rSlash - r/TIFU by Cucking My Boss

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Goth girl 4:00 Comment 4:16 Misunderstood 6:20 Comment 6:35 BJ 8:03 Comments 9:20 Sleeping with my boss 12:28 Milf 13:31 Popular feed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Welcome to r slash Today I F'd Up, where OP attempts to get a big titty goth girlfriend. Today I F'd Up by trying to bang a goth baddie and my wife found out. I'm a 31 year old guy and my wife is 32 and we're in a healthy and happy relationship. That said, we've been together since high school so we both feel that we missed out a little by being each other's only sexual experiences. We talked about this at length

and decided a few years ago that we're okay having a few hall passes in our relationship, since we very much intend to stay together the rest of our lives and don't want any resentment over missed possibilities. Plus, it's pretty rare that we could even find such an opportunity, as it's a little hard to find hookups when you're in a committed marriage and don't go out much. We've even given each other advance approval in case a situation arises, as long as we're safe about it and tell each other immediately afterwards. We've both used one hall pass, each was someone that we knew well enough but would never see again, and no issue came of it.

In fact, it's only made us more secure in our relationship and how much we genuinely appreciate being with each other. Recently, I had to travel to London for work. I don't normally get to travel for work, so I decided to make a trip out of it and spend a few extra days of my own time in the city after the project was done. My wife couldn't join because she didn't have any vacation time left, but was very supportive of me taking some time to explore since I've never been to London and she has.

Being cheap and being a pretty outgoing guy when I'm so inclined, I decided to stay in a hostel. I was interested in meeting other travelers since I didn't know anyone in the city and loved being sociable with new people. I chatted with several of the people staying there, and in particular a very attractive French girl, mid-twenties, who dressed super goth. For context, I love the goth girl look. I've been sucked into the goth girlfriend propaganda online, much to the annoyance of my wife.

It isn't her style. But she's been nice enough to cater to me by putting on a sexy goth outfit on occasion, since she knows it's a huge fantasy of mine. Still, I pester her constantly to be more goth because I enjoy it so much. Anyways, I ended up spending a little bit of time with goth French baddie. We both went to the Hostel's Happy Hour event and hit it off there. I found out that she was recently single and was in London for an art show. It turns out that we're both into emo music, and we talked about our favorite bands.

I had the thought that she was acting a bit flirty towards me, but didn't think too much of it until later I found myself sharing a sink with her in the hostel bathroom. The hostel was co-ed, so each floor had a small shared bathroom with a communal sink, and a door that was meant to be kept open, but which people frequently close for the sake of having more privacy than just a stall to shower in. So I'm brushing my teeth while chatting up to the real life version of Shadowheart, who mind you is wearing an extremely low cut top, when she suddenly closes the bathroom door behind us.

In my mind, my wildest fantasy is about to come true. It's even more exciting because of the adrenaline rush of being in a semi-public setting and a girl being so into me that she would make such a bold move. I can't believe this is actually happening to me. I instantly get hard. Then she turns around and asks, are you interested in learning about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? She had me cornered for 10 minutes trying to talk me into salvation while I grew increasingly despondent and immensely disappointed, with the whiplash of going from what would have been one of the crowning moments of my life to pure and utter dejection. When I told my wife this story, she laughed for a solid hour.

She said it's karma for annoying her about wanting a goth girlfriend. Haha, this is common from Dr. Cortex. Not the kind of missionary you had in mind, eh? Also, what makes this so fitting is if you don't know, Shadowheart is a character from Baldur's Gate 3 and she is literally a cleric of her chosen deity. So this Shadowheart girl is fittingly very religious. Today I effed up by misunderstanding my gynecologist. I visited the gynecologist on Thursday for my yearly exam. I see a male gynecologist and while he's a little awkward, he's a very nice guy,

a good doctor, and hasn't given me creep vibes. Before he came in, I took off everything except my socks and put on a little gown they gave me. I settled on the bed and then he entered. We made a little bit of small talk just so that we weren't in silence. I go through the, any concerns, anything you need to bring up since the last visit, etc. And then it's time for the old peak.

