rSlash - r/Relationships My Husband is Cheating with Multiple Girls

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:10 Secret life 5:31 Crossed the line 8:40 Bfs mom 13:50 Open relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our Slash Relationships, where OP finds out that our husband is cheating with five different women at the same time. Our next reddit post is from throwing away 10 years. I'm a 27 year old woman and my boyfriend is 28. We've been together for almost 10 years. We have three amazing children together, ages 7, 4, and 10 months old. We've basically grown up together. We're not legally married, but he did propose in 2018 right before we bought our house, and we've called each other wife and husband ever since. I'm not going to romanticize our relationship because it's far from perfect, but I always thought that we would be the couple to grow old together. He works a very demanding job
Starting point is 00:00:41 that my dad also had, so I know the hours are long. I've been a stay at home mom for almost 5 years and I homeschooled our kids. At first I stayed home because I was severely ill with baby number 2. I almost died, but then he asked me to stay home with our kids because it would be cheaper than daycare. This year he asked me to homeschool them as well. We've recently been in very rocky waters, as I've had a never ending list of expectations, and all he has to do is go to work. Because
Starting point is 00:01:11 of this, we've talked about separating for a few weeks now, but he doesn't want to disrupt our kids' routines. Well, then I get a text message from my cousin's ex-wife. She said that she needed to reach out to me, girl to girl, and sent me screenshots of my boyfriend on Tinder. The pictures he used were ones that we had taken a couple of days before, so I know that it wasn't an old profile. He used a different name, a name that we had agreed to use for a future baby if it was a boy. I, of course, thanked her, but I really didn't want to believe it. He always talked down on cheaters since his dad was a huge womanizer, and it caused a lot of trauma for him and his family.
Starting point is 00:01:51 So I made a catfish tender to see for myself. Well, I didn't have any luck, so I just pretended like nothing was wrong and went about our daily lives for a few days. It was extremely hard, especially because I'm not good at hiding my feelings at all, but I just couldn't stay in not knowing anymore. Yesterday, I made one of his favorite dinners and even made a pie so that he could go into a food coma and go to bed earlier. It worked. He was out by 830. I let my older kids stay up to watch a few movies so that bedtime was postponed while I snooped. I have never snooped in his phone before, or even had a reason to do so.
Starting point is 00:02:28 We both have each other's passcodes and we'll use each other's phones often. This is a line that I've always said can't be uncrossed. I found so much evidence. All in plain sight. Not much was hidden. No, Tinder wasn't on his phone, but he was texting three different phone numbers that were obviously girls from Tinder. They all called him by his fake name. They even sent pictures back and forth. I found at least four different Snapchat threads
Starting point is 00:02:56 that were him emotionally cheating with other girls, calling each other babe and honey bun, which is what he calls me. He was claiming that he's a single dad and the mom doesn't want anything to do with the kids. They shared explicit pictures. And when I thought that was everything, I found the hidden pictures folder. Not only does he have all the nude saved of these women, and pictures of me, but he also has a video of him receiving oral from one of these girls. This girl used his real name.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I used my phone to take pictures and videos of everything and sent them to my email. I'm not sure what to do with them yet, but I have them. Also, I checked out the dates and that video was taken a month after I gave birth. Oh, man. Oh, man, that's rough, that's brutal. I remember that that was one of the many times that he said that he was going out with the boys. He even texted me that night and told me how much he loved me and how he was going
Starting point is 00:03:56 to take me to breakfast in the morning. It's funny because I would cry to him around that time and ask if he wasn't in love with me anymore. I would cry and cry and he would hold me and say that he only loved me and that he could never hurt me like his dad hurt his mom. I can't sleep. I don't even know him anymore. I'm literally sick to my stomach. I vomited all throughout the night. But when he woke up this morning, I pretended like I was too tired to get up with him.
