rSlash - r/Relationships My Stepdad Wants to F*** My Husband!

Episode Date: August 11, 2021

r/Relationships_Advice In today's episode, OP and her husband have a very open marriage. OP sleeps with other women, and her husband sleeps with other men. Somehow, OP's stepfather finds out about this and decides that he wants to passionately hug OP's husband. The stepfather starts making aggressive moves on the husband. The husband eventually cracks and tells OP what's been going on, and OP just doesn't know how to handle it. What should she do? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from across Reddit. Today's subreddit is R-Slash Relationship Advice, where OPs stepfather wants to passionately hug her husband. My wife of seven years cheated on me. Now all of my friends, her friends, my parents, and her parents are telling me to take her back, and I don't know what to do. I met my wife 10 years ago when we were in college. We dated for three years, and we've been married for 7. She's beautiful, and an amazing person,

and everyone in my family loves her. Four months ago, I found out that my wife was having an affair with a mutual friend of ours. It was a 1.5 month affair, and she was acting very shady at that time. She would ignore my messages and turn me down every time I tried to initiate intimacy. I thought that something was wrong. I did some snooping and found nothing, and eventually I hired a private investigator, and within one week I got proof. She was having an affair with our mutual friend. I immediately confronted her, and she confessed to having an affair. She immediately

started crying and begging, basically all the classic cheater moves when they're caught. I asked her for all the details with a detailed timeline. She told me everything that basically at night she was using a second phone for having an affair. She told me that she passionately hugged him only four times and the rest of the time they were just hanging out and having fun. After three more days of crying and apologizing, she told me that she passionately hugged him only four times, and the rest of the time they were just hanging out and having fun. After three more days of crying and apologizing, she told me that she deleted all contact with him, and she would do whatever it took to make our marriage work. She suggested marriage counseling. I turned her down and told her to leave me alone.

I was hurt, betrayed, and humiliated. She moved out to live with her parents. She started texting me every hour about how much she loves me and how she regrets this and she'll do anything to save our marriage. I completely ignored her for two days. Then I texted her that I want to get a divorce. She freaked out and started having an emotional breakdown. My phone started blowing up with her parents, sister, and friends telling me not to end our marriage and at least give her a chance.

Later that day, she made a long post on Facebook explaining how she screwed up and how she's destroying her marriage, basically admitting her affair publicly. But I was rock solid on my decision. She even insisted on having a lie detector test to clear my doubts that she never cheated before that. Blah blah blah. I asked her for some time alone to process all this, and we've been living separately ever since.

This was all four months ago. Last week, I asked her for divorce, and she started crying, begging for another chance. After that, she visited my parents and asked them to convince me not to divorce. Last night, my parents and her parents tried to convince me to work things out. Also, after she made her Facebook post, almost all of our mutual friends were telling me how she was brave to admit her affair and that she loves me, and I should at least give her a chance. I'm on the edge of having a breakdown.

She's truly remorseful and regrets this. I can assure you this. I do love her, and her cheating on me hurts me the most. I don't know what to do to anyone who's reconciled with a cheater. How are things going with you? Okay, Opie, if this was like, she had a one-time affair where she slept with a guy one time, like five years ago, and since then she's been feeling guilty, and then like now you find out about it, then maybe, maybe I could see looking past it.

But that is not what happened here. What happened here was she was having a continuous, ongoing, repeated affair, and the only reason why she stopped is because you caught her. Personally, OP, I consider cheating to be a complete and total deal breaker. It doesn't matter to me if it's one time or four times or a thousand times, cheating as cheating as cheating. OP, your wife was manipulating you when she was cheating on you, and now that she's caught she's trying to manipulate your friends and family to do her dirty work.

If they all think that she's so brave and amazing, then they can have her. Just think about it, OP. If you hadn't hired a private investigator, then how many more times would she have slept with that guy? I'm a 27 year old woman, and my husband's assistant, who's 31, sent him a text asking when he was going to divorce me. My Kindle recently broke, so I've been using my husband's iPad to read eBooks. His phone is synced to the iPad, so his message is show up on it.

This morning I was using my husband's iPad when I got a weird text from his assistant. I didn't open it until I saw the preview message. When are you going to divorce her? The conversation went something like this. You had another fight? You shouldn't put up with her garbage. When are you going to divorce her? I'm not. You had another fight, you shouldn't put up with her garbage. When are you going to divorce her? I'm not. You should. She's using pregnancy to be awful to you. You do

realize that. We are not having this conversation. We should. Then my husband said something work related and she said, whatever, fine. My husband's assistant is also a family friend of his. They're like siblings since they know each other their whole lives and she's always been nice to my face. I'm honestly shocked by the messages and I don't know if I should say anything or just act like I never saw them. Do I confront her? Do I confront him or should I just drop it?

