rSlash - r/TIFU By Accidentally Becoming a Ghost! 👻

Episode Date: November 13, 2021

r/TIFU In today's episode, OP recalls a story from his teenage years when he was hanging out in the woods with his buddies during Halloween. OP and his friends becomes spooked when two people approach their campsite, so they run to hide in the woods. OP eventually decides to scare off the newcomers, which results in an absurd series of events that ends with the entire town believing that the forest is haunted by ghosts! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, a podcast where I read the best posts from a cross-reddit. Today's subreddit is R-slash today I F-Dup, where OP accidentally becomes the town's ghost. Today I F-Dup by accidentally starting my hometown's ghost legend. When I was a teenager, my friends and I used to hang out in this one spot in the woods to drink. We live in a small town, so there wasn't exactly much else to do. On Halloween night of 2016, we dressed up to take a couple of our younger siblings trick-or-treating, then delivered them home and went to the woods to get drunk. I was dressed as a mummy, and my friends were woody from Toy Story, a witch, Amy Pond from Dr.

Who, a pirate, and Batman. Once we'd gotten to our spot in the woods and started drinking, Batman revealed that he had obtained some weed. None of us apart from Batman and Amy Pond had actually ever smoked weed before, but we decided to go for it. After a while of drinking and smoking weed, Woody wandered off to pee, but he quickly came back to us whisper yelling that there was cops coming. We rushed to put out our fire and grab our stuff, and we scattered and hid just as we heard voices and saw flashlight beams. I, as a mummy, was entirely wearing wide, so I was worried about being visible even in the pitch dark. I basically flatten myself to the ground under the thickest bush that I could find,

and started achingly slowly unraveling my bandages and stuffing them into my back. As I was doing this, I was occasionally hearing muffled giggles and rustling from my friends who were definitely too high to take the situation seriously. As I started hearing what the cops were saying, I realized they were getting spooked by my friends noises. Then I heard a loud thud followed by scuttling, which I later learned was Batman who had climbed a tree, fell out, and then ran to a new hiding spot. That was followed by, what was that? What the F was that?

Dude, did you see that? That wasn't a person man, that was an F-ing shadow person or something. This apparently caused Batman. This apparently caused Batman, who was physically holding his nose and mouth close to stop himself from giggling to let it out a loud snort, startling the cops. I took the opportunity to tear off my remaining bandages and sprint away, and my friends followed suit. We eventually met up, and as we were laughing about our escape, Amy Pund was telling us

who she thought the cops were based on their voices. Spoiler, they weren't real cops, they were juniors at our school, and going by what we know about them now, they were probably also on something. Batman suddenly went serious and said, guys, I left my backpack there. Wait hold on, I should use my Batman voice for this. Guys, I left my backpack there! His backpack which, of course, had his ID in it, along with several empty beer cans and some weed.

The witch, who was the only one of us who could drive at the time, offered to go by in the morning before school and get it. Batman mentioned that she may have to do some searching, because in his panic, he had literally flung the backpack away from him, and he wasn't sure which direction it had gone. The witch couldn't find it before school, so later Batman and I went to go and search. It was starting to get dark again when we noticed the backpack had managed to get stuck up a tree. I went off to try to find a long stick to poke it down while Batman decided

to attempt to climb the tree because that had worked so well last time. And then I heard the approaching voices. The guys from the night before had brought some friends, and they were trying to convince them that there was definitely something creepy out there. There was one voice that I recognized, my next door neighbor, and he was a bit of a dick. The last thing I wanted was for him to knock on me to my parents that I was hanging out in the woods at night instead of at a friend's house being supervised by their parents. Especially if they found Batman's backpack and saw empty beer cans and weed. So the only solution that I, a moron, could come up with, was to sweep my long hair over

my face in a bizarre homage to the ring, let out the most unholy screech I could muster and run towards them. Somehow this worked! They ran, at least far enough away that Batman and I could get away. Batman had surprisingly managed to get his backpack. A few days later, we started hearing rumors around the school about the woods being haunted. People said that if you went there at night, you could hear the whispering and moving around of people who weren't there and see shadowy figures moving in the corner of your eye.

As well as the screaming ghost of a little girl, which is frankly offensive. I'm not that short. Apparently, they'd found bandages covered in dried blood, which were just dirty. Come on, guys. Later, other started claiming they'd seen shadowy figures in the woods too, and even the screaming ghost. I don't know if it was their imagination imagination or if they were lying, or if there was genuinely some people taking advantage of the ghost type and going out pretending to be ghosts. Probably a combination of all three. It's been five years, and the ghost rumors persisted. It's mostly kids from school that talk about it, but I've heard adults claim that they've seen ghosts there too. My friends and I don't have the heart to admit what actually happened,

even though we're all adults now, and our parents can't yell at us for hanging out in the woods, drinking and smoking weed. It's kind of hilarious hearing people talk about the crazy stuff they've seen in the woods when I know that it's definitely BS. It makes me wonder if this is how most ghost stories get started.

