rSlash - r/Relationships My Husband is in Love w/ His STUDENT

Episode Date: April 27, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 In love with a student 5:23 Bathroom breaks 8:15 Bad dad 10:42 Secret family Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamblingcom, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Welcome to r slash relationships, where OP's husband is in love with one of his students. Our next Reddit post is from nofaithlessness. My husband is in love with one of his students. Our next reddit post is from NoFaithlessness. My husband is in love with his students.

I have no effing idea what to do. My husband and I, who are both 35, met in college. We fell in love and got married 8 years back. I gave birth to our daughter in 2020. My husband is a professor at his medical school. He's a doctor himself. My friend, Sarah, also works in the same college and she works in the same department as my husband. A few months back, Sarah took me out for lunch and told me that she suspected something is

going on between my husband and his medical student who's 25. She claimed that she had seen each of them giving yearning looks to one another. She said that she's known my husband for so long and she's never seen him talk to any other woman like this. That he had been aloof around women all these years but it's just different with this one girl. At that moment, I laughed at her face. I remember telling her that she was jumping to conclusions based on these supposed yearning looks.

She said, That's why I didn't tell you before. I was confused too. It's not like he goes out of his way to talk to her, but whenever they do talk, it's like watching a slow burn romance movie. She looks at him like he's Brad Pitt, and he looks at her the way he used to look at you. I remember her exact words because they stung. Internally,

I was breaking down. Externally, I just smiled and told her that she's probably overthinking. That night, I casually mentioned this to my husband. I was laughing at the absurdity and I expected him to join in and deny the wild possibility that he's in love with the student. But he didn't. Instead, he looked at me, all teary-eyed and said, I'm sorry. I can't get her out of my mind. I've tried. Trust me. I should have told you sooner, but I thought that I could save our relationship. I really wanted to. I asked him if he'd cheated on me and he said no. He said he didn't even talk to her, nor did they have any contact outside of college

and that he completely understood how morally depraved it is to try to pursue a relationship with a student. She wrote him a letter about a year back confessing her love for him and he told her that even though he was into her nothing would ever come of it. Apparently that's when the yearning looks started. I honestly don't remember how I reacted then. I think I just started packing and then left to live with my parents and took my daughter. I've been living with my parents ever since then. Half of me wanted him to come and beg for forgiveness, but he never did. He comes to sometimes spend time with his daughter, but that's it.

He never talks about the elephant in the room, nor do I bring it up. I keep checking that girl's social media. She's insanely beautiful, almost doll-like and intelligent. I can't help but think that someone like him should be with someone like her. He's always been very good looking and I am more of a plain Jane. I don't know what to do. What do I even tell people? I don't know who I am without him.

Some part of me still wants him to come back. Then two days later OP posted an update. The day I made the post, I met up with Sarah for dinner. I thanked her for telling me about my husband and the student and also for being such a good friend. I asked her about my husband. She said there's nothing unusual. He's a bit withdrawn and aloof with everyone lately, but that's about it.

Yesterday, I went back to my house unannounced. He was there alone in his office. I told him I wanted to talk. He said that he would explain everything. So apparently, this woman has had a crush on him for the past two years. Her friends ship her with him. She would stare at him during her rotations and would blush whenever he looked or talked to her.

Back then, he didn't think much of it. Many girls have had crushes on him and he always ignored it. About one and a half years ago, they were in the same research group thing. Because of this, they had to spend some time working together and it was then that he started noticing her. He went into detail about how he was impressed with her intelligence, blah blah blah, and her beauty, blah blah blah. The moment he realized that he had a crush on her, he dropped out of the research

thing. This was a year ago. A few weeks later, she gave him the letter confessing that she had feelings for him. The first thing he told her after reading it was, you can get into trouble because of this, but she didn't care. She wanted an answer. Is it all in my head? She asked, to which she replied, it's not just in your head, but nothing can come of it. I hope you understand.

That was the last time they interacted. According to him, the yearning looks that Sarah described were more like awkward eye contact. He told me that even though he's still attracted to her, he has no intention of pursuing any sort of relationship with her regardless of whether we stay together or not. He said that he's willing to change his job and go to therapy. I told him to give me some time to think about it. And that's why I've decided to go ahead with the divorce.

