rSlash - r/Talesfromtechsupport "DELETE MY ACCOUNT NOW!" "lol ok"

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

r/Talesfromtechsupport In today's episode, OP is working tech support and gets a call from a particularly nasty Karen who immediately starts making crazy demands. When OP explains that she's making impossible requests, the Karen flips out and orders OP to delete her account... her whole account, including the back-ups of all her data. Sure thing, ma'am! I'll delete all of your extremely important business information right away! Be careful what you wish for Karen, because you just might get it! If you enjoyed this content and want more, subscribe to my channel for more daily Reddit videos! Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGW8woq-2tw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your business has grown fast, from opening your first location to planning an expansion in no time. And with your business platinum card from American Express, you can access spending power and payment flexibility to fuel your growth. Sarah, the contractor is here with the plans. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply visit mx.ca slash business platinum Welcome to our slash a podcast where I read the best post from across Reddit today's episode is from our slash tails from tech support Where have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again? I hope you'll forgive me for a third-hand story But I'm one of those evil developers,

not a support per se, but I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague. So our hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went. Can I see your driver's license please? Our hero with a smug grin. Certainly, here it is, officer. The cop takes a license back to the motorcycle and speaks into the radio. It's not going to help you any though. What do you mean? Our hero grins even wider. The server you have to check it against is down. And why do you say that? Because I'm the guy they called to get on-site and get it up again. Our hero did not get to find this time. Instead, he got a police escort to

his workplace. Our next reddit post is from Svestefes. I witnessed this astounding IT meltdown around 2004 in a large academic organization. An employee decided to send a broad solicitation about her need for a local apartment. She happened to discover and use an all employees at org.edu type of email address that included everyone. And by everyone, I mean, every employee in a 30,000 employee academic institution. Everyone from the CEO on down,

everyone from the CEO on down. Everyone from the CEO on down received this lady's apartment inquiry. Of course, this kicked off the usual round of, why am I getting this and take me off the list and OMG everyone stop replying responses. Each reply all to all employees at org.edu, so 30,000 new messages. Email started to bog down as a half million messages operated into mailboxes. IT fail number one. Not necessarily making an all employees at org.edu email address, that's quite reasonable, but granting unrestricted access to it. Rather than configuring the mail server to check the sender and generate a not-the-ceo equals

not authorized reply, that wasn't the real problem. That incident might have simmered down after people stopped responding. In a 30,000 person organization, lots of people go on vacation, and some of them, let's say 20, remember to set their email to auto-respond about their absence. And the auto-responders responded to the same recipients, including all employees at org.edu. So every, I don't care about your apartment message, didn't just generate 30,000 copies of itself. It also generated 30,000 times 20 equals 600,000 new messages. Yeah.

Even the avalanche of apartment messages became drowned out by the volume of, I'll be gone till November, auto replies. That also wasn't the real problem, which again might have died down all by itself. The real problem was that the mail servers were quite diligent. The auto responders didn't just send one I'm a way message. They sent an I'm a way message in response

to every incoming message, including the I'm a way messages of the other auto responders. The auto response avalanche converted the entire mail system into an agent smith like replication factory of a way messages, as autoresponders incessantly informed not just every employee, but also each other about employee status. The email systems melted down. Everything went offline. A 30,000 person-wide enterprise suddenly had no email for about 24 hours. That's not the end of the story. The IT staff busied themselves

with mucking out the mailboxes from these millions of messages and deactivating the auto responders. They brought the email system back online and their first order of business was to send out an email explaining the cause of the problem, etc. And they addressed the notification email to all employees at org.edu. ITFail number two. Before they sent their message, they had disabled most of the auto responders, but they missed at least one. More specifically, they missed at least two.

