rSlash - r/Relationships my Wife Confessed my Kids Aren't Mine!

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

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Welcome to our slash relationship advice, where OP finds out that his hot neighbors are swingers. I'm a 25 year old guy, and my 24 year old wife has been acting strangely after finding out about our neighbor's lifestyle. Last year, my wife and I moved into a new house. We never could have afforded this house, but her grandmother left it to her in the will. It was a blessing! We could have sold the house and bought a much cheaper one, but we hadn't really put down Ruchia. My wife, Amy, had a little bit more trouble finding a job locally than I did, and originally our shifts were a little bit weird.

But after a few months, things worked out, and we both managed to get on similar schedules. During that time, my wife made the acquaintance of our neighbors when she managed to forget her house keys in the morning and was locked out. They waved her over and let her come inside to hang out with them while she waited on me to get home, and they've been very friendly with us ever since. Later that week, we were invited over to meet them, and that was the first time that I met them in person. I sort of had to stop my jaw from hitting the floor when I saw these people. Ray and Maria were almost out of a movie. I wasn't exactly surprised to find out that Maria was a model. Ray does something in textiles. I don't know exactly what, but he seems to make a lot of money. As it turned out, Ray and I

hit it off, and so did Maria and Amy. They became our go-to friend couple in the area since we didn't really know anyone and we met their circle of friends. We hang out at least once a week as couples and Amy spends time with Maria far more frequently than that. They've become very close friends and I think that Ray and I are getting pretty close too. We found out that we had a lot in common. Ray and I didn't come from money, but Maria and Amy did.

We're both big nerds who paint war hammer miniatures, small world. Flash forward to this weekend. We were out shopping, and Amy spotted Ray walking at a distance and tried to point him out to me. Then she paused and looked shocked. Plain his day, it was Ray getting out of his car and kissing a woman, a woman who was definitely not Maria. Amy was furious.

Downright ballistic, I had to stop her from going over to immediately confront Ray. Not because it wasn't the right thing to do, but because I didn't want Amy to get arrested for assaulting Ray or the woman he was with. When she cooled down, she said that we had to tell Maria immediately. I agreed. I started to write a text, but Amy said that this was better to bring up in person. So we went home and Amy invited Maria over and said that she had something serious to talk about. Maria came over and looked happy to see us, but seemed a little bit confused about the heavy tone.

Amy sat her down and explained what we had seen. Maria didn't look mad. She just asked what color the woman's hair was. I started to say brown, but Amy said red, definitely red. Then Maria laughed. We were a little thrown Amy repeated that she had seen them kissing not really seeming to process Maria's reaction Maria said that wasn't a problem that that woman was one of their mutual play partners that they shared That was when Maria basically said well the cats out of the bag She explained that she and Ray were not strictly monogamous.

Sometimes they had singular partners that they played with together and sometimes they partner swapped. Sometimes they did other things, but always with each other's consent and with both of them having veto power over the other's partner or shared partners. I was genuinely surprised and so was Amy. Maria thought that our reaction was sweet, but also hilarious.

She mentioned it to Rey, who also thought the same thing. He came by later with pizza and wine, and we ate dinner together. He said he was relieved that we had told Maria, and that it was also a bit of a weightoff of their shoulders that they didn't have to keep walking on egg shells about their lifestyle. I asked why they'd kept it a secret. Ray explained that they had ground rules and lines that they didn't cross. They tried to be careful in explaining about their non-monogamy with monogamous people, because it could come across as an invitation.

That this kind of thing wasn't for everyone, and it might be seen as trying to push their way of doing things onto people who were perfectly happy with what they already had. Naturally, we had a few questions, and they were very comfortable answering them. Amy had a lot more questions than I did. Later, when Ray and Maria left, Amy and I had a good laugh about the misunderstanding. That's when Amy asked me if I thought that Maria was attractive. This felt like one of those, do I look fat in this outfit? Questions? So I said no. She quirked an eyebrow at me with an expression that says, really? After

