rSlash - r/Relationships My Idiot Son Killed my Grandkid

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:10 My ears 1:45 Comment 2:39 Family loss 5:46 Comment 6:02 Concerning texts 8:41 Controlling Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash relationship advice, where OP discovers that his girlfriend is abusing him while he's asleep. Our next reddit post is from throwawayzosoma. I'm a 23 year old guy and I recently awoke to my 23 year old girlfriend intentionally pouring water in my ears. What's up with this behavior? The title says it all. I finally got most of the water out and my hearing is nearly normal. I was amazed at how much water was in there. I was amazed at how much of my hearing had been muffled. It's so bad that it leads me to suspect that she's been pouring water in my ears for a long time. I still feel water

deep in my left ear canal. Recently, I've been able to feel fluid in my ears. This has been going on for two weeks. I used to have yearly ear infections as a kid. I met with a doctor and an ENT doctor about feelings of an ear infection. Both reported that nothing was wrong. It was a surreal experience, laying on the bed as still as possible while this monster poured water in my right ear. And I realized that my ear issues were due to her. When she left the room, I laid on my back and some of the water came out. My girlfriend made a disappointment lip smacking noise you do before you say,

Ah man! I could hear her texting on her phone. She carefully climbed back into bed. She has no clue that I know. The lip smack, the texting, she wasn't even trying to be silent when she got back into bed. This is another reason I suspect this hobby didn't start recently. My girlfriend is bipolar. My initial guess is this is some kind of extreme behavior manifested by the illness. And it's not her fault. Oh man, someone in the comments joanly points out something that I didn't even consider. This is kind of random, but how do you know that it was water? I don't know anything about this kind of stuff, but who knows if it was

another liquid, maybe a chemical that was intended to do serious harm. Please leave ASAP. Yeah, this is, uh, I don't know what else to say. This is just weird. I can't even fathom why she would do this. Is she... does she think that she's helping you by cleaning your ears? She's trying to make you dream that you're underwater? Is it just some weird control slash fetish thing? I got no clue. This is one of the weirdest things I've ever read about just because there's no logic or reasoning to it whatsoever. OP needs to leave the situation immediately and I

would love to know who she was texting and what she was texting about. Is she in some kind of, I don't know, WeChat group of girlfriends who pour things in their boyfriend's ears while they're asleep? Our next reddit post is from throwawayjod. I'm a 59 year old woman and my son is 34. My son is the one responsible for my one year old granddaughters death. I have no idea how to deal with this and to move on with my family. This isn't about my son's daughter but his niece. I have two kids. My daughter's daughter passed away due to my son's stupidity. My son Andrew married Alexis

eight years ago. I am by no means a monster in law. I never have been. But Alexis is a nightmare. She's anti-science, pro-Facebook science. She's awfully entitled and she's sinking all of their savings into some MLM scheme. And as such, they decided not to vaccinate their kids. They have a 10 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. A month ago, my daughter, Jenny, came over with her baby to pick up some of her old things. She decided to stay for coffee and cake. Andrew and Alexis moved right across from us after the lockdown lifted. My husband and I assumed that it's because they were planning on using us as free childcare.

Anyways, as Jenny was over, Alexis rang the doorbell. Before I could even say hello, her kids came spilling in. They're nice kids. Somewhat bratty, but they do have a heart of gold. I love them so much. But because they're not vaccinated, I don't like having them around the same time as babies. I tried to keep things calm, but the kids had run upstairs to where Jenny's baby was sleeping and were cuddling with her.

I managed to get them to come down, but they had been with the baby for a few minutes. Fast forward a few days. Jenny calls me in tears telling me that she and her fiance are in the hospital because their baby had a high fever and couldn't breathe properly. My husband and I hurried there. Then we spent the most excruciating 17 hours in the hospital that, sadly, ended with my granddaughter passing away. She had apparently caught whooping cough and her little lungs couldn't handle it. My daughter is absolutely destroyed. I had a stinging suspicion and I called my son. I asked him if his kids had been sick. He said that they had a nasty cough and a little fever but they'd managed. I don't

know what happened but I just lost it. I just started breathing heavy and crying hard and couldn't say much more but to say that his niece had died because of him. My son's been calling me and his sister but we haven't picked up. He's come over multiple times but we haven't opened the door. I've tried to calm down and tell myself that it's probable that she caught it from someone else. Except my daughter hadn't taken my granddaughter out to places with other kids for almost a month. Maybe at a supermarket or during a walk.