I don't think that I can trust this man again. And a relationship without trust isn't something that I'm interested in. I've told my parents about it. They're not exactly on board, but they're still supportive. I've contacted my divorce lawyer. It's going to be a long process. Our next Reddit post is from Bathroom Break. My husband is in the bathroom all the time and it's affecting our relationship. I'm a 35 year old woman and he's 38. So the title basically sums it up. My husband is ALWAYS in the effing bathroom.

For hours sometimes. He says it's not because he's scrolling on his phone but I have trouble believing him. I asked him to go without and he refuses. He says his bowels move really slowly and when he's in there he's in his own world. One time I fell and broke my wrist and I called for him for almost 40 minutes to come help to no avail. We've recently had a baby and every single time the baby cries he goes to the toilet. It always falls on me. If I'm breastfeeding and he's in the bathroom when someone comes to the door, I have to stop to open the door. He

can't because he'll lose concentration when he's in the zone. Those are his exact words. I know this feels ridiculous and fake, but I swear that it isn't. I've talked to him, but he just doesn't see it. He says that it's his biological need and he can't do anything about it. I just can't stand it anymore. Oh, and have I mentioned that we only have one bathroom? I've had to do my business in the sink more times than I'd like to admit. I get so mad I want to call it quits. I swear. What can I do to call it quits, I swear!

What can I do to make him understand? Also OP adds an edit. He's done this ever since he was a kid. His dad used to do it before him too, which my mother-in-law confirmed. So I highly doubt that it's an adult video addiction, drugs, or cheating, which is why I don't know how to handle this. He says he doesn't know any better. If I make him leave the toilet, he has to go back a few minutes later because he wasn't

done. The phone has only made it worse because it provides entertainment so he takes even longer. I've asked him to go to a doctor and therapy, but no luck. Okay, we've all had moments in our lives when we've been glued to the toilet for 30 minutes plus. You know, your intestines aren't really having a good day and you're just stuck on the toilet for a while. I personally can't stand that because sitting on the toilet for so long is really, really uncomfortable on my legs. I don't know if this is like a me thing or

for other people as well, but I don't know how people stand it. So the idea that this guy is sitting on a toilet for hours a day is crazy. How can he even stand after that? This guy either needs a doctor or a bathtub full of fiber or a therapist because I think there's a decent chance that he's just using this as an excuse to avoid his family. Ovi, I admire the loyalty though. If I left my wife to crawl on the floor with a broken wrist for 40 minutes and to pee in the sink, I'd be looking at divorce papers, man. That's crazy. Our next Reddit post is from Wintershop. I'm a 22 year old woman and my husband is 29. He keeps telling me to come to Reddit about our argument. So here I am. Do all men feel

the way my husband feels? I'm a 22 year old woman and I've been with my partner who's 29 for 3 years and our daughter is 4 months old. He makes sure to let me know how lazy I am, even though I'm the only one to care for our daughter or clean our house. He works a lot and when he comes home, he spends a couple of hours on the game and he might hold our daughter for a couple of minutes. He says that since I'm staying home caring for our infant alone, I should have dinner made, the dogs and the pigs should be fed and watered obviously and walked, trash should be burned, dishes should be cleaned, floor should be swept and mopped. I should also clean his other kid's room.

Every surface wiped down. He says that there are gender roles and this is what a woman should do to keep her man happy. According to him, I don't deserve to be loved on until I finish the chores and put the baby to sleep by myself and made sure that he feels loved and cared for. Our daughter won't take a bottle and he won't help me with bottles so I can't go back to work, but I'm also not helping financially. He doesn't stay up with our daughter. If I don't initiate intercourse, we don't have intercourse. He straight up said that he won't touch me in ways that please me because he's not in high school.

I feel crazy. He's obsessed with the concept of disrespect. Everything I do is disrespectful. If the dishes aren't clean, if the floors aren't mopped, if I leave little trinkets around the house, if I started projects that I didn't get to finish and forgot about when the baby woke up, or if the baby's been a little fussy and I'm feeding her when he gets home, then I'm a fat lazy waste of space and why didn't I get anything done today?

I don't text him throughout the day telling him sweet little nothings, so I must not love him. I can't choose between being a mom and a partner even though sometimes I have to because my daughter isn't capable of caring for herself. It's like he's mad that I can't be his mother for him, right? So Reddit, what do you guys think? Please be honest because he will absolutely be saying every word. OP, it sounds like you don't love or even like your husband.

