rSlash - r/Relationships My Wife is Banging Our Couples Therapist

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Sleeping 8:36 Affair 12:51 Proposals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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OP has a very unusual fetish. Our next reddit postage from my boyfriend is nice. So there are three main players in this situation. My childhood friend Sarah who's 31, my long time partner John who's 34, and myself who's 29. I've known that Sarah has had a crush on John for a long time. It's kind of an open secret in our group that no one talks about. But other than some longing looks and awkward interactions, Sarah's never crossed any boundaries.

But because she does have this crush, she does stuff such as leaning over his shoulder to look at his phone screen and doing that playful shoulder slap that people do. My boyfriend and I discussed it and decided together not to address it unless her crush became her problem since it seemed harmless. Apparently, when she was doing that recently, she caught a glimpse of what looked like a photo of him passionately hugging me. So later, she went back into his phone and went through his gallery, which is full of photos and videos of him doing the deed with me while I'm sleeping.

She took photos with her phone and then went and told everybody, except me, that my boyfriend is assaulting me in my sleep. She apparently showed them her evidence as well. I found this out the next day when another friend messaged me incredibly concerned. Now people are threatening to go to the cops, trying to stage interventions, and someone even told my dad that I'm being abused. But here's the thing, it's my fetish in the first place, not his. He took the photos and videos for me. The day after our sessions, he sends them to me so I can watch them because it's better than any content I can find online. But nobody believes me. They're accusing me of protecting my boyfriend and covering for an R-wordist.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared that someone is going to call the cops on him. How do I fix my relationship and convince everyone that I'm the one who wanted it? There is no text communication to exonerate my boyfriend, but I do have pages of internet history from my phone with the keyword limp and sleeping fetish fantasy literature. I'm tempted to pull up my internet history and air my dirty laundry to fix this. Please help! I'm so embarrassed, frustrated, and honestly really really effing mad.

Also OP clarifies that her boyfriend does have a passcode on his phone, so it's not exactly clear how she figured out his password. Then OP posted an update. I went to the police last night, alone. After everything that was said, I was nervous about having John with me, just in case my consent wasn't enough for them. I went in and told the police that adult videos of me were taken from my boyfriend's phone by a woman and then distributed around to two dozen people.

Wow! At first, the officer in the window was like, I think that's a crime. Maybe I gotta call my supervisor. That happened twice before the police were like, okay, this might be a civil suit, but we don't know. We're gonna take an information report and send an officer to speak with her to ask her to delete the photos and videos. I got my report and left.

About 15 minutes later, I got a phone call from the local police department. They told me that they thought that my boyfriend might be the victim of a sexploitation crime based on my comments. My comments being that Sarah has a vested interest in breaking apart my relationship to sexually pursue John, and this interest was probably the reason she stole the videos in the first place. They suggested finding a lawyer since law enforcement apparently has a shaky grasp on the laws in my state. Well, they told me that just in case it was a civil suit, I'd have a lawyer retained, and that lawyer could send a cease and desist. There was a bunch of hemming and hawing and I don't knows. They'll attempt to get the

videos deleted, but can't seize the phone without a warrant. What's so telling about this whole situation is that if the friend in this situation, Sarah, was really so concerned for OP's well-being, she would have come to OP with her concerns, or maybe even the cops, not to just the entire friend group so that all of her minions can shame OP into breaking up with John. Then OP posted an update. I spoke to a lawyer and my dad. The lawyer is my father's friend who's giving me advice for free. If this goes to court, he'll be representing us. Anyways, Monday, I got a call from a very polite female officer asking if both my boyfriend and myself would come into the station to make

a criminal report. The first officer to call me was mistaken. While this does fall under revenge content, it doesn't fit sexploitation. Sarah would have actually had to coerce my boyfriend into sex acts for that. In my state, this is only a misdemeanor crime. Fortunately, it's a charge for every image stolen or shared. It also matters that there's two victims. The police spoke to the people whose names I provided, most of which confirmed that Sarah had shared the photos. They'll be taking her phone as evidence and they'll ensure that the media is 100% destroyed. That all made both me and John happy, but as a lot of people pointed out, this stuff

could already be on the internet. So I turned around and submitted copyrights for all of it. I spent a ton of money copywriting over a hundred images and videos. Then I paid for a domain name and made a website that says under construction. Then I registered John and myself on several different adult media hosting sites and posted content pending copyrights. Then I posted this on Facebook. Recently someone I consider a friend broke into John's phone and stole images.