I put my legs in the stirrups and he begins his exam. He must be feeling awkward from the silence because after a minute he says, Oh, you must have a cat, huh? I do have a couple of cats, but I hadn't mentioned that to him. My brain short circuits. How can he tell that I have cats just by looking at my lady parts? Does it smell like cats down there? So I say, why does my vagina smell? He must have interpreted my question as, why does my vagina smell? And he said, I'm not smelling anything right now.

Can you describe the smell? My brain goes into overdrive. What the hell does he mean can I describe it? He's the one down there. So I clarify, can I describe the cat vagina smell? He pauses and sits up straight and just says, what? So I say, do I smell like cats down there? How could you tell that I have cats?" His face turns bright red and he points to my foot in the stirrup, or more specifically, the cat socks that I'm wearing, which also happens to have a single white cat hair clinging to the sock. I said, oh, I thought my lady part smelled like cats or something. He shook his head and he very quickly finished up.

So I don't smell like a cat, but I don't think I can go back to him. The top comment from Sailor Chibi. Rest assured, he's told literally everyone in the office about this. Yeah, OP, you're not the crazy cat lady, you're the smelly cat lady. The doctor's like, Ah, you must have cats. Today I F'd up by putting BJs for two hours on my calendar at work. So I recently got a promotion at work, and with it comes a shared administrative assistant. The admin, among other things, can help schedule, move, and cancel meetings for me. To do this, she has access to my calendar and can see all my meetings.

My wife and I have a membership to a few wholesale clubs, including BJs and Coscos. On Friday, my wife wants me to go with her to both so that we can get stuff for a party we're having this weekend. Well, me being stupid, went into my calendar last night and blocked off 2 hours on my own calendar for Friday with a simple title of BJ's. Obviously, you can see where this is going. But my new admin pinged me today and we had the following conversation. Reminder, I can see your calendar now. Yep, I remember, but thanks for the reminder anyways.

And that means I can also see all the meetings you add yourself. Yep, got it. So I can see the meeting you put on your calendar for Friday at lunch. Oh god. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. My wife and I are going to Costco and BJ's and I blocked off two hours to run some errands. I promise! Lul, you can do whatever you want on your free time. Just thought I'd remind you. I don't think she believes me and now will be super embarrassed every time I talk to her or see her. Yikes. Down in the comments, we have this story from Blazinar. For my older brother's 40th birthday, his now mother-in-law made him a card that said, I heart BJ's in reference to the

Toronto Blue Jays baseball team. The group of us effing died laughing at us, and she had no clue why. Her husband, who had apparently not seen the card prior to this, had to very politely explain why we were laughing as the rest of us couldn't keep our cool together long enough to do so. This reminds me of an event from my childhood, which is one of those embarrassing memories that pop into your mind as you're trying to fall asleep. I was walking across a soccer field in high school with two upperclassmen. So I guess I probably would have been in maybe ninth or tenth grade and they were probably 11th or 12th. And I thought they were cool. They were definitely cooler than me, more confident, more popular. But I was cool enough, I guess, to hang out with them. And the two guys were talking about their sexual conquests. And I was thinking, oh, I better not seem like

a naive virgin, even though I definitely was. And one of the guys said something, something. She gave me a BJ and I said BJ? What's a BJ? And he says blowjob. And I'm like, aha, I see. They now know you're a stupid loser. Good job Dabney! Today I effed up by sleeping with my former boss in front of her husband.

My former boss contacted me a few days ago with an unusual request. She wanted to know if I was interested in sleeping with her while her husband watched us. I said that I was the wrong guy for the job, but she disagreed and said that I was the perfect guy based on a random one-night stand that we had years ago before she remarried. She said her new husband wanted to watch her bang another guy and she was into it. I agreed to discuss the possibility in person, especially when she offered to pay for dinner. I forgot how attractive she was until I saw her face to face.

