rSlash - r/Relationships My Husband is Stalking Our Boss's Daughter

Episode Date: November 25, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:11 Obsession 14:35 Divorce Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:01:06 For some context, I'm a 29 year old woman and my husband is 34. We both work for a small company here that we were both recommended through a relative of mine. I've been working here for about six years. My husband for about seven years. During our time working there, our boss would occasionally bring
Starting point is 00:01:22 his then teenage daughter to work. She would have been about 15 years old the first time my husband met her. He had her interact with the employees and stuff to show her what we were doing, how things work, etc. Fast forward to January of this year. Arboss brought his daughter in officially, letting us know that she'll be taking over a good deal of his work overlooking things. We were initially hesitant, considering that she was so young, just recently turned 20 this year.
Starting point is 00:01:47 But ultimately, she wasn't taking over, more so learning how to handle the business while the boss managed other work, I suppose. It also helped that she herself was very keen on cooperating and taking advice, often holding meetings to discuss things and making sure that she herself was the last person to leave work almost every time. Overall, she's been doing great. The issue started a few months after she started working here. She would occasionally hold office events just to lighten the mood, and this earned her
Starting point is 00:02:16 a lot of praise from all of us, since it's not something the old boss would have time to look into. We were all talking about her, so it didn't feel too weird at first when my husband joined in on praising her. How impressive it is that she's so young but mature. She's been a breath of fresh air in the office. Everyone so motivated to work because of her, etc. In hindsight, I think that this was my husband's excuse of talking about her with me in general. Every now and then, he'd start singing her praises when we were at home. A huge talking point for him was how she's so mature for her age and understanding, even pointing out that we weren't that mature at that age. I didn't take it much to heart, until one time I joked that it was fine if
Starting point is 00:02:59 he was immature at times, and I would still love him regardless. And his response was something along the lines of, well you were immature too, unlike her. I think this was the first time I felt a bit bad because it was like he was actually comparing me to her now. But I try not to think about it too much. This slowly spiraled, going from talking about her maturity to her looks, how she can still look good while being so busy with studies and work, and how she, and I quote, was definitely more girly compared to other girls. And one time, out of insecurity, I asked if he thought that she was prettier than me. He gave a, of course you're attractive to me, but objectively, like not considering
Starting point is 00:03:43 my attraction to you, she's prettier. This messed me up for a while, and we ended up having a fight where I essentially banned him from bringing her up with me if it wasn't work related. Also, adding to the issue was the fact that my husband started taking extra work every now and then, and working overtime. And while I initially thought that it was just our extra money, I later found out that it was simply because he knew that she usually hits home late too. Usually, after most, if not all office employees left. Fast forward to a few days back. It was the weekend,
Starting point is 00:04:15 my husband was out with his friends, and my laptop was getting repaired, so I used his laptop without his permission. We're relatively free with each other's devices, like we never had a reason to use each other's devices before, but for some reason we did, the other didn't mind, so I didn't think much of it. When I opened this PC on the left quick access bar, there was a folder with our boss's daughter's name. I had to click it, and when I did, I actively couldn't believe what I was seeing. A folder with, oh geez, low ease, a folder with over 1000 pictures of her. Screenshots from Instagram and other apps, any and every picture he could find of her, and an insane number of pictures just taken without her consent. Like either with a hidden camera or his phone at the office, ranging from her just sitting
Starting point is 00:05:08 or working to some from a high enough angle to get cleavage or downblouse, and even a few pictures from under the table, though they didn't have anything to show from what I'd seen. This completely creeped me out since it was almost impossible for me to place my husband, who I've always known as the sweetest guy for the six years that we've been married as someone who would do something like this. I was just shocked and I just didn't know how to react if I should feel disgusted or sad or angry.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I didn't know. But then it got worse. I used the search function to look up her name on his laptop and found something that basically turned any form of sorrow or sadness that I would have felt into just pure disgust. He basically had a poorly hidden folder deep inside a number of other folders that was full of Photoshopped pictures of her. Some solo, some with him, some with other members of the office, and some were just absolutely vile and disgusting. I deleted all traces of me having seen or searched for those names, though I doubt that it was necessary since my husband isn't the most tech savvy to begin with.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I also took a picture of some of the stuff that I found on the laptop. I was furious, but I also didn't want him to know yet. So I acted normal that night, and then the next day I called up my cousin, who's pregnant and her husband was away, and asked if she needed help. I used that as an excuse to move in and help her for a bit. I've talked to my husband mostly through texts and occasionally at work, but for the past four days I've been living with my cousin. Honestly, I'm disgusted, but I also don't know what to do exactly.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Like, I feel a mixture of being cheated on, which I know he didn't do anything with her, but still, I can't explain it. But, on top of that, I feel disgusted that my husband was this sort of man. But, even talking about it to my friends or family feels weird, I tried to share with my cousin, but the embarrassment didn't allow me to say anything. I just don't know what to do right now. I can't stay with my cousin forever. I'll have to move back sooner rather than later, but I also don't think that I can just go back home and pretend that none of this happened, or that I didn't see any of this. So what do I do? And then OPPO sent an update.