OP, can't just leave us hanging. Did she find an apartment? Our next Reddit post is from Goatwomble. This story took place about six years ago, and it was my second week into a new job with a web hosting company. I'd taken a call from a customer, we'll call our Karen, about some problem with the hosting service she had with us. I took a look and determined that whilst there was an issue, the fault lay with her CMS

and wasn't anything we could fix. I'm sorry, Karen. The issue has to do with WordPress, and unfortunately, we can't assist with fixing this. However, I can send some links which may help you fix it, or you can ask your developer to look into it further. That's not good enough. I'm paying you $10 a month, and I expect you to fix problems like this. Not tell me to go away and deal with it myself. I'm sorry you feel that way. However, that

$10 pays for the server space. Well, gladly help fix anything server side that's interfering with your proper operation of your site. But we're not responsible for the software itself. Well, if you're not going to fix it, just delete my Epping account right now. Okay, I can do that, but it may be easier. Stop arguing with me and delete my account. Clearly, my $10 a month means nothing to you. Go on, hurry up and terminate my account if you don't value me as a customer. I can do that for you. Before I do, I need to ask if you have a backup of your data. As once I process this, it's gone for good.

No, just delete my account now. I expect an email telling me it's done. Click. She hung up, and I sat there wondering what to do. I thought about sitting on it, but she was quite clear with her instructions. Delete her account. Karen had already run through the identity verification questions and had requested, demanded, a cancellation.

I took a backup of her account as insurance and processed the termination. I also created a ticket with appropriate notes and emailing Karen to tell her that the termination requests have been taken care of. I went home not long after that, but the next day I came into work and was immediately called in to speak to a manager. It turned out that Karen was notorious for this kind of thing. She demand we do things beyond our scope, and scream and cry and threaten until someone said, okay, we'll do it.

She's gotten used to other staff members doing whatever she demanded, then she expected we'd bend over backwards. If she ever heard the word no, she threatened to cancel the service and go elsewhere. It seemed that other reps who just fixed whatever problem in order to stop her tantrums and get rid of her. I was the first in a long line to tell her no, and the only one who would ever follow through on actually terminating her account. My manager said, you're not in trouble, don't worry, you did everything correctly. I've had Karen on the phone all morning squawking about her website. Oh, by the way, did you happen to take a backup of her account?

Yep, it's on my computer. The manager said, deleted and pretended it never existed. And that's the story of how I destroyed Karen's business website. God, I'm trying to imagine how I would feel if someone deleted my YouTube channel. This Karen got what's coming to her. This post had a heaping dose of R-slash malicious compliance. This NBA season make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with fan-dual.

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Our next Reddit post is from Rocky Moose. Background I owned a small software company. The non-profit down the hall asked us if we could donate an hour once a week to help with IT. Active Directory and Exchange stuff. The manager there was a friend of mine from outside work. I agreed, since it felt like a nice pro bono thing to do for a cause I supported, and she promised to be a gatekeeper. And for a long while, it worked out quite well. Once a week, one of us would walk down the hall to their suite, and she'd give us a small list of IT honeydews. We'd even get cookies. She did a great job of keeping users under control and appreciated our donation of time and

expertise. It was good karma. Then she left the organization. Stupidly, I thought nothing would change. So I go down there a couple weeks later for the usual IT and cookies. Karen is moving offices and needs help moving her computer. Damn it Jim, I'm a software developer not a moving company goes through my head. Nevertheless, I help unplug everything from her standard desktop size workstation. I say to her, I'm going to need your help carrying everything to your new office. I explain that I'm recovering from surgery and simply cannot carry heavy objects. She's

miffed, but helps me get a cart and remove the computer. This is back in the days of heavy, large CRT-19-inch monitors. The ones that weigh close to 50 pounds. There's already an identical monitor, same brand, same size in the new location. What about the monitor, she says? I've plugged the computer into the monitor that's already in your new office. It's identical. But I went MY monitor, she points at the old one. Like I said, I can't carry heavy items. It's easier if you just move all your post-it notes from your old monitor to your new one. That's not my job, she says.

That's your job, move the monitor. And that was the effort I quit moment. I just lost it. Karen, this is very decidedly not my job. I volunteer my time here. I already told you that I'm recovering from surgery and I'm not moving a 50 pound monitor for the same reason you won't. It's too heavy, you're on your own. I walk out super pissed.

