rSlash - r/Relationships My Little Bro Is Spying On My Wife!

Episode Date: August 21, 2020

r/Relationships_Advice In today's episode, OP's little brother lives with him and his wife during the corona virus. OP begins to notice some odd behavior from his little brother and eventually catches him with dozens of inappropriate pictures, videos, and even audio that he took of OP's wife without her knowledge or consent. What happened next was pretty shocking! If you like this video and want to see more, subscribe to my channel for more daily Reddit content! 🔔 Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2E3A8i6 💬 Discord: https://discord.gg/VD6eYD3 🎧 Podcast: https://link.chtbl.com/rslash ⚓ Send me a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rslash 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rslashyt/ ♪ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rslash0 🛒 Merch: http://bit.ly/rSlashMerch 🎁 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Salesforce, we're all about asking more of AI. Questions like, where's the data going? Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreVai.com. Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit.

Today's subreddit is R-Slash relationship advice. I'm a 26-year-old girl, and my 35-year-old boyfriend drugged me with Benadrill because we got into an argument before our road trip and he wanted me to sleep the whole time. On Monday, we decided to make the 8 hour drive back to our home state and quarantine there for a few months. Right before leaving, we got into a big fight because I wanted to stay at my mother's house for a while and he didn't want to.

Among other reasons I won't get into. Well before leaving, we decided to eat dinner so we didn't have to stop anywhere. Fast forward to our drive, and not long after hitting the road, I passed out. I don't even really remember falling asleep. I woke up one time for a while, drank some gatorade, which he gave me, and then I fell asleep again. I thought this was extremely weird, because I wasn't tired hardly at all, and we didn't even leave super early. I kept commenting on how weird because I wasn't tired hardly at all and we didn't even leave super early.

I kept commenting on how weird it was that I was tired the whole drive and slept for 90% of it. Yesterday, the tension eased a bit and he made the off-handed comment that he wishes he could drug me more when I act out and argue with him. I ask him what he's talking about. He proceeds to tell me that he put Benadryl in my drink, and that's why I slept. So he didn't have to deal with me. He literally said this as though it wasn't that big of a deal. I'm still reeling from the conversation and completely floored.

I don't know if I'm overreaching or not, but something tells me I'm not, and it's extremely screwed up to put medicine and drinks. I don't know what to do. Opie, I'll tell you exactly what you need to do. Don't dump this guy immediately. Oh my god, this is a red flag. It's disrespectful, abusive, and probably straight up illegal. Opie, this isn't merely a red flag. This is absolutely terrifying behavior. And then OP posted an update. Thank you guys so much. I can't even believe the support and response I got.

I ended up calling my brother and telling him about it and asking him how I should handle it. And he got in this card to come get me before I even finished telling him what had all happened. Him freaking out more than anything else made me realize that I wasn't overreacting. I didn't tell my boyfriend I was leaving until my brother was parked on the street and I just walked out with a few things. So now I'm in a messy break up situation where he's already tried to come by my mom's

house even though I told him I don't want to see him and that I'd get my stuff eventually. Both from his parents' house were he worries currently at and his actual house. Things are gonna be weird to figure out, but I just want to let you guys know that I'm totally okay. Thank you. I can't reply to everyone who reached out and messaged me, so I hope you guys see this and know that I appreciate it. Oh, P, I'm glad that your brother made you see reason. If I had a sister and she called me and said that her boyfriend drugged her to be unconscious, then I would have done the exact same thing. This next post is an update to a post that I covered in a previous R-SLASH relationships video. As a quick refresher, OP was a woman who had a stalker, so she bought a dog for protection. Her stalker broke

into her house, and the dog straight up ripped him a new one. Then OP's sister-in-law, who has a young child, demanded that she put her dog down because she felt this dog was unsafe and dangerous. OP didn't want to put her dog down because why would she? The dog literally saved her life. Anyways, the dog's name is Thor and this is the update post. I definitely didn't expect my last post

to blow up the way it did. Thank you so much to everyone who commented. I appreciate that I got advice from all over the spectrum, from people who completely agreed with me to people who completely agreed with my sister-in-law, and people who thought both of us had a point. It helped me see that the problem was more complicated than I thought, which helped me understand that my sister-in-law wasn't just being a dick. It also helped me decide what things were and weren't fair to be angry about.