And it sounds like he doesn't love or even like you either, so why are you two together? This is one of the most clear-cut cases of, girl, divorce this guy and move on with your life stories I have ever seen. Our next reddit post is from throwawaypurplebanana. I'm a 34 year old woman and my life is falling apart and it's all thanks to my husband. We had a perfect life. Both of us worked in the jobs we loved and we have a beautiful 10 year old daughter and a healthy 5 year old son.

When I was pregnant with our son, me and my son both almost died due to complications. So before the birth and even afterwards, I didn't want to passionately hug. Why would I? I almost died and my body was in pain for months afterwards, even with strong medication. I thought my husband understood because he never pushed me for intercourse or even asked. I thought that was because he understood my pain, but apparently he was just getting it from somewhere else. A few months ago, we were visited by Child Protective Services. I was terrified at first, frantically thinking of what we did wrong with our children to

cause a visit. But no, turns out some woman I've never met before died in a car accident leaving behind a daughter. And my husband's name was on the girl's birth certificate and he was named in the woman's will as the father. I thought that it was a mistake at first, until my husband told me the truth. As it turns out, while I was suffering my pregnancy and the after effects of almost dying, my husband would go to a woman that he knew at work and get it off with her.

He said this as if he had done me a favor! Well as the CPS worker explained to us, my husband is her closest living relative who can care for her. He said this as if he had done me a favor. Well, as the CPS worker explained to us, my husband is her closest living relative who can care for her. The woman's family apparently want nothing to do with this poor little girl. When she asked us if we wanted to take her in, I said yes. Yeah, I know this might be the true cause of all my issues, but my husband pawned that poor girl off to live with her single mother for five years. He doesn't get to pawn away his daughter when she needs help.

She's his responsibility, so now she's ours too. I told him that I'll help take care of the necessary visits for wellness checks and help with whatever CPS wants us to do. All he had to do was explain the situation to our kids. The fact that I'm saying this tells you what he did. Yep. Nothing. We had to clean out one of our rooms and buy new furniture and even look for some toys. Our children go to a private school, so I picked up more hours at work to be able to afford her tuition. I was the one who had to tell

our extended families about this new daughter because he didn't want to. I did almost all the heavy lifting. So color me shocked when his daughter finally joins our family two weeks ago and the first words out of our kid's mouth was, who's that? Yeah, I was the one who had to tell our children's school, extended family, family doctors, and my workplace about my husband's affair and subsequent addition to our family. But he couldn't tell our kids because he was too ashamed to face them. So guess who was the one who had to explain that our kids have a new sister now all while I'm

trying to settle this poor girl into her new home and room? And shocker, our kids didn't take the news well because it was happening all right in front of them. My daughter was screaming crying which caused the other two to cry. A situation which could have been avoided if my husband had just done the one thing I asked him to and explained the situation to them sooner. It's been two weeks of her living with us and the situation hasn't improved. My husband has not picked up the slack that comes with having a new addition to the family

so we're struggling right now to make ends meet. I feel embarrassed bringing all three kids to appointments and groceries because the little girl is very much obviously not mine and I can tell that people are judging our family. My daughter is much moodier and less happy and refuses to even acknowledge our new addition to the family. Our son doesn't really understand what's going on and it's causing him to lash out. And I don't even know how to help this poor little girl because if I feel like my life

is falling apart, she must feel even worse. I've suggested family therapy, therapy for our kids, even just marriage therapy so that we can hopefully move past this and work together as a unit for the kids. He refused everything saying that he knows he'll be lectured by everyone when all he was trying to do was help me. I don't know how to fix this. Please help me. I don't want to divorce him because I know that'll make it worse for the kids, but that's

the only option my family is telling me. Meanwhile, his family is begging me to make this work and to just look past it. Yo OP, I can't even fad them why you aren't considering divorce here. Your husband is a cheater, a liar, a manipulator, lazy. He makes absolutely no contribution to the family. It genuinely seems from this post like he hasn't lifted a single finger to raise this daughter of his. I have to wonder if that's also the situation with the other two kids.

OP, man, you sound like a really nice person. Like you have a big heart, you're caring, you're very resourceful and hardworking. You just, man, you deserve so much better than this guy. Please just get rid of him. That was r slash relationships and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.