rSlash - r/Relationships My Girlfriend Wants My $400,000

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice In today's episode, OP makes a lot of money and wants to get married to his girlfriend. He has about $400,000 saved up, but his girlfriend doesn't want to sign a prenup. Then, something unexpected happens... OP's girlfriend inherits $800,000 from a relative, and she insists that OP sign a prenup so that he can't get any of her money. Is this hypocrisy a red flag? Be sure to follow for more daily Reddit content! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash relationship advice. When I was 23, I'm now 28. I was engaged to Ryan. He was 32 at the time and now he's 37. Our engagement ended when my step-sister, Kelly, who was 24th at the time, begged me to leave him because they loved each other. But Ryan was too afraid to break up with me because he didn't want to hurt me or my family. When I could front at Ryan about it, he denied it and said that she'd been trying to come onto him for some time and he never mentioned it because he didn't want to ruin our relationship. He begged me not to believe her and so we continued how we were.

Kelly grew resentful and made nasty comments about how I was forcing a man who didn't even love me to marry me because I had low self-esteem constantly. A month later, she sent me a video of them passionately hugging in my bed and multiple screenshots of him telling her he loved her, how he was she was the girl he was marrying, how he hated that I wouldn't let them be together. I was devastated and angry, but my best friend convinced me to not go nuclear on them, and instead to quietly move out when Ryan was at work the next week. So that's what I did. I contacted my dad and my stepmom and asked him if I could move in temporarily. I removed the money that I contributed into our joint account for wedding expenses and

transferred the rest to him before closing the account. Once I got settled in, I sent all the screenshots that she had sent me to all of her relatives and his. Ryan tried to get back together with him multiple times, but I ended up blocking him when I found out that he had proposed to her with the same ring he gave me. I left it behind. Now, Kelly is my step-sister for my mom's side. I have another step-sister and step-brother for my mom's second marriage and a half-sister. They all went to the wedding. Whenever I tried to express that I was

hurt by the fact that they were just supporting Kelly and Ryan as though that what they did meant nothing to me, they would shrug it off and say they couldn't cut them out completely because they were a family. I haven't spent a single holiday with my mom's side since. Neither has my older biological brother or sister. I only see my mom and half sister when I invite them over to my place since Kelly and Ryan moved in with my mom and my stepdad a year after they got married. Our relationship is very rocky, but I've grown closer to my dad and stepmom and their children, who have all been very supportive since this all happened, so it's not all been bad. I got a new boyfriend, and on New Year's Day he proposed to me. We had a small engagement party which I invited my mom and half sister to. They never turned up because I was, quote, excluding half of our family. I never invited my stepdad or step siblings because they were pretty hurtful when it came

out that Kelly and Ryan were sleeping together. They claimed it wasn't their fault that I got in the way of true love and made me out to be some sort of vindictive Disney villain for being angry with them. We were planning to have our wedding ceremony this summer, but in late February my husband suggested we postpone until next year because he was concerned COVID would get worse and would have to cancel our reschedule anyway. I ended up finding out I was pregnant a month before our original wedding date, so we had a courthouse wedding on that date with the plan to hold the ceremony next year.

Only my dad's side of the family were aware of both the pregnancy and the wedding. So, my stepmom likes to knit, and she's been making stuff for the baby. Recently, she posted about the things she made on Facebook with a caption talking about how excited she was to have another grandchild soon. I was tagged in the post. I have zero issues with the post. I never told my family that I wasn't going to inform my mom side. It wasn't that I intentionally hit it from her. She just never seemed very interested in my life or relationship, so I never brought it up. My mom called me an hour later to demand to know if I was pregnant and how she couldn't believe I hadn't told her she was finally going to be a grandmother.

She has since invited me and my husband over to her house multiple times. I've declined every single time for obvious reasons. My stepdad, who I've barely spoken to in five years has reached out to tell me how excited he is to meet the baby and my husband, and the same with my siblings. Even Kelly reached out to my husband to congratulate us. I was furious. The next time my mom and stepdad called me, I finally laid into them. I told them I didn't want them to keep inviting me over when they knew I would be forced to see Kelly and Ryan if I came. I told them how hurt and angry I stale him over what they did to me and how my family dismissed my feelings. I told them how they wouldn't throw Kelly and Ryan away, but they were so quick to leave me out to Rod while I was going through the worst betrayal I'd ever experienced in my

life. I told them I wasn't even sure I wanted people like them in my child's life. My mom was crying hysterically and kept saying I was being cruel and couldn't deprive her of her first grandchild. The thing is, my baby isn't her first grandchild. My sister has two adopted daughters already, whom my mom doesn't even try to bond with. She kept wailing about how I might be the only person in our family to give her grandchildren. My step-sisters are both having a hard time getting pregnant, and my half-sister has proclaimed

herself to be child-free. My step-dad got angry and defensive. He claimed I was petty for holding on to something that happened five years ago. He pointed out how I had found someone else, so I should understand how love works, and sometimes two people just can't help themselves. You love who you love, basically. He said Kelly and Ryan were happy together, so I should be happy for them the way that they're happy for me and my husband.