I also appreciated seeing a few people comment making fun of me for needing my dog with me, and the majority of people yelling at them and saying I was actually acting pretty reasonably for someone who endured a violent attack. I don't want to be seen as someone delicate, and I'm glad that most people don't see me that way. Reading everyone's comments, I had this moment where I was like, yeah, they're right. I did almost get dragged out of my house

and murdered just a few weeks ago. Who the hell are these people to say how I should act? That felt really good, and I really, really appreciated it. Anyway, the conclusion I came to in all of this is that while my sister-in-law is well within her rights to protect her daughter, she went about it in a way that disrespected me.

Both as a friend and as a victim of a very recent violent attack. Both my parents and her parents lived locally and babies had all the time. She and my brother could have easily dropped my niece off with them and came to visit. It probably would have been a while before I noticed my niece wasn't coming around. At which point, I would have been in a better place and more understanding that she was uncomfortable with her daughter around Thor. Regardless of what some people said about how my sister-in-law and brother don't owe me anything, and that all of their allegiance goes to their daughter, I simply do not feel that way. We were extremely close before this happened,

I was always there for them, and I would literally drop my plan so I could babysit my niece if my brother and sister-in-law needed a night to themselves. The very least they could have done for me after I was almost kidnaped and murdered is to try to find some compromise. We went from seeing each other three times a week to pretty much not seeing each other at all. Even if they weren't okay with me creating the dog, they could have easily dropped their daughter off with grandma and grandpa for a few hours so I wouldn't feel completely isolated. I also have a yard so they could have come over with her and we all could have hung out outside while Thor stayed inside. I've been upset about this for a while, but I wasn't sure if I was right to be upset until so many people echoed that sentiment.

So I appreciate it. I invited my brother and sister-in-law over and tried to lay all this out without being confrontational or acting like a dick. To my surprise, my brother and sister-in-law over, and tried to lay all this out without being confrontational or acting like a dick. To my surprise, my brother and sister-in-law had no real understanding that I've been having a difficult time. They thought I was basically fine, and everything in my life was more or less back to normal now that my stalkers in jail. I didn't get into it in my previous post, but during the year that I was stalked, I worked really hard to not show many outward signs of fear. I even made jokes about having a stalker. I knew people wouldn't want to hang out with someone who was constantly going on and on about some bad thing that was going on in their life,

and I didn't want to be that person who was perpetually in crisis. And more than that, I just didn't want to always be thinking and talking about having a stalker. I wanted to not think about it as much as possible, so I guess I might have come off as unaffected by the whole thing. I'm not sure if I totally buy that they did know that I was going through something traumatic and that it was taking a huge toll on my mental state. I mean, I got a gun and paid for tactical training. I bought a home security system.

I got active in self-defense classes and strength training, things that I previously had no interest in. Even if I wasn't walking around telling everyone how scared I was, I think anyone would have been able to tell. Plus, who just brushes off having their house broken into in the middle of the night? It seems crazy, and they don't seem so emotionally unintelligent that they think that. But, both my brother and sister-in-law did apologize for being insensitive, and when I pressed my sister-in-law on why creating the dog isn't good enough, she eventually relented instead it would be fine. It probably helped that the entire time they were over, Thor was asleep and loudly snoring in his crate. The paranoid part of me is convinced that they don't want to deal with me in a fragile state. They made up an excuse about my dog, and are now

just going to come up with some other excuse about why they can't see me. I invited them over for dinner in a few days and they're coming, so I guess I'll just have to see from there. I can't stress enough that these used to be my best friends, and I'm heartbroken to have not had their support. I've been trying to rely on my friends more now, and thankfully, they've all been really supportive. I'm really lucky that this happened during the pandemic, because nobody's getting frustrated with me that I basically refusely leave the house for a month. They're all perfectly happy to pick up takeout and come over and watch TV for the fifth night in a row.