Starting point is 00:04:25 And the even funnier thing is that I have nothing, no money, no family to turn to, I own nothing on my own. We both share the house together. No credit cards, I've got bad credit, literally nothing. He doesn't have a lot of money either, or good credit, so I'm completely dependent on him. I'm not sure how long I can pretend like nothing is wrong, so I'm completely dependent on him. I'm not sure how long I can pretend like nothing is wrong, so I turn to you, Reddit. Please tell me what to do. Please give me any useful advice.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Opie, I can tell you exactly what to do. Take half your money put into an account, get tested for STDs, and dump them. I know that I'm saying this in a very flippant manner, and this is like someone's life that is getting destroyed here. But realistically when something like this happens, that's the only solution. It's hard, it's painful, you basically have to restart from scratch, but that's it, that's the solution. Or live in a resentful, unhappy, miserable marriage for the next like 30 or 40 years. Both options are gonna make you miserable, so if you're gonna be miserable, you may as well also be free. Our next reddit post is from last coyote. My wife and I have known each other for 10 years
Starting point is 00:05:34 and got married in 2018. We have very different lifestyles. She's a devout Mormon and I am not religious. We found some ways to make it work. It was a hard road, but there are some challenges still, but we still love each other very much. My wife has never met my biological mother. My parents were divorced long before I met her, and I broke off contact with my mom after I turned 18. My mother was extremely abusive towards me growing up.
Starting point is 00:06:03 She physically abused me and my sister regularly and tried to frame it on my father. She was also able to manipulate a doctor to give me multiple medications growing up and then she would just steal the medications. Her dirt boyfriend also tried to be abusive to me too. I cut my losses and stopped all contact with my mother and her family. So did my sister. My dad and my stepmom didn't approve of my wife at first because of her religion, but they get along now. When my wife asked me when she'd meet my mom, I told her she never would. I told her that she's a violent and terrible woman, and she has no place in my life, and I didn't want to be involved in our lives. I also told her not to contact anyone in my mom's family.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Recently, my mom showed up at my work, but she's not supposed to know where I work. Things got ugly, and the cops had to be called to remove her from the property. It was such an embarrassment. When I got home, I told my wife, and my wife just had this, oh no, look on her face. I asked her what that was about, and she confessed that she reached out to my mom and told her where I worked because my mom wanted to make amends. My wife believes that everyone deserves forgiveness and she doesn't believe that something could be unforgivable. I told her that she violated the one thing that I told her was out of bounds, and she didn't even tell me until things went south.
Starting point is 00:07:30 She, of course, has been apologetic, and I told her that we'd get there, but I needed to get through it. I've been sleeping in my home office, and we've barely spoken since then. We're supposed to travel to her parents for things giving, but I'm really considering staying home with the dogs so that I can sort myself out. I'm not sure how to get over this. Also, to be clear, she's fully aware of what my mom did to us. Opie, God, I don't know if there is a way to get past this, or if I ran your shoes, if I would even want to. I can't tell what's worse, violating the one and only boundary your partner has ever set for you, or inviting an abuser back into your loved one's life. And she did both.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Man, how do you even move forward from this? Because she did the worst thing possible. I guess you could say that it can't get any worse than this, because she's already done the worst thing, so everything else else is just gonna see minor in comparison Man OP it's sad because it sounds like you're in a loving relationship and you still care for her a lot It's just I really don't know if there's any coming back from this our next reddit post is from peachy cat Jess I'm a 26 year old woman and my boyfriend is 28. I recently went on a 12 day trip to Japan with my boyfriend and his mom. Me and my boyfriend have been together for less than two years.
Starting point is 00:08:50 I already told my boyfriend from the beginning that I wasn't comfortable traveling with his mom as she has a strong attitude and I knew that we would clash. He bought my ticket anyways and told me that he wanted me to experience Japan as well and that his mom would most likely do her own thing. I bought my ticket anyways and told me that he wanted me to experience Japan as well and that his mom would most likely do her own thing. This was my first trip out of the country and it was also going to be my birthday. When we got on the bus to our hotel room, it's common manners to be quiet and no one was talking.
Starting point is 00:09:17 When we politely asked my boyfriend's mom to lower her voice, she's like, why do I have to follow the rules? So what? This irritated me because this isn't our country and we should be respectful. We went to a fancy mall where my boyfriend and I have no interest in anything since we couldn't afford it. So we told his mom to take her time looking around and shop for whatever she wants. So we leave her and we're kind of looking around in the same vicinity and my back starts killing me due to all the standing and walking we've done.