a little more badgering, I eventually said that she was attractive, but not the person that I was married to. Then I asked her if she thought that Ray was attractive, and she said yes. We laughed about it, and I thought the conversation ended on a pretty good note. Here's what's bugging me. Over the past couple of days, she's asked me several times if I thought that Maria was attractive. I already gave her an honest answer, but that was when I really started paying attention. She's also had that deep-in thought look on her face. At first, I was worried that she was worried that I would want to go be swinging her buddies

with Ray and Maria, so I assured her that that wasn't the case. Today when I got home from work, she was over visiting Ray and Maria again. When she got back home, she once again had that deep and thought expression that she sometimes gets when she's thinking. I asked her what it was, and she said it was nothing. She was just still surprised about the whole thing and felt guilty about freaking out

when she saw Ray kissing another woman. I know my wife will enough to know that that is not all of it. She's not gonna say anything more to me though until she's thought it all out, but I know that she will and eventually bring up to me what she's been thinking about. I'm asking for advice because my mental processing power is kind of stretched just accepting that our friends are swingers. I've never been in this situation and neither has Amy, so I can't really read her reaction

to it and I have no idea what she's going to say, but I'm already basically neck deep mentally, so I thought that I would ask you guys for advice about what my wife could possibly be thinking. I don't want to screw this up. Thanks for reading this far. If you're puzzled by the situation, trust me, I am too. Okay, so first off, OP, let's not get too caught up in their possibly glamorous lifestyle of the neighbors, because you said that Maria is 20 and she's dating a 30-year-old, and I mean sure, maybe they're perfectly happy, but how long could they have possibly been

together? Like, maybe a year, two max? Hopefully two max, right? Let's hope that when Ray was 27, he wasn't dating a 17 year old, right? So just because they seem to be like a perfectly happy and loving couple, I mean, you never know. Don't get too caught up in the glamorous appearance of what their lifestyle might actually be. Just focus on your own wife. The two of you need to just focus on your own life, your own worries, your own problems. I mean, before you knew that your neighbors were swingers, were you deeply concerned about your neighbor's sex life? Probably not, right? So why change that?

I can't really speak to what your wife is thinking, but let me leave you with this advice OP. Do NOT shack up with your neighbors. That will almost certainly end badly. I'm a 30-year-old guy, and my 40-year-old wife slept with one of my close friends, who's 32. They've been having an affair for two years. I found out that they've been having an affair with our daughter, who's eight. Wait, what? I found out they've been having an affair with our daughter, who's eight. Excuse me? My daughter let it slip when I was doing homework with her. She said that my close friend Edgar keeps coming around while I'm at work.

Oh, you don't mean they're having an affair with our daughter. You mean you found out they're having an affair through your daughter. Buddy, you gotta worry about your phrasing here, alright? Words matter. You can't say you're having an affair I'm a fair with your eight-year-old daughter. That means something completely different. Okay, so be careful about the words you choose My wife currently doesn't work Recently she left her job and told me that she's been looking for a new one without being too suspicious

I asked my daughter what they do when Edger comes over She said that she doesn't really know they always spend a lot of time in our bedroom, and all she can hear is them laughing. While my daughter might not understand, I know what might be happening behind that closed door. My wife put our kids to sleep, and we exploded into a huge argument in the living room. But instead of including our daughter, I lied and said that a neighbor mentioned noticing Edgar's car around often. She began by lying that our bedroom sink recently broke down and she needed help in repairing it. I knew that she was lying because it barely made any sense. Then she started crying and told me that it's

been going on for the last two years. Her reason was that I'm too emotionally distant and that we didn't do it for a while. My antidepressants destroyed my libido. I still tried to show her affection, but she wouldn't be up for it and then she would just head off to sleep. Our bedroom was dead, and I understand that it was my fault. I tried my best with giving her gifts and helping her with chores and returning home from work. I planned a family trip for this summer. I left our place after picking up a few things and I moved to a motel room.