The ironic thing is, my sister told me that Kelly and Ryan looked like they were on the verge of divorce, and they argue constantly. My mom complains to her about them, and how my siblings all hate him, but pretend they like him for Kelly's sake. I ended up hanging up because I was so angry, and when I get angry, I start crying. I didn't want them to think that they got to me. Since then, I've been receiving texts and calls nonstop for my mom's family. They're all essentially telling me that I should be over things already. It's gotten

to the point that me and my husband have switched phones so he can screen my messages for me, and I don't have to read them. How do I make my family understand just how unforgivable what Kelly and Ryan did to me is. I would prefer not to go completely no contact, but is that my only option here? OP, I'm seeing some major red flags here. They keep complaining about what you did to them and not what they did to you. They've got this completely backwards and are actually like they did nothing wrong. Down in the comments, I'm going to agree with Lex Lilliam. Being over the relationship is not the same as being over the betrayal.

Yeah, and on top of that, you've also got the added layer of the fact that your family basically just threw you away in favor of your step-sister. So it's incredibly transparent that they chose their favorite and it's not you. Overall, OP, I would agree that going no contact might be a little bit extreme in this situation. But I think that your best last shot is to explain to them very clearly that what they did to hurt you, and that you can't move forward with mending these relationships unless they take some form of accountability for their actions. Maybe even show them this Reddit post and let them see how literally everyone in the

comments is agreeing how awful they are. We didn't realize we were supposed to get a gift for our dog, what our guy We almost forgot about our dentist, Dr. Kurt We didn't expect to get a gift from her Or our cousin, like again, his name He got us something nice, better as it per day For the last minute, it deals on gifts of people You forgot, get past the free shipping at Amazon These side marios, all you can eat Is all you can munch a soup, salad

Mmm, and garlic homo I'm a 14 year old boy to I call the police on my mom's hit and run my mom was driving me to school this week She was taking a turn and obviously wasn't looking because she took the turn white Whoa she was taking a turn and obviously wasn't looking because she took the turn white. Whoa, she was taking a turn and obviously wasn't looking because she took the turn white and hit a kid from school who was riding to the bike racks. He was in the other lane that goes the other way. Our car went over him and I heard him yell out.

I don't like know him, but he's in a different year than me. After that happened, mom just kept driving. I told her we need to call the police or ambulance or something. Mom just kept saying that he's swerved and hit her and that we don't call the police if we did nothing wrong. She told me to keep quiet and knows that I'll do the right thing. I saw a photo on Instagram of him in the hospital and he's all bruised and looks rough as guts. I've just been feeling really bad and it's like I can't eat and feel like throwing up. It's like mom did something really wrong and it feels really bad to not say anything. I wasn't even allowed to tell dad about it,

but him and mom are divorced and I'm not allowed to tell him lots of things. If I tell someone, mom will probably get arrested and then it'll be my fault. I don't know, and I want to stop feeling so bad. Do I tell on my mom or not? So first of all, OP, let's make one thing perfectly crystal clear. Nothing about what happened here is your fault. The fact that your mom is putting this weight on your shoulders is just disgusting. This is her fault, not yours. In any event, I'm going to read this reply from Toinkaus Ross, which I could not agree with more.

I'm on team tell your dad. This is too big for a 14 year old to deal with. And you need support around this that your mom is not capable of providing. Your dad needs to know all of this, including how you feel, and your mom is wrong to tell you not to seek his help. Oh man, OP, I actually had deposits recording, step away from my computer for a while, and actually think about what else you should do. I've been reading through the comments, and people are really hesitant to tell you to report your mom because that's a huge thing to do. But after thinking about this long and hard, yeah, I actually think that you should report your mom.