The following morning, I go in again to talk to the executive director. I explain that we can't help with IT anymore, we have to focus on our own business and would not be donating any more time. I offered a sin one of my colleagues down just to finish hooking up Karen's computer, but he would not be moving any heavy objects, and I'd be happy to recommend an IT consultant company for ongoing support. Of course, they have no choice, so that's what happens. And the best part, when my coworker comes back from the last task, he tells me, guess

what? I oblige, what? She moved the monitor. I can't believe it. Apparently, she figured out a way to haul that 50-pound monstrosity of a monitor to her new desk. What happened to the monitor that was already there, I ask? It's still there. She asked me to move it to the old office. Now, these old CRT monitors are huge. There's barely enough room on a standard office cube desk for one of them, let alone too. Tell me you didn't move it, I plead.

No effing way, he says. She barely has enough room now in that tiny desk for beanie babies and telephone. I still get goosebumps at the thought of care and sitting there with two ginormous monitors on her desk around a bi-posted notes and stuffed animals. So yeah, I have a good appreciation for the folks who have to deal with this stuff on a regular basis. Man, this feels like some sort of crossover episode. The last story had our slash malicious compliance energy, and this one has our slash choosing

beggars energy. Our next reddit postage from Wizardling. About 14 years ago, an older non-techie couple who are about to move to a nicer house within a small country town. I live in a nearby city where they used to live before they were retired to the country, which is how they know me. And as for my advice, regarding their computer setup, which would have one computer near a pre-existing phone jack. And another across the other side of the house, with several thick walls in between. While I figured the right Wi-Fi setup would do the trick, since the couple were having their new home renovated anyway, I suggested having the electrician run network cable between the two locations, using

the easily available ceiling cavity, and to the intended location of their home entertainment setup as well, while they were at it. Wired is, and my expert opinion, always faster, more reliable, cheaper, and easier if you're renovating or building anyway. Fast forward to after renovations and they moved in. I visit to setup networking between their computers, except I can't locate any of the expected network jacks. I asked the couple, which involved explaining what I meant again. I told them that it looked like a larger phone jack. The gentleman takes me over to the actual phone jack and

points at it. I tell them that's a phone Jack and I explain yet again what a network Jack is and looks like. So he takes me back over to the very same phone Jack and points at it once more. Rince, Wash, repeat this farce a third time. The lady then gets cranky with the gentleman and a small argument ensues between them in front of me. I sense this kind of thing has happened many, many times before. They're so casual about it. Long story short, it turned out not only were no network jacks ever put in, but no network cabling was run either. And the gentleman seemed to suggest that he'd pay the electrician for something he hadn't gotten.

Though given his confusion, who knows what he told the electricians? Our next Reddit post is from Reddit Save My Again. So a few years back, one of my publishers called me into help with an emergency project. Basically, me translating and editing a huge body of boring text. And it had to be done in the office because it was a key national project. In the office, there was a girl about my age who was relatively new. She just sat there all week working intensely, but slowly, mumbling and looking stressed. On the second to last day of my project were alone in the office, I make some comments

about, ugh, this is so incredibly tedious. And she says something to the effect of, you're telling me. We talk for a bit and I explain what I'm doing, and I say, wait, what are you doing? Apparently, for an equally huge book, someone really high up in government decided he didn't like a bunch of specific terms they made up for a project. So at the last minute, he hands over a list of 40 or so, and they all need to be swapped out. She's been at this for like eight days.

I'm thinking, okay, that's like an hour of work at the most if it's all in one big file. Wait a minute. Oh no. And I say, uh, can you show me how you're doing this? She finds a word, pace over it manually, next, find, paste, next. I say, uh, don't use Control-F, use Control-H. What's that? Control-F is find, control-H is find, and replace.

But that's what I'm already doing. Look, just try. I just do it, you'll see. She pops it up, kind of speaking to herself. What's this? Find in source text, target Text, Replace, Replace all? She starts mumbling to herself. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh no. Oh my god. Why? Oh my god. Oh no. And crying softly. P-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-