Starting point is 00:07:27 I ended up telling my cousin. We went back over to my place around 4pm, knowing we'd have a few hours to collect whatever we needed. I made sure to copy everything on the two folders into a flash drive, and I took a video of it being from his laptop too, in case that was something needed. Then, as another comment suggested, we searched for my name, which came out with nothing but regular pictures and stuff. After that, my cousin asked me to look up other co-workers' names, and when I did, that came back with a couple of results with four other co-workers' names. All of them women, but none of them to the same extent as the boss's daughter.
Starting point is 00:08:03 All of these pictures were hidden away in some way, like 8-9 folders deep. We made copies of those too. Then, my cousin pointed out that some of the files might be files that he received, because the file names were different, and some of the file names were similar to WhatsApp file names. This is something I hadn't noticed, but the edited files were definitely named differently. Something like the woman's name plus a descriptor that I can't say on YouTube. And then others just being something like image-number and then WA0014 or something like
Starting point is 00:08:38 that, which my cousin said are pictures that he received in WhatsApp. We checked the picture information and we confirmed that indeed they were received in WhatsApp. We checked the picture information and we confirmed that, indeed, they were received from WhatsApp. This ultimately made me do something that I shouldn't have done since it could have blown up in my face. But it made me anxious and I needed answers. Oh, hold on, I made a mistake in reading this. OP didn't tell her cousin, she told a couple of friends. Okay, so she's not here with her cousin, she's here with some girlfriends who had her back. So I asked my friends if they would stay
Starting point is 00:09:09 till my husband gets back. They agreed and I decided to take that time to pack my bags, just necessary things for now. My friends did say that he logged into Facebook but they didn't want to check his Facebook without me and by the time they told me that, it was already time for him to come back, so we decided not to do anything. We waited and waited until he finally came back.
Starting point is 00:09:30 He was surprised to see us, but didn't seem to suspect anything, and I told him to sit down. He did, and I think that's when he noticed his laptop on the couch and asked what was going on. I told him I saw some things related to the boss's daughter and I wanted an explanation. He tried to get angry at first, but quickly dropped the act. I told him I wanted to hear what he had to say and then decide what to do. He said that he was fine talking to me, but only if my friends waited in another room because he wanted to explain things to me alone. My friends were hesitant, but I told him it was fine, and they would hear any issues.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I also said that if something happens, send the files to the boss. I stayed calm, and I told him that I saw a lot of things, including all the pictures of her, the edits, and a few other things. I asked him to explain. He kept asking me exactly what I wanted to know, and it was becoming obvious that he was either stalling for an excuse or trying to see how much I knew.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I then told him finally that I saw all the pictures, the hidden camera pictures, and even the edits. He pleaded with me not to get mad and to hear him out. I told him I'd consider it. He took a minute, and he told me that he noticed that he was growing more and more attracted to her sexually. And apparently he struggled with these emotions a lot, which is why he did that, that he wanted to release his tension without harming anyone, which is why he made those folders
Starting point is 00:10:56 and kept everything to himself. I then asked to see his WhatsApp, and the color on his face almost drained. He told me that he didn't use WhatsApp, but I told him that I checked his Google Play to see what apps he had installed. After a bit, he handed me the phone and told me not to overreact. His WhatsApp was also hidden, and I opened it to find just one group chat with three other colleagues. They're all members of the team that he's on basically. And the group chat was just filled with pictures of this girl, creep shots taken from different areas zoomed in on her body.
Starting point is 00:11:30 They had conversations discussing fantasies about what they would do to her, and scrolling up it just kept getting worse and worse. I won't go into specifics, but a lot of it was about wanting to force themselves on her, as revenge on the boss kind of thing, but with her acting as the boss. And some of them were even full on well thought out scenarios where they were playing out what they would do and what not. If you've ever read something and just had pure whiplash, that was me at that moment, literally unable to process it.