She then proceeded to share these images among some of my closest friends. Not only am I disappointed, hurt, and betrayed, but this person placed John in a very disturbing position, one where he had to defend himself from sexual assault accusations. This person did not come to me with these concerns, deciding that she would rather gossip with others under the guise of concern. Had I actually been assaulted, this person would have been spreading horrible moments of my life to others, taking away my voice as a victim. How horrific, how absolutely monstrous does a person have to

be to do something like that? In actuality, this person stole intimate videos that were in no way intended for her. Stolen is the best word for this media because, well, most of you know me as an entrepreneur. I own a small business, I pick up freelance jobs, I dabble in several money-making ventures. None of this is a consistent income, so John and I have been brainstorming on how I could possibly generate a passive income. So I started making adult content of a relatively popular kink. We had generated enough content to finally build an online following. And then our content was stolen and John's name was dragged through the dirt. Shame on all of you who participated in this. Because

of this person and all who participated, I've had to out John and myself as adult workers. I've had to speak to the police, a lawyer, and my dad! Shame on all of you! From this point on, any person sharing these copyrighted images and videos will personally hear from my lawyer. If anyone has legitimate concerns about my relationship, come to my face instead of spreading BS behind my back. Thank you. Since then I've been receiving non-stop calls and messages from people apologizing asking questions and Unsurprisingly people are arguing about my expectation of privacy on Facebook Sarah tried to call but I had ignore and texted her you may contact my lawyer and then gave her the number She hasn't responded all in all I'd like to say things are looking up.

Sarah is rightfully being charged with a crime or 12. John's name is clear legally. Important people in my life know that I'm not being abused. People are reaching out to John to either apologize for misjudging the situation or to congratulate him on being an adult content creator. So that's good, I guess.

I assume Sarah's plan here was to get John basically cut off from his support group because everyone is like, oh, this is so awful. You know, I don't want to be your friend anymore because you're an R-wordist. And then she would swoop in and pick up the pieces, which is pretty classic abuser behavior to isolate your victim from their support network so they have to depend entirely on you and your abuse. Our next Reddit post is from throwawayhusband. So my wife and I have been having some communication issues for about a year or so and started

to see a marriage counselor about 7 months ago. At first it was good and we started communicating better. About three months ago, she starts going to extra sessions for self-care alone. Around this time, our couple sessions that happened with all three of us together about three months ago became much more one-sided with me being the bad guy and the two of them kind of teaming up on me. She starts telling her friends about her therapist, Danny, and how great he is for her self-care. But if her friends seem interested in making an appointment, she says, he only does couples, or he's not taking new clients.

Which I think is weird because we've normally referred to him as Dr. So-and-so, and now he's suddenly Danny? Also, I don't know if he actually isn't taking new clients. Around the time they started teaming up in me in the sessions three months ago was around the time that my wife and I were last intimate. There have been a couple of other weird coincidences that I thought were puzzling, but three nights ago my wife said she had an emergency with her sister and had to go see her right away. She went to the bathroom and showered and put on perfume and left.

It was 9.30 at night and that seemed really odd to me. About a half hour later, I tracked her iPhone and the location showed up as his office. When she came home three hours later, I asked her how her sister was and she kind of gave a weird, oh, you know sister was and she kind of gave a weird, oh you know Jenny, drama queen kind of answer. I think I'm going to confront them in a session this Thursday. I checked OP's posting history and we have a couple of updates. These are all in the comments of the same post but OP never made an update post. I have a suspicion that she created a second Facebook account to communicate with him,

as she suddenly has a second Yahoo email. She's getting ready for bed, and I'm gonna see if I can open her new email and find out about the second Facebook tonight. I came home the other day and she was in her bra and panties in our bedroom, which isn't the oddest thing in the world, but I think she was sending him pictures through Facebook. There have been a couple of other odd little things, but up until the other day I thought that I was being paranoid, so I wrote them off as such. She tends to go work out after her solo sessions and most always returns home from her gym

freshly showered. Again, it's not weird on its own, but everything together has me pretty convinced. Then another post. She has a second Facebook. I did a forgot password jailbreak through her second email account. There are some pretty filthy private messages from some guy's account. I'm assuming the therapist's, but it's a made up name, which all coordinate with her solo sessions.