Okay OP so obviously the assistant is crossing a line here and that's a problem. But I don't think you should confront her in this situation. I think the logical thing to do would be to screenshot the conversation, send the conversation to yourself, sit your husband down and say, hey I saw these messages, what's the deal? Don't attack him, just give him a chance to explain himself. Based on what I'm seeing here, it doesn't necessarily look like your husband is cheating. However, it does look like maybe he's complaining to his assistant about you, which is very disrespectful, and that behavior needs to stop. Obviously, he's also employing someone who's disrespecting his wife, which is a problem, but it looks like he's trying to shut it down, just not very effectively.

So, I think I would say, don't quite go to the divorce attorney yet, OP, just give your husband a chance to explain himself. I'm a 30 year old woman, and I just found out that my husband might be the father of my best friends four year old child. What the hell do I do now? Yesterday, I received a call from Amy's husband, Paul, claiming that my husband was the father of her four yearold daughter, Kim. He said they got into an argument, and she blurted out that Kim isn't his daughter, and that Kim regularly spends time with her real dad, my husband. He snooped, and he found out that her dad was my husband.

I'm so shocked and angry that I don't know what to do! Paul claims that he has evidence of their ongoing long-term affair and he would like to meet up with me to show me the evidence. I don't know if I should go because he wants me to meet him alone at his house. Part of me wishes that he never told me. I asked him to send me something over text first because I honestly didn't believe him and he sent me a blurry video of Amy passionately hugging someone else. She was moaning my husband's name but you couldn't really tell if it was him in it

because it was so dark. He also sent me a few text messages between him and Amy, and I wished that I could unread them. I feel numb and sick. I haven't confronted my husband yet. I don't even have the energy to do that. He noticed something was off when he got home, and he asked me if I was okay, but I just shrugged it off and told him I was going to sleep. He decided to work from home today because he was worried that I wasn't feeling well. I wish he hadn't.

To make things worse, me and Amy are both pregnant. I'm 5 months along and Amy's 7 months along. Paul claims that Amy's new baby is also my husband's. Paul said that he was planning to sue my husband for all the money he spent raising his child, and Amy was planning to put him on child support. He said that he was warning me in advance so I could apply before her, and they're gonna get a divorce. I just can't believe that he would do this. I just keep hoping that Paul will text me saying that it was all a joke. Amy keeps texting me, telling me that she's sorry.

I've ignored her so far, but I want to rage at her. I don't know what I'm going to do if we get a divorce. I don't think I can raise my baby alone. I feel dumb for posting this, but I have no idea what I should do. Should I just pretend that I don't know? And then Opie posted an update. I spoke to Amy. It turns out that my husband isn't the person

that she's been having an affair with. When she told Paul, he just assumed that it had to be my husband because of the name. She said he went berserk and she was too scared to correct him. She and her daughter, Kim, are safe at our mother's house. I told her about him wanting me to come to their house, and she warned me not to do so. Alright, OP, so first things first, I don't know if I would really trust the words of a cheater. Obviously, you need to talk to your husband first and get his side of the story.

And if necessary, you might want to run a DNA test on your husband with Kim. DNA tests are pretty cheap, they're like a hundred bucks. Also OP, I can't help it wonder. If she was really cheating on someone who happened to have the same name as your husband, then why was she calling you up apologizing to you about it? Overall, her story is really fishy, and I don't think I trust it. My suggestion OP is that you really have to sit your husband down, show him the evidence, and see how your response. I'm 18 years old, and my 24-year-old boyfriend of one week got my name tattooed on his stomach, and I flipped out! Okay, so my boyfriend is a bit feminine. He's in discerts and crop tops. We've been dating for like a week, and he got my full name tattooed across his lower stomach,

where it's like right above the line of most pants on his stomach. And I kinda flipped out because we've literally been dating for a week, but now I feel guilty for freaking out even though it's weird and it's way too soon for stuff like that, and now he's blaming me for it, because I said that I was serious about us. It's like you can be serious without doing insane stuff like this, but he doesn't want to hear any of that. So this is kind of a mess, and I don't know if this is a deal breaker or what I'm supposed to do, or if I maybe came off his two root over it.

I would really like some advice because this is freaky deaky. Alright, Opie, this is something worth flipping out over. Yes. Opie, this is something worth flipping out over. Yes, tattooing someone's full name on your body after just one week of dating is not so. Opie, you're only 18, you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't mess up your entire life by picking the wrong guy. I'm a 24 year old woman and my 54 year old stepdad wants to bang my husband, some background info.