In other news, yesterday I left my dog at home and drove around the block alone. I was shaking the whole time, but I did it! I keep trying to remind myself that I spent a whole year fighting them back, even though I was utterly terrified. I can't just lay down and die now that I'm so close to getting my life back. Opie, I'm so glad that you came to a resolution, because I was actually kind of worried that you are going to put down your dog. And any dog that saves their owner's life from an actual murderer is a bona fide, good boy.

The sub- episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. The dog that saves their owner's life from an actual murderer is a bonafide good boy. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Here is an RBC student offer that turns a feel-good moment into a feel-great moment. Students, get $100 when you open a no-merfly fee, RBC Advantage Banking account, and will give another $100 to a charity of your choice. RBC Advantage. This great perk and more. Only at RBC.

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Chalkets for the teachers. Oh yeah, points for me. Shoppers. You should totally go. Exclusions of life. I'm a 38 year old male and I just found out that my 19 year old brother has been purving on my 37 year old wife. Background.

My brother has been staying with us since lockdown after his university closed. He couldn't stay with our parents because they just sold the house and moved to one bedroom apartment and our sister lives in a different part of the country. He was the oops baby so I hope that explains the age gap. My wife and I have a five-bedroom home but currently don't have any children yet so we let him stay here. My brother's always been different. He's a bit of a loner and doesn't have a lot of friends outside

of his online group. He's a shy geeky kid, but he's otherwise alright. Or so I thought, when you get to know him. So here's what happened. The Wi-Fi doesn't quite reach my brother's room, so he usually does a schoolwork and other stuff in the dining room. A few nights ago, I was walking to the fridge after waking up in the middle of the night, and I saw my brother working on something. And as I got closer closer I saw a very compromising picture of my wife. It was a cleavage shot as she was gardening. He noticed

me and quickly posed the window like he was caught watching adult videos. I was too shell-shocked to say anything at the time and he just smiled awkwardly and ran to his room with his laptop. When I realized that something was up I knew I had to find out. The next day, I asked my brother to pick up some groceries and lunch for us, and while he was away, I went to his room. And, well, it wasn't pretty. I saw a couple of my wife's bras and some of her panties, which I can only assume he used to pleasure himself. I took his laptop, and I decided to snoop. I know his password because I borrowed his crunchy roll account. There, I found some of the most sickening things

I've ever seen. There were pictures of my wife in a towel, her working out, her uncompromising positions, etc. All taken without her consent by the looks of it. My brother even logs every time he touches himself to the image of my wife. The creepiest part? He sometimes listens in on us when we passionately hug. My wife can be a bit loud, but we didn't think it would be a problem since his bedroom was in a different part of the house, the guest bedroom. I left the room feeling like I needed a shower. It was absolutely disgusting. Now I don't know what to do. I find myself fighting the urge to pummel him into next week every time I see him.

I haven't told my wife yet because I'm 100% sure she'll feel violated and disgusted, so I want to find the best solution first before doing so. I so desperately want to kick him out, but he has nowhere else to go. Even if I do, what should I tell my parents? The truth? This will most likely break the family apart. I do play on telling my wife soon, but if I do, I can almost guarantee she would want nothing to do with him and would never want to visit the family if he's around.

I'm so freaking lost right now. Any advice will help. I'm still fighting the urge to beat my brother to a bloody pulp. Small update. I told my wife. The redditors who said that I should tell her first before anything because she's the victim are absolutely right. I'm giving her all the power to decide what to do about it. A lot of things have happened, but there's still things that need to be settled. And then O.P. posted an update. I told my wife the next day after posting and needless to say, she did not take it well. She says that she feels violated and unsafe in her own home. See, the thing is, my wife and I have been together

for almost 15 years, so we literally saw this kid grow up. We took him out to movies to the beach, etc. We sometimes even joke to my parents that he was our practice baby. My wife has a tendency to distrust people in general as a lot of people in her life have let her down in the past. Imagine how hurt and betrayed she was when she found out someone she trusted and loved dearly betrayed her like that. Honestly, if I wasn't consoling my wife then, I probably would have gone through with the initial idea and be the ever loving bejesus out of my brother. After she calmed down and went to sleep, I called my sister and talked about the situation. My sister and I are close, given that we were born less than a year apart.

