rSlash - r/Storiesaboutkevin + r/Choosingbeggars "YOUR HOUSE BELONGS TO ME!"

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

This is the podcast version of the following 2 videos:  r/Storiesaboutkevin This Is The DUMBEST Person On Earth! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o21LFnxr8Ro r/Choosingbeggars "YOUR HOUSE BELONGS TO... ME!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wdwiQGbnxU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash stories about Kevin now you're probably wondering what the heck is our Slash stories about Kevin well, that's because I've never covered this subreddit before and it's a relatively smaller subreddit But the basic idea is people tell stories about the dumbest people they've ever encountered. And for whatever reason, they always call the dumb people in the stories Kevin. I assume it's in reference to the Kevin from the office. Anyways, there are some super funny stories in the subreddit, so let's dive right in. Our first post is from always a misspell.
Starting point is 00:00:44 This Kevin has been in my life since age 6. We grew up as friends and I have many stories. This one is my favorite. Kevin got a job at a gas station in fast food place. During his first week there, they were training him on the sandwich line. He said everything was going well and he had the manager there with him to help him out. He finally gets his first customer, the guy orders steak and cheese. Keep in mind that a steak and cheese sub is Kevin's favorite food and he makes good ones
Starting point is 00:01:14 at home, so it should be no issue for him. Well, Kevin makes the man sandwich and even the manager comments on his good job making it. Right as he was about to wrap the sandwich, the customer notices that he forgot to cut the sandwich and ask Kevin to do it. Kevin says, Oh, yeah, I forgot, sorry about that. Then proceeded to lay the sub down on its side
Starting point is 00:01:37 and cut the sub long ways. The manager and the customer are now just both staring at Kevin in complete disbelief. Finally, the manager asked him why he got the sandwich like that, and Kevin responds with, that's how you showed me. That was not how he was shown. So, the manager and customer at this point start to laugh about it. The manager explains that in no way, shape or form, were you trained that way? He then tells Kevin he can keep the sub for himself and make the customer another one. Kevin makes another perfect sub and begins to wrap it up when the customer notices for a second time he didn't cut it.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Now to this day, none of us could figure out what went through Kevin's mind. Maybe he thought it would get a good laugh. Maybe he was super hungry and thought he would get another free sandwich. All we know is that he laid the second sub down on its side and cut it long ways again. Both the manager and the customer were upset by this point and the manager sent Kevin away and made the sub himself. Kevin was removed from the sub station permanently and made into a cashier that shift, which there are more stories about.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Now when I finally confronted Kevin about the story, other friends were around too. I had to ask him, Kevin, if you had a long day at work and you're starving, so you stopped to pick up a steak and cheese on the way home. And right before they hand you what looks to be a delicious sub, they cut it in half like the way you did. Would you accept the sub? Kevin inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- inf- No, I wouldn't take that sandwich. He didn't understand our hysterical laughter. I actually have my own story about this. I'm pretty sure I haven't told the story on my YouTube channel before. If I have, I'm really, really sorry. But when I was young, like a teenager,
Starting point is 00:03:39 I used to work at subway. So this lady comes in and she's like, hey, I want a chicken sandwich on white bread and I'm like, cool, but I'm like, cool, put longer six inch. And she looks at me, this woman looks at me dead in the eye and says, what's the difference?
Starting point is 00:04:00 And at this point, I'm stuck because I don't know how to answer this question without making herself like a complete moron. So I just look at her and I'm like, um, well, ma'am, one of them is a foot long and one of them is a six inch. And she goes, oh, okay, then I'll have the foot long. That's a foot long, right? And I'm like, yes, ma'am, it's a foot long.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Our next post is from the same OP, always a misspell, about the same Kevin. So this particular Kevin, like most Kevin's, didn't have a filter whatsoever. He was known for saying and yelling inappropriate stuff. Kevin would scream butthole, then get in trouble and yell it even more. Kevin would fart as loud as possible at every occasion. Kevin once told his mom that he wouldn't go to prom because no one would hug him passionately. Kevin at a child's birthday party in front of the parents wouldn't stop talking
Starting point is 00:05:04 about breastfeeding. He kept saying, I was breastfed up until my dad caught me. He shortly after started to yell that one of the children there was breastfed from the tallywacker. The laughter, of course, only encouraged this behavior. The worst though was his use of the term rape face. A little background on why he loved that word. One day while a group of friends of mine who all knew Kevin were hanging out, someone
Starting point is 00:05:34 pointed out Kevin would get this weird look on his face sometimes. The best description I can give is from that movie full metal jacket. Remember when the crazy dude went into the bathroom and started monologuing right before he spoiler redacted? That crazy look on his face? That was the look. To make things worse, he kind of looked like the actor. Well, we often referred to that as his rape face. He overheard us talking about it and thought it was hilarious and started to use the term quite often. Fast forward a few years later, when Kevin developed a drug habit that eventually got him busted. When he was arrested, he was trying to hide
Starting point is 00:06:16 the drugs in his crotch. The cop saw and pulled him out of the car window while he screamed, I'm just scratching my balls." He was forced into a state rehab program through drug court and attended narcotics anonymous type meetings regularly. One day, in one of these meetings, the group was asked what they did to start their day to prepare to be drug-free. Kevin says, Well, I wake up and immediately take a steaming hot shower.
