rSlash - r/Relationships My Husband is a Secret Hoarder

Episode Date: July 4, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:08 Dirty secret 4:41 Parents 9:58 Family resources 14:48 Second chance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm Mike Barronholz. On my new show, Funny You Ask, Trivia starts the conversation, and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind-the-scenes moments that probably should have remained private.

You'll hear confidence, misplace confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barronholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to R-slash Relationships, where OP discovers her husband's disgusting secrets. Our next Reddit post is from Busy Cheesecake. I've known my husband and his family since high school, although we didn't start dating until about 12 years ago.

We've been married almost nine years. I knew he was messy, but always thought of him as being a clean person. He showers regularly, has good dental hygiene, etc. He's always had a storage bedroom wherever he lived, where he would store things and would use the excuse that he didn't have a garage or attic at the time to sort it out and store the items properly. I didn't think much of it until we built our forever home. It's a very large, home for two people. Five bidrooms, five bathrooms. But we have kids and grandkids, and we wanted the space for their visits. Anyway, he works from home and his office is upstairs, two bathrooms, plus a media room and a guest room that he uses when he stays up late working or playing video games, or he just doesn't want to wake me up. I rarely ever go upstairs because I don't want to bother him

when he's working. I have always offered to clean the two bathrooms upstairs for him and vacuum, but he says that he'll take care of it. Well, he recently had to have him. He recently had to have emergency surgery, and I wanted to make sure that he came home to a clean bedroom and bathroom. I went upstairs, and when I tell you that I literally cried at what I saw, my God, I had no idea. He has covered every square inch of the upstairs with junk. I mean junk. Stuff that's been in boxes for years is all over the place. You can't even see the top of his work desk because it's covered with random items he told me he'd gotten rid of a long, time ago. And the worst part were the two bathrooms. They were so dirty that I had to practically

chisel the dried poop off the toilets. It took me about four hours to clean two bathrooms and vacuum the upstairs. There was so much gunk on the bathroom mirrors that I had to spray them with several different cleaners and let it soak on there before they would finally come clean. And there was so much stuff on the counters that you couldn't even see the top of them. I cleared everything off and there was so much dust and dirt that you could write your name in it. I would venture to say that he has never cleaned them in the four years that we lived in this house. The day he came home from the hospital, he went upstairs to settle in. We decided he would sleep in the guest room so that I wouldn't disturb him while he's recovering. I told him to text me if he needed anything and I'd be

checking in on him regularly. Anyway, I expected a thank you for cleaning upstairs and instead he was actually mad. I told him we would talk about it later, as I didn't want to stress him out with him just getting home from the hospital. But I did tell him that he needed to consider seeing a therapist because what I saw was not healthy. He's been home two days now, and every time I look at him, all I can see is the poop-caped toilets. I am beyond disgusted. I don't know how to get past this. I feel like I don't even know him now. I knew that he was messy, but this is far beyond. anything I could have ever imagined. I don't know how to help him see that living like that is not okay. O.P., this sounds like a classic case of hoarding. This guy needs therapeutic intervention as soon as

possible. This reminds me of a house that I saw when I was house hunting many, many years ago. This house stuck out to me so much. The entire upstairs of the house, as in the ground floor and the second floor was the most grandma decorated house you could possibly imagine. Old-fashioned furniture with intricate woodwork and doilies everywhere and intricate china and dolls and like little figurines of children kissing each other and like angels with wings and just it was so cluttered with that grandma fashion stuff it felt claustrophobic. But then downstairs in the basement level, it was one the coolest man caves I've ever seen. It had like jukeboxes and sports jerseys and model cars and model airplanes and it was just absolutely bursting with all the cool stuff that a grandpa would

collect. And it was just the weirdest like upstairs is the most grandma feminine house imaginable and downstairs is the most masculine grandpa house imaginable. And it was just weird to me how two completely opposite styles could be only one flight of stairs away from each other, and that's kind of what's happening here. Opie's floor is neat and tidy, and the upstairs is a chaotic, disgusting mess. Our next Reddit post is from Throwaway Tiny Root. I'm a 19-year-old woman, and I was two when my parents divorced. They shared 50-50 custody of me, which means I spent equal time with my mom at her house and with my dad at his. When I was five, my mom met her husband and his daughters, who were one year old and one year younger than me. He also shared custody with their mom, and during their two years

of dating, we went a lot of places together so we could all bond. At the time, I told my mom that I felt like I was being excluded by his daughters, and it didn't feel like we were sisters. My mom told me that was my shyness talking, and she promised they would love me and that we'd be sisters. During the wedding, her husband's daughters pushed me into the drinks table and stepped on my dress, and when we were asked to take a photo together, they stepped in front of me so I couldn't be seen. When it was time for a photo of my mom and her husband and the three of us, they refused to stand in the middle with me. I think I spent most of the wedding in tears, and by the end of the night, my mom realized I was not getting over it super fast, and she told me not to stress because they were struggling with the wedding