My reasoning for that is that we know that your mom is a type of person who will run over a child and just keep driving. And fundamentally, at the end of the day, that is not a person that we want raising you, OP. I mean, we've also got the added complication of the kid who being run over deserving some sort of justice here, but at the end of the day, I don't think it's right for anyone on Reddit or YouTube to say that the responsibility falls on this 14-year-old boy's shoulders to provide that justice. So since he's a child himself, all we can

say is that he needs to make a decision to protect him. And in my personal opinion, and a lot of people will probably disagree with me down in the comments. I think that what OP's mother did makes her no longer suitable to raise OP. She performed a violent felony and then is telling her kid to keep it secret which in my opinion is literal child abuse. Yeah, I think you should report your mom OP. I'm a 33 year old male and my 36 year old fiance didn't want to sign a prenup with me.

Got an inheritance and now wants a prenup. A little background here is that I make around $250,000 a year. My fiance makes around 65K a year. We've both been divorced. I asked for a pre-knop protecting my existing assets. Two rental properties worth around 400k together. My retirement account, my house which I live in, my existing savings account, and just sentimental things. I offered to pay for a lawyer for and make everything earned after the wedding fair game in a divorce split. In my previous divorce, my ex took a lot that I had before we ever even met each other

and took a lot of things with sentimental value just to hurt me. I floated the idea of a prenup and she was not okay with it. It hurt her feelings and she said I was planning for a divorce if I want to prenup. She had this idea that when we marry, everything becomes ours. We've been dating for four years and had very few bumps, so I don't see a super high risk of divorce, but I do acknowledge it's there. Anyways, I love her, and I said sure. Fast forward a couple of months, and her grandmother abruptly died.

It wasn't expected. Her grandmother was quite healthy before. She had a heart attack. Apparently, the grandmother left the entire estate to her worth roughly $800,000. Now the tables have turned and she wants to pre-knop protecting these assets from me which I was fine with. But she doesn't want to sign my pre-knop in return for that. Her reasoning is that her grandmother wouldn't have wanted her well to leave her direct family,

and that there's a reason it was all left to me and not my siblings or parents. And that the prenup must not have been important to me because I threw out the idea after the minimal pushback. I'm at a loss here. In one regard, I'm glad we had prenup discussions because it brought out these sides of us. But I'm really wondering if this four-year relationship that's been full of nothing but love and support for each other until now is even salvageable. She's not willing to budge on her own prenup like I was, and I'm finding this whole situation

very frustrating. Opie, your girlfriend's attitude is very simple. What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine. This woman is a great, a hypocrite, and it's time to draw a line in the sand. Either both of you sign the others pre-nup or none of you sign a pre-nup. I'm a 33 year old guy and my 32 year old wife said her ex's name while we were passionately hugging. My wife and I have been married for four years and we have a two year old. We dated on and off for three years before getting married. Last night she said her ex's name while we were passionately hugging.

She gave some weird excuses to why. She said it's a common name and admittedly it is, and she must have heard it recently. I wasn't going to start a big argument with her at the time, and it since gotten me worried about why she did that. For some background, this was a guy she was with for a couple of years before I met her. They met in college and were serious for some time. They had broken up when I met her and decided they were better as friends. They were friends for years before they dated. We started dating, but he remained in the picture. He was her best friend first and foremost, and I begrudgingly went along with it for several months past, and

I put my foot down saying it's too uncomfortable for me. There were some resistance but she stepped back from him. Every time we broke up, she was with him. We finally reconciled and got engaged. He apparently didn't know this and stopped talking to her. She was devastated, which should have been a red flag. We talked about it and she was happy to have chosen me. Now after this happened, I'm tempted to see if she's gotten back in contact with him again.

I know she's checked in on a social media because I saw the searches on the laptop. She doesn't know I know that. I don't think she'd cheat, but this guy was always different for her. Do I just confront her? Do I start going through her phone or am I being paranoid? And then Opie posted an update. Thank you everyone for your help and advice. I did my investigating before talking to her. I went through his social media first, but there was nothing explicitly saying anything was going on. There were a few mentions of his love in some comments, but that could

mean anything. I did look at the phone bill, and there looks to be calls with him pretty regularly. On to hers. I was able to get her phone when she was asleep. She must have forgotten I knew the code. There was nothing in the text and no weird calls, so she deleted them. I did find some apps that she tried to keep hidden like Snapchat and Kick.

Sure enough, there's their conversations, and pictures. She exploded when she had the conversation and left with our child to her mothers. I contacted a lawyer and I'm in the process of a divorce and figuring out custody. I'm heartbroken and I'm more angry than anything else. I'm angry at her, but I'm also angry at myself for dismissing so many red flags. That's rough, buddy. That was our Slash Relationship Advice, and if you liked this content, then be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.