Starting point is 00:06:44 Then, I get in front of the mirror and give myself a nice clean shave. Then, I look in the mirror, put on my rape face and attack the day. The person running the meeting told Kevin to not use that term, that it was inappropriate. Unfortunately though, someone chuckled the first time he said it, giving Kevin the green light he needed. Kevin felt the need to defend the phrase. The woman running the meeting gives everyone a 5 minute break and takes Kevin out in the hall. She explains to Kevin the extent on why saying that is inappropriate. She told him that most likely at least one woman in the room had been sexually assaulted
Starting point is 00:07:25 and that he should be respectful and not joke around with the word like that. Kevin agreed and said he wouldn't do it again. The meeting starts back up and this time they are all going around the circle telling the stories of their lowest point. It gets to one guy and he tells a tragic story about how he failed at everything in life and eventually tried to kill himself by stepping off a bridge. He survived the fall and noted that he even failed at his own suicide and that was his lowest point. Kevin decided this was the perfect time to chime in. Decided this was the perfect time to chime in. You know, you wouldn't have failed that day if you would have just put on your rape face before you jumped.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Kevin expected laughter. Kevin was kicked out of the meeting. The meeting leader told the judge at drug court what he did. Kevin was sentenced to three days in jail because he wouldn't stop saying rape face. So the only thing I want to know, did Kevin stop saying rape face? Amazingly, we have yet another story from always a misspell about the same Kevin. Okay, so to state what should be obvious, Kevin wasn't much of a lady's man. During high school, Kevin was obsessed with getting laid.
Starting point is 00:08:53 One by one, as he saw each of his friends get girlfriends, he asked himself, why them and not me. I would try to explain that girls don't want to date the poop joke dude who farts everywhere he wins. By the time he took that advice to heart, it was too late for high school prospects. Post high school Kevin became obsessed with working out and got into really good shape. He went to the gym so much he eventually got a job there and that's where he met V. Kevin started giving V rides home because she doesn't have a car and eventually he asked her out. She says yes. Kevin comes to us bragging about his new girlfriend. Of course, we are all extremely interested
Starting point is 00:09:38 in who would actually date Kevin. So we start interrogating him about her. The best part about this whole thing was that when Kevin mentioned she was from Haiti, a good friend of ours immediately joked that she is probably a scam artist. Man, if that joke wasn't prophetic. So these two were a mess from the start. She told Kevin that her parents were ridiculously strict and wouldn't let her date so they would have to keep it a secret. I'm pretty sure that was somewhat true, so they did a lot of sneaking around. At first they could go to Kevin's place. Kevin ruined that when they decided to have
Starting point is 00:10:16 sex while she was on her period. Kevin, in an attempt to prevent stains laid down a towel. His father's fancy monogrammed towels. His father found the towels. Kevin didn't even wash them. Kevin told the truth about why the towels were bloody. Kevin was not allowed to have girls over anymore. A few days later, we invite Kevin over to hang out and when he shows up he is a nasty, sweaty mess with no shirt on. He tries to sit on my buddy's couch and that turned ugly pretty quick. My friend tells Kevin he is not to sit anywhere without putting a shirt on and that it's rude as anything to be that nasty and sit on people's furniture. Kevin was upset. Kevin then goes on to yell about after he was done working out, him and V hooked up in his car, and his shirt was covered in waffle batter.