A bunch of idiots messing around and spooking some people who are probably tripping, and everyone else just making stuff up or their overactive imagination showing them what they expect to see. OP, I'm not sure how this is a screw up. You basically created your own urban legend with your friends. That's an awesome story. Today I have to, by kissing my deaf friend. Hi there, I'm a 22 year old guy. I met a girl through a mutual friend. We've known each other for roughly a year, but we haven't spent time alone yet because

we're always in a group. She's really sweet and pretty. She's not completely deaf. She can still hear a bit with the help of hearing aids. So I guess she has mild deafness, I'm not sure though. Yesterday we met up with our mutual friends to have a barbecue. Later on we ran out of snacks so the other two went to the grocery store. We were alone in the yard just chatting.

Now, I noticed that she kept staring at my lips, so I thought to myself, does she want to kiss me? Since she didn't stop staring, I thought that it was obvious. This time, I was not going to miss a hint. I leaned in to give her a kiss. I mean, she did kind of kiss me back, but afterwards, it was like dead silence. Thank God the other two friends arrived a few minutes later. The rest of the evening was super awkward between us. Later, as she left, I told the other two friends that I

had kissed her because she kept staring at my lips. They started laughing, saying, of course she's staring at your lips, she was lip-reading. Man, I totally forgot that deaf people also use lip-reading to communicate, and since she's never actually done that before, I didn't take that into consideration. This will definitely be one of the moments that'll make me stay up at night in cringe. Plus, I probably ruined the friendship. Then, oh my god, thank you. OP posted an update. make me stay up at night in cringe. Plus, I probably ruined the friendship. Then, oh my god, thank you, OP posted an update. Okay guys, I sent her a message asking if she wants to come over, and she said she would

be over in about an hour. I am so nervous, and I'm trying to convince my roommate to go on a long walk. I didn't tell her beforehand that I wanted to talk to her about the kiss, so it was a bit awkward approaching the topic. I told her that I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable and that I misread the signs. We had a good laugh. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd be down to maybe try things out if she was interested. The thing is, she's moving out of the country in a few months, and she told me that while she does like me, she doesn't want to pursue anything romantic because she doesn't want

to get too attached because she's moving anyways She admitted to liking me a lot and would love to give a shot despite the circumstances But only under the condition that I'm being serious about it since she doesn't want something that's only casual We're gonna go on a date on Tuesday and we'll just see if it works out between us. Oh, P during the story when you said After I kissed her it was did silence. Was that some kind of after I kissed her, it was DID silence. Was that some kind of awkward dad joke because it was kind of funny? Today's podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. My podcast platform has this neat little graph that shows me my listener demographics,

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Today I effed up because I convinced my dad who's adopted to let me help him research his family and I broke his heart. My dad is 62 and was adopted. He's been watching a lot of TV shows involving long-loss family recently, so I encouraged him quite persistently to start some investigations into his own family. I did most of the research, and I managed to obtain his adoption paperwork, and also found the last known address of his birth mother. So we wrote to the address stating that we were working on a family tree, and does this person still live here, we gotta reply that said, Please do not contact me again. I'm 82 and I just want a quiet life.

I wish you all the best in life. Signed from his birth mother. Now my dad is dealing with the rejection again and is really upset. And I wish that I never pushed the issue. He seemed so lost and deflated. He almost certainly wouldn't have been able to carry out the research without my help. I'm so sorry Dad. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this story from Noodle Balls Wood, which is really sweet.

I was adopted at birth, and I can relate to how your dad feels. I'd like to add, in case he hasn't been able to verbalize it yet, that for many people who are adopted, having their own children feels an unmistakable void they have in their own life. It's hard to describe, but when I first saw my daughter, the first person in my life I met with my blood, I had an unreal and unexpected reaction. I simply wept. That moment is monumental for all fathers, but in my case, this tiny girl mended a hole in my heart that I neglected to acknowledge existed.

My daughter and I talk about it now that she's a teenager, and it's a special bond between us. I'm sharing this story to say this. You did nothing wrong. Your father's history is your history too. But in the end, if your father's like me, then you're everything that he needs. Today I effed up by hooking up with the best man and causing myself literal heartbreak. I was at my dear friend's wedding this weekend, and it was my first time meeting the best man

in person, though we worked together over Zoom for the last year. We hit it off, and we ended up dancing and talking most of the night, and when things wound down, I went back to his hotel room, and yada yada yada. And it was really good. But after finishing, I started having literal heart pains, chest palpitations, dizziness, I couldn't breathe. That had never happened to me before, and in that moment, I wasn't sure if I was having a panic attack or a heart episode, and then I remembered that I was on medication that can cause heart problems. I had two EKGs back in August to monitor it, and everything was fine, so I had forgotten about it, and then I realized that I hadn't done anything as cardio-intense as passionately

hugging since before I started the meds. The best man was absolutely lovely. He rupt in my back, calmed me down, and talked through what was happening. I couldn't sleep for hours, but it finally died down, and we got some semi-rest. We both feel like zombies in the morning saying goodbye to everyone, and I make an appointment to see my doctor for another EKG stat. Well, the EKG was today, and after explaining the situation to the nurse and getting the test done, a doctor comes in with

four medical students in tow. I hear you had a cardiac episode during passionate hugging. Tell me about that. Kill me now. I'm so glad that I was wearing a mask because I'm sure that I was bright red with embarrassment. I'm sure the medical students were glad for their masks embarrassment. I'm sure the medical students were glad for their masks too. I don't know how anyone could keep a straight face. After I melted into the floor and died, they told me the EKG was normal, but I had to go see a cardiologist ASAP. So I have to take off work to tell this story to another doctor tomorrow and probably get stressed tested until I'm cleared to do cardio again.