Starting point is 00:09:48 We go to a cafe and buy a small peach juice. My boyfriend's mom saw that we were at the cafe, and she got mad at us that we didn't ask her if she wanted anything when we were only there to sit down. So she stormed off and went back to the hotel on her own. At this point, I don't talk to her anymore unless she also talks to me. I just left her alone and let her talk to her son and gave them space whenever I could. I finished cleaning my laundry in the bathroom and lay down on my bed. Out of nowhere, his mom starts screaming in tagalog.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Turns out, my boyfriend let her know that his luggage space wouldn't be able to fit her stuff, and that she needs to be careful of how much she buys so that it all fit in. Mind you, we all have our own carry on and large check-in bag because we all wanted to buy stuff in Japan. She goes off on him, telling him that he's gonna have bad karma, but it's literally his own luggage. And if she needs to, she could just buy more luggage or ship something. I felt bad because my boyfriend started buying less stuff and I offered to put his stuff
Starting point is 00:10:49 in my luggage as well. She also said that we've been selfish for not wanting to go where she wants to go. Except we have been going to the stores that she wants to go to. I keep asking my boyfriend if they want to leave and have mother-son time while I do my own thing. Also three months before this trip, me and my boyfriend plan to go to Universal and Disney Sea, but we never got a chance to go. His mom just screamed like a child for the entire trip, and when she's not screaming, she'll
Starting point is 00:11:17 just huff at us or mutter something under her breath. I found out that she usually travels with my boyfriend, her other son, and her husband, but she's now divorced. My boyfriend has told me that he places his mom first before me. He does treat me like a princess carrying my bags, going where I want if I ask and doing all the navigation. So I understand how his mom is used to being the number one princess, and with me around, she doesn't get her usual treatment. So during this trip, she ended up throwing a fit. As we were getting seated on the airplane to go back, she got in my face in front of
Starting point is 00:11:52 everyone, angrily pointing at me and saying that if I want my boyfriend, I can have him. She said that it's a competition between me and her for her son, that I've been hogging him this whole trip. I didn't say anything back because I was literally in shock and I don't want to riler up more. I cried the whole five hours back to LAX. My boyfriend didn't defend me and didn't comfort me. I was supposed to go back home with them, but I'm so thankful that my friend was able to come pick me up instead. Because my boyfriend's mom was still mad after the plane ride. I wasn't able to fully enjoy my Japan trip because
Starting point is 00:12:30 I was always walking on egg shells and I didn't get to celebrate my birthday. Should I just break up with my boyfriend because of his mom? Well, no, OP, I don't think you should break up with your boyfriend because of his mom. I think you should break up with your boyfriend because of your boyfriend You said you didn't really want to go to Japan and he bought you tickets anyways This guy is so stupid Selfish delusional. I don't know what the word is he's so he's so dumb that he thinks the way that someone wants to spend their birthday is with their In-laws the entire trip he put someone else in front of you on your birthday,
Starting point is 00:13:06 and then he didn't even come for you after his mom blew up on you. Opie, all right, your boyfriend needs to cut the umbilical cord, and if he's not going to just move on. You know, I don't necessarily blame a guy for saying that he puts his mother above his girlfriend, because, you know, if you got a brand new girlfriend, I think most guys would probably put their mother over their new girlfriend. And at some point, I guess, you know, one, two, three, four, five years down the road, at some point, the girlfriend becomes the number one girl and that guy's heart. But there's a difference between loving your mom a lot and treating your girlfriend like trash.
Starting point is 00:13:41 It's possible to love your mom and also love your girlfriend, but this guy only loved his mom and didn't really care about his girlfriend at all. Our next ridot post is from throwaway. I'm a 34 year old woman and my husband is 35. We've been together for 14 years. We have a seven and a three year old together. Three years ago, my husband got, well, I don't wanna say bored,
Starting point is 00:14:02 but I'm not sure what else to call it. So after a while, mostly begging on his part, I agreed to bring in a third person into our marriage, Harper a 25 year old woman. My husband knew Harper before this. She's been his sister's friend for like three years. I love Harper, she's crazy sweet, the kids lover, we do girls trips, split everything 50-50, go shopping. But my husband most definitely prefers Harper.
Starting point is 00:14:30 He pushes her to exercise, to diet, to dress pretty, but she's also the first person that'll text if he gets good or bad news. She's also the first one that'll greet when he gets home. They go on dates once a week. My husband said that it's because Harper insisted, but I didn't. I confronted my husband, and he said that he just feels like there's more intimacy with Harper, and like she's his best friend. I pointed out that I'm the mother of his children. He used to say that I was his best friend. He said that he loves both of
Starting point is 00:15:01 us, but feels this warmth when he thinks of Harper. Harper doesn't leave me out of anything. She's always going out of her way to include me, to spoil the kids, and to make sure that everything is equal. I don't know what to do, because I love Harper. I just want my husband to need me like he used to. I want to be my husband's favorite. Well, OP, if it's an open relationship, why not just get a boyfriend?
Starting point is 00:15:26 Then you can be numero uno with your new guy. That was our Slash Relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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