Starting point is 00:11:13 And with the supreme confidence that he had made his case, he sat down on the couch. He was immediately kicked out of the house. A few more days go by and we run into Kevin again. He explained that V has to pay bills to live with her mom and she was broke and that he was giving her like half his paycheck every week. He wanted us to loan him money. We didn't. We tried to explain to Kevin that he doesn't make enough to pay for this girl's bills.
Starting point is 00:11:44 He didn't listen. Well, over the next few weeks, she bleeds Kevin dry. She loses her job because Kevin couldn't give her rides to work and started asking for even more money. At this point, Kevin is trying to munch off his friends and we tell him we aren't paying for anything to help him out while he is giving all his money to V. Now, we don't know if he finally listened to us or just fell behind on his own bills, but he stopped giving money to V. V, within days of no longer being paid, tells Kevin that her mom found out they were together and they had to break up. Kevin went into panic mode. Kevin begins calling her constantly trying to figure
Starting point is 00:12:26 out a way to be together. Kevin finds out that not only is she breaking up with him, but she was moving a way to be with family in New York City. Kevin explained to all of us that he was moving to New York City to be a bus driver and live with V. We, of course, told him he was an idiot. He, of course, wouldn't listen. A few weeks go by and Kevin saves up about 400 to 500 bucks in order to start a new life in New York City. He then starts begging all of us for a 4 hour round trip ride to a bus station that will take him there. As a joke, some of us said sure, but that we would need gas money knowing he wouldn't pay up. Well, eventually, he guilt's one of us to give him a ride and makes his way to the big
Starting point is 00:13:13 city. He makes it to New York, he finds me. They see each other for about 30 minutes. She asks for a couple hundred dollars. He pays up. She tells him she has to deal with some family stuff and gives Kevin an address to her cousin's house. Tell him he can crash there while they figure out their new life. Kevin makes it to the cousin's house. The guy charges Kevin one hundred dollars to sleep on his floor. Kevin pays up. The next day he calls V. No answer. No answer all day long.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Kevin pays another $100 to sleep on this guy's floor. He calls V. No answer all day. Kevin is now broke. He takes his last bit of money and buys a bus ticket home. Kevin had quit his job. They didn't want him back. Kevin was now girlfriendless, carless, and jobless. If only Kevin would ever listen. My great-grandmother used to say, that boy is so dumb he couldn't find his butt with both hands and his backpockets. I think that applies to this Kevin. And believe it or not, we have another story from always a misspell about this same Kevin. Okay, so this story takes place when Kevin and I were around
Starting point is 00:14:39 13 years old. Kevin calls me one day asking if I want to come over and hang out. I say sure and head over. When I get there, to my delight, I found out Kevin's mom had got Kevin a ton of fireworks from her out of state trip. This included waterproof firecrackers. We set a bunch off, had a blast, then we found some puddles to throw the waterproof ones in. Good fun as well. After a while, we went... This guy. Oh my god. After a while, we went inside for lunch, then his mom went outside to work in the garden. This is when Kevin says to me,
Starting point is 00:15:17 Hey, you know what would be awesome putting a waterproof firecracker in the toilet. Now, at this point in my friendship with Kevin, I started to notice, well, that Kevin was a Kevin and needed someone to look out for him at times. So, instead of doing the childish thing and encourage this blatant error in thought, I tried to dissuade him. I told him I learned that shockwaves are stronger in water and might blow your toilet up. My military dad told me. Kevin said no way. I then told him, you know those old high school movies where kids talk about blowing up the school toilets with cherry bombs?
Starting point is 00:15:59 Well I'm pretty sure that's what these firecrackers are like. Kevin again says no way. But this time, he decided to tack on that he was at a mutual friend's house the day before, and they did it with no issue. Now, I was pretty mad after he said that because I was at the mutual friend's house the day before. I knew he was lying, and I wasn't happy about it. So I said, effing dog, bombs away, Kevin lit the fuse and dropped it in. The toilet cracked
Starting point is 00:16:34 in half. Water went everywhere. All the blood in Kevin's face drained away and he had the look of a man who knew he was about to die. My face on the other hand was beat red from hysterical crying laughter. I must have laughed for at least 10 minutes straight with an occasional I told you so in between. After I calmed down, we went to tell his mom what had happened. Kevin begged her to take the blame. He had recently gotten in trouble with his dad and didn't want to make it worse.
