house, and with the knowledge of my husband, using our bathroom to freshen up to attend interviews. He was also borrowing shirts and suits for my husband. As it turns out, my husband's friend has long hair and a beard. So it turns out my husband isn't cheating on me but was hiding the fact that his long

haired friend was coming over to use our shower. After his shower, I ended up meeting Dave and he turned out to be a very nice person just down on his luck. I wish him the best for his socially distance interview and he turned out to be a very nice person just down on his luck. I wish him the best for a socially distance interview and he went on his way. I asked my husband why he didn't just tell me as I wouldn't have had a problem with it. Turns out, he was worried about my reaction and me not liking his friend or proving of the situation.

He also told me Dave was very embarrassed about the whole situation and didn't want people to know what he was having to do. I told my husband I was starting to believe he was cheating and he was shocked. Having not even considered those implications while attempting to cover for his friend, I told him this whole thing was ridiculous and he even suggested his friend live with us until he gets back on his feet. Funnily enough, my worst case scenario that was mentioned in the replies was a homeless man or woman living in my walls and sneakily using the shower.

And though this seems to be half the case, I'm glad this was just an unwelcome stranger and not someone that was living in my walls. OP, while reading this story, I was developing like five different theories in my head about what could have caused this, but this explanation was actually not on my list. I'm really glad that this curveball ending happened to also be a happy ending. That was our Slash Relationship Advice, and if you liked this podcast, then be sure to follow me because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.