because their mom wasn't happy, and we'd be back to normal when it was all over. But normal meant that my step-sisters walked out of the room whenever I came in it, or it meant that they made fun of me for things like my hair being frizzy, or because I had to take extra reading due to my learning disability. It also meant they would exclude me from games with kids in the neighborhood, and when we were set up to play games together, they would refuse to share with me. They used to argue with their dad over sitting next to me at dinner or in the car. They would actually lean into each other and away from me and would tell me not to touch them. My dad stepped in a lot to try to help me, but my mom wouldn't listen to him. He tried to change the custody days around so that I wasn't there when the girls were there, but the judge refused to grant that. One time, I got back to him, and they had stuck five pieces of gum in my hair, and he had to take me to get it all cut, which the girls mocked me for when I went back to my mom. My mom then accused my dad of being abusive and aggressive, because he yelled at her for doing nothing to protect me from the bullying. Other things they did was break or hide my stuff and they would steal stuff they knew that I really liked.

The younger girl stole my favorite dress and gave it to one of her friends. They would spill drinks on my homework when I was almost finished. They even did it to my laptop when I had almost all my assignments done and it was always intentional. Their dad never wanted to hear me talk about his daughters and my mom would keep telling me it was all going to be fine and they loved me but had a hard time showing it. One of the scariest things they did was when we were on vacation together five years ago. We were forced to go explore together and they abandoned me intentionally. They didn't want to hang out with me and I blame my mom most of all for what happened. But they really didn't care what happened to me. I was lost for the whole day and even when others started to

panic they gave zero cares about my safety. They were telling jokes about the fact that I might be dead, which they told me about and mom reluctantly admitted to. My dad brought that up in court, and it still wasn't enough to get full custody of me or change the days that I was there. What apparently did make a difference was my age and the fact that they locked me out of the house without my cell phone or anything when my mom and their dad were away for the weekend at a wedding. It was raining, and I had to sleep out there and everything. A neighbor saw me the next morning, and she let me into her house, and I called my dad that way, And yeah. Between that and my age when it happened, I was allowed to just outright live with my dad.

My mom cried at the time and asked to see me for lunch and stuff, but I told her no, and my dad told her to go eff herself. She went quiet for a few years, and now has apologized, and she's asked me for a second chance to have her relationship with me. But I don't know. She let me down so bad, and even if she is sorry, I don't know that I'll ever forgive her or to. trust her to want her in my life. Opie, as bad as your stepsisters are, your parents, as in your mom and stepdad, are a thousand times worse. They know that your stepsisters are bullying you. They know that they left you abandoned, presumably for dead, on vacation. And they decide, oh, let's go for a weekend marriage trip. I'm sure that the stepsisters will take care of O.P. while we're gone and that nothing bad will happen at all. They just don't care about you, O.P.

They say they do. They say, oh, we love each other. It'll all pass. but they just don't care. It's so weird that they would willingly subject O.P. to torture at the hands of her stepsisters when it seems based on the dad's behavior, the biological dad's behavior, the bio-dad would have been more than happy to have O.P.

So why force her to suffer when a completely safe alternative exists? I think the answer is because straight up they just literally don't care. O.P., I think the best thing you can do for your mental health and happiness is to cut that entire side the family off, go all in with your dad, and just move on with your life. Every interaction you have

with your mom, your stepdad, and your stepsisters are just going to be toxic, so just stop having those interactions. Our next Reddit post is from Pineapple. My parents divorced when I was five. I'm now a 34-year-old man. My dad cheated on my mom with the woman that he's now married to. She already had a daughter whom he later adopted. My sister and I are his biological children. I'm 34, my bio-sister is 36, and our step-sister is 38. Growing up, the favoritism was obvious. My stepmom and step-sister openly mocked my mom, and we were treated differently in ways that were hard to articulate as kids,

but impossible to ignore. My dad barely paid child support, and my mom had to take him to court multiple times just to get what she was owed. My sister, who took the brunt of the Cinderella treatment, stopped talking to him nearly 15 years ago. I've kept the relationship alive, though I don't fully know.

why. My step-sister went to a fairly expensive private college, dropped out, had a vagus wedding, both my sister and I were invited and attended. Got divorced, remarried, both my sister and I were not invited, and now lives in a beautiful home with her husband and two kids right down the road from my dad and stepmom. We've always assumed that my dad helped financially through all of it, but we've never had confirmation. Meanwhile, my sister and I paid for our own colleges, cars, and homes with the help from our mom when she could. Two years ago, my dad, probably drunk, texted me asking me how he could be a better father. A little late, pal.