Starting point is 00:17:12 To my disbelief, she agreed. Now, at this point, I'm waiting for my ride, because I'm trying to get the F out before his dad gets home. No luck. Kevin and I quietly hide in his room waiting to hear what happens. His dad spots the toilet. We hear a loud what the f? Kevin's mom comes over and tells him she did it. He asks how. She tells him that she sat down too hard, then silence. About 2 seconds go by without any noise, which to us felt like forever, as we waited to see
Starting point is 00:17:52 if he bought it. Then in the style of the dad, from Alvin and the Chipmunks, we hear his dad yell. Kevin! That was our slash stories about Kevin, and this video is all stories about one particular Kevin, but trust me, that subreddit has many, many more stories about many, many other Kevin. So if you want to see more stories about Kevin, let me know down in the comments. Also I am climbing my way up to 1 million subscribers, so please subscribe to my channel.
Starting point is 00:18:25 It will help me so much. We'll be back with more R-slash content right after this short break. So you think you know sports? Points vet is the sportsbook for you, because we've got the features for true competitors. Like live, same game parliades. Use your sportsmarts to make picks live on the players and teams you're watching. And qualified bets can use our early cashout feature. So you could take your winnings to play live blackjack on the same points bet at.
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Starting point is 00:19:18 Sarah, the contractor is here with the plans. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum. Welcome to our slash choosing beggars. We're a crazy lady tries to argue that she owns your house. Also, if you're new to my channel, please consider subscribing.
Starting point is 00:19:41 I am getting closer and closer to the one million mark and you can help me get there. Our first post is from Anime Slayer Leads. Searching for a photographer for my wedding, here are my requirements, must be willing to do the job for free, must have at least 8 years of experience, must be at the wedding all the time, no breaks, Bring your own food and drink. I feel like this job posting should be titled Wanted Actual Real Life Human Slave.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Our next Reddit post is from college. In search of therapy dog, must be trained, certified, and ideally a chocolate lab. Must be 100% free for an old woman. Jesus says help the elderly. Additionally, the dog must be perfectly behaved, able to calm me down, must pick up items for me, as per my bad back. And must also be spayed, neutered, and shipped. Please PM or comment if you have
Starting point is 00:20:47 a lead. No, must, accepted. Hey Gertrude, I have a dog that meets your requirements. Come pick him up anytime. 951 Broadway Street, Lowell, Massachusetts. Okay, great. Thanks. Headed there now. FU bastard, you sent me to an F-ing animal shelter! Blocked instantly, F-ing creep! I think this lady is better off without a therapy dog. I kind of get the sense that this is the type of woman who wouldn't walk her dog for 12 hours and then scream at the poor pooch for making a mess on the floor. Our next Reddit post is from Hexham's Exy.
Starting point is 00:21:28 That's it, I'm wedding shaming. Shaming a girl I went to high school with. As we all know, the only time people from high school we never talk to anymore ever message us on Facebook is if a, they're part of an MLM and they want you to join them or be, they want something absolutely ridiculous. A girl from high school messages people in an old group we all hung out with. Super sweet. Hi, how are you?
Starting point is 00:21:58 OMG, I miss you. Are you in town? Let's hang out messages. I'm immediately like hmmm. Turned out, she wanted money for her wedding that we weren't even really invited to. Daddy Dearest was willing to pay 10k for the wedding, but no more. The dream wedding she once will be $25,000. She then decides to ask for her dear old friend she finally remembers so well to pay for the wedding.
Starting point is 00:22:35 On her radar in particular is a friend who is now working as a nurse who clearly makes enough money to help pay. When we refuse, she magically drops off the face of the planet. Don't figure. Honestly, I'm surprised she didn't give the classic. Give me $15,000. It can be your wedding gift to me. Our next reddit post is from Kogami.
Starting point is 00:22:58 I got this message from my landlord. Don't cook meals in the kitchen. Please do not cook a big meal in the kitchen because the smoke alarm went off many times. The kitchen is just to eat and warm food. It does not have the capacity to cook for everyone. Just try to use it in a smart way. Basically, this is a dining area not for cooking a really big meal like you used to at your old home. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Followed up by. Also, it would be ideal if you would not sleep in the apartment either. Actually, could you just move out entirely and still send me the rent? Thanks. Our next reddit post is from Rader Gator. Alright, so I have a large, pretty expensive house for sale and it's empty right now. A few weeks ago, my real estate agent calls me asking if I sold the house. I told her clearly she would know as she is the agent.