But my husband pointed out that it was likelier that she caught it through close contact. And it is possible to catch it from a random passerby, but not likely. I feel so mad and angry. I don't know what to do. I love my other grandkids, but I feel like they're going to suffer with their parents. How do we move forward? Jenny is never going to forgive Andrew and I don't know if I can. The top comment on this post, which personally I agree with, is, this is above Reddit's

paygrade. You should all seek grief counseling. Very sorry for your loss. Yeah, this is just a tragic situation and I honestly don't know if there is a way out of it. If I were in your shoes, I don't know how I'd get past this either. Our next reddit post is from Miha. I'm a 38 year old woman in a new relationship with a 51 year old man and his text messages

are starting to concern me. The math on that is a 51 year old man and his text messages are starting to concern me. The math on that is a 13 year age difference. My current boyfriend and I have been together since February and we've had a few arguments but generally things are good. What I can't wrap my head around are some of the text messages that he sends me. They come out of nowhere and they feel a little nuts to me. I don't know if I'm the one being a jerk here, but I don't know what to make of them.

I've told him that it puts me off, but he doesn't seem to hear me. This is an example of one that he sent me today after he video called at lunch. I answered, but he hung up and wouldn't answer when I called back. I left a message saying that I guess he didn't have service and couldn't answer, but just call back if it's important. His reply was, What would be the point in answering after seeing that you're dressed, makeup on and hair done? That tells me that you've been up for hours and in that time I guarantee that your phone has been

in your hand a lot and never once did you have the desire or want to call or text and say hello, good morning, I love you or even F off for that matter. And that makes me feel like garbage to be real honest. So I didn't answer. Five minutes later I got this. And because you still have nothing to say, that just tells me I was right. This kind of thing is getting more frequent. I feel like it's kind of excessive, but he says it feels like I don't love him.

I don't even know how to respond, honestly. Yo, this guy is 51. I feel like if you reversed the numbers and said that he was 15, that would be more appropriate for the way that he's acting. This is the behavior of a stupid, jealous teenager who hasn't quite figured out how relationships work and who thinks that the whole point of a relationship is that both people have to constantly obsess over each other 24-7. Luckily, OP posted an update which revealed that she broke up with him. After moving out, OP writes this. The barrage of texts have gone from nasty to desperate to accusing me of lying and never

caring about him, to taking photos of gifts that he supposedly bought me to threatening to hurt himself and me. Quote, you don't care about me, but here I sit trying to effing talk to you and work this effing thing out, because I care more about you than I do the lies. I love you OP, why can't that be enough for you? I am so done with this BS. It's probably going to be hard getting him out of my life, but I'm saving the text messages and I'm going to at least try to get a protective order tomorrow.

Thank you for all your comments. They reaffirmed that this behavior is unacceptable. Our next reddit post is from throwaway girlcopdad. I'm a 34 year old guy and I have a 16 year old stepdaughter. My wife is 31. In high school, my wife was a popular girl stereotype. Pink and blonde chunky highlights in her brown hair. This was in the mid to late 2000s. She was on the cheerleading team, had lots of friends and boyfriends, was well known and liked. She was basically the living embodiment of the picture perfect girl from those cheesy 2000s high school movies. And then she got pregnant.

When she was wow, when she was 15 years old, she had her daughter. She doesn't know who the father is and any potential fathers for the girl up and left way back when. Her daughter recently turned 16. I never wanted kids, I found them annoying. But I fell in love with my wife and got married when she was 20 and I was 23 after dating for 2 years. We hit it off and I married her and decided to suck it up around the kid. I never planned to, but I absolutely love being a dad to my stepdaughter.

Kids in general still annoy me, but my daughter was different. She was quiet and nerdy, even at a young age. I married her mother when she was five and we clicked right away. We went on daddy-daughter dates every weekend. I played dolls with her. I let her paint my nails and do makeup on me. I drove her to and from school in my cop car. We even did daddy-daughter duo costumes for Halloween. Over the past two years, she's developed a darker dress style. I don't know what the proper subculture of her outfits are, but according to her, she's developed a darker dress style. I don't know what the proper subculture of her outfits are, but according to her, she's dressing like a horror game protagonist and a Monster High character.