The message caught me completely off guard because he's never acknowledged being anything less than amazing. I told him I was jealous of the relationship that he has with our step-sister, and the conversation basically fizzled out with zero follow-up. Recently, my fiancé and I closed on our first home, and we're in the middle of planning our wedding. He hasn't offered to help with either, which is fine. I stopped expecting anything a long time ago. What he did offer was to buy us groceries when he came out to visit. We live about five and a half hours away now. I hate to sound ungrateful because at its core, it's a nice

gesture, but knowing how much he's likely supported my step-sister financially over the years, it felt a little hollow. Still, I appreciate it. Free food is free food. That was until this week. He accidentally sent me a voice text that was clearly meant for someone else. In it, he talked about looking into an 11-day Viking cruise around Alaska with his wife, but then realized that it would be cheaper to take my step-sister, her husband, and their two kids to Thailand instead. The message was mostly him bragging about how much money he'd save and how fun the trip with the grandkids would be. I don't care about the money itself. I care about what it confirms. He's had resources this entire time and has quietly directed them towards the family he chose,

while my sister and I handled every major life milestone on our own. If he helped pay for her education, weddings, home, and family vacations while offering us a grocery run during our engagement and first home purchase, I honestly don't think I have anything left to say to him. My sister checked out 15 years ago and has always told me she's amazed that I kept trying. I think I finally understand where she was coming from. At this point, I don't even want an apology for myself, and I definitely don't want money, although it would be a great start. What I want is for him to apologize to my sister and my mom for how they were treated. But I know that's never going to happen.

The icing on the cake is that I still need to move the rest of my belongings out of my mom's house in another state. My dad offered to drive everything out in his truck this weekend, which I genuinely appreciated. But he also mentioned that he needs to get home early Sunday for a Father's Day brunch with his other family. A retired man that I see maybe twice a year can only spare a day and a half because he has to get back for brunch. But hey, at least he offered to stock our fridge. I'm honestly at a loss for what to say to him. I'm hurt, but buying a house has been exhausting and I'm completely burned out mentally. Part of me wants to ask directly whether he has financially supported my step-sister all these years. Another part of me feels like I already know the

answer and should stop hoping that he'll suddenly become a different person. So what would you do? Confront it directly or just let the relationship quietly fade. I'm in my 30s now and I don't think I have another chance left in me to give him. O.P., man, just cut the cord. People are so scared to cut off contacts with people. I've done it before. I've cut a person out of my life because of something scummy they did. And I've never talked to them, never reached out to them, never looked them up. It's actually really easy to do. You just block them and then live your life, man. You'll be happier without them. Our next Reddit post is from Throwaway Distincty. My dad died five years ago. For years before he died, he had so many issues with one of our neighbors. This guy blamed my dad for everything from his

divorce to him losing his job, to animals getting in his yard when we had no animals in our house. This guy despised my dad and was always horrifically abusive to him when my dad was alive. He even yelled stuff at me and my mom when dad died. So it was a big shock to me when I found out that my mom and that neighbor had a one-night stand two months ago. I was dropping stuff off for mom and he was sneaking out of the house really early. My mom broke down and begged me not to hate her for it, but I dropped the stuff and left without saying,

much because I was angry. We talked later and I asked her, was this a thing before? And she said no before I could finish. She said that it was one time and it would never happen again and she begged me not to hate her. Two weeks ago, she found out that she was pregnant from this guy. For context here, O.P. is a 19 year old woman and her mom is 43. I shut down when she first told me and my mom left me alone. But a few days later, she was telling me she needed me to move back in and help her raise this baby because the baby needs a family. I lost my temper at her and I said things that hurt her, but that I truly feel, like how I wasn't going to help her raise that dude's baby, and how I couldn't believe she would want to have his baby knowing how much he hated dad. I told her

that she clearly liked the guy and didn't give an F about my dad when she was talking like that. She said the baby isn't him, the baby will be our family. I told her I was never going to raise that baby with her, and I won't help her bring that dude into our lives. She asked me the next day, and I gave her the same answer. Then she got mad and started spewing hate about me to friends and family. She even tried to turn my dad's family against me. But once they talked to me and found out what was going on, they told her she should be ashamed, and they were crazy if she expected anyone who loved dad to act like she was reasonable. She even made social media posts about me and they're all so negative. She's been texting asking to speak to me and I've been ignoring her and dealing with stuff from her two best friends. They told me to stay out of my mom's love life and I told them that she should keep me out of her BS so I don't really know what to do from here. We were close before but I honestly want nothing to do with this. O.P. I hate that I have to point this out. but this is obviously not the first time they were together.

This was obviously not a one-night stand. They've probably been dating for a long time, and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they had a fling while your dad was alive. That would explain all the random hate between the neighbor and your dad. Still, it's just speculation, but regardless, why are you still talking to your mom? She sounds genuinely nuts and absolutely awful.

I'm guessing she wants to have the, baby so that she can baby trap the neighbor into a relationship and she wants you to care for the baby so that she can sneak out next door and eat some hot dog that was our slash relationships and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because i put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day hey all it's kelly clarkson with wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from wayfair with wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality you can trust visit wayfair. Wayfair, every style, every home.