Starting point is 00:12:03 He kept apologizing, telling me that he loved me, and that this was all just to keep himself in control, and that it was ultimately just harmless fantasizing. I only caught bits of pieces of what he was saying before just turning on the video recorder on my phone and just scrolling, recording the conversation. And the more I scrolled up, the more vile it got. It seems like the conversation did predate my husband joining it, but it didn't really matter. He was actively taking part in it.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I did get a good chunk of it, but it didn't seem to end, so I simply went to the chat media. And even that, it was just a huge non-stop scroll of pictures, creep shots from phones, fake edits, etc. I recorded as much as I could and sent the video to myself in case he took my phone. All the while, my husband kept begging me to forgive him and not to ruin his life and career. Sorry, let me quote, our life and careers.
Starting point is 00:13:01 I told him I felt betrayed and I told him I was disgusted at the man that he was. And through his apologizing, he kept insisting that he didn't actually really hurt anyone. But I told him that it hurt me and if she found out, it would hurt her too. And he simply pleaded with me not to tell her. For a while, we just cried for different reasons I presume. But the entire time he kept switching between he's sorry and he loves me to how it's not as bad as I'm making it out to be, and they were just messing around online and they weren't
Starting point is 00:13:34 hurting anyone. My friends checked in on me a few times, but didn't interfere. After a while, I pulled myself up and told him that I don't see myself staying with them and that I want to divorce. He pleaded with me not to do so, but I simply said that I didn't want to listen to his excuses. I then told him that I wanted to take his laptop and defros. I was half expecting him to reject me, but he simply begged me not to show this to the boss or to the daughter. I told him that I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that, which was a lie, and that I was thinking it over. I told him not to delete
Starting point is 00:14:08 the WhatsApp conversation or tell the others, and that if he does, I'll send everything to the boss. Ultimately, I want to talk to the daughter first, and then decide what to do, and how to tell the father. But that'll have to wait, I guess. There was a bit more pleading, and I simply left it on. I don't know what I want to do, I need to think it over and I'll let you know. I told him not to contact me in the meantime. After that, I left with his laptop. I do hope that he doesn't alert his friends, but even if he did, it wouldn't matter since the screen recording has their names and numbers on the group chat and a huge chunk of what they said.
Starting point is 00:14:45 When we were leaving, he was basically sobbing and begging for forgiveness, or claiming that it's all just a mistake and nothing actually happened to the point where I almost did feel bad. Almost. But I don't think that I can feel sympathy after what I found. Luckily, my friends were also there to remind me that, regardless of what he says, his actions aren't for me to forgive. This started off as like being concerned about cheating, but we have rocketed way past being worried about cheating, and
Starting point is 00:15:15 we've landed firmly in stalker territory. I sincerely hope that OP shows these documents to the boss and the boss's daughter because, based on what I'm reading, it seems like she's an actual danger. Our next reddit post is from Throwaway Store. I think I need to divorce my husband. He did something pretty unforgivable. It happened four years ago, but I just found out about it. We've been together for over 12 years, married for two. Well I happen to see my niece at this event, and of course,
Starting point is 00:15:45 I stopped and chit-chatted with her. It somehow led to a whole thing to where she finally told me later on the phone about something that happened a few years back. Apparently, my husband made sexual advances towards her, a young adult at the time, almost 22, and received oral favors from those advances at least twice. Apparently he tried for more and was turned down. Looking back, it was a very hypersexual time for him for some reason. He was also smoking a lot, which is probably related since that was part of him coursing oral from her. We have three young kids and I haven't told him I know yet. He's at work until this evening. My world is about to implode and I have to keep it together for my kids. I'm a stay at home mom.
Starting point is 00:16:31 I don't know how to have this conversation. The housing market is upside down and our rental is the last affordable one in the state to be honest. I can't move out into anything better with my kids and I'm obviously not moving out without them. Honestly, if it were just a random person, I could probably find it in me to move past it, but this betrayal isn't random. He's known her since she was 15. What do I do?
Starting point is 00:16:57 I wish I knew about it then, because it would be so much easier to leave over something recent, and so much harder for him to deny it like I know he will. He tells me all the time, I don't deserve you. How do I tell him that he's right? Well Opie, I'd like to point out that this is two instances of cheating that you know about. If he was able to hide that secret for the past four years, then who knows what other
Starting point is 00:17:21 secrets he has. If I were you Opie, I would just keep things on the download, talk to a lawyer, and start planning your exits. That was our Slash Relationships, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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