Purple is the main color that she incorporates into the specific aesthetic blend as she calls it. I don't get it, but maybe that's because I'm a man in my 30s. I don't know. She likes ghosts, tarot, vampires, zombies, aliens, and creepy Victorian dolls. I don't get it. But also, I don't care because if it makes her happy, so what? She's also an introvert and prefers to play games on her computer or read fantasy occult novels rather than hang out with other teenagers her age. She has friends, so I'm not too worried about her being completely withdrawn. I'm just glad I don't have to drive her around since she only has a learner's permit currently. My wife hates this! My wife always wanted a girly girl,

pinks and pastels and flowers and all that. She wants our daughter to get a boyfriend, be more social, be a cheerleader like she was. Which is valid in itself. I get that. I'm sure most parents have preferences for what they want their kid to turn out like, and some disappointment when they stray from that fantasy is valid. Somewhat. My wife will constantly steal and hide away my daughter's darker room decorations. She constantly gets pastel dresses for our daughter, tells her to wipe off her dark eye

makeup, tries to set her up on dates with jock types from my daughter's school, and convince her to sign up for both school and summer activities like cheerleading or volleyball. I could have put up with all of that. I really could have. But a few weeks ago, I woke up to my wife finally hitting her breaking point. I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife Screaming and having what I can confidently describe as a borderline Miltdown she was crying and saying all she ever wanted was a normal daughter who likes pink and is a cheerleader

And has a boyfriend and will give her grandkids I had to drag her out to the hallway after 30 minutes of this I kept thinking she would stop, but it kept going on and on. My daughter was just staring at this whole thing in the doorway of her room. Yo, she had the breakdown in front of her daughter? What caused this meltdown from my wife? My daughter died purple over the blonde streaks and highlights that my wife had forced her to get in her hair. Which wasn't even breaking a house rule, as my wife and I have both told her that she

can do whatever she wants with her hair as long as she doesn't stain too many towels. It's been weeks, and my daughter won't talk to her mom. My wife is still up to her antics, but now it's in overdrive. Every day she brings home some type of trendy clothing in pink or pastels and tries to give it to my daughter. My daughter is getting fed up and stays in her room all day and has confessed to me that she can't wait for school to start back up in a few weeks so she can get out of the house and be with her friends again.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to side with anyone in this situation. I understand my wife wants a daughter who she can relate to, and my daughter wants a mom who understands her. So I don't know what I can or should do. OP, this is super easy. You absolutely need to side with your daughter in this.

But that doesn't mean abandon your wife. It sounds like your wife needs therapy. I don't understand why she's so obsessed with her daughter turning out to be a specific way, especially considering that your wife's lifestyle ended up with her pregnant at 15 and with no father, which is not really an ideal situation. So I find it kind of surprising that she would want her daughter to follow in those footsteps. Then, one week later, OP posted an update. Two nights after I posted, I sat my wife down and very bluntly asked her what exactly the problem was. She kept saying she just wanted a daughter who's similar to her. But after I kept asking, she broke down and admitted

the real reason why she was having her meltdowns. My wife feels that her daughter is the only way for her to have more family in the future. She's estranged from her siblings, her parents don't speak much to her, and all of her friends from high school stop talking to her after her pregnancy. She wants a family back, and she's hoping that her daughter will marry a nice boy and give her grandkids so that she can have a family again. She said she never brought up having more kids with me, because she figured I'd be against the idea. I don't know how I feel about having more kids with my wife, but it certainly won't happen now. So my wife is in therapy to try to get her to

realize that she can't just view my daughter as a way to create a family. She's doing well so far, but it's too soon to really tell. My daughter is also in therapy. She's been in therapy since she was a kid for bullying issues, but now her therapist is trying to focus on the meltdown situation with my daughter. She actually seems relatively unaffected by this whole situation, other than a little annoyed, so I don't know if that's good or not. I took my daughter to Hot Topic for some back to school accessories and then took her out to eat, just the two of us. She's still excited to go back to school.

She misses her friends and her clubs. My wife and daughter have started talking normally again. They had a long talk, which I was present for, where my wife apologized for being so pushy and extreme with her wishes. My daughter was receptive to this talk and seems to be back to her normal self. I'm keeping an eye on both of them to be sure. My wife is doing her best to understand my daughter's interests. Last I saw, the two of them were watching some slasher TV show on Hulu as a way to bond, and it appears to be working. Hey, okay, I don't know how to say this. I'm going to

try to say it as delicately as possible, because I'm not trying to be, uh be crass here or rude. But OP, your wife can rest assured because there are lots and lots of guys out there. Lots of them. I can kind of understand why your wife would look at a teenager goth and think, oh no, no boy will ever like her because this is completely contrary to her experience in high school. But times have changed and there are plenty of people who would love to have a goth girlfriend. There's no guy on earth who looks at Morticia Adams and is like, ew, no thank you. So if all she wants is grandkids, just give her some time.

Let her cook, so to speak. That was r slash relationships and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast Give her some time. Let her cook, so to speak.