My husband and I are both bisexual and have a very loose relationship. Where would you call Polyamorous and we do on occasion sleep with other people? My husband usually sleeps with other men and I usually sleep with women. We plan to fully swing one day, but swears are surprisingly hard to find where we live. It's never caused as issues as long as we communicate and stay honest with each other. So this past weekend on a really long car drive, my husband Ryan dropped this bomb on me. He starts by saying that he hasn't been completely honest with me, so I ask what he lied about and he said that he hasn't exactly lied about anything. He just never told me.

But apparently about three weeks ago at my mom's house, my husband and my stepdad, John were alone in the pool. And John kept talking about increasingly sexual topics. Eventually, John got kind of grabby and began touching my husband. And they had a weird moment, but it was cut short and Ryan got out of the pool and went inside, leaving John alone in the pool. Well, the few times that we've gone over since that day, I've noticed Ryan being kind of distant from John, and he was unusually snappy towards things that John said. I never thought that was the reason for it, but I did notice the atmosphere was kind of tense. Then comes our car ride, and Ryan finally opened up to me about what

it happened, and he said that on top of that, John kept making sexual grunts at him whenever he had the chance. He also told me that my mom knows, and that John had told her the same day that it happened, and that she was cool with it. Apparently, my mom said something like, at least we know Ryan is clean, and he's a great guy for John to sleep with and stay safe. In fact, my mom's been actively taking me to the store and leaving Ryan with John alone at the house so they can initiate things. Ryan said that, during those times, John would do his grunts and make sexual comments about Ryan making him super uncomfortable.

I had no clue about any of this. Meanwhile, John asked Ryan how I would react if he asked me, and Ryan told him that I would probably freak out. So John said some weird comments about Ryan around me, but nothing like, hey, can I bang your husband? So I've been in the dark for about three weeks, and I'm just so disgusted and confused about all of it. I honestly have a hard time with emotional reactions, and that I don't feel really extreme emotions. I know that I should be angry at everybody, but I'm honestly

not feeling any anger at all. Mostly, I'm just super confused and disgusted at the thought of my stepdad doing those things to Ryan. And my stepdad thinking about my husband while banging my mom. If I'm angry about anything, it's that they kept it all hidden from me. I haven't talked to either my mom or my stepdad about any of this. My husband knows fully how grossed out I am, but I'm not sure how angry I should be with him. I'm mostly mad that he kept it a secret, but I don't know if I should also be angry about the pool thing because he didn't exactly let it progress any further and he did separate himself from John. Also, I have no clue how to bring this up to my mom and stepdad. It's all so messed up and I'm so confused and disgusted about all of it. And yes, to anyone asking if this is real, it's a hundred percent real. And it's so typical of my mother to think any of this

would be okay. Oh my god. Okay. Alright OP. So first off, I definitely understand why you're feeling conflicted about your husband. I mean yeah, he should have told you what happened, but in his shoes, I feel like a lot of people would have been like, oh my god, what do I do here? Yeah, even though he didn't tell you immediately, what he should have done, I feel like we can give him a little bit of leeway here because he was shutting your stepfather down, so it's not like he was cheating on you.

All I'm saying is, let's give the husband the benefit of the doubt here because he didn't take it any further, he shut the step dad down, and I think you just sort of took some time to figure out how do I handle this situation? Because obviously he wants to tell you, because he did tell you, but there's that whole thing of like, how do I tell it to my wife because he did tell you, but there's that whole thing of like How do I tell it to my wife because I don't want to ruin her relationship with her parents? So yeah, I kind of feel like giving the husband a pass here It's crazy that your mom was intentionally taking you out of the house to help facilitate her husband to passionately hugging your husband behind your back

Oh, P these are honestly all such huge red flags that this feels like a let's go no contact situation to me. At the very least, that'll give you and your husband time to figure out how you feel about this and both get on the same page. Down in the comments, someone asked O.P. what on earth is up with her mother and O.P. replies as follows. My mother is a huge husband pleaser. Her last marriages were the same.

And now with John, I guess she just somehow thinks this is fine because at least he's safe. Like, let's not even ask first because they sleep with other people anyways, so it should be fine. Yes mom, we're polyamorous, but with people who aren't family, why does that even need to be said? Yeah, OP, this is a horrifying red flag. Your mother sounds like one of those women that you read about in the news, who's aware that her husband is abusing their kids, but she

just looks the other way because I don't even know why, it just doesn't make any sense to me. Anyways, OP, if you have kids, you absolutely 100% do not need to let your kids around these parents ever again. As for you and your husband, yeah, I think you should go no contact because this is just, this is a red flag factory. That was our slash relationship advice and if you like this content, you can sponsor my podcast to unlock additional episodes. Also be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. episodes. Also be sure to follow my podcast because I put on your Reddit

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