I feel like she needed to know, because she has two teenage daughters herself, and who knows what my brother would do to them if given the chance. We talked, and she was clearly mad. She loves my wife like a sister and they're quite close themselves. She said that she would support whatever decision we make and that her brother would also be unwelcome at her place for the foreseeable future. Then we confronted my brother. At first he denied it but when I showed him the evidence, he started ugly crying and begging us to forgive him.

I gave him an ultimatum. Either he lets me into his phone and laptop and delete everything or I call the police. There was so much more stuff on his computer than I initially thought. So many more stolen pictures of my wife that were definitely taken without consent. My brother even recorded the audio of us passionately hugging. Who does that? So, after hours of me looking for as much stuff as possible and pretty much clearing most of his hard drive, he eventually left without much of a fight. Oh, and we definitely threw out my wife's defiled underwear and are most likely going to have the room he stayed in clean professionally. I checked, and thankfully

he didn't have any hidden cameras anywhere. Oh, and if you're wondering how we got pictures of my wife in a towel, the shower for the master bathroom doesn't have hot water right now, so my wife uses the shared one in the same area. She would usually walk out of the bathroom with just a towel on and go change in our walk-in closet. This shouldn't have been a problem, because the guest bedroom was in a different part of the house far from the main bedrooms, and it had its own bathrooms, and my brother had no reason for being there. Needless to say, my wife is still shaken up about the whole thing, which is why I didn't think about writing an update until now. I'm sorry,

but my wife's well-being is my priority above anything else. My mom eventually called me asking what happened. She seemed very confused, so I figured my brother didn't tell her anything at all. I told her what happened, and needless to say, it did not end well. She kept asking me to forgive my brother and take him back in. She ran to it about how difficult it would be to support him and how what I'm doing is breaking the family apart. I let her talk until I eventually said that my brother would no longer be welcome in my home. I told her that she needed to get him to therapy and that until then there's no chance we

would ever see him. My mom told me she talked to my sister about it and I said, good luck, she's mad at him too. I'm not sure what's going to happen to our family now. The reason why we got this big house was because we wanted everyone to come over during the holidays and stay with us, but I'm not sure if my parents will at this point, and there's no chance my brother is ever coming back anytime soon. Thankfully, my sister is 100% on my side, and we're going to talk about what we're doing

for Thanksgiving soon. My wife hasn't really been the same either, but she's getting better now that my brother has gone. We're talking about therapy, which is something she's very willing to try out. We took a drive to the beach earlier, chill guys, we never left the car and talked about the future. We both agreed that after this whole COVID thing is over,

we're gonna finally start our family with kids. Being a mom is something she always wanted, but we both wanted to be financially secure enough to give them a good life and for us to also be in a position where we didn't have to work so much and just been time with them. The sparkle in our eyes when we talked about our life together with kids told me that,

while things aren't good right now, we're gonna be okay. Honestly, I can't wait to be a dad myself. So yeah, long story short, my brother is gone. My wife is still sad. My sister is on my side, but mom isn't, and I'm gonna be a dad in a few years. Thanks to everyone who gave me their advice, it honestly helped me clear my head and make the right decision to tell my wife first.

And no, we didn't go to the police. My brother deleted everything voluntarily and left without a trace. I'm sure the pictures are still out there somewhere, but thankfully they aren't so explicit that it would severely damage my wife's reputation. OP, that story is wild and I'm glad that you're backing up your wife throughout all this. I think you made the right call, even though it's definitely gonna call some damage to relationships in your family. That was our slash relationship advice and if you like this content, then be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcasts every single day.

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