She introduced me to her new husband who wanted me to understand that all he wanted was to be an observer in the bedroom. He made it sound like the worst-case scenario was that I would get laid, which I believe, so yeah, I said yes. Fast forward to the action. A couple of days had passed since I said yes. I was in Missionary when I heard snoring and farting coming from the so-called Observer. The husband passed out at some point, but obviously not quietly, which affected my concentration on the action because the snoring was distracting and the farting was disgusting. My ex-boss apologized on her husband's behalf before grabbing the box of tissues next to the bed and aggressively hurling it at her unconscious husband. Her aim was off,

the tissue box missed the target, prompting my ex-boss to hysterically scream her husband's name over and over into my ears while I was still laying pipe and trying to pretend that absolutely nothing weird was happening. The husband eventually woke up after my ex-boss managed to scream his name at the top of her lungs. Cue all out war. My ex-boss called her husband rude for falling asleep. The husband said that he had a long day at work. My ex-boss scoffed and said that her husband had no clue what a long day at work looked

like because what he did in one day was nothing compared to what she had to do every day as an independent businesswoman. The husband said that he had zero energy for another boss b-word speech. My ex-boss looked at me and said that her husband has zero energy on a permanent basis. I asked both of them if they wanted me to stop and give them privacy because I was awkwardly still going at it in silence while listening to them. My ex-boss said that I should ask her husband since the whole thing was his idea. The husband unexpectedly slapped my butt on his way towards the bedroom door and said

that I should finish up and call it a night. I did not finish up. But I did call it a night when I realized that my desire to get away from my ex-boss and her husband outweighed my desire to finish. One one-night stand should have been enough, but I just had to come back before, which I now regret. Hmm, something tells me this marriage isn't going to last. What do you guys think? Today I effed up by asking a MILF for her number. So I was at the mall with my son, who's a toddler. Anyway, my son was playing really well with this little girl.

Like they were two peas in a pod playing together, just having a blast. I'm a big dude. A lot of people say that I look scary. Anyways, my son is playing. I'm eating my lunch and I decide I need to figure out who this girl's parents are. I figure it out and she's apparently a hot mom. So I walk up to her and go, hey, our kids are playing together. Maybe I can get your number and we can set up a playdate.

She looks at me and goes, I'm married. I was thinking, that's nice. My son wants to play with your daughter. So I said, me too. My wife would love to meet you. Our kids are playing well together. Do you want to set up a playdate? At this point, her husband walks up and she goes, this guy is asking for my number after I told him I married. At this point, I'm thinking, screw it. Not worth it. I apologize and sit down and wait for my son to finish playing. Today I effed up by showing my wife to swipe right to see the popular feed. My wife is new to Reddit. Her profile is maybe 2 years old. I told her how it works and she's

enjoyed it so far. My wife is very wholesome and has been filling her feed with things she likes, like I told her to. She's searched for subreddits she's interested in and joins them and enjoys her feed. Simple enough. I've been keeping her up to tabs on current events in everyday conversations. This happened in the world, so and so is in the news, that happened at that place sort of thing. She's always just asked me where I'm getting my information from and I just tell her Reddit. She always just sort of responded

back with, huh, I must have missed that. Or I didn't see that at all in my feed. My first really big clue was the Musk hand gesture and I was honestly quite surprised when she said her usual default response. The second flag was when she said she never noticed the massive influx of subreddits requesting to ban all X slash Twitter posts. Last night, I decided to forego our usual evening winding down and cuddling while watching unimportant YouTube videos in the background. I decided to put on music and talk about our day and just enjoy each other's company. I showed her something on Reddit that I thought was funny and she laughed and said, OMG, where'd you see that? Send it to me.

And I told her it should be in her feed, just scroll down from the top posts. She said she did and she couldn't find it. I then asked her to show me her feed and it was all r slash cats, r slash dogs with jobs, r slash corgis, r slash sewing, r slash baking, etc. I said, oh, you're in your custom feed. Just scroll right. The look on her face went blank and she asked, what do you mean scroll right? I said, swipe right and you'll get to the popular feed.

Swipe right again and you'll get to the watch section where it's all videos. She just dropped her jaw and told me she never knew about that. I said, oh, that finally makes sense, and I showed her how to mute certain subreddits if she didn't want to see them. I went about our evening and thought nothing of it. Except I totally messed up. She came home from work tonight just totally numb. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she's just been in an unfiltered, popular doom scroll all day. She's only known like highlights of what's just been in an unfiltered, popular doom scroll all day. She's only known like highlights of what's going on in the world from what I've told her.

Now she knows everything and I'm afraid I broke her. I feel bad. Well it's true. Reddit is awful and everyone should get off it, including me, right now. That was r slash today I effed up and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.