Which I hope is soon because the best man is coming to visit next week. I feel like for the rest of that guy's life, he's going to tell anyone who will listen that he's so good in the bed that he nearly killed a woman with his body parts. Today I effed up by smelling my feet and ending up in the ER. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes my feet are a little bit smelly. Some of my friends and family have lovingly said that my feet are odorally challenged. I wash them in the shower every day and I try all these fancy creams, but none of it seems to really help. And at this point, I've just accepted that I'm naturally a sting food, and I'll have

to live my life with a constant faint corn chip aroma wafting from my toes. I live alone, and when I'm in my apartment I prefer not to wear socks or shoes. This is occasionally a point of contention with my girlfriend, who visits often and insists that I at least wear socks when she comes over. It's mostly fun banter, where she teases me for my feet smelling, and I tease her for a loud burp or something like that. But sometimes, after a particularly long day, the foot factory releases emissions that would surely get me fined by the EPA, which my girlfriend rightfully hates.

Yesterday she came over for dinner. It was a nice day, so we decided to get delivery from one of our favorite restaurants and eat on the balcony. Well, I'm at home, and I've already liberated my tootsies from their food prisons, and I figured it'd be nice to set the table with some flowers for my lady. I was outside setting up when she arrived, and she came outside to greet me. Immediately, she smelled my feet and recoiled and disgust. It was the most dramatic reaction ever. Fake vomiting, fake crying, she was really hamming it up as part of our banter. I have gone a bit noseblind to them over the years, so I lean against the railing to balance and go to smell them myself to see how bad they were.

This was my mistake. I'm a burly guy, and this poor railing couldn't handle my equally over dramatic reaction of throwing my head back and screaming, so it gave way. Luckily, I'm only on the second floor, so I only fell maybe 25 feet, but it felt like it lasted a solid minute. It was at least long enough of a fall for me to reflect on the situation, and feel like an idiot for dying from smelling my own feet. The aftermath is a fractured rib and dislocated shoulder and my girlfriend never letting me live this one down. Too long didn't read.

Smelled my feet, railing went yeet, almost died, and now I feel like sheet. Then down in the comments, Cory Doran asks, did you manage to put your socks and shoes back on after your fall or should we feel bad for the ER folks who had to smell your feet? Opie replies, I guess I should send them an apology fruit basket, huh? Today I effed up by visiting Auschwitz while Ilan formed. A few years ago, my uncle invited my friend and myself along to a trip to Poland. He was planning on visiting Auschwitz I and Auschwitz-Berkenall. I said yes, because I felt that it was important for me to learn about the details of what

went on. I was still quite young, and I'd only learned more general information about the war in the camps, and I never really bothered to do my own research. You know how it goes. Let me set the scene a little bit here. The morning up had arrived, and we were all ready to go. I was unsure of the weather. It was hot and humid, but it would likely rain later and cool down quite a bit.

My friend looks at me and goes, are you gonna wear that? And I say yes, thinking that the shirt's probably warm enough in case it does get colder, so I won't even need to bring a jacket. Alright then, off we go. We get to the first camp and the tour begins. It was fascinating and horrifying, but I suppose that's to be expected. As our group makes its way through the camp, I'm surprised by how much information is completely new to me, and how much worse it was than I had initially learned.

At some point, we go into the building where they show the suitcases, shoes, hair, things like that. I think we were about halfway into the tour where they show the suitcases, shoes, hair, things like that. I think we were about halfway into the tour, which would make it a few hours total. I was staying close by the tour guide so I could hear him better, and the guide then leads us into the room where they showcase the Prisoner's uniforms. It was at this point that I realized that I screwed up. I'm standing next to the tour guide and the prisoner's uniforms absolutely mortified. The shirt that I was wearing looked exactly like the prisoner's uniforms.

I had no idea that this was what my friend tried to warn me about, and I had bleach blonde hair and blue eyes to boot. When we got outside, I asked why no one said anything before we left. My friend said that she did say something, so she figured that I knew and that I was trying to make some sort of statement. Hadn't I ever seen the boy in the Stripe Pajamas? I hadn't. Nor any other type of media that showed the uniforms or other details of prison or life.

Somehow, I managed to avoid the specific detail for 18 years or so, and it would come back to bite me. I was stuck feeling like a butthole for the rest of the day. Too long didn't read. I visited Auschwitz and I accidentally cosplayed as a prisoner. Oh my god. Oh man, down in the comments we have this post from the nog. Could have been worse.

You could have accidentally cosplayed as a guard. That was our slashashJudy. I effed up, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.