The first night, I ended up drinking. My entire heart feels like it's ripped out of my chest. Well, OP, if you're looking for a relationship advice, since this is our slash relationship advice, I would say de forces pretty much the only option. Not only is she cheating on you, but she's cheating on you while she's supposed to be watching your eight-year-old daughter and your other kid who we don't know how old they are. So in addition to being a bad wife, she's also a bad mother. I wouldn't even try to stick around OP. In my opinion,

your marriage is completely destroyed and she destroyed it. Not you. Let's make that perfectly clear. The whole point of marriage is that you stick with each other through sickness and health. You having a low libido because of your medication is the insickness part of that vow. Her cheating on you and then her blaming you for it is just awful OP, it's toxic, it's gaslighty, it's manipulative, don't stick around OP, please leave. My partner with terminal cancer confessed that our children might not be mine. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. I've already sent off for a DNA test, so this is more for the aftermath if they're not mine. We've been together for seven years.

We have twin daughters who are nearly three and we bought a house together five years ago. She had a breast cancer diagnosis just over two years ago, and after intense chemo and radiotherapy, as well as a double mastectomy, we thought that we were in the clear, but it had spread to her lymph nodes and from there, elsewhere. Earlier this year, we were given the terminal diagnosis. I've been doing everything to make her as comfortable as possible, and I quit my job late last year so that I could look after her and our two kids better. Her parents live nearby so they've been helping, but they're quite old so it's been difficult

for them. We were sitting in the sunshine this weekend together while the girls were with their grandparents, and she just started crying and talking a mile a minute. The gist of it was after we bought our house, she started talking to her ex because I was always busy with work and she was lonely. They grew closer, and they used to meet up quite often, which then led to things being rekindled. They'd been sleeping together for six months, which has led to the confusion as to who the father could be. When I asked her when she stopped

things, she said that she didn't. After her ex-boyfriend found out that she was pregnant, he ghosted her and she hasn't heard from her since. Maybe the shock hasn't hit me yet, or maybe it has, but I'm at a loss. My first thought is to run away. If the girls aren't mine, I'm not sure if I can be a father to them if she's gone, because I'll always hold that resentment against her and it'll impact my relationship with my kids.

I know the children are blameless, but I can't impact my relationship with my kids. I know the children are blameless, but I can't have a relationship with them if they're not mine, and I think they're young enough that it's better for me to leave. Then OP posted an update. I received the DNA results this morning, and they've confirmed that the kids aren't mine. I've been staying with her for a while since then, and I haven't been back to the house. She sent me a lot of messages and left a lot of voicemails, but I haven't replied. I know her parents are currently staying with her and her sister is flying down to help her as well. I've got an appointment with the lawyer this afternoon

to make sure that I do everything correctly. Getting my name off the kids' birth certificate seems easy enough, but I just want to make sure that I do it with proper legal advice. It's been a very tough weekend, but I think it's for the best to no longer be a part of their lives at all. I understand that the kids are blameless, but I will always hate their mother, and I don't want to turn his story to relationship with her or any memories they may have or my relationship with them. I love them both dearly, but the hatred that I have for their mother currently outweighs that. I've sought advice from elsewhere, and they're young enough that they won't really remember me that much if at all.

She and I are not married, so it's just a case of walking away. The mortgage is more difficult because I'll have to continue to pay for that for the time being, but I'm speaking to our life insurance provider about it and I'm happy to leave the house to the kids. Essentially, I just want a clean break. Man, this is a lose, lose, lose situation. And okay, I know that a lot of people are gonna trash on OP for walking away because they say, hey, the kids are victims, the kids aren't responsible for this, why punish the kids. But the thing you gotta remember here is that OP is a victim too. Arguably, OP is the biggest victim here because his wife cheated, his wife died and he

found out that his kids aren't his kids. So he literally lost his entire family in just one conversation. And oh my god OP, your wife is utterly disgusting. She cheated on you for half a year. She didn't break it off, she had to get dumped for the cheating to stop. She bore someone else's kids and then she held that secret for years and then only as she's dying as her final act She drops this bomb on your life and her kids life just so that she can die with a clear conscience It's like who cares if she's ruining her life and the lives of her children as long as she gets to die with a clear conscience

That's what really matters here, right? I mean, yeah, she should have told you the truth, but she should have done this years ago, not now, after you formed a loving relationship with these two kids who aren't yours. Anyways, OP, I feel sorry for you, I feel sorry for the kids, I feel sorry for everyone except your cheating wife. That was our Slides Relationship Advice, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. relationship advice. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.