I feel sick to my stomach. They are very descriptive messages about different acts. The first message from almost two months ago is, come over and taste it again, with her response being, give me 20 minutes. I can't believe I've been kissing that mouth. I'm pretty sure it's him. I want to go wake her up and get this over with, but I might sit and think about it a while. Then OP posted this comment. The guy just messaged from Facebook.

I see you're online. Missed the thickness. Holy Christ it's taking all my willpower not to reply. I just really want to find out if it's Danny or some other dude. I mean she's gonna know the password was changed, and I'm pretty drunk and almost euphoric that it's going to be behind me. And the last update. I told my wife I'm getting called out of town until Monday due to the proposal I'm working on with a client. I set up three cameras in my house with one in the bedroom. I'm staying with my brother through Monday night.

I'm a rollercoaster, but I thought this was the best way to maybe get evidence at this point. Unfortunately, there's nothing after that, but it's really not looking good for OP here. Man, getting cheated on is bad enough as it is, but paying the guy to sleep with your wife is 10 times worse. I wonder if they were paying out of pocket or if their insurance covered the sessions. Probably out of pocket, I would bet you. Our next reddit post is from throwaway. I'm a 24 year old guy and I proposed to my girlfriend who's 25 and late 2019 after 2 years together. Admittedly, now that I think back on it, it

wasn't the most well thought out or planned proposal. It was mostly spontaneous and came as we were lying in bed together, so I didn't even have a ring at the time. At the time, my girlfriend said that she would love to marry me, but she had been looking forward to a more elaborate proposal. I assured her that I'd sort something out. A month later after shopping for the perfect ring, I set up some candles when she was coming home one day. Think like the Chandler Monica proposal in Friends and I asked her again. Well, my girlfriend loved the ring, thankfully, and teared up with happiness. She said that she really appreciated my effort, but what she meant by elaborate was something

original that she could tell our kids about one day. She mentioned the name of one of her friends, whose boyfriend, that we both know, proposed by making a huge video montage of their time together and putting it on a projector. I decided to start over, and in February, I planned a three-night trip away in our favorite city. This time, I spared no expense and ordered all the extras. A five-star hotel, a photographer, even an opera quartet. When I asked her to marry me, my girlfriend said yes and I thought that all was well. Except when we were alone again, she gently told me that she didn't think that now was the right time and that she was worried about her future and COVID-19 and

that a proposal now wouldn't be a good memory for her. Since then, I've carried the ring around with me almost everywhere. At this point, I've even tried to involve my girlfriend in some sort of proposal planning, asking where and when and how she'd like us to get engaged and what would make her happy. However, all she's told me is that she doesn't know exactly what she's looking for and I'll know when the right proposal comes. From my perspective, this is hugely frustrating since in all other respects she assures me that she wants us to begin our lives together. Last week I thought I'd bite the bullet again, and after cooking her a homemade meal, I asked her if she'd like to be my wife. She asked me if I was trying to propose, and I asked her what was wrong with that. Once more, she told me that she can't wait to marry me,

but it still wasn't quite the proposal she needed. Honestly, at this point I'm frustrated. I realize that my girlfriend might come off as pushy or high maintenance in this post, but I love her very much. And in day to day life, she's honestly the most understanding, chill person to be around. However, I don't understand why she's acting this way and what I'm supposed to do to satisfy her with the perfect proposal at this point. I'm confused and running out of patience.

How do I deal with this? Then Opie posted an update. I decided to sit my girlfriend down and draw a line in the sand. I told her that after four proposals, I'm lost and confused as to what she wants. And if she has a dream proposal in mind, she had to tell me exactly what she wants so I could make this work. My girlfriend looked somewhat nervous at that, so I pushed her to communicate properly. She apologized again for not accepting my proposals earlier, but said that in 2019 she was still testing our relationship. And so when I asked her to marry me, she

said, try again, rather than yes, in the hope that I would wait longer. From her perspective, while she had responded positively to the idea of marriage prior to this, it had still been too soon for real engagement. I will admit that I'm not the best at reading social subtext if it's not stated directly, so I could have missed the implication when she asked for a different proposal. When I later asked her in February, she knew that I was the one, but was telling the truth about being too anxious to consider marriage. She actually confessed that she's planning on proposing to me later this year, sometime

around when we were planning to fly to my home country. She had been trying to keep it a surprise, but we've now agreed that it's better we're both on the same page when it comes to proposing. We've decided that we're both going to sit down and work together to make the proposal special for both of us. Okay, so fifth proposal's the charm, I guess? That was r slash relationships, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.