Starting point is 00:23:59 She then tells me that someone is moving in. I get there after calling 911 and there are two moving trucks and a locksmith is changing the locks and my gate is busted down. I get pretty loud and start telling everyone to get off my property. This lady shows up with documents with my forged signature saying she owns the house. I call her several pages of profane names and tell her to get off. About that time, the cop show up. She starts claiming it's a civil matter and they can't arrest her. Luckily, the cops aren't dumb and arrest her anyways. I think, okay, she tried and failed, she will move on to her next scam.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Apparently not, as I got this letter delivered to me Monday as a part of a large package of documents. Google the entity at the top of their document and you will get some insight into their mindset. All right, so this is the full legal document that this crazy lady sent to OP. I've read through the whole thing and it's really dense and hard to get through because it's written in like lawyer speak, but I'm going to share the most bizarre parts with
Starting point is 00:25:14 you. Dear Blank, I Blank a more national in full life than a bunch of numbers. Stand on Article 6, the Constitution for the United States. I demand you release my land and home back to me, latitude blank, longitude blank, with the demands. One, arranged to have my property moved back into my domicile. Two, reset all door locks and the gate. 3. Have the yard cut, flower bed and scrubs cut and cleaned, detailed to my liking. 4. Have the pool cleaned and 5.
Starting point is 00:25:54 If any damages to the home or land has occurred, it will be the responsibility of OP at all to repair. Hahaha. Oh, what? at all to repair. What? So out of curiosity, I did a little bit of investigation about this woman's document. First off, I looked up Article 6 of the Constitution, and I was expecting it to be something involving like land rights or property. Nope. Article 6 of the Constitution basically says that the Constitution is the most important legal document and that no other laws should violate the Constitution.
Starting point is 00:26:30 So literally what this woman is saying is the Constitution of America is really, really important. Therefore I own your house. Also I looked up this group of Morris Nationals and basically there are group of people who have basically just decided Hey, I don't like government so therefore government laws don't apply to me. So in essence, they can just make up their own laws And in this case the law is kimi your house you loser How can people think this is actually gonna work? loser. How can people think this is actually gonna work? Also, I feel obligated to point out that this document is signed with a bloody fingerprint.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Our next Reddit post is from Wasbulet. And in this post, OP is talking to someone that he met two weeks ago. Can I borrow your car next week? and do you think you could have it all gased up? Sorry dude, I need it to get to work. But dude, I already planned a whole week with my girlfriend. And you didn't think to ask to borrow my car beforehand? Just rent one if you have to. Dude, I'm gonna end up using almost all my money on hotels and stuff over the week. I just need it for a week. And I need it so I can make money over the week. Effie you greedy grunt.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I mean, I was gonna recommend a friend I have who has two cars and only uses one. I'm sorry, I just snapped. I don't know what came over me. What's the friend's number? I'm not giving it to you now. Effing grunt, rooster sucking greedy jerk, I hope the police find you did in a ditch. I'm blocking you now. Lull, thanks for the free reddit karma.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Clearly this guy is trying the wrong approach. He should have gone with, give me my car because of the constitution. Our next reddit post is from Willow 17. I do not understand why when you want someone to take pictures of you they insist on payment. I just want a decent picture of me and my child and I don't want to have to pay someone for it. Now anyone with the effing camera thinks they have a career and it's infuriating. I will not pay $75 to take five pictures of me and my child. I won't. That's ridiculous." Our next post is from Aftershock416. Roughly a week ago, I was involved in one of the most
Starting point is 00:29:12 ridiculous cases of a choosing beggar I've ever witnessed. Or read on this sub. The original scene went down in Afrikaans, so excuse me if the phrasing is a bit off. Me and my brother are both working adults and and live in a city about a 3 hour drive from the town my parents live in. Our parents were on their way back from a short holiday last weekend, and as it was Mother's Day and it had been a while since we last saw them, my brother and I asked them to make a slight detour on the way back so we could treat my mom to lunch. We don't usually make a big fuss out of Mother's Day, but as my brother and I had missed my
Starting point is 00:29:47 mom's birthday two weeks prior due to unrelated work obligations, we conspired with my dad to get her a modest gift from each of us as a sort of belated birthday thing. So as we arrive at the restaurant, there were warm greetings and hugs all around, and we hand my mom the relatively small gifts, two neatly wrapped, and the other in a gift bag. Just to be clear, there wasn't any opening of gifts tearing the paper or anything like that. We were all peripherally aware of a child screaming in the background, but as it was a fairly
Starting point is 00:30:18 family-friendly restaurant, we didn't pay it any mind. Only the screaming gets ever closer, and soon we find a woman with a screaming and sobbing child who looked to be around 6 or 7 standing at our table. Excuse me, she demands. You can't just go around doing this sort of thing in public. Puzzled glances all around, wondering what the heck she was referring to. I share a look at my brother, seeing him mouth what I realized in hindsight was the name Karen. Because man, if she didn't fit the stereotype perfectly, haircut and all.
