rSlash - r/Relationships My Sister is Marrying a Violent Felon

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:11 Marrying a criminal 4:53 Outbursts 7:40 Disinherited 11:03 Awakened 12:39 Views on fidelity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, linda chocolates, plus a scratch and win card, where everyone's a winner. It's a tradition truly worth sharing. The festive special, only at SWISH L.A. Visit SWISHLA.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Welcome to R-Slash Relationship Advice, where OP finds out that her little sister is marrying a P word Which I can't say on YouTube our next reddit post is from strawberries and boba my sister who's 25 is Marrying a convicted criminal who did things to kids yo what I'm a 25 year old woman and I can't see myself having

Anything to do with them or attending the wedding. I live with my significant other, but I also stay with my parents sometimes to help them since they're elderly. My sister lives out of state because she moved and left on bad terms since none of us supported her relationship. I have a baby with my significant other and my other sister, who's 34, also has a daughter that stays at my parents place a lot. My two sisters don't have contact with each other.

And my parents are both heavily against my sister's relationship with the child, and don't want anything to do with the guy. The guy is 26 by the way. The guy can't work because he can't pass a background check. He has zero job experience or education, and he can't really go anywhere since he doesn't have a license or car. I'm devastated that my sister gave up her whole life

for someone who I feel is taking advantage of her. The guy's own mother even kicked him out, and my sister bashed his mom by saying that she's a horrible parent for abandoning her son. My sister has been supporting this man for seven years. I've been telling her that I'm worried about her health in future because she's working so hard to make ends meet on a $38,000 salary for two people. Not only that, but I'm not too friendly with a guy. He called my niece a B word because my oldest sister

found his previous crimes and doesn't want him near her or her child. Wait, he called the niece a B word? As in the child, he called the child a B word and not the mother? Okay, I gotta wrap my brain around this. The older sister has a young child, a young girl, and the mother says, hey, I don't want a P word that I can't say on YouTube being around my kid. And the P word finds out about this and he calls the child, the child, a B word because of this. Okay, alright. The guy blames what he did on depression and that he didn't realize what he was doing at the time.

I feel like that's just a terrible excuse, and he still doesn't feel any regret for who he's hurt. How do I respond to my sister that I won't be attending their wedding or helping at all? Man, there's so much wrong with this post, there's so much wrong with it. There are plenty of people in this world who are depressed who don't molest kids. Secondly, even if that's true, even if he did it because he's depressed and even if he doesn't even remember it or realized he was doing at the time, that still doesn't mean you want him around kids, because what's stopping him from getting depressed again and doing it all over again? But let's be honest, no one really believes that anyways, I'm just saying the guy's own logic doesn't make any sense. Well, I don't know why I can't control it at all.

I just sometimes I get really sad and I'm less kids. Okay, well, to you, then you can't be around my kid. Are you stupid? Also, OP says the guy can't work because he can't pass criminal background checks, but let's be honest, let's be real people. There are plenty of jobs out there where you can get paid under the table

and still make money. I feel like I just read a story a couple of days ago about OP has a deadbeat baby daddy and in order to not get his paycheck garnished, he only gets paid under the table. So if this guy really wants to make money, he could do it. So he doesn't I guess he just sits at home all day playing video games and fantasizing about kids. So predictably in the comments everyone is asking OP what exactly the guy did and OP says that she doesn't actually know because her sister won't tell her the details but this is what she knows. I'm not sure of all the details because my sister never went deeper past the whole explaining

his background thing and why he got kicked out by his mom and why he can't find employment. When I Google his full name, I find court records with his full name, city, and the year that my sister told me about. My sister said that he's also broken ties with his family because of something he did, which is why his aunt, his mom's sister, doesn't let him around her baby girl or let him talk to them after something that happened between them on Thanksgiving. The court record says that he pled Nolo-Cote Contendary, which means the criminal accepts conviction as though a guilty pled had been entered but does not admit guilt.

I'm not sure if he spent any time in prison for it. I don't know the circumstances of his case or the background, and I don't really know him or talk to him. Our next reddit post is from International Phil. My partner and I have been together for three years. I would say that everything's been great. We bicker here and there, but we've never had any major arguments. I do most of the chores around the house, but I enjoy doing them, and while she struggles to help, she does make a good effort and I'm happy with it. The biggest gripe I've been having lately is that she'll break down, cry, and throw a tantrum at the most minor of inconveniences. Like, if I can't park in her favorite

parking spot, or I have to park a little further away from the grocery store entrance, she'll cry in the car for 20 minutes and be in a miserable mood for the next hour or so. If she gets killed in a video game, she throws the headset or the controller and cries. If she has to go into work 30 minutes early, she's miserable the night before. If the bank is closed on Sunday, her whole day is ruined and she'll be mute or barely talk for the next 2 hours. Keep in mind, this is only when she's around me, close friends are with her family. When she's around co-workers or acquaintances, she's completely fine and can tolerate any

amount of BS. I could deal with it for the first year and would usually respond with love and affection such as a hug or holding her. It slowly became more and more annoying until it just become a downer on my mood. It's hard to when it go out and do things with her because I'm always fearing some small thing will spark this outburst. What's most frustrating is that after she's done throwing a tantrum, she'll act as if nothing happened, but I'm still stuck in fight or flight mode. I don't know how to tell her that her reactions are overblown and they're greatly wearing

me down. Obviously, if something minor sins are over the top, then me saying something like that would be like setting a nuke off. I feel like I've coddled her too much from these outbursts, and as a result, she expects it. Opie, I think your girlfriend needs a medical professional, like a therapist or a brain scan or something, because I've heard of tumors greatly changing someone's personality, like a brain tumor, it presses up against part of your brain, and they put their personality

completely changes. Anyways, OP posted an update. After a quick nap, I decided to bring it up with her girlfriend and tell her what's going on. She got very sullen, but after I said what I had to say, she admitted that it's an issue, and she feels bad about how it makes me feel. She understands that it's not right to act like it's doomsday over little things. She didn't resist me, and she agreed that it would be best to go to a therapist to help her.

I've agreed to help her find one. I do understand that she won't become perfect overnight, but I'm confident that there will be an improvement, and that's all I really care about. Anytime I've ever brought up an issue in the past, she's always been quick to correct it and keep a continued effort. Our next reddit post is from Space Whale. I'm a 35 year old woman,

and I just found out that me and my sibling, who's 41, are cut out of my parents' will. They have millions of dollars and plan on leaving it all to charity. My brother and I are pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Let me be clear, we're in regular contact with my parents and we have a good relationship, but maybe not as good as I thought. Right now, I'm doing therapy for some issues that I have with how my mom contributed to

me feeling like love is conditional based on my weight and appearance. My dad has a history of severe rage episodes that had me constantly on edge. Honestly, I'm glad that they're in a good financial spot as they age and that I don't have to worry about having money to help them in their old age. My dad has a family history of dementia and may need to be in a home or require at home nursing care one day. However, my mom remarked to my brother that me and him are getting nothing because they plan on leaving millions of dollars to charity.

That means that over the rest of their lives, they plan on hoarding their wealth and not spending it on themselves. I've previously told them that I hope they spend their lives, they plan on hoarding their wealth and not spending it on themselves. I've previously told them that I hope they spend their money while they're alive. They don't plan on doing this, apparently. They plan on continuing to live well below their means and having millions of dollars left over when they pass. I know that I'm not entitled to their money, it's not mine. If they had nothing to give me, I'd be okay with having nothing.

Recently, however, they keep bringing up their net worth to me, which is why I've been confused. I feel like I was never good enough. My parents have said through their actions, little digs, and outright, your father and I are really disappointed in you that I'm a failure. Both me and my brother are single without kids. I'm single because I haven't found my person, not because I'm actively not wanting a relationship. My mom is really disappointed about not having grandkids. I'm hurt and I feel like this is going to be their final way of saying that they're not proud of us. I'm happy for them to leave money to charity, but like all of it? Millions? I really feel like a huge butthole for being

hurt over this. Politically, we're on the same side. They aren't super religious and they don't believe that I'm going to hell or anything like that. I'm just kind of shocked and confused. I don't know how to navigate my feelings about this, and I would love some outside perspective. On the one hand, I feel like they're sending me a hurtful message. On the other hand, I don't want to feel disappointed or hurt because it's not my money and I know they don't owe me anything. Okay OP, just my knee jerk reaction, it sounds like they're testing you. It sounds like they're being like, oh, that money we were going to give you, we're

going to give it to someone else instead. What do you think about that? Are you upset? Are you angry? And they're doing it either as a way to control you or manipulate you or to gauge your reaction to determine if you're just interested in them for their money. Right, because I think that's a very common fear for people with money, because they think that people are only around them because they're expecting a handout eventually. And if that's what's going on, I'm not saying that's right, what they're doing because

this is manipulative, but I'm just saying that's my guess as to what's happening. And while it is true that they don't owe you money, they do owe you respect. And if they can't treat you and your brother with basic respect, then effem. Our next credit post is from Throwaway, Biju. I'm a 43 yearyear-old woman, and I just had intercourse for the first time? What? At 43? How do I tell my husband who's 44 that I want to end our marriage? I've suffered from what my church terms, same sex attraction my whole life. My husband has been my best friend for 30 years, married for 25.

He's felt asexual since as long as he can remember. Our relationship has been one of absolute loving, cuddly, but celibate best friends, and while unusual, it has been satisfying and worked for us. This weekend, I attended my 25th high school reunion about 4 hours from where we live. I stayed with Eve, my best female friend from back then. I'm not going into details here. Frankly, I haven't even processed it all yet. But we made love several times.

I had my first ever...finish. I felt desired, I felt authentic, real, alive. Neither Eve nor I planned or expected this. I'm shedding a lot of my self deception and I'm determined to actually live my life now. I'm ready to lose friends and family and being unwelcome at my church. But the thing is, my best friend slash husband slash confidon is totally innocent in all of this. And for two days, I haven't slept much. And he's sensing that something is weighing on my heart. How on earth do I ask him to just switch to being my best friend?

This sucks! Our next reddit post is from spirit at Isopod. Well today, I learned an interesting fact about my wife that kind of disturbed me. We were driving and she kept telling me that she doesn't view prostitution as cheating and couples who use them aren't cheating as long as they tell each other. She basically went on to explain further that in her eyes it's just like using them as a dildo and I feel the world would be better off if married couples could just screw other people and she said I'd love to do it someday.

She went on telling me that it's an amazing way to explore your fantasy, like this fantasy which I can't say on YouTube to make you feel good, because every partner can't please all your fantasies all the time. Meanwhile we haven't passionately hugged in weeks, and I've been working 10-15 hour days just trying to help pay the bills with inflation at an all-time high. We're currently on a mini vacation. At one point, she rolled over, and I tried to initiate some foreplay, and she immediately tells me, I'm not horny.

I immediately rolled over with anger and frustration with the rejection. I love my wife, but what she said today really hurt me. She's rejected me for weeks and I feel completely useless, hurt, miserable in terms of how low my marriage has reached and overall so angry. Am I the only one who finds this very confusing, concerning? I chatted with her more and told her how uncomfortable this made me. OP, if your wife isn't already sleeping with other dudes, she's about to be very soon.

I wish I knew what she was doing all the time because OP just mentions that he's been working 10 to 15 hour days to help pay for the bills, but he makes no mention of his wife whatsoever. Which, you know, it's not really concrete evidence, but it kind of implies that she's not working, so she just sits around all day doing nothing, he didn't mention they had a kid either. So is she taking his money and spending it on dudes cheating, but not really cheating because they're prostitutes? I don't know, man, I wish I had more information.

Let me check this guy's posting history. What I don't understand is if she's so horny and she wants to explore these fantasies, then do it with your husband. Why else did you marry the guy? Okay, I went through the comments and he says that she lives with him 24-7 and takes care of their child.

Also, OP says that he works from home, so he would know if she's stepping out. Okay, well then the cheating hasn't happened yet, but it probably will soon. That was our Slash Relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.