Starting point is 00:30:56 I'm sorry, what my brother asks in genuine bafflement? Opening gifts in public! She spits in a way that suggests we might as well have been fornicating at the table. Now he's crying since he didn't get anything. She continues with a vague gesture at the sniffling, slaubring, red-eyed child who looks like he ran a foul
Starting point is 00:31:20 of three different strains of bronchitis. I was stunned, speechless by the sheer tamarity of the woman. But across the table, my dad is visibly winding himself up to give this woman the tongue-lashing of the century. Being the peacemaker that she is, my mom intercedes. Clearly wishing to prevent the scene, my dad or I were likely to cause. As it so happens, she had a small packet of chocolates which they had gotten from the guest house they were staying at, in her handbag. So contrary to what likely anyone else would have done, my mom reaches into the bag and
Starting point is 00:31:55 hands the small boy the packet across the table. The tears dry up momentarily and he stares at it. Before angrily throwing up to the ground and resuming the sobs. He screams incoherently and gestures at the rap gifts which are sitting on the table on the empty seat to my mom's left. I think you should rather give him one of those, the woman nonchalantly says, and starts reaching across the table to grab one, which, funnily enough, contained a somewhat expensive hand cream my mom likes, and would have been far less useful to a child than the
Starting point is 00:32:31 chocolates were, though I wouldn't have put it past him to try eating it. At this point, I grabbed her arm around the wrist to prevent her from grabbing the gift. Definitely not hard enough to bruise, but I thought I would get the point across. It didn't. She rears back and attempts to slap me for tearing to lay my hands on a woman. I'm not exactly able to effectively defend myself from a sitting position, so I get up. I'm a pretty big guy at around 6'4 and 240l pounds and she was a relatively small woman. So I towered over her quite a bit. Contrary to what one so often reads on Reddit, this
Starting point is 00:33:12 didn't seem to deter her in the slightest and she proceeds to attempt to inflict some sort of harm on me with mad flailing, though I was easily able to keep her at arm's length. At this point, the staff get involved and two waiters pull the woman who's screaming and hissing by this point away from the table. The manager gets involved and there's a lot of screaming and yelling from both the woman and her child. As one might expect, she immediately starts making ridiculous accusations, which get absolutely no traction. As there had been about two dozen other people who had watched the whole thing go down. She's eventually firmly asked to leave the premises before the police get involved,
Starting point is 00:33:56 and we get offered free dessert as compensation. Definitely the first time in my life I see someone act that crazy first hand. Happy to supply a story after lurking here for ages. Our next reddit posted from Zeke14 and on this story the person who made the post received $5,500 in donations from online strangers. Dear town, only Kenny, Blink and a couple other kind people sent me a donation to help save my daughter. My dog, mostly complete strangers helped us. What did I do to deserve such disrespect?
Starting point is 00:34:37 Are you telling me no one else in the Blank Click could spare an F&$ or two for our little GoFundMe campaign. Very selfish, non-compassionate people and little town. Little mind's sucky character. You all broke my wife's heart and my heart. That's why I unfriended most of you. But you know, karma is a bee, a 300 pound pissed off Cherokee slash Italian bee. One who never forgets those who don't reach out to help, even modestly, in my time of need. Anyone who wants to argue the point with me, contact Lois for my address. But you
Starting point is 00:35:27 had better be right with your family and Jesus and have your plot in St. Nicholas Cemetery reserved because I don't play FN Games. And then OP posts a picture of himself trying to look intimidating and failing. That was our slash-choosing beggars, and if I can invoke choosing beggars for a moment, I demand that you hit that subscribe button. I work hard on these videos, and I deserve a gold play button. So subscribe to my channel, or